The End of the Rainbow (17 page)

The phone rang and they continued to talk as the receptionist politely answered, “Good afternoon, Ashe’ Hair Studio, how can I help you? Sure, hold on please. Khalil you have a call.” He walked over to the phone and said, “This is Khalil, how can I help you?” he listened to the voice on the other end and responded

“Craig, don’t bullshit me.” His face went from stern and tight, to soft and compassionate, “Oh my God. Where is he? O.K., I’m on my way… yeah bye.” He slammed down the phone, ran to his station, grabbed his keys, and headed towards the door.

“What’s up, what happened?” Spencer asked.

“Tyrin’s in the hospital,” he responded with a look of fear.

“What? What do you mean, what the hell happened?” Spencer continued.

“Does it matter? I hope his ass is on life support,” Kerrion said as he put his shoes back in the box without looking up.

“I have to go.”

“Pull the plug K. Get your insurance money boo-boo,” Kerrion continued.

“Wait for me.” Spencer said.

“No, I need to go alone,” He expressed as he headed out the door.

“Khalil wait, shit.” Spencer raced out and followed him down the street to his car. “Let me drive you, you’re in no condition to do this on your own. You have too much going on right now,” he begged.

“Spencer. I know you care, but please let me do this by myself. I am begging you. I can’t have you or anyone else around me right now. I don’t know what I might say or do. Please understand and don’t take it personal. It’s not you. I swear it isn’t. But I need to do this alone. I will call you and let you know exactly what happened when I find more out. I promise. I love you man, I really do. But shit is really crazy for me right now. By the way, I apologize for snapping at you earlier.”

“No problem, just make sure you call me.”

“Will do” He gave Spencer a hug, got into his car and began his journey to find out what happened to the man that didn’t deserve anything from him.

*****

Khalil sped through traffic in a hysteric frenzy and the feelings of guilt weighed heavy on his entire being. So many thoughts ran through his mind, causing his heartbeat to accelerate, and breathing to change. All he could collect from the phone call was that Tyrin tried to kill himself. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was the aftermath of all that is going on.

Feelings of guilt suffocated him because in the midst of this entire ordeal he never once stopped to hear Tyrin’s side of the story. Maybe it was something that could have been avoided. Maybe there was something he was lacking, that the other person was able to provide. He should have heard what Tyrin had to say, instead of handling it the way he did. His mother always told him that there are three sides to every story, and one side is always the truth. If only he hadn’t planned the dinner party, they could have dealt with this on their own, instead of airing their dirty laundry amongst friends.

Each red light caused him to grow more anxious, and as he tailgated every car driving under fifty miles an hour on the surface street he thought more and more about his life without Tyrin. Even when they had their worst arguments, he never wanted to be without him. But how could you totally love someone you couldn’t trust? How could you allow yourself to be with a partner that decided to be with someone else in the midst of your love for each other? But then again, everyone makes mistakes, and some people deserve a second chance. On the other hand, who would be a bigger fool if it happened again? “Drive, or get out the way, you stupid bitch!”

However, this mistake could have been avoided. There is too much planning when it comes to cheating. There are too many steps: you have to meet, then you have to get undressed, or at least unzip your pants, next there comes the condom, “which obviously wasn’t used”, and then there’s the insertion. Throughout the course of all of those acts, when does it dawn on you that you’re in a committed relationship with someone? While you are busy pumping away, there is another human somewhere on Earth thinking happy thoughts about you. That person is either washing your dirty ass underwear, slaving over a hot stove so you don’t go to bed hungry, or simply staying faithful his damn self. On top of that, you had the unmitigated gall to come home and smile in that person’s face like all is cool. “Oh hell no. You got me fucked up. Suicide? What a bitch move Tyrin. If I have to live with this, then so do you.”

Khalil wiped his face, eased his foot off of the gas pedal, turned up Foxy Brown and cautiously drove the rest of the way to the hospital. He bobbed his head, as the honey with the slanted eyes, told the world that they could catch her at the Hot Spot.

