The Girl He Left Behind (4 page)

“Did you always write your own music?” the young man continued.

“Yeah, I did. Of course, the early attempts weren't very good. I thought everything needed to rhyme and you can't imagine the goofy stuff I came up with. I remember one song where I used
dastard
and
bastard
and
mustard
!”

The entire room burst into laughter. Even Eve had to laugh, although her insides were still trembling with nerves.

“I'd love to hear that one,” the young man said when the room quieted down.

“Oh, no,” Adam said. “I wouldn't do that to anybody. That song was pretty awful.”

A middle-aged woman that Eve didn't recognize called out, “We're all proud of you, Adam. One of our own making it big.”

“Thank you, ma'am,” he said. “I've been lucky.”

“It ain't luck, son,” an older man Eve knew by the name of Joshua said. “It's pure grit and determination.”

“And talent!” said Marcy Winters, the choir director of St. Nicholas Catholic Church, where Eve was a member.

Adam answered a few more questions, allowed a couple dozen more pictures to be taken, then began to pack up his guitar while people milled around him. Finally he managed to extricate himself, and he headed in Eve's direction. Eve knew all eyes in the room were on them as he reached her side and smiled down at her.

“Would you like to go have coffee with me or something?” he asked quietly.

What I want is to run out of here as fast as my legs can carry me and go home and hide.
“Sure,” she said, hoping she looked calmer than she felt. “Sounds good.”

A few minutes later, outside in the balmy night air, she suggested they walk over to Dinah's Diner on the town square.

“Dinah's Diner is a new one on me,” Adam said.

“It only opened about three years ago. Dinah Campbell—you may have known her as Dinah Bloom—took over the old Burger Shack space.”

“I remember that place.”

Eve nodded. She knew he would. Burger Shack had been the hangout of choice for teenagers when they were in school. Not that Adam and Eve had ever gone there. No way they could have kept their relationship secret if they had.

Of course, Adam hadn't been the one who'd wanted to keep it secret. That was all her doing. She hadn't wanted to tell him, but she'd been forced to, that her parents would never permit her to see him.

“Do you always do everything your parents tell you to do?” he'd asked.

It had embarrassed her to admit it, but she'd been honest and said, “Yes, I do.”

“Yet you're lying to them now,” had been his rejoinder, “so you don't always do what they say, do you?”

She still remembered the way he'd looked at her when he'd said it. Even then, as inexperienced and naive as she was, she'd known it was going to be very hard to ever say no to him.

Dinah's was only about half-full when they got there, but the low buzz when they entered the place told Eve every single person there knew exactly who Adam was and, before long, they'd know who she was, too, if they didn't already.

One of the booths that lined the windows facing the street was empty and Adam suggested they take it. As the waitress—a cute teenager named Liz whom Eve knew from church—approached, he said, “I'm starving, so I'm gonna order food. How 'bout you?”

Eve had only picked at the chicken salad she'd had for dinner. “I could eat a cheeseburger. They're really good here.”

“Let's go for it,” he said, smiling.

That dimple of his would be her undoing. Or maybe she was already undone. After all, she was here with him, wasn't she?

They both ordered the cheeseburgers and a basket of rosemary fries to share. “Rosemary fries?” he said in mock disbelief.

“Just because we're a small town doesn't mean we're hicks,” Eve said, grinning.

“They're really good,” the waitress, who was obviously starstruck, said.

Once she was gone, he leaned back and smiled at Eve. “You've grown into a beautiful woman, Eve,” he said softly.

Eve knew she was blushing. She could feel the heat warming her cheeks. “Thank you.” She ducked her head. “You're not so bad yourself.”

He made a face. “Yeah, sexiest man alive. Did you hear?”

“I did.”

He shook his head. “What bull.”

“I don't think it is.”

“Really? You think I'm sexy?” He struck a pose. “I could do that old Rod Stewart song.”

But she didn't rise to the bait. Instead, she said quietly, “I always did.”

The words seemed to float between them in air that was suddenly charged with emotions struggling to surface. For a long moment, neither of them spoke, then both spoke at the same time.

“Eve, why didn't you—?”

“Adam, I'm sorry I—”

They stopped, and he said, “You go first.”

Eve took a deep breath. “I just wanted you to know I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye.”

His eyes locked with hers. They were a shade of gray that always made her think of rainy streets. “I wasn't surprised you didn't show up that night.”

Because she didn't know what to say to that statement, she said nothing. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied their waitress coming with their food anyway, so it was better to stay quiet, at least for now.

As if he knew they'd neared territory better left alone, he began to eat, and for a while, they didn't talk at all. Then someone fed the jukebox and “Love Me Tender” began to play.

“One of my all-time favorite songs,” Adam said between bites.

