The Girl He Left Behind (9 page)

“Are you sure?”

Eve saw concern—and love. She did not see condemnation. “Yes, I'm sure.”

Anna went back to her seat across from Eve. Eve blew her nose in the tissues her mother had handed her, took another long breath, pushed her plate—with her dinner still half-uneaten—away and said, “I'll answer your question first. Yes. Bill knows.”

“About Adam? Or about the twins?”

“Both.”

“What about Adam? Does
he
know about the twins?”

“No. And he can't.”

“But—”

“I know, Mom. It doesn't seem right, does it? But I promised Bill I'd never tell Adam. That was the deal we made when he offered to marry me.”

“But I don't understand. What happened? Why didn't you tell Adam? Did you think he
wouldn't
marry you?”

“I didn't know I was pregnant until after he'd been gone awhile.” Eve sighed again, then decided to begin at the beginning. She told her mother everything then, how she had fallen in love with Adam their senior year, how she'd kept their relationship a secret from everyone, how Adam had wanted her to go away with him the night before their graduation ceremony, how she was going to until Anna and Joe had given her the locket and said the things they'd said, how she just couldn't do it after that—couldn't break their hearts. She told Anna how she'd cried and cried, then how she'd realized she was pregnant and how she'd panicked and tried to reach Adam, but how he never answered his cell phone.

“I really panicked then,” Eve said. “I didn't know where he was. I had no way of getting in touch with him.”

“But what about his family? Why didn't you call his mother?”

“How could I? They didn't know me.”

“So what? All you had to do was say you were a friend.” Anna frowned. “I mean, if you
loved
Adam...”

“I thought...I thought you and Daddy would be...” She stopped. “I—I guess I...wasn't...brave enough.” That was the truth of it. That was
exactly
why she hadn't called his mother. She'd been a coward all the way around. Too afraid to tell her parents about Adam. Too afraid to face the consequences of what she'd done. Too afraid to take a chance on Adam and how he'd react to having to abandon his dreams. Instead, she'd grabbed the lifeline Bill had offered. The safe route.

All these years.

All these years she'd been lying to herself.

Telling herself she'd done the only thing she could do. Telling herself she'd protected her children and her parents. Telling herself she'd been sensible and practical, that she'd made a mature decision by thinking of others instead of herself.

Instead, she'd simply been a coward.

She'd cheated Adam, she'd cheated Bill and she'd cheated her children.
Adam's children
.

All these thoughts and more tumbled in her mind. Eve stared at her mother. What was her mother thinking? Was she as ashamed of Eve as Eve was herself?

“Oh, Eve,” her mother finally said. The sadness on her face made Eve want to weep again.

Eve looked away. What was there to say? She'd messed up her life. She'd messed up a lot of lives.

“So what does Bill say now that Adam's come back?”

“He's upset. He doesn't want me to see him.”

“He's afraid you'll tell him about Nathan and Natalie.”

“Yes.”

Again, silence reigned for long seconds. Then Anna sighed. “Tell me something, Eve. Do you
want
to see Adam?”

“Yes.”

“And he wants to see you.”

“I think so. Yes.”

“I think so, too. I think he acts like a man in love.”

“I—I haven't heard from him since Wednesday.” She didn't add how many times she'd looked at her phone and willed it to ring, then prayed that it wouldn't. Or how many times she'd wondered what she'd do if it
did
ring. And what she'd do if it didn't.

“Well, he said he had a lot of things to take care of in Nashville,” her mother pointed out. “I'm sure he'll call.”

Eve grimaced. “Even if he does, wouldn't it be better for everybody concerned if I don't see him again? I mean, what's the point? There's no future for us.”

“Are you sure? If you love each other...”

“I don't know that he loves me. I know he
wants
me, but maybe that's just to prove something to himself.”

Her mother sat thinking, then sighed. “How will you know unless you keep seeing him?”

Eve nodded. That was the crux of the problem, wasn't it? She was damned if she did and damned if she didn't. “What do you think I should do, Mom?”

“Oh, honey, I can't make that decision for you. No one can.”

