Trial and Glory (51 page)

Wiqua continued for a few minutes detailing the battle between Nachun and the Kifzo. Kaz had managed to win over the warriors he once commanded. Through their resources, he found a way to return home.

“Where is he now?”

“Drake went to find him. He sent us to search for you and protect you. Kaz made a promise to the Kifzo. He said that you would understand, and despite the time apart you would be more upset with him for breaking his word than not immediately rushing to you.”

Lucia smiled. “He sounds as though he’s changed,” she said, recalling all that she had learned recently about Kaz from Tobin and Jober. The old Kaz would have known her wishes, but done what he thought best anyway, placing her above everyone.

“He has.” Wiqua leaned in closer, clasping both of her hands. “He’s a better version of the man you knew. An example in leadership to some, a mentor to others, a great friend to many, even a best friend.” Tears streaked down the old man’s face as he took a breath. “And a son to an old woman and an old man.”

She embraced Wiqua, seeing the love he had for her husband.

Kaz, please hurry.

* * *

Back-to-back Kaz and Tobin fought. Two men standing against fourteen had seemed unlikely, yet they remained while their opponents fell.

Kaz sidestepped a wild thrust, raking the edge of his sword across a warrior’s wrist, causing him to release his weapon. Tobin killed his opponent, then spun to finish Kaz’s while Kaz deflected a throwing knife sailing toward his brother’s chest. Their impacts, a sharp clank and a wet thud, struck as one.

He’s gotten so much better with the sword. It’s almost as if we were boys again.

Since Kaz’s time away, he had developed an unspoken way of communicating with men he fought beside in battle, particularly Crusher. However, he’d never felt as sure of what the man beside him would do, or how he would react, as he did with Tobin.

It’s like he’s reading my mind.
He wondered once more what had caused the rift to divide them so thoroughly.

The brothers separated, running in opposite directions toward the last two Gray Marsh Clan warriors, each in the act of fleeing. Kaz’s target flailed wildly with his sword while trying to draw a dagger free from his waist. Kaz casually parried the blows and opened the warrior’s gut. The man howled, hurriedly grasping at the pink, snake-like entrails spilling out. Kaz finished him before he managed another breath.

He spun in time to watch Tobin step away from his falling opponent.

Bodies lay dismembered and bloody all around them, yet it was Tobin’s hard gaze that captured his attention. Tobin made no move to sheathe his gore-covered sword. Kaz realized that he had not either.

They stared at each other, silently. Hints of fighting still sounded in the distance. However, none of it rose higher than their steady breathing.

“I see you haven’t lost any skill in your time away,
Brother.
”

Kaz flinched at the way Tobin spat the word at him.
So that’s what that feels like.
He had to fight the inclination to respond in kind.

“And it appears you’ve regained all you once had, and then some.”

“It’s amazing what can be accomplished with a strong ankle,
Brother
.”

Kaz nodded.

“No retort? No gloating?”

“No.”

Tobin grunted. “That doesn’t sound like the Kaz I know.”

“A man can change a lot in the amount of time I’ve been gone. I’m sure you would agree.”

Tobin frowned. He glanced over his shoulder as if something tugged at him to leave. “You said you wanted to talk.”

Where to begin?

“Let me start by telling you what really happened to me. Or at least what I managed to figure out. I—”

“I already know,” said Tobin, cutting Kaz off. “It was Nachun. Teleportation is what he called it. He used it as part of an experiment.”

“You know?” Kaz squeezed his sword at the implication, struggling against the urge to attack his brother.

“Yes, but I was not part of it.” He snorted. “Believe it or not, I stumbled upon the scene by accident, and actually tried to stop it.”

“Why do you laugh?”

“Because you made my life miserable for as far back as I can remember. I had a chance to exact some form of retribution on you and risked my own well-being to save you instead.”

Kaz relaxed his grip. “Why?”

“I still don’t know.”

“Itken said the story you told Father did not include anything about Nachun’s involvement.”