“Mine, too,” Eve said. Their eyes once again met. The expression in his made her heart trip. She couldn't believe he still had the power to make her feel this way. It was almost as if twelve years had gone up in smoke. Or had never been.

Just as Adam opened his mouth to say something, Eve sensed someone standing nearby. She looked up and saw Joe Ferguson, the mayor of Crandall Lake.

“Just thought I'd stop by and say hello,” Ferguson said. “I've been hoping I'd have the chance to welcome one of our most famous sons back to town.” He stuck out his hand. “Joe Ferguson, mayor of our fair city.”

Adam wiped his hand on his napkin and shook Ferguson's. “Nice to meet you.”

“I hear you were over at the shelter tonight, entertaining the troops,” Ferguson said. His florid face looked even redder under the bright lights of the diner.

“Yes, I stopped by.”

“I was hopin' maybe I could persuade you to come to the Rotary Club meetin' on Tuesday, give us a little concert there.”

“Um, I'm not sure I can. I'll have to see how my mother's doing,” Adam hedged.

Eve couldn't stand Joe Ferguson. He was one of those politicians who'd been in office way too long but seemed impossible to unseat. He had a vastly inflated opinion of himself and seemed oblivious to the fact a lot of people didn't share that view.

“Sure, I understand. Well, you can let me know on Monday. And if Tuesday doesn't work out, we can find another date.”

All this time Ferguson had acted as if Eve wasn't there, not that she minded. But Adam noticed, for he said, “I don't know if you've met Eve Cermak—”

“Eve Kelly,” Eve corrected. “And Mayor Ferguson and I know each other from church.”

“Yeah, of course,” Ferguson said. “I see you at St. Nick's all the time.”

Now Eve noticed someone else approaching their table. She looked at Adam, telegraphing her wish to leave, and it worked, for he immediately said, “You know, we really need to get going. I'm planning on going back to the hospital tonight and it's getting late.”

“Oh, sure. No problem,” Ferguson said. He fished in his shirt pocket and pulled out a card. “My cell number is on that. You can call me about Tuesday night either tomorrow or Monday. Try to come, okay? All the guys are wantin' to meet you.”

“Is it just me or is he kind of obnoxious?” Adam said after they'd made their escape.

“He's definitely obnoxious,” Eve said, laughing. “I couldn't wait to get away from him.”

They were outside on the sidewalk now. Adam looked around. “Where's your car?”

“I walked to the shelter.”

“Really? Where do you live?”

“Over on Maple Avenue, just off Center Street. It's not far.”

“It's far enough. I'll walk you home.”

“You don't have to do that.”

“Eve, it's nine o'clock. It's dark. I'm not letting you walk by yourself.”

“It's perfectly safe. I walk at night all the time. You've been living in the big city too long, Adam. You've forgotten what small-town life is like.”

“I don't care. I'm still walking you home.”

“But you said you have to go back to the hospital.”

“I lied. I just wanted to get away from your esteemed mayor.”

“He's not
my
esteemed mayor. I haven't voted for him in either of the past two elections.”

“Whatever. I don't have to go to the hospital, and I
am
walking you home.”

Because it was obvious nothing she could say was going to change his mind, and she didn't want to argue with him, Eve shrugged and said, “Okay, fine.” But down deep, she knew these weren't the only reasons she was letting him have his way.

Whether it was wise or not, she wasn't ready to say goodbye.

Chapter Four

W
hen Adam offered his arm, Eve only hesitated a moment before taking it. It felt good to walk together, especially as he matched his strides to hers. As they walked along, the years melted away, and for those few minutes, being with him felt exactly right.

The soft night air surrounded them, and everywhere there were night sounds: crickets chirping, doves cooing and, in the distance, tires humming along the nearby highway. And somewhere not far away the lilting notes of a violin drifted toward them. Eve could smell the sweet fragrance of night jasmine and roses. It was a perfect night.

It didn't take long to reach her house. For a moment, they stood awkwardly on the sidewalk. Quickly, before she could change her mind, she said, “Would you like to stay and talk awhile?”

He smiled. “I'd like that very much.”

So they climbed the steps to the porch, and she invited him to sit on the swing. “I have some freshly made lemonade. Can I tempt you with a glass?”

“Sounds great.”

Why had she invited him to stay? she asked herself as she walked indoors. Wouldn't it have been better to simply thank him and say good-night?

But you didn't want to say good-night, did you?

No, she hadn't. She'd finally relaxed enough to enjoy being in his company, and she was curious about him. There were all kinds of things she wanted to ask him, and in the privacy of her porch, with no prying eyes to watch them, she could. She might never again have this opportunity, so she'd taken it.

She put the glasses of lemonade on a small tray and added a plate of peanut-butter cookies, about the only kind she could make that actually turned out well. She'd baked them thinking the twins would be home tonight, and since they weren't, she might as well put them to good use. Especially since, if Mayor Ferguson hadn't interrupted them, she would have recommended the really excellent banana-cream pie at Dinah's.