Eve knew that. She just didn't want to choose wrong again. “I don't have a great track record.”

Her mother gave her a sad smile. “Important decisions aren't easy for anyone. Just know this. Whatever you decide to do, I'll support you one hundred percent.”

“Even if my decision disrupts everyone's life? Including yours?”

“Even then.”

Long after her mother had gone home, Eve sat thinking. It was after midnight when she finally headed for bed. She still wasn't sure what she'd do when she heard from Adam again. But at least now that her mother knew the truth, Eve didn't feel quite so alone.

Chapter Nine

A
dam thought about calling Eve on Saturday to let her know he would be heading back to Crandall Lake on Monday. But he decided against it. Might be wise to cool it a bit. She'd made it pretty clear she didn't think seeing him again was a good idea. And if not for her mother's invitation to lunch on Wednesday, he wasn't sure he
would
have seen Eve again. Better to wait until they could meet face-to-face.

But he missed her. Being with Eve again had somehow erased all the years she had been gone from his life. He wondered if she realized the main reason he'd decided to spend the rest of the summer in Crandall Lake had a lot more to do with her than with his mother. Because he could have brought his mother back to Nashville. He'd actually broached the subject with her the night before he'd left, and she'd said she was willing to think about it.

Eve, though, was a different story. Adam knew, just from the little bit of time he'd been able to see her in the past few weeks, that he wanted to explore the possibility of an ongoing relationship. And it would be impossible to do that if he didn't stay in Crandall Lake. It wasn't as if Eve was free to come to Nashville or LA with him.

Her children were the big question mark.

He wished he'd had a chance to meet them before they'd left for California with their father. Once he was able to spend some time with them, he might be better able to predict whether they would be a giant stumbling block to a relationship with their mother or whether it might be possible to win them over. He'd already won Eve's mother over, or at least he thought he had.

So after considering everything, he didn't call her. He would simply go back to Crandall Lake and show up on her doorstep when he arrived. That way, the advantage would be his. Even if she
had
come to the conclusion it would be better not to see him again, she would have a hard time sending him away.

* * *

The twins texted Eve and sent pictures several times every day, and the three of them talked using Skype or FaceTime every night. Gradually, even though she missed them desperately, she got used to the idea of them being in California.

Because Bill had been right. They were having a wonderful time, and being out there with Bill and Melissa and little Will was good for them. Much better than spending the summer in Crandall Lake, where Eve would have been scrambling to find things for them to do while she worked.

Sitting at her desk at the paper on Monday, after they'd been gone five days, she chuckled as she remembered the previous night's phone call. The twins had spent the day at Universal Studios and were excitedly talking over each other to tell her about it.

“So you had a great time,” she said when she could get a word in edgewise.

“The best part was the Jurassic Park ride! It was outstanding, Mom!” Nathan said.

“When are you going to learn a new word?” Natalie said. Disdain dripped from her voice.

Eve couldn't help laughing. Natalie had recently begun to act as if she were years older than her brother instead of just ten minutes. She tended to roll her eyes when he exaggerated or got too excited. She gave a lot of long-suffering sighs. And yet there were times when Nathan adopted the role of protector and Natalie actually allowed him to.

They were growing up, Eve reflected. Her heart ached as she thought about everything Adam had missed over the years. And if he ever
did
find out the truth about them, would he understand? Or would he hate her?

It's crazy to even consider seeing him again. The secret you kept from him is too huge for him to ever forgive you. He
will
hate you, and then what? You'll be worse off than you were to begin with. And what if he decides to sue for visitation rights? Or even partial custody of the twins? Dear God. He wouldn't do that, would he?

Oh, why had he come back? Maybe her life had been boring, but at least it had been peaceful. The twins had been safe. Eve's secret had been safe.

Now nothing was safe.

And yet, despite all the danger, despite her fear of what might happen, despite everything, she couldn't just walk away.

She wanted to see him again.

* * *

Eve couldn't face another evening at home alone. When she was alone, she tended to think too much. So when she finished the work she had to do at the office, she decided to drive to the San Marcos Outlets and do some shopping. If she was going to fly out to LA for a weekend, she needed some new clothes anyway.