*****

He walked down the cold and sterile halls of the hospital in search of room 331. He stopped at the nurses’ station and requested further directions. He hated looking into the rooms and seeing the grim faces of patients that were being treated for whatever illness they have. He came to room 331, paused outside the door, took a deep breath, and walked in. He saw Tyrin lying face up in the bed, arms cuffed to the railing. His wrists were tightly wrapped with gauze, along with the knuckles on his right hand. The knife wound on his forearm, along with the gash on his jaw was also receiving care.

Tyrin turned his head and stared at Khalil with a look of shame and embarrassment, before refocusing his sights back to the cheesy talk show that was on TV. The sound of a toilet flushing came from behind Khalil. Seconds later Craig walked out of the bathroom and stopped in his tracks when he noticed the new visitor. The two stood side by side never acknowledging each other. Khalil let out a sigh of irritation and Craig figured it would be best if he left the room, “I’m going to leave you two alone, and go get something to eat.”

Khalil made his way over to the chair next to the bed. He stared at the bandages on Tyrin’s wrists and the feelings of detest subsided to those of sorrow. The two of them sat there staring at the TV waiting to see who was going to break the silence first. “I hate when they portray gays in this image. This is the exact reason why society hates us. TV makes us look like disgusting fags.” Khalil said as he watched the pointless show.

“Yep,” Tyrin whispered.

“You mind if I turn this down?” Khalil asked.

“Nope.”

Khalil grabbed the remote and commenced to lower the volume. Tyrin lay there staring at the ceiling; as he listened to Khalil readjust himself in the seat. “So is there anything you want to talk about? Now is as good a time as ever.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Tyrin whispered.

“Ok. Well I’ll start. Why did they strap you to the bed?”

“Because of what I did they feel as though I may still be a threat to myself. The funny part is that I am supposed to be dead right now. If only I had broken the glass a little gentler, the guy in the next room wouldn’t have called the front desk,” he said somberly like a person that had failed the ultimate test.

Khalil understood that now was not the time for a stormy argument, so he took caution in how he would proceed with the conversation. He wanted to get to some type of mutual understanding, if not for himself for the relationship as a whole. The questions that couldn’t be asked, or answered two days ago, were now about to be brought up and discussed once and for all. “Sorry to hear that. Do they know of your health condition?”

“Koya quit. Craig told me today that she packed up all of her stuff and stormed out of the office without saying anything to anybody,” he responded, ignoring Khalil’s last question.

“Can you really blame her? This whole situation is quite a shock.”

“I deserve it, I guess.”

“What did I do wrong? What made you look elsewhere for what I thought I was giving you?” he asked quietly.

“I don’t know.”

“Did you stop loving me?”

“No.”

“Did you think I was being unfaithful to you?”

“No.”

“Did you think I stopped loving you?”

“Yes.”

Khalil paused at the last answer and tried to continue without losing his composure, “Why would you think that?”

“During that time, you started talking to me differently, like I was irritating you. You started treating me like I was your child, and not your equal. For a time I was bending over backwards trying to make you happy and it never seemed to work. I just wanted to feel appreciated. You were always on the go at video shoots and traveling everywhere. I even asked you not to go on that concert tour, but you went anyway. I was hurt and I felt like you were going to do what you wanted to do, and not what I needed you to do.”

“So all of this happened when I went on tour?”

“Yes?” he answered. Hoping that his honesty would be the salve Khalil needed to accept him back.

“Can I ask you something else?”

”Sure.”

“Did you pursue him?”

Tyrin let out a sigh and knew that he couldn’t avoid the questions any longer, “It started out as playful flirtation and then it led to something else.”

“Was it just one time?”

Tyrin turned his head towards the window and by reading his body language he already knew what the answer was going to be. However, he had to hear it come out of his mouth. He squirmed in his seat and forced himself to continue on with the interrogation.

“How many times Tyrin?”

“I can’t remember,” he uttered.

“You can’t remember? Wow, that’s interesting. Why didn’t you at least wear a condom? Was it that good for you?”