When she rejoined Adam on the porch, he smiled. “Peanut-butter cookies! I haven't had homemade ones since I was a kid.”

“I know. They remind me of being a kid, too.” Eve sat next to him on the swing. “So I read that your band is starting a big autumn tour and your first date will be in Austin in September.”

“That's the plan.”

“I was actually thinking of trying to get tickets.”

“Were you? I'll give you passes if you want to come.”

“Oh, that would be great. Thank you.” She hesitated, then added, “I'm really proud of you, Adam. You've done so well.”

“Thanks. There've been some rough patches, but overall, I'm happy with the way things have gone. And what about you? Did you go to college like you planned?”

“Yes, but not exactly the way I'd planned. I could only go part-time because I had the twins, so it took me about six years to finish.”

“Twins? I didn't know that.”

“Yes, a boy and a girl. Natalie and Nathan.” Even saying their names to him caused her heart to flutter alarmingly.

“How old are they?”

“Um, they're eleven.”

He looked over at her, and she wondered what he was thinking.

“You married that guy who was always hanging around your family's house, didn't you? That friend of your family's.”

“Bill Kelly. Our parents were best friends.”

“I always thought he was lookin' to score with you.”

Eve had sensed the same thing, even though Bill had never said anything until after Adam was gone. And even then, he probably would have bided his time, thinking she was too young, but she was such a mess and so vulnerable, he had seen his chance and he'd taken it.

“You married him almost right away,” Adam said.

“Not right away. It was...about three months later.” She had nothing to feel guilty about. After all, Adam was the one who had left. Adam was the one who had never returned her calls.

“Did you love him?”

“That...that's not a fair question.”

“I think it's fair. I loved you, Eve. I thought you loved me. We were going away together. And three months later you marry someone else? Don't you think you owe me an explanation?”

I don't owe you anything.

“You never called me.” She couldn't keep the bitterness out of her voice.

“You were the one who didn't show up that night.”

“I didn't think you'd go without me!” she cried. “And I did try to call you. I tried several times, but the number just rang and rang. And I didn't know how else to get in touch with you.”

He put his now-empty glass down on the little table next to the swing and stared at her. “You tried to call me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I—” She stopped. What could she say? It was too late to say anything.

“Why, Eve? Were you sorry? What?”

“I—I just wanted to talk to you.”

“When did you call?”

“What does it matter?” She could feel tears welling. Dammit. She would not cry. She wouldn't!

“It matters 'cause I didn't get any calls.”

“Well, I called. Not right away.”

“When?” he pressed.

“I don't know exactly!” But she
did
know exactly. She remembered the day almost to the hour. “It...it was about three or four weeks later.”

“That explains it.”

“Explains what?”

“I no longer had my cell phone. I ran out of money and had to give up the phone. Couldn't afford it. It was a couple of weeks before I could get another one.”

“But the number
rang
!”

“It just sounded as if it was ringing. You were calling a dead line.”

“I see.” She thought about the misery she'd felt then, when he'd never answered his phone. The heartache and then the panic.

“You never answered my question.”

“What question?”

“Were you sorry? Is that why you were calling me?”

Eve sighed deeply. “It really doesn't matter now, Adam.” She thought he was going to keep pushing her to answer him, but he didn't. Instead, all the fight seemed to leave him and he slumped back and closed his eyes.

Eve felt tears forming again. Oh, she hated how she cried so easily.
Don't let yourself feel sorry for him. He has a wonderful life, everything he ever dreamed of. And you? You have the twins. Don't forget that.

After a long moment of quiet, he opened his eyes and said, “Were you happy, Eve?”

“Happy enough, I guess.”

“But you didn't stay together.”

“No. We divorced four years ago.”

“And you have two children.”

“Yes.”

“Where are they? Don't they live with you?”

“Half the time they do. Bill and I share custody and they're with him until tomorrow night. What about you? You ever think about marriage? Kids?”

“I think about it,” he said, “but there's never been anyone I wanted to marry.” He didn't say
except you.

They fell into another awkward silence, and Eve decided it was time to steer the conversation into a less sensitive area. Besides, there were lots of things she was curious about. “Tell me about your mom. How's she doing?”

“She's actually doing great. She'll be moving to rehab on Monday.”

“I'm glad. I know you've been worried.”

For the next hour or so he told her all about his life: his brothers, his career, his plans for the future. And she told him about her family, her parents—Eve's dad had died a few months after she and Bill divorced—her career, her doubts and her fears. As they talked, he interjected comments, and many times, he made her laugh. Eve realized he'd always had the ability to make her laugh. She missed it.

Finally, she realized how late it was. “It's nearly midnight, Adam,” she said. “And I'm the lector at nine o'clock Mass tomorrow. I have to get to bed.”

