The End of the Rainbow (16 page)

“Tyrin that is some fucked up shit. How could you do my boy like that? I don’t believe this bullshit. I thought you loved him?” Kerrion asked. “You better watch your back bitch, because you have truly fucked yourself this time.”

“Dre get him out of here. It’s too much going on right now,” Spencer said. Andre grabbed Kerrion by the arm and began to lead him out of the kitchen, he continued to blurt out threats of vindication toward Tyrin and as hateful and vicious as each one sounded, no one in the room seemed to object to his outbursts.

“Yes Koya, I slept with your cousin. It was a year ago and it was a mistake, a very big mistake. Khalil, I am so sorry about all of this, I know that there is absolutely nothing I can do to change any of itand I know that you and I are no more. We can discuss how we are going to handle all of this at a later date. By that, I am referring to the house and all of our assets. You are all witnesses to the fact that I am willing to give him what I owe and will not put up a fight. I have no more fight left in me. I have lost my lover, my health, one of my closest female friends, my son, and my dearest acquaintances, all in the same day. I need to go away for awhile.”

He was shaking uncontrollably and trying to say his words clearly but they wouldn’t seem to flow without breaking up. “Craig, I’m not going with you. I need to be alone. Boo, excuse me, Khalil, when you are ready for me to come and get the rest of my stuff, call me on my cell phone.”

Tyrin silently made his way through the group and into the garage where he started his Range Rover and skirted out without even packing a bag of clothes. As everyone began to exit the kitchen and head their separate ways to get either their thoughts or belongings together, Khalil stood in the center of the floor and stared at the puddle of blood that remained.

He had no idea what to do next but he did begin to feel the physical pains of the tussle beginning to set in. He lowered himself onto the floor and sat Indian style. He couldn’t believe the day started so peacefully and ended so tragically. In this moment of solitude he asked himself, “What now?” Then he looked up and asked God, “What do I do now?”

Tosha walked into the kitchen and lowered herself at the feet of Khalil hoping to give some sort of relief to what he was feeling. He looked at the dog and realized that she was a reminder of the bastard that betrayed her. They stared at each other for a few moments and in a voice that caused everyone in the house to stop in their tracks, Khalil yelled, “Craig! Come and get your cousin’s bitch out of my fucking house!”

THIRTEEN

Wednesday morning, two days after his life changing news, Tyrin awakened from his half-hour catnap and stared at the now familiar hotel room walls. His cell phone rang all night and the caller id showed Craig was desperately trying to reach him. The thought of having to endure the rest of his life without Khalil by his side was starting to take its toll. Being alone in the room gave him time to think about all that had transpired and he came to the conclusion that his life wasn’t worth living anymore. He was tired of crying and tired of the empty feeling that engulfed him. The mind was a terrible thing to try and fight, but in his state of mental instability and solitude, his mind was the only thing talking to him.

He sat on the edge of the bed staring into the mirror atop the dresser and all he saw was a man that was no more. His face was now permanently scarred with a gash he felt he deserved, and the wound on his arm was now a puffy sore that was trying to heal itself without the help of any antibiotics. The image in the mirror was not of a man that had it all together, but of one that was at the end of his rope. He reached up and rubbed his stubble filled face and the pungent smell of his own body was no longer an irritant to him. He spent the last two nights holding his cell phone waiting for Khalil to call and tell him to come home. He hoped that maybe he had given everything a second thought and realized that they could make it through this.

Each moment he hadn’t called hurt him worse than anything ever had before. “Momma, I need you. I wish you and Daddy were here. Why did you guys leave me?” he said in a scared and broken voice, “Tell Gregory I said hi, but don’t let him know that I am gay O.K. I don’t want him to laugh at me. What is heaven like? I bet it’s pretty. Have you seen Jesus? Aunt Dianne said you get to talk to him all the time. I try to talk to him, but I think he is too disgusted with me right now, so maybe that’s why he doesn’t answer. I’ve asked him time and time again why did he take my mom, dad, and brother, but didn’t take me? I even asked why I was gay. He just won’t answer me.” His own voice was beginning to become his solace. He was crumbling but had no idea how to make it stop. His body began to rock back and forth as the tears streamed down his worn face. He fought to hold his composure but it was a battle he was rapidly losing.

He jumped up from the bed and stared harder into the mirror, trying to find an answer to the questions he just asked. But in the silence he realized that there was only one way to get the response he needed. He thrust his fist straightforward into the object that reflected the man he had grown to hate, causing shards of broken glass to scatter on the dresser. His bloodied fingers picked up one of sharpest pieces. As he visually dissected the object in his hand, he sat back on the bed. His mind was busy convincing him that the only way he could get an answer from Jesus was if he asked him face to face. If he stood face to face with that man, he would be forced to answer him. He couldn’t dodge his questions and he couldn’t put him on hold any longer.