“I could do nothing about your disappearance. According to Nachun, there was no chance you would ever return.” Tobin shrugged. “I did what I thought was best for me.”

Kaz’s lip curled. He took a breath. “Did you also know Nachun affected my memory?”

“He said as much. Another ‘precaution’ is what he called it. Although it would seem that part failed.”

“No, it worked. I only recently regained my memories. Most of them. That’s part of what I want to talk to you about. I know I treated you poorly, even by the standards of the life we lived, but I . . . I can’t remember why.”

Tobin began to chuckle, shaking his head. “You want me to validate whether your hate for me was warranted?”

Kaz said nothing, unsure how to respond.

The laughter stopped. Tobin’s voice turned somber. “There are probably a hundred reasons why you always hated me, but in the end only one matters.” He paused. “I killed our mother.”

Kaz’s gut clenched. His head pulsed as fractured memories of their childhood flashed in his mind. He struggled to focus.

“Oddly enough, I always wanted to know the reason behind your hate for me too. But you never told me when I would ask. No one else would tell me either. Everyone feared that bringing up Mother would only incite Father’s wrath.” He shook his head. “I had no memory of that day. I recently tracked down the few living people who would know the truth. They helped me recover my memory.”

Kaz forced himself to remain calm, eager to learn the truth. “Tell me.”

“You and I were playing as boys, roughly I might add. Something we apparently did often . . . when it was I who made
your
life miserable. Ironic, isn’t it? I hid from you on a shelf. But not well enough, because you found me. Mother came to find us because we were screaming at each other. She scolded me, and I threw a fit after she turned her back. My leg accidently struck a heavy jar from the shelf. It hit her in the head.” He paused with a heavy sigh. “Those I talked to said that you believed I killed her purposefully out of jealousy for her showing you favoritism.”

Something cleared in Kaz’s mind. He had remembered his mother fondly, but hadn’t thought about her death since his memories returned.

Kaz recalled how roughly he and Tobin used to play. Despite being younger, his brother often bested him and quickly became their father’s favorite. Their mother shielded Kaz from his wrath.

Tobin sat on a shelf above. The boys taunted each other. Kaz’s mother appeared in the doorway wearing a tired look and raised her voice in frustration. She ordered Tobin down while turning to speak with Kaz.

Kaz looked at his mother’s disappointed face while he heard a shifting on the shelf above. A loud crash sounded as the pot crashed into her head. She lay on the floor, neck angled awkwardly, blood coming from her mouth, chest still. He had never seen a dead body before, but he knew immediately that his mother was one.

Adosh, their servant, entered shortly afterward. He shook Kaz, begging for an explanation on what happened. Rage like he had never known before took him as he saw the pieces of broken pottery near his mother’s body. Kaz lunged toward his brother, determined to make him pay for what he had done. All the while he yelled, “He killed her.”

Adosh held him tight so he could do nothing. Belin later dragged him away kicking, screaming, and sobbing.

The last thing he recalled was Tobin’s blank, remorseless expression staring at their mother’s body.

Like he didn’t care.
Like he . . .
Kaz stopped himself, seeing things differently as he revisited that moment through the eyes of an adult.
He was a boy. We both were. The look was not from a lack of remorse. It was shock. It was too painful for him to deal with. I allowed myself to hate him for all these years anyway.

“I believe you,” said Kaz.

Tobin blinked. “You seemed pretty certain before. Why should you believe me now? I could be lying.”

“Yes, I guess you could.” Kaz paused. “Itken told me the things you did while conquering the Green Forest and Red Mountain Clans.”

Tobin looked away. “No different than the things you did when Father united our clan, and when we conquered the Orange Desert Clan.”

“And like me, I’m sure you rationalized each of those decisions. However, I can see your disgust for having done them. You may not believe me, but I often felt the same way. Even more so now.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“I don’t want our clan to continue down the path Father started. I never have. I was just too afraid to admit it. I can see that you want something better. I spoke with the Kifzo that I returned with. They want the same.”

“You want me to support your rule, then?”