She spent a pleasurable three hours browsing through Ann Taylor Factory Store, Banana Republic, Chico's and Kate Spade. She ended up with a new bikini and cover-up, a gorgeous print sundress, a couple of casual shirts and shorts, a pale blue summer sweater and a pair of metallic sandals. She ate a hot dog for her dinner and ended the evening at Tory Burch. She hadn't intended to buy anything there, just salivate over the beautiful designs, but saw a simply irresistible navy-and-white maxi dress that she could actually afford. Deciding she deserved to indulge herself a little, she bought it before she could talk herself out of it. The dress simply screamed California.

Happy as only a woman can be after a successful shopping trip and lots of pretty new clothes to wear, she arrived home at nine to see a familiar red Porsche sitting in front of her house. Her heart skidded, and her throat went dry.

Adam was back.

She pulled into the driveway and pressed the garage door opener, then pulled into the garage. By the time she got out of the car and retrieved her packages from the back, he had walked up behind her.

“Somebody's been shopping,” he said.

Telling herself to be cool, she said, “Brilliant deduction, Sherlock.”

He grinned. “Let me help you carry some of that.”

For one second, she thought about refusing, then handed him the heaviest bags. Why refuse? She wanted him to come inside. No sense pretending otherwise.

She snapped on lights as they entered the house through the utility room. Glad she'd tidied over the weekend, she led the way into the kitchen, dropping her purse and bags on the kitchen table. He followed suit. Thinking fast, Eve headed straight to the fridge. “Would you like a beer? Or something else to drink?”

“A beer sounds good.” He leaned against the countertop next to the sink. She couldn't help but notice how his jeans molded to his legs.

She took a bottle of Dos Equis out of the fridge and handed it to him. “This okay?”

His eyes met hers. “More than okay.”

“There's an opener in the top drawer behind you.” She reached for the half-full bottle of pinot grigio she kept chilled, then changed her mind and took out a can of Diet Coke instead. Maybe she'd best keep her wits about her tonight. She seemed to lose them anytime she was in proximity to Adam. “When did you get back?” she said as she took a glass out of the cupboard, added some ice, then poured in the contents of the can.

“This afternoon.”

After taking a long swallow, she put her glass on the counter. “I'll just take my packages into the bedroom. Have a seat. I'll be right back.”

Thankfully, he didn't suggest helping. Good thing, because the last place she wanted him was her bedroom. Not with
her
fast-disappearing willpower. After depositing the bags on her bed, she rejoined him in the kitchen. He was already seated at the table.

“You hungry?” she asked. “I've got some chips and salsa.”

He shook his head. “I grabbed a burger earlier.”

“So how did things go in Nashville?”

“Overall, pretty good. My bandmates were ecstatic to get some time off.”

Every time he smiled at her, her heart squeezed. Why did he have to be so gorgeous? Not to mention sexy. And why did that smile of his constantly remind her how very careful she had to be to navigate these tricky waters?

“What about you?” he said, still smiling. “Do you have any vacation time coming?”

The question so startled her, she stammered when she answered. “Wh-why do you ask?”

“Because I was thinking maybe you'd like to go to Austin with me. Spend a few days. I need to check out the studio we're gonna be using, and I'd kind of like to check out the Sixth Street scene, too. And since your kids are gone and you're free...” He let the sentence drift off as he watched her reaction.

Eve drank some of her Diet Coke to give her time to think. Now her heart was going way too fast. Go to Austin with him? Even the thought of a few days away, just the two of them, was enough to make her feel weak in the knees. Good thing she was sitting down. “I, um, I don't know.”

His smile faded, but his eyes held hers intently. “What don't you know, Eve?”

She took a deep breath. Told herself not to react like a child.
Be honest with him.
“I'm not sure it's a good idea for us to see each other anymore, Adam.”

“You're not sure.”

“No.”

“You want to, though.”

“Yes.”
God help me, I do.

“What are you afraid of?”

If only she could tell him. She sighed. “The truth?”

“Of course, the truth.”

