The Mistress of Black Grove Manor (73 page)

"Why?" Jamie asked. "I mean," She quickly realized what she had said could be wrong. "I don't mean offence by it. I just mean, what made you chose it over this?" She motioned around her, to the air conditioning, to the TV, the cars outside in the driveway. "Aren't you sad knowing that you will never get to have any of this?"

Ruth shrugged. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go into detail about it, but before she realized it she was talking. “When your Maemm and our Maemmi left the community, were shunned. It was hard on their family.” She tried not to sound resentful. She tried not to
be
resentful about it. “I knew if my deatt ever thought one of his girls were thinking about leaving he might not be able to handle it.”

So she’d decided to never give herself a choice. She was going to stay there and create a family of her own.

“So, you’re letting your family decide what you do?”

“No! This was my choice. Even when I was old enough for Rumaschpring I decided it wasn’t for me.”

Both girls stared at her, confusion written all over their face.

“Er,” Ruth thought quickly about how to explain it. “It’s a time when we are teens, before we’re baptized, that we’re able to go out and explore the English world without fear of being shunned, within reason.” Ruth thought fast. “We’d be able to do all the things you do; some parents even help out by saving up for a car. It’s a way to get it all out of your system before settling down and getting married.”

Both girls still started at her, though they seemed to understand what she was talking about now.

“Yea, I remember mom mentioning that a couple times when she’s had a little bit too much wine.” Jamie said, Natasha nodded. “So you didn’t do it?”

“Nee.”

“Don’t you wonder?”

Ruth shrugged. “I used to.” But she didn’t hear much about the English world these days, that was a quick way to stop thinking about it.
Time to take the conversation away from me.
She didn’t like having all this attention on her. “Do you, er… have boyfriends?” She asked them.

Both girls grinned widely.

“Mom’s pretty strict with us, but she does let us date.” Natasha said. “Jamie doesn’t have a boyfriend, but
I
do.”

“For now.” Jamie added quickly. Both girls shared a glance that only they fully understood.

Ruth’s heart tugged. Was she jealous that they had boyfriends?
Nee. I’ve never cared about that.
Boys had never mattered to her that much.
It must be something else.
She told herself.

“So, there must be something you want to do while you’re here.” Natasha said. “Something you can’t normally do.”

Ruth stared blankly. She hadn’t thought about it at all. “I… I don’t know.”

“We’ll have to think of something.” Natasha beamed. Ruth’s heart skipped a beat.
I’m not sure this is a good idea.
She thought.

Everyone headed to bed around 9:00. Ruth was tired, but despite how hard she tried she couldn’t get to sleep. So she lay in bed after borrowing a book from their grandmother’s library. There had been so many options, but most of them sounded strange. She ended up settling for something that was about in home gardens. A topic that Ruth already knew about and was comfortable with.
That’s what I need right now.
She thought. She needed comfort. Was that such a crazy thing to ask for?
In a house with air conditioning it might just be.

Despite the fact she had never been out of the community she did know a thing or two about English customs and she had heard of air conditioning before from Joshua.

I hope he doesn’t get caught.

If someone figured out what he did for her family he wouldn’t be shunned, but some would not be pleased.
I’ll just be thankful when this is all over and we can go back home.

It’s not that Ruth didn’t understand why they were here, but it was all… too much. Their grandmother hadn’t been in their life, Ruth had no emotional attachment to her. And Grace, she was nice- so were her daughters, but they… were just people to her. It was hard to process that she had cousins she hadn’t known about all her life. How was she supposed to feel like they were family when she was just meeting them now?

Two soft knocks on the door brought Ruth back to reality. She glanced up to see Natasha open the door.

“Hey,” She whispered.

Ruth glanced over to Mary, who hadn’t budged.

“What do you want?”

“Come with me.” Natasha didn’t say another word before walking away, the door opened behind her.

Ruth jumped off the bed and silently followed Natasha.
What could she want at this hour?
She wondered.

Natasha glanced over her shoulder as she made her way into the room that her and her sister were sharing.

“Close the door.” She said the second Ruth stepped inside. Ruth did as she was told, opening her mouth. “Sorry about that.” Natasha cut her off. “But I didn’t want to wake your sister.”

“Oh.”

So what was it they wanted?

“Come out with us,” Jamie said as if reading Ruth’s mind.

“What?”

“We’re going out with some friends. You should come with us. I mean, it’s not like you’ve ever had a chance, right? Well now you have a chance.”

Ruth looked around.
They’re sneaking out.
She realized. Her jaw dropped. Her parents would never allow her to do such a thing.
What would they do if they found out?

“Come on,” Natasha gave her a smile. “It will be fun, trust me.”

“Wh-what about my clothes?” Ruth couldn’t believe she was actually considering this! She knew it was wrong, she knew she could be shunned for doing such a thing.

Both girls looked her up and down.

“I think you could fit into mine.” Natasha said. She rushed over to her bag and pulled out a bunch of clothing. My eyes widened as I stared at everything. She turned holding a pair of ultra short jean shorts. “How about these?”

Ruth’s cheeks flushed just thinking about having to wear them. She shook her head speechlessly.

The idea of showing that much skin… she couldn’t understand it. Jamie cleared her throat stepping towards the pile of clothes. “How about something more… like…” She ruffled through the clothing and pulled out two garments. A pair of jeans and a shirt. “We can get a sweater too,” She added quickly.