He began to pick at the pulsating artery located at his wrist. He didn’t want to slice it, instead he wanted to manually pull it out from under the skin and break it in two. As the sharp piece of glass picked at the tender flesh, he wandered into another place that seemed tranquil and calm.

He was growing more satisfied by the thoughts that in a few moments he would be reunited with his family, and face to face with the man that could give him all of the answers that he needed. Thoughts of Khalil raced through his mind and he imagined how happy he was going to make him by just disappearing from this place. This was the one way he knew to make up for all of his mistakes. This would make Khalil smile for sure, and by doing this he would prove to him that he truly was sorry and willing to do anything for him.

The glass pierced deeper into his flesh and he studied the procedure like a surgeon performing open-heart surgery. As he skillfully continued to pierce the skin trying to get at the vein, the flow of blood was starting to obstruct his view. He gave up on that wrist and moved to the next so he could get a fresh start. This time he knew what to expect as far as pain was concerned and understood exactly how he wanted to go about getting the vein exposed. As the blood leaked onto the carpet, dampened his clothes, and flowed down his hand, he refused to stop the process.

The sight didn’t scare him nor deter him from what he was doing; but what it did do was cause him to feel a sense of lightheadedness and he simply brushed it off as just hunger. His left wrist was dispensing fluid like a slow running fountain and as his eyes began to grow weak.

He felt a sense of failure begin to overwhelm him. He hadn’t gotten to the vein he wanted and he refused to stop until he pulled it out like a deranged scientist pulling the wire out of a robot that was causing havoc throughout the city. The glass slipped from his grasp and as his semi lifeless hands dropped to his knees, his head slumped over into a weakened position. With the fight he had left in him, he began to claw at the exposed wound, plunging his finger into the open hole that now occupied his wrist.

He managed to look up at the shattered mirror and saw cracked images of himself. The broken glass symbolized the pain he felt and the pain he caused others. It reflected how his heart looked ever since his family died and left him all alone. He never thought he would ever feel a pain that paralleled the one from that moment.

He tried to stand to his feet but his legs couldn’t support the near dead weight that was being forced on them. He fell forward, barely missing the edge of the dresser, and lay there waiting. Waiting for death to come and take him to see Jesus. “I’m sorry Khalil. I didn’t mean too, I was just lonely. I love you,” he weakly mumbled, before his eyes forced themselves closed.“So when do you go back to the doctor?” Spencer asked.

“Tomorrow.” Khalil softly mumbled.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“No. You have clients and I don’t want you to miss out on any money.”

“Fuck them, I’m going. They can wait. You don’t need to be alone to find out news like that.” Spencer insisted.

Khalil shrugged his shoulders and looked out the window of the salon at the people passing by. He appreciated the fact that he had someone willing to be by his side at a time like this, but deep down he really wanted to be alone when the news was confirmed.

He glanced over at Spencer who was sitting on one of the leather couches, thumbing through a black hair magazine, and for a moment felt a twinge of jealousy. Thoughts about Spencer raced through his mind that he dare not utter. “He still had his health and his whole life ahead of him. He had never undergone the pain of a ripped out heart, never been betrayed, never lost anything close to what I’m about to lose. All he ever has to worry about is where his next glass of liquor is coming from. Bitching about being single, not having anybody to lie next to, being horny. Here I am covered with fleas because of the dog I chose to lay up with. All of this bullshit is happening to me why, because I loved a man, because I had sex with a man, men, because I have desires that I have no control over. This is a fucked up place to be. I should have married a woman and just jacked off to the thoughts of men. Or while I was fucking her, let thoughts of some fine brother race through my mind. Too fucking late now.” Spencer looked up and noticed Khalil staring at him.

He turned and looked behind him to make sure that nobody was walking up on him. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No reason, just got caught up for a moment.”

“You were looking like you wanted to swing on me. You feeling froggy? Leap.” He jokingly flexed his body and Khalil weakly smiled, but unbeknown to Spencer, Khalil was in fact feeling a little amphibian like.

“I already know the results, so I am pretty much just going to get my prescriptions started,” he said to Spencer.

“You don’t know that, so stop saying it.”

“Spencer we have been discussing this for two whole days, lets face the facts. I have been with one man, that one man is infected and we didn’t use protection. Duh, I have it too. You need to start facing that fact and stop being in denial about all of this. Shit, I’m the one on a roller coaster with no brakes, not you,” he said as he rolled his eyes and looked back out the window.

“Let’s just wait for the results. Please.” he said somberly.