“I'm afraid I'll just get hurt.”
Again.

His eyes pinned hers. “Because I'm the kind of guy who hurts women?”

“That's not what I meant.”

“What
did
you mean?”

“You know, Adam, we've already covered this ground. Your life is not here. Mine is. That spells trouble.”

“My life doesn't
have
to be somewhere else, Eve.”

He wasn't going to make this easy for her, was he?

“Look, Eve,” he continued, “I just want to spend time with you while I'm here. I understand you're not sure. Hell, I'm not, either. We're just getting reacquainted, so it's too soon to know if this is going anywhere. But in the meantime, can't we be friends?”

“Friends,” she said weakly. Friends with him? Was that even possible?

“How about this? We won't do anything you don't want to do. If our relationship progresses past simple friendship, it'll be because you want it to. Because you made the first move.”

Dear Lord. What should she do? Everything in her was telling her even this much was a bad idea, but it was so tempting to say yes. She hadn't felt anything like this in such a long time. To go away with him, to spend a few days alone with him in a city where no one knew her, it was as if he were offering her the moon.

“It'll be fun. You'll relax and have a good time, I promise.” When she still hesitated, he added, “You can trust me.”

“Can I?”
Don't do it. It's a very bad idea. Tell him no. Tell him to go away.
“O-okay, I'll go.”

He grinned. “Great! Let's go this weekend. Monday's the fourth, so that'll work out perfectly. If you take Friday off, we can leave Thursday when you're finished with work.”

Much later, after he'd gone and Eve had put away all her new clothes and was getting ready for bed, she knew she could pretty much guarantee she'd be sorry she'd said yes to him. But right then, all she could think was how much she was looking forward to the weekend.

And all the possibilities it held.

* * *

On Wednesday, after visiting his mother, Adam and Austin had a meeting to discuss the contract Adam's agent had negotiated with the television network wanting him to star in his own series. Afterward, Austin said, “I've heard some rumors that Bethany may stir up some trouble for you.”

Adam frowned. “How?”

“Word is she hired some private dick to do some digging.”

“What!”

“Yeah, I know.”

“What sort of digging?”

“Into your past, I guess. I don't know. She's pissed.”

Adam sighed heavily. “I should have fired her.”

“Then, she'd be even more pissed.” Austin stared at him. “What you should have done was not get involved with her in the first place.”

“I know. You don't have to rub it in.”

“I just hope you've learned your lesson.”

Adam nodded tiredly. “So what do you think I should do about this PI she's hired?”

“I don't think there's anything you
can
do. Let's see what happens. There's nothing for her to find that could be damaging, is there? You don't have a bunch of baby mamas hidden away, do you?”

“No! Of course not.”

“No bodies buried in the backyard or anything.”

Adam snorted with disbelief. “No.”

“And you don't do drugs?”

“You know I don't.”

“And you haven't plagiarized anyone else's music.”

“I hope not.”

“Okay, then...nothing to worry about.”

Maybe there wasn't, but Adam didn't like any part of this. He decided he would be especially careful about the weekend. Although he didn't want to alarm Eve or give her any reason to back out of going to Austin with him, he knew he'd have to warn her about their keeping a low profile, though.

As it turned out, Eve was the one who introduced the subject. Adam called her on Wednesday, and before he could even suggest exercising caution, she said, “I was thinking, maybe it would be better for us to meet somewhere instead of you coming here and picking me up tomorrow night. My neighbors can be nosy.”

“Good idea,” he said. “No sense giving the gossips something to talk about.”

“I'll drive over to the mall and park in the garage next to Dillard's. It'll be safe to leave my car there a few days.”

“Will six o'clock work for you?”

“Perfect.”

* * *

Eve didn't even have to call Adam when she arrived at the parking garage. She saw the red Porsche in the surface lot, and when she pulled into the garage, he was right behind her. She drove up to the second level where there was a crosswalk to the stores and parked where there were several empty spaces. By the time she'd cut her ignition and gotten out of the car, he was already opening the back of her Prius and taking out her suitcase. She locked the car and a few minutes later, they were on their way.