“Uh, okay…” It looked like it was covering. Ruth reached out and took it. She slipped out of her dress, aware of the eyes on her but she often changed with Mary in the room, it didn’t bother her much. Jamie cleared her throat as Ruth slipped into the pants, shocked by how tight they were against her legs.

“I don’t think these fit.”

“They do.” Both girls said.

“Just, jump up and down a little. That should help get them on.” Natasha said.

Ruth raised an eyebrow.
Jump up and down?
She didn’t get it, but she did. Pulling the jeans up over her hips she found herself jumping lightly off the ground. She did the jeans up and looked up to see Jamie holding a bra. She’d never worn one herself, but a couple of the girls who had gone out for rumaschpring had gotten some when they were out in the English world and had liked wearing them so much they kept at it.

Ruth reached out, staring at it. She took it, her cheeks flushing.

It wasn’t hard to figure out how to put it on.

“You’ve gotta, kinda scoop it up.” Natasha said, her hands moving to make the motions with her hands.

Jamie laughed, and as red as Ruth’s cheeks were, she could understand why.

Once Ruth slipped the shirt over her head she turned to look in a mirror. She was amazed by what she saw.

I… I look like an Englisher.

Ruth knew she shouldn’t have been surprised by that, but she was. She couldn’t believe it as she stared at herself in the mirror.

“How about a little make up?” Jamie suggested. “Just a little. Your skin is flawless; you shouldn’t need mascara or anything.”

Ruth turned to Jamie. She wasn’t sure how to react honestly. Jamie stepped towards her with a bottle in her hand. She unscrewed it and handed the top to Ruth. It was slick with liquid.

“On your lips.”

Ruth hadn’t had any experience with make up, although she had heard a little about it from the girls who had been out in the English world. Ruth applied the make up to her lips.

“What’s your hair like?” Jamie asked.

“Uh,” In answer Ruth untied the bun her hair was normally in.

“Wow.” Natasha muttered. She reached out and ran her fingers over Ruth’s long hair.

Her dirty blonde hair made its way close to her tail bone. Something she was proud of, despite knowing that she shouldn’t take pride in such a vain thing Ruth couldn’t help it.

She smiled, trying not to let the compliment get to her.

“I was going to suggest my pink extensions, but… I think your hair might be longer.”

Ruth’s heart skipped a beat. Pink extensions.
How amazing.
She’d never thought about adding color to her hair, yet alone such a crazy color.

“We could give it a try.” Jamie suggested. “I think she’d look super cute with it.”

Natasha nodded, heading over to a dresser and grabbing something.

Together with the help of Jamie the two girls put a row of pink hair into Ruth’s hair.

She stared at herself in the mirror, hardly recognising herself anymore.
But the woman staring at me looks beautiful.
She thought. And it was the truth. She looked like an Englisher, but she was beautiful none the less.

“All that is left is some shoes.” Jamie said as she padded over to the dresser. She bent down, stood up and turned to Ruth, a pair of black shoes with a bow on them in her hand.

Ruth started at them as she stepped towards them. This was it.
And then I’m going to sneak out.
Her heart skipped a beat.

“No,” she whispered. “I… I mean, I can’t. I can’t do any of this.” She’d been so caught up in seeing what she might look like as an Englisher. She hadn’t realized she was being led astray.

“Why not?” Natasha asked.

“Because,” she couldn’t give them an answer. She didn’t want to say it out loud.

“Come on, we’re just going out for a bit of coffee. Just one coffee and we’ll come back. I mean, don’t you want to experience the English world at all while you’re out here?”

Ruth opened her mouth to answer, but words didn’t come out.
Jah.

Nee.
She told herself.
I made my choice a long time ago. This is not the world I belong in.

Jamie touched her arm. “Come on, I want you to meet our friends.”

Her heart skipped a beat. They wanted her to meet their friends?
Is this some kind of cruel joke?

Jamie’s fingers curled around her wrist and pulled her towards the door of the bedroom. Jamie led the way out of the room, through the living room and out to the pouch.

We’re just… walking out the door?!

“We….” She stopped herself before she said anything else. Her heart raced. What would happen if they got caught?

“I told them we would meet them down the street.” Jamie said. “Come on,”

Ruth followed as Natasha and Jamie made their way to the side walk.

Ruth’s heart raced.
What if we get caught?
She wondered. Would her mother and father be doing a bed check?

They will kill me if they find out I’m not sleeping.

How would it affect their relationship with Grace and Ruth'?

“Does your mother let you out this late?” Ruth hadn’t realized she’d opened her mouth until she heard her own words.

“Sometimes.” Jamie said.

They made their way down the block where a car sat waiting for them.

Ruth felt like she was going to be sick. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, but she thought she might puke.
I’m not turning back.
She told herself.

She thought about the question she had been asked- didn’t she want to experience the English world?
Yes.

They made their way to the car. As they made their way closer the passenger side door opened. A girl jumped out and rushed.

“Jams.” The girl shrilled. She rushed over to Jamie and flung her arms around her.

“Melina.” Jamie hugged the girl back. “Heyy.” Ruth watched as two other doors opened. Two guys got out of the car.

Her heart skipped a beat. She stared at the guy who had gotten out of the back seat. She could feel the goose bumps rise to her skin. His eyes locked on hers. A shiver ran down her spine. He wasn’t like any boy she’d ever seen before.

He had blonde hair, that much she could tell in the darkness, and he wore a coat that hung tightly to him.