The Mistress of Black Grove Manor (72 page)

Would her life be ruined?

Ruth cleared her throat. "Um," She wasn't sure if she would get an answer here but she had to try. "What do we say if people ask about us not being around?"

"My deatt is sick." Joshua answered, his tone suggested it was a full blown lie. "I needed the help and your deatt offered to have the family help out."

Oh.
Okay, so that might be something people believed. That might be a way for Mary to make sure she didn't have to worry about her whole future crashing down around her.

Gott, please don’t let Mary suffer.
Ruth prayed silently.

But all she could do was hope he was listening, right?

I will trust in Got's plan.

By midday they pulled down a street with a row of houses. Ruth watched with wide eyes as they made their way down the street- until finally they turned into one.

The house was unlike anything Ruth had seen in real life before. It was huge! With yellow siding, and a large front porch. A woman stood there- she was too young to be their grandmother. Despite the fact that Ruth had never met her grandmother she knew that much.

As the truck came to a stop no one said a word. No one moved.

What are we supposed to do?
Ruth wondered. She turned to her mother, who gave her a soft nod, silently reassuring to her be patient.

Several seconds later her father’s door opened and he stepped out.

Ruth's mother opened her own door and slid out of the truck, Mary followed her.

Ruth sat there, watching her family make their way out up the drive. And she didn't move.

"What are you going to do?" She asked Joshua, trying to make time.

He turned to her. In the darkness she hadn't been able to see him well, but now in the midday light she took everything in- everything she had always seen. His bright green eyes, his perfect row of teeth when he flashed her a smile.

"I'll head up to Sarasota." He said. Despite the fact it wasn't winter there would still be others in the community.  She’d heard a lot about it.  It was close enough to them that some of their friends came up this way when the weather started to get cold.  The benefits of living close to Florida.

"I'll be back to pick ye up tomorrow. If that's what your da wants."

Ruth nodded, glad that she had some idea what was going on.

"Danka." She said as she gave him a soft smile. "For doing all of this." She didn't add what she really wanted to say, but she was sure he knew what she meant.

Joshua was risking his own future by helping them.

"Anytime." His voice was serious as his eyes locked on her.

Ruth slid out of the back seat and rushed to meet the rest of her family as they made their way up the front steps.  The heat from the sun warmed her skin the second she stepped out into it.

"Grace." Her father said, his voice strained.

The woman standing in front of them, Grace, looked us all up and down as she stepped forward.

"Richard."

Without a word of a warning her arms flung around Ruth's father.

He stiffened for a second, then relaxed, one arm wrapping tentatively around the woman. 

When their grandmother was shunned from the community she took one of her daughters.
Deatt wanted to stay behind with his Deatt.
Ruth remembered.

The two of them made their own life together, working in the furniture store and earning an honest living for themselves- enough to get by on at least.

Grace pulled away from her brother and looked him over. She turned to the woman standing beside him.

"Kathrine?" She shook her head, a wide smile spread over her lips. "I always knew it." She pulled Ruth's mother into a tight hug.

"It's... Nice to see you as well." Kathrine said.

Grace pulled away and turned her attention to Ruth and Mary.

"These must be the girls. It's..." She shook her head. Her voice broke when she spoke next. "I... I don't even know what to say." She let out a soft laugh. "Come on in, we've got a family reunion to commence."

No one said anything, but they all let Grace lead them into the house.

"This is the place Maemm bought when she left, after a couple years of saving of course."

"Deatt always wondered, did the money he give her..."

"It helped more than we will ever be able to tell you."

Ruth realized she didn't know much about what had happened. No one talked about it. It had taken a few years for Ruth to realize why she only had one grandmother that she saw, and when she'd tried to ask her mother about it her mother had just said it wasn't the time to talk about it.
I wonder if I will find out what happened.
Ruth thought. She didn't want to pry, but perhaps if her parents weren't willing too tell her she could ask Grace.
No.
She thought. That wouldn't be right.
If Maemm and Deatt don't want me to know there is a reason for it.
She thought.

They made their way through the house, down a hallway and to a closed door. Grace paused, her hand on the door knob. “You have to understand… she’s… she’s not the woman who raised you, Richard.”

“I know that.”

“Alright.”

The handle turned and the door opened.

Ruth watched her father enter the room. He crossed over to a large bed where a woman lay.

She was old, with white hair and wrinkles, but even despite the years of age it was easy to tell that she had the same blue eyes as Ruth’s father- as Ruth herself.

Ruth’s stomach turned. She wasn’t sure how she should act. What would she say? What was she supposed to do?

Her mother touched her shoulder.

“Stay out here with Mary.” She whispered.

Ruth nodded. That is what she would do.

Seconds later the door closed in front of her, and her and her sister were left with a woman they’d never met.
An Englisher.

“So,” The woman, Grace, cleared her throat. “You’re Richard and Kathrine’s daughters?” She sounded nervous.

“Jah,” Ruth’s cheeks flushed. “I mean-”

“Don’t worry.” Grace smiled, cutting her off before Ruth could correct herself. “I know what you mean. Come on, you must be hungry, let me get you something to eat.”

Ruth and Mary followed Grace into the kitchen. Ruth took everything in, her jaw dropping a little. She had never been in an English kitchen before, thought she had heard about some of the things they had in them. Grace pulled a tray out of the fridge with pasta in it.

“Mom!” Someone called as they heard the door open.

