This Love of Mine (Raine Series #1) (19 page)

****

I woke to
the aroma of bacon and eggs billowing up around me. As I made my way
downstairs, I could faintly hear my grandparents in a heated conversation. I
almost felt bad walking in on them, but the minute I heard Kayla's and my name,
I all but ran down the remaining stairs.

My
grandparents sat at the dining room table arguing for the first time I'd ever
seen. I knew I was in deep shit the minute my grandfather looked up and had
that stern look on his face. "Okay, I'm awake now. So have at it,
Sir."

I
stretched my arms out to my side waiting for the impact of my grandfather's
fist, but it never came. Instead, he hauled his old ass out that back door,
slamming it behind him. I glanced over at my grandmother's sullen face and
immediately wrapped her up in my arms. I wasn't exactly sure why she was sad or
why my grandfather was pissed, but I knew at that moment, all she needed was a
hug from her only grandchild.

"I'm
sorry, Gran. I wish I didn't have to go, but this is something I have to do for
myself. Please don't be sad." I whispered into her hair.

"Oh
baby, of course I'm sad that you're leavin', but I'm more upset with the fact
that you let that sweet girl go. I swear she could've been the best thing to
ever happen to you."

Shit!
That was the last thing I expected to hear coming from my gran. Now I
understood why my grandfather was so pissed off. It had absolutely nothing to
do with me leaving the state for college. And it had everything to do with the
fact that he had told me to stay away from that girl, and I basically thrust
myself into her life. I felt worse than I had the night before, knowing that I had
to go make peace with my grandfather.

"Gran,
it just wasn't meant to be. I'm gonna go talk to Grandpa."

I kissed
the top of her head and made my way out back. Sure enough, my grandfather sat in
his rocker, waiting for me to join him. I was ready to get a mouth full, hell I
deserved more than that, but I was gonna let him unleash on me regardless of
how the situation really played out. There was no reason to involve Kayla in
all of this, because in all actuality,
I
was
the one who let her go, not the other way around.

"You
wanna tell me what part of, that girl doesn't need to be hurt anymore, you
didn't understand?"

"No,
not really, Sir. All I can really say is that I'm sorry. I wish things would've
turned out differently, but they didn't. I thought you, out of everybody, would
be happy about this."

"Of
course I'm not
happy
about it, son. I
told you to stay away so she would never have to deal with this from you. I
knew she was gonna fall for you, boy. They all do. But, she is one girl who
didn't deserve to have to deal with you and your heart breakin' ways."

I felt
bad, I really did, and hearing the words come out of my grandfather's mouth
made my heart break all over again.

"Sir
look, I will make peace with her family before I leave tonight, but you can't
blame me for the whole situation. There were two people involved in this and
she never said no."

"Boy,
you better watch your tongue, right this second. Now I won't stand for this
back talk. Make it right, and go. No reason to prolong the inevitable. Just get
it over with. I'll see ya for dinner, and don't ya dare be late."

"Yes,
Sir." I watched as my grandfather headed back inside and as soon as the
screen door snapped into place, I all but lost it. I knew what I had to do, but
I honestly didn't think I would survive having to see her again. I took my ball
cap off of my head and tossed it to the gravel. I ran my hands through my hair
and down my face, as a few stray tears worked their way out.

A few
minutes later, I pulled myself together enough to go talk to the James'. I
grabbed my hat from the ground and pulled it back down over my mess of hair.
The entire walk over to their house felt like an eternity. When I eventually
reached their front steps, I had rehearsed my speech at least a million times.
I knocked two times and stood back with my hands in my front pockets, waiting
for her granddad to come out and shoot my ass for even returning to their home.
I was surprised when it was Mrs. James who came to the door.

"Why
Madison Raine, what are ya doin' on my front porch?"

"I'm
sorry ma'am, I just came to have a few words with you and Mr. James if that's
okay?" I pulled my hat from my head and tucked it into my back pocket.

"Well
come on in honey. Jasper is in the kitchen."

"Thank
you, ma'am."

I
followed Kayla's grandmamma through their house and into their kitchen where we
found Mr. James fixin' himself a plate of food. I felt bad for intruding on
their breakfast, but if I didn't do this now, I would lose my nerve to do what
needed to be done.

"Mr.
James, Mrs. James, I just wanted to come by and apologize. I'm sorry for the
way things ended with your granddaughter. It was never my intention to hurt
her. I need you to know that. She means more to me than even she will ever
understand. Hell, I would give my life for that girl up there." I pointed
up the stairs, praying that Kayla didn't come down while I was there. It
would've been more than I could bear.

"She's
not here honey, so you can wipe that worried look off your face. She and Cami
headed into town early this morning to meet some friends."

The look
on my face went from fearful to perplexed in less than an instant. As far as I
knew, Kayla had no other friends in this town besides me. I didn't dwell on
this bit of news for too long, because I was here for her grandparent’s
forgiveness, not to worry about who she was with.

"Either
way, I just want y'all to know that I am sorry if I hurt y'all and your
granddaughter. You won't have to worry about it any longer though. I'll be
leavin' for Arizona tonight and you won't have to deal with me ever again. So,
thank you for your time. Y'all enjoy your breakfast now." I gave a small
wave and started making my way to the front door. Before I could turn the knob
I felt a cold gentle hand grip my forearm, trying to turn me around.

"Madison,
honey, can I speak to you for a minute out front?"

"Of
course, Mrs. James." I opened the door and let her walk through first as I
followed right behind her. We took a seat on the matching white rocking chairs
and Mrs. James slowly reached out for my hand. I let her take it, even though
the mere contact was already choking me up inside.