“No. I have no problem with you ruling the people so long as you do right by them.”

Tobin rubbed his face. “Do you know that I killed Father?”

Kaz nodded.

“That doesn’t bother you?”

“No. He loved me no more than he loved you. He may have favored me in public, but behind closed doors he propped you up to ridicule me. Father fed any hate I had for you after Mother’s death. I’m actually glad you found the nerve to do to him what I should have done long ago.”

Tobin laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“You make this all sound so simple. We cast aside a lifetime of animosity, injuries, and suffering. Forget about the death of two parents, and embrace each other as family, all on a misunderstanding.”

“Why not? You’ve found no joy in our rivalry. Neither have I.”

He continued to laugh, one that mimicked disbelief. “You’ve changed so much. Aren’t you passionate about anything anymore?”

“Just one thing.”

“Lucia,” said Tobin, his voice falling.

Kaz nodded.

He grunted. “And now we reach the heart of the matter.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Hurtful words and broken bones. They sting, but over time the pain deadens. However, some pain only grows, especially when it involves matters of the heart. She is the one thing I can’t forgive you for.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You took her from me.”

“How could I have taken her from you? You never had a relationship with her.”

“I never had the opportunity. You pushed me aside as I went to speak with her that day the market opened.”

Kaz’s brows furrowed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I remember everything about that day, and I never saw you. “

“Stop. I saw the flash of blue and gray that knocked me to the ground. As I collected myself, you walked by. You didn’t even look at me. Like I was beneath you.”

“I didn’t look at you because I didn’t see you,” snapped Kaz. “I went to the market to kill time with Ral and Durahn.”

Tobin cocked his head to the side. He looked away, bringing a hand to his face, index finger and thumb pinching at the bridge of his nose. “You didn’t do it. . . . It was Durahn. But because I saw you, I assumed it could be no one else.” He swore. “You know, I even remember hearing his laugh, but I was too blind with rage to think clearly.” He cursed again. “One of us should have killed him long ago.”

Kaz grunted. “He’s dead now. I saw him fall.”

“Good.”

“So then nothing stands in the way of putting the past behind us now.”

Tobin shook his head, frowning. “My feelings for Lucia are still there. You’ve been gone a long time and so much has changed. Things have happened between her and me that we’ll never be able to put behind us. At least I know I won’t be able to . . . I was on my way to find her. But anything I planned to tell her seems pointless now.”

Kaz’s eyes narrowed. “What happened between you and Lucia?” Hundreds of possibilities ran through his head.

Tobin ignored the question. He brought his sword up, and stared at his blade. “Remember the last time we fought each other? We were teenagers. You beat me, but only after I took an arrow to the ankle. I’ve always wondered how we would have fared on equal terms.”

Kaz swore. “We don’t need to do this.”

“We do. Say what you want about peace and us getting along, but the fact is that with you here everything has changed. You’ll rule our clan regardless of what you’ve said, and Lucia will never be mine so long as you’re alive. That leaves me with nothing.” He paused. “Which of us do you think is the better swordsman?”

“I don’t want to kill you.”

“Then just die.”

* * *

Tobin circled his brother, head swimming with rage and despair. On a night when his world seemed to be crashing around him, Kaz’s return added a level of confusion Tobin had never expected. Nothing could have prepared him for their conversation or the gambit of emotions that followed.

Why couldn’t he have stayed dead? My life is complicated enough.

Weeks had passed since learning the truth of his mother’s death and yet he still struggled to cope with the knowledge.

But in a matter of moments, Kaz just accepts it.

Tobin actually admired his brother’s sincerity on the matter. If that had been the only barrier between them making amends he might have joined Kaz in burying the past.

But it isn’t. Kaz will never accept what happened between me and Lucia. He may forgive her for what happened, but never me. Then what? Banish me to some far corner of Hesh? Or will he kill me then when I have no means to defend myself?

He spun the sword in his hand, shuffling backward, staring into his brother’s eyes.

Who is the more deserving brother of Lucia’s love?