Ruth’s heart skipped a beat. Mom?
Grace has kids.
How old were they? What were they going to be like?

“In the kitchen!” Grace called, snapping Ruth back to reality.

Ruth heard footsteps make their way into the kitchen. She turned to see two girls, maybe a little bit older than her. The one had blonde hair and the same shade of eyes that Ruth had. She stepped forward.

“I’m Natasha.” She said with a smile.

“Ruth.” They shook hands.

“Jamie.” The other girl said. Ruth looked her up and down quickly. She had short black hair, and brown eyes hidden behind glasses. She smiled widely.  “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You as well.”

Grace stepped away from them, quickly getting all five of them plates, plus to extras for Ruth’s parents.

“I thought you girls could hang out for a little while.” Grace said. “You know, while the parents deal with some boring stuff.”

They nodded, all of them knowing that they didn’t really have a choice in the matter. Grace finished her meal quickly, and headed for the bedroom where Ruth’s parents were, taking them each a plate.
Since Grace was never shunned they should be able to accept the meal from her.
Ruth went over the rules mentally, just to have a little refresher.

The four girls were left on their own, all of them looking lost, confused, and beyond uncomfortable.
So these are my cousins.
Ruth thought. She’d never even wondered if she had any. Now here she was eating a meal with them.

“So,” she cleared her throat, trying to pretend she wasn’t uncomfortable, or wouldn’t have rather go hide in a bedroom alone. “Are you… in school?”

It was the best she could come up with. She knew Englishers went to school longer normally than they did, so it was a good bet.
Right?

“No.” They both said.

“So what do you guys do with your time?” Ruth felt like she was grasping at straws here, but she tried anyways.

“Nat spends all her time with her boyfriend.” Jamie said.

“No I don’t!” The other girl protested. “Anyways, we broke up.”

“What? You did?”

“Yes. He didn’t like that I was spending so much time away from him and I told him if he didn’t like it he could find a new girlfriend.” She sounded so pleased with herself as she spoke.

Ruth’s jaw dropped as she watched the two girls.

“Good, I didn’t like him anyways. He seemed off to me.”

“You’re right. There was something off about him. He was too… clingy.”

“So what now?”

Ruth watched both girls closely as she took a bite of her meal, trying to finish quickly.

Mary stood, holding her plate. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to do a little studying for a couple hours.” She let out a yawn as Ruth nodded to her, silently excusing her from the table.

“What do you mean? We’re over and done with. That’s what.”

“I know, but what about Nick. I thought he was into you.”

“Oh no.” The girl shook her head. She turned her attention to Ruth as Ruth stood, carried her plate over to the sink and rinsed it off.

“What about you, Ruth? Do you have a boyfriend?” One of them asked.

Ruth turned back to the table, she could feel her cheeks burning as she headed back to the seat she’d been sitting in.

“N-no.” She was sure to use the English words so she didn’t confuse them, or draw too much attention to herself.
Now, I just hope the conversation ends there and they go back to talking to each other.
It had been kind that they had tried to include her.

“Right, mom says dating was kinda different back when she grew up… away from the English world.” The one with blonde hair said.
Natasha.
Ruth reminded herself. “What’s it like?”

Ruth bit her lip.
How much detail do I go into?
She wondered. She didn’t want to say too much, more for fear of what they would think of her than anything else.
You shouldn’t be ashamed of your choices.
She reminded herself, but the truth is, a lot of Englishers judged Amish harshly based on what they had seen on TV or read about, and not all of that was true.

“It depends a lot on the community and the parents. For us…”

“Do your parents allow you to date?”

“They would, if there was someone I wanted to date.” Her parents were always more open to things than some of the other parents had been, but Ruth always thought part of that was because they had raised daughters who were well behaved and never had interest in the English world. It wasn’t like that for everyone.

Some of Ruth and Mary’s friends couldn’t wait to get out. Both Ruth and Mary loved their way of life. Neither of them showed any interest in Rumaschpring.

“So have you?”

Ruth shook her head.

She’d never met anyone she’d wanted to date. She knew when she was younger her mother always wanted her to court Joshua, but she didn’t seem him as any more than a friend, and when she had confided in Joshua what her mother had been trying to do he admitted that he felt the same for her as she did for him. After that conversation Ruth told her mother that, and her mother never mentioned it again, though Ruth was sure she still wanted them to get together at some point.

“Not even once?”

The words brought Ruth back to reality. Again. She shook her head.

Both girls stared at her with wide eyes.

"Wait," Natasha stared at Ruth with wide eyes. "So, you've... Like, never been out on a date?"

Ruth's cheeks flushed. "No." Even for an Amish girl this could be a source of embarrassment. "I mean," she quickly added then stopped, knowing what she had been about to say would not aid her. "I just... I've not met someone I'm interested in."

And that was true. It's not like she'd met anyone
she wanted
to court.

"Ohhhhh." Jamie looked like she totally understood. "Slim pickin's?"

Ruth opened her mouth, but honestly had no clue what to say.

"So," Natasha jumped in. "Mom doesn't talk about it that much, I mean being Amish. What's it like?"

"It..." What was she supposed to say? It was all she had ever known. It was... "It's what I've chosen." In truth, she knew she hadn't given it much thought. She didn't want to leave her family. She hadn't even wanted to take part in Rumschprringe. The English world was a sore subject in her family, and she hadn't want to worry her father with it.