"Madison,
I need you to know something. Now I know your granddaddy and my husband would
never tell you this, but I think you deserve to know why Jasper is so hard on
you. It has nothin' to do with Kayla. Okay, maybe a bit of it, but the main
reason is your granddaddy himself. See back when your grandparents, Jasper and
I were all in high school together, the relationships were actually reversed.
Your granddaddy and me had been together for three years when he started havin'
eyes for your grandmamma. Jasper and your grandmamma had been together for a
year longer than your granddaddy and me. Needless to say, things got very
complicated. Long story short, I started fallin' for your granddaddy again,
after Jasper and me got together. He still had some feelings for your grandmamma,
but she was over the moon in love with your granddaddy and refused to take Jasper
back. You Raine men have quite the effect on women. Everyone looked at it, as
though we all settled, but in reality we wound up with the ones we were
supposed to be with. After that, Jasper and your granddaddy held a grudge. Til
this day, they still refuse to talk unless they absolutely have to. So see,
part of it has to do with Kayla, but the bigger thing is that he just doesn't
want our families intermingling. Now we love that little girl more than life
itself and I never want to see no harm come to her, but I know you to be a good
boy. You always have been, and I would be proud to have you be a part of this
family. So when the time is right, y'all will find your way back to one
another, I know you will."

My mind
was spinning with all the information she had just shared with me. I guess a
part of me had always wondered why my grandfather and Mr. James refused to talk
to each other, but I never would've guessed all of this. And then, what she
said about me and Kayla settled in. I had no choice but to agree with her,
because let's face it, she'd been around long enough and experienced love
enough, to know when it was gonna work.

I gave
her a long tight hug and thanked her for all that she had shared. I left the
James' place with a new sense of hope, knowing that Kayla and I would find our
way back to each other. I had to believe it, because with out that, I had
nothing.

****

I was
due to leave around eleven tonight and for some reason, I just had a feeling
that she would be out in that open patch of land, waiting for me. Whether it
was to say good-bye or tell me to go to hell, I found myself hoping and praying
that she would be there. It was ten forty five, when I said my good-byes to my
grandparents and made my way out to that field. My hands were sweating, my
heart was racing and I swear I was about to pass out, but all that only
intensified, when I saw her brown locks blowing in the breeze as her back was
turned to me.

I closed
my eyes and took in a deep breath as I neared the tree where she stood. I wasn't
exactly sure what to say to her, but I was hoping that it would just come to
me, just as my growing love for her had. She must've heard me, because she
quickly turned around and ran straight into my arms. I wasn't sure how to
react, but I held her tightly, almost as if I would never see her again. I
could feel her tears soaking through my shirt and it took everything inside of
me not to beg her to come with me, or even drag her back to my truck.

I ran my
fingers through her long dark hair as she pressed her face deeper into my
chest. Neither of us spoke as we stood there, holding one another, knowing this
was good-bye.

When she
finally pulled back, I looked down into her sparkling blue eyes, wet with
sadness. I ran the pads of my thumbs underneath them, removing the black
mascara that had pooled at the bottom. She was so beautiful, even when she
looked a mess. Man, how I loved this girl.

"I
just had to say a proper good-bye. I couldn't let you go thinkin' I hated you.
I know why you did what you did and it makes me want to love you all that more.
You're something else, Madison Raine. Think of me often." Her voice was
trembling and all I wanted to do was ease her pain.

"Always,
Kayla James, always. We'll find our way back to each other, I just know it. You
were meant for me KJ. I believe that. Can I call you when I get there?" I
wasn't sure what she was going to say, but her saying anything was better than
nothing at all.

"You
better." She smiled a true genuine smile and my heart soared. I would come
back for her. If it was the last thing I did, I would do it, sooner rather than
later.

Kayla

I
watched through hooded eyes and endless falling tears as he walked away from
me. I wasn't sure when I would see him again, but I knew I would at least hear
from him in a few days. I gave a small wave before folding my arms over my
shaking chest. My tears kept falling and my heart was still breaking, when he
finally disappeared into the darkness. I clutched at my chest as my cries racked
through my body, causing me to tremble and fall to the ground below me.

The wind
had picked up and I could smell the faint hint of marijuana in the air. I
quietly pushed myself up off of the grass, and started making my way back
towards the house, as an uneasy feeling settled into my chest. Something felt
off, and everything seemed to slow down. The smell assaulted my nose once again
and I quickly came to a halt right where I stood. Before I could react, I heard
his
voice extremely close to my ear.
Shivers ran down my spine as I willed this all to be a horrible nightmare.

"Now
that he's out of the way. Did you really think I would let you go so easily?
I'll let you go, Kayla, but not without leaving you with a small piece of me."

I slowly
turned around and came face to face with the one guy I had hoped I would never
have to see again, Wren.

I opened
my mouth to speak but before I could get a word out, the entire world around me
went black.

Kayla

Sometimes
in life you question how things could have been different. I know I did. My
life had never been easy, and I guess I had myself to blame. As easily as
things come to you, they can be taken away. Never doubt or question your love
for someone else, because it could be the last time you experience it. Live
everyday as though it were your last, because you never know when it really could
be.

I truly
believe that I loved Madison. I wanted to believe it more than anything, but so
many things held me back from telling him that. If only I would've told him,
maybe then this wouldn't have happened to me. Maybe one day, one day he will
know how I felt and only then will I truly feel free. In all my blackness, I
just wanted him. I wanted, my cowboy.