He immediately got up. “I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was so late.”

“It's okay. I loved talking to you. It...it's been great seeing you again.” She stood, too.

They stood there facing each other, and it seemed like the most natural thing in the world for him to lean forward to kiss her good-night. It was probably meant to be a light touching of lips against lips, and it even began that way, but the moment their lips met, Eve felt a charge all the way down to her toes. She knew he felt it, too, because his hands, which had been placed lightly on her shoulders, tightened, and he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss.

When his tongue slipped into her mouth, she wound her arms around his neck and all the longing and pain and love that had been suppressed and denied for twelve long years burst forth into a desire so intense, Eve couldn't have controlled it even if she'd wanted to.

And she didn't want to. What she wanted was more. What she wanted was for him to never stop kissing her. She forgot where she was, where
they
were. She forgot that anyone passing by could see them against the lit windows. She forgot everything but this man and this moment.

When they finally broke apart, they were both breathing hard.

“Eve...” His voice was ragged.

Oh, my God.
“I—I...”
What did I do?
She stared at him. Swallowed. Her heart was still going like a trip-hammer. “I—I have to go in.” She reached for door handle.

“Eve, wait.”

But she evaded his arm, opened the door and without another word, closed it behind her. She was shaking, appalled with the way she'd lost control of herself, appalled with the way she'd acted.

What was she going to do now?

And what was
he
going to do?

Would he think the way she'd acted tonight meant they could just pick up where they'd left off twelve years ago?

These questions whirled in her brain as she berated herself for being so weak. But by the time she heard him leave and realized she'd left their glasses and the empty plate outside and retrieved them, she had calmed down and come to a decision.

It didn't matter
what
he thought or what had happened tonight. From now on, she was going to have to be stronger than she'd ever been, because if Adam was wrong for her all those years ago, if a relationship with him was impossible then, it was unthinkable now.

* * *

Eve had a hard time falling asleep. Although she kept telling herself the time she'd spent with Adam that evening meant nothing—would certainly
lead
to nothing—it didn't seem to make any difference. She couldn't stop thinking about him: how he'd looked, what he'd said, what he
hadn't
said, and especially the kiss he'd given her just before leaving. How could such a kiss—starting as nothing more than a feathery touch—have affected her so strongly, and become so passionate so quickly? Even thinking about it brought on butterflies.

That she shouldn't see him again was a given. No matter how she felt about him or he might feel about her, their history alone made seeing him too dangerous. The phrase “playing with fire” was made for this situation, because that was exactly what she would be doing.

She should never have gone to the shelter. The fact she hadn't known he'd be there wasn't an excuse. She'd known he was in town, so she should have avoided any unknown situation. Put her head down and never taken any chance she'd bump into him. It had been stupid to give anyone here any reason to ever connect the two of them. Because if anyone ever put two and two together, ever found out the truth...

Her heart thumped painfully.

The truth
.

In her case, it wouldn't set her free. It would only cause heartache and turmoil. For so many people...

Why did I ask him to stay? Why didn't I just thank him for walking me home and say good-night? I knew I shouldn't spend time with him, yet I did it anyway. Oh, God. Nothing has changed. I still can't resist him. All my good sense flies out the window when he's around. Then I do crazy things.

These thoughts and more tumbled over and over in her mind, keeping her awake long into the night. As a result, she only got about four hours of sleep, and even a hot shower and strong cup of coffee wasn't enough to make her feel as fresh as she needed to be the following morning. She tried, though. She put on her favorite sleeveless dress—red linen and a matching red headband—and made sure her makeup was flawless. After all, even a sinking ship wanted to look good going down, she thought wryly as she gave herself one last once-over in the mirror.

Normally, Eve enjoyed serving as a lector at Mass on Sundays. But because of her turbulent night and lack of sleep, she had a hard time concentrating on the readings and knew she wasn't at her best. Still, somehow she got through the service without making any glaring mistakes. She was doubly glad, because she knew her mother had attended the service. She'd seen Anna going to communion. So she wasn't surprised to spy her mother standing at the back of the church after Mass. She cringed, though, when she saw the woman standing next to her.

Alice Fogarty's eyes were alight as Eve approached the two women, and Eve knew she was in for a grilling about Adam. Sure enough, the first words out of Alice's mouth were, “Well, here's your dark-horse daughter now, Anna. I can't believe she never told you she was such good friends with Adam Crenshaw!”

Eve's heart sank. It was going to be even worse than she'd imagined. Pasting a smile on her face, she said levelly, “I'd hardly call us good friends, Alice.” Turning her gaze to her mother, she leaned in for a hug. “We were classmates, Mom,” she said as they drew apart.

“Well, I didn't see him singling out any
other
classmates last night,” Alice said, “and if I'm not mistaken, Todd Winsen was also in your class.”