Lea stepped away from her station for a well deserved break and started to walk over toward her boys. After she retrieved a beverage from the mini fridge located underneath the receptionist counter, she came by her two buddies and stood there sipping on her soda like it was the last carbonated drink on earth. “Bitch, we don’t pay you to drink soda.” Spencer said.

“You don’t pay me at all. This is how it works, so listen close. My customers give me money and then I give you a percentage, so technically, I pay your broke ass.” She said as she took another sip of her cool drink. “How you feeling Boo?”

“I’m holding on. Making it through.” Khalil said.

“You heard from Tyrin?” she asked.

“No!” he snapped.

“Khalil, you need to get a resolution.”

“It’s been resolved as far as I’m concerned. Thanks for asking. Matter of fact I need to call Brian, I have a few legal questions for him. I’m not about to go broke behind this bullshit.” He looked at her and hoped that she would catch the fact that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“What kind of questions?” Spencer asked with a frown of concern.

“OK. First of all, Tyrin and I own a house. Secondly, we own an apartment complex. Third, we have joint stocks, mutual funds and a joint banking account.”

“You’re going to sue Tyrin for all of that?” Spencer asked.

“I need to be fairly compensated. I don’t trust him and he may try and get over on me financially. I want to be one step ahead of his bitch ass.”

“Khalil, you need to really talk to him before you start on a legal route. I mean this is not your ordinary type of breakup. I’m sure that the two of you can come to some mutual type of agreement. If you just calmly sit down together and talk things through I’m almost certain it would work out for the better. But a lawyer, that’s a bit extreme, even for you.” Spencer continued.

“Can you be my fucking best friend? I mean damn, where is your loyalty? Whose side are you on?” Khalil questioned.

Spencer sat there shocked that he would call him out like this but how could he admit that he was torn between the two of them. He had grown to love Tyrin as his brother, just as he did Khalil. Even though he knew in his heart of hearts that Khalil came first, he still had an urge and desire to call Tyrin to make sure he was holding up O.K.

“Have you seen or talked to your mother?” Lea asked, trying to ease the tension.

“Fuck, Lea. No I haven’t. I’m waiting for the swelling on my fucking lip to go down.” he replied with angry sarcasm “Besides my mom has enough to worry about with me being gay and all of that shit. I dare not tell her that I’m HIV positive as well.”

“You’re not positive,” Spencer interjected.

“Spencer, shut the fuck up!” Khalil left the two of them there and walked outside to get some fresh air.

“Could you have asked anything else that would irritate him?” Spencer asked her.

“Me? You’re the one that tried to stop him from getting legal counsel. He needs to deal with what is going on instead of running from it. And if he feels that having someone interject in regards to the division of their assets, I say do what you got to do,” she said defensively.

“I just hate that it had to end like this. They bought a house, an apartment complex, and own a vault full of stock options. They have been to Africa, Greece, Malaysia, and own a timeshare in the fucking Grand Cayman Islands. Their six-year anniversary is in three months and they have already booked a cruise through the Mediterranean. Do you remember their commitment ceremony? It was beautiful, I never thought two men would ever have something so lavish, but it was one of the most exquisite things I have ever witnessed. I can’t even dream about all of that being taken from a person in an instant. Imagine if every beautiful memory of love you have revolved around one particular person, and then it’s gone overnight. But the sad part is that the person didn’t die, they just betrayed you in the most ultimate of ways. Between you and me, we better watch him because he is a time bomb that is going to explode when we least expect it, and I am scared for him. I personally wish that all of this could somehow be put back together again,” Spencer concluded.

“Why? If they got back together it would be the worst mistake they ever made. Once trust is gone, so is the relationship. I feel sorry for him,” she said.

“Don’t feel sorry for him, he would hate that. One thing that brother despises is pity.”

“Let me ask you something. Do you wish they would get back together so you could somehow have hope for your own personal love life? I mean you have said time and time again that Tyrin and Khalil have the best gay relationship you had ever witnessed. And if the best one that you know of is now over, wouldn’t that be a symbol that all of them would somehow end no matter how good they look? You’re not scared for Khalil, you’re scared for yourself. Me personally, I’m cool on Tyrin and whatever he gets he deserves. Fuck him.” Lea concluded.

“You are making me sound really selfish,” he said in his defense.

“A hit dog will holler,” she said taking another sip of her soda.

Khalil and Kerrion walked into the shop full of laughter, while Lea and Spencer stood staring at each other in silence. Kerrion held a bag from Prada and stood there smiling like he had just wonthe lottery. “Do y’all bitches want to see the baddest pair of shoes ever made? Andre is going to love me in these this weekend.” Kerrion sat on the couch like a child on Christmas day and uncovered a pair of midnight blue leather loafers that were in fact a sight to make one look twice. Lea threw her hands up in the air and walked away from the three gasping men and back to her client, who was sitting anxiously under the dryer.