He looked back at the ceiling and as the tears started to run out the side of his eyes, he began to speak, “He said he had never been with a man before and I was an experiment. I knew I was clean and I thought he was too because he said he had never been with a guy. The first time I felt bad because I knew that I had broken my vow to you, but after that it just got easier and easier. I knew he was lying about the whole experimentation thing when he brought his friend into the picture. I swear to you that I didn’t sleep with his friend, but I did watch them fuck each other. They wanted me to join in but I just couldn’t. That’s when I cut it off and told him that I was cool on the whole situation. I missed you so much, I was going crazy without you and I couldn’t take it.”

“I was gone for three months. It was only three fucking months, Tyrin. I stayed faithful to you for five fucking years, and you couldn’t give me three months.” Khalil was now done with being sensitive to the situation and sat up on the edge of the seat. “And Craig knew about this the whole time?” Tyrin knew the energy had shifted in the room and saw no need to keep anything hidden any longer. He was ready to get everything out in the open, in hopes of restoring the relationship.

“He walked in on us once. I prayed that this would never get to this point and I have never been with anyone else before or after that situation. I wanted to tell you about all of it, long before now, but Craig told me it would make matters worse. I’ve been carryingthis weight around for so long and a piece of me is glad that it’s out. Now we can start fresh, put this behind us, and make things right again. Khalil I am so sorry about all of this. But you are my life!” He looked him dead in the eyes, and with fear in his voice, he begged,

“Please don’t leave me. If I had the chance to do it all over again, none of this would have happened.”

“It’s funny you should say that, because if I had it all to do over again, I would have never given you my phone number. But unfortunately we can’t change any of this.” Khalil stood to his feet, before starting again, “However, for the record, I never stopped loving you. I’m sorry you were made to feel so belittled and unloved, but that was not my intention. I honestly thought you were stronger than all of this, but you have opened my eyes to a whole new you. Had you told me it was only one time I probably could have tried my best to work through it, but when you said you couldn’t remember how many times you slept with him, it burned me to the core,” Khalil said calmly. He was so calm that it was actually a bit unnerving. “You know what I need right now? I need a blunt! A big, thick, kush filled, chocolate motherfucking blunt!” he looked at Tyrin and then at his watch, “I need to go.”

“I love you.” Tyrin said.

“Fuck You.” Khalil calmly replied while standing over the bed.

“I’m sorry for hitting you.” Tyrin was trying his best to say the right thing that would calm Khalil down and somewhat smooth out the conversation.

“OK, now you’re reaching. I understand though, you’re scared of losing me and you will apologize for anything right about now. You will say whatever it takes to keep me from walking out the door. But guess what Tyrin, I was gone before I entered the room.”

“Baby. Please don’t make any rash decisions.” Tyrin tried to reach for him but the restraints on the bed kept him from achieving that. He grew frustrated by the fact that he was in this position and started to breathe heavier as he thought of what was about to come next.

“What’s done is done Tyrin, neither of us can change that. I have to live the rest of my life with your weakness. However, I can now honestly say that after hearing what you just confessed to me, and I do appreciate your openness, I will more than likely begin to hate you. Uhmmm, I haven’t gotten the results back from my test yet, but I am more than certain that I am infected, primarily because I trusted my body to you, which was a mistake on my part. Part of me is sorry that you tried to kill yourself, and part of me is sorry that you didn’t succeed. Right now I don’t know which way is up and you had better be thankful that I have pity for you, because I am fighting the urge to crack your head open with this chair.”

Khalil looked down at his estranged lover with hatred, hurt, and sadness, all rolled into one. He took the diamond ring off of his finger and placed it on Tyrin’s rapidly rising chest. Khalil softly caressed the face of the man he once couldn’t live without and planted a farewell kiss on his forehead, “Take care of yourself.”

“Baby, don’t do this to me. Oh God, I can’t make it without you.” His voice was engulfed with sadness and his face was covered in tears.

“Yes you can. You did it for three months.” As he walked toward the door, he stopped and said, “When you get out of here call me and I will let you know when you can come and get your shit. We will do all of the legal paperwork regarding the properties when we are both up to it, but as it stands right now I think you might want to start looking for a place to live.” He turned and continued to walk out the door.