Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves) (41 page)

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I made a few phone calls when I got home.  I called Katherine to catch up on the latest in our lives.  She sounded very happy and did not mention any issues about John and the proposal she was longing for.  She was happy that I had found a friend like Stefano, but did not think it was possible for two people to remain friends when one was looking for something more.

“
It’s worth a try though, Claire.  Hopefully he finds a girlfriend and doesn’t keep going after you and missing out on other opportunities,” she said.

I had a missed call from Kristen and returned her call as well. 
She wanted to talk about my bad breakup that I had promised to fill her in on.  I told her the whole story about how I had met Alex and how things had ended up.  She was just as shocked as everyone else had been when I got to the part about Angela.

“
I’m speechless.  What a jerk,” she said.” Why don’t you get together with Stefano?  He’s a good guy and he really likes you,” she said.  I had to explain to her what I had been explaining to Stefano.  She finally seemed to understand and saw things through my eyes.  We talked for a long time, filling each other in on everything we could think of.  It was getting late and I had to jump in the shower before going to bed.  I told Kristen I would see her in class the following day and headed for that warm shower I had been craving.  I thought about the weekend and how good it had been, minus the alcohol intoxication on Friday night, which had landed me on Stefano’s couch.  The more I thought about it, the more I laughed, realizing it would be one of those stories that I could share with my friends no matter how old we had gotten.  I stepped out of the shower, put on my robe, and dried my hair.  I made some hot green tea to help me digest the food I had at the pub.  I finished all the laundry and sipped on the tea on the verandah.  It was a beautiful night.  It was clear enough to see the city from my verandah.  When I realized it was getting too cold, I headed inside and upstairs to bed.  I wished the week to follow was as good as the weekend I had just had.  I wondered what kind of drama was in store for me.  With many thoughts, good and bad, crossing my busy mind, I had fallen into a deep, comfortable sleep.

Chapter 15

The next morning, I automatically awakened before five o’clock and could not go back to sleep for the life of me.  I decided to go for a run instead of toss and turn in my bed.  I dressed, put on my running shoes and headed out.  It felt invigorating to run again.  It felt like I had found the freedom I had lost all those years.

I returned after a long
run, showered and dressed for work.  There was quite a bit of traffic that morning due to multiple accidents, but I was able to make it to work safe and on time.  Laura asked about my weekend and I told her about the motorcycle ride with Stefano and the possible Halloween party that I was thinking about going to.

“
The motorcycle ride sounds so exciting.  You have to go to the Halloween party.  If you don’t go, I will be very upset with you,” she expressed.

“
I know, I know.  Stefano will be upset if I back out also.  I just feel weird after my drunken state and sleepover,” I replied.

“
Who cares, you didn’t do anything wrong.  You were just having a good time.  Don’t you think you deserve that?” she asked.  “Besides, you didn’t do anything like sleep with him and I think he was nice enough not to try anything while you were drunk.  You’d be surprised what other men would have done in his shoes,” she said.

Laura was right.  Stefano could have taken advantage of me and I would have awa
kened naked in his bed.  I got a lot of work done that day.  I believed the morning run was responsible for my work ethic.  Laura had a meeting through lunch, so I thought I would head to the cafeteria to pick up some food for myself and eat at my desk while I worked.

I pushed the elevator button and waited for it.  I was so distracted returning Katherine’s text that I didn’t realize Alex was in the elevator when I walked in.

“Hi,” he said.

I looked up
from my phone to see it was him.

“
Oh, hi,” I replied, coldly.

“
Going to lunch?” he asked.

“
Yes,” I replied, short.

“
Did you want to grab a bite to eat together before I go to the clinic?” he asked.

“
No,” I answered. He had the gull to ask me out to lunch?

Alex pushed the call button o
n the elevator and stopped it.

“
What the hell are you doing, Alex?” I asked, furious with him.

“
This seems like the only way to get your attention, Claire.  I just want to talk to you about what happened between us,” he said.

“
I asked you to please leave me alone.  You said you understood and now you’re holding me hostage in an elevator.  I don’t get you, Alex.  I’m trying to go on with my life, but every time I take a step forward, you pull me two steps back,” I said, pushing him away from the elevator buttons and canceling the call.  The elevator continued to my destination and opened its’ doors.  I charged out of that elevator so fast, one would assume it were on fire.

I was furious while getting food from the cafeteria.  I want
ed to go back to work and quit.  I thought about resigning and changing my cell phone number as well as my home phone number.  I thought about all the ways I could keep Alex away from me.  I didn’t want to talk to hear his apologies.  I had heard enough of that and it sounded like a broken record.  How many times could a man apologize to a woman for breaking her heart into pieces?  Did he think it would really change anything?  I had lost my appetite by the time I made it to the cafeteria, so I only grabbed a few snacks.

When Laura returned from her meeting, I told her of my encounter with Alex.  I was so angry that she said my face was flu
shed.  “Claire, you’re not thinking clearly.  It’s so difficult to find a job right now.  You would be crazy if you did that,” she advised.  I had no choice but to stay and stick it out.  I would pray and pray until Alex left me the hell alone.

I was excited when it was time to leave work and head to dance class.  I changed into my dance clothes and headed for the parking lot.  I took a peek around my car to see if Alex was there
, but thankfully he wasn’t.  I quickly got into my car and drove to the dance studio.  Stefano smiled when he saw me enter the studio.

“
Hi, buddy.  How’s it going?” he asked.

“
It’s going pretty good, thanks,” I replied.

When I saw Stefano, I was immediately reminded of the Hallowe
en costume that I had yet to find.  I decided I would stop by the Halloween store on my way home to see what I could find.

Dance class was fun but difficult that night.  I wondered if th
e early morning run had anything to do with that.  After the difficult hour of dance choreography, it was time to head out.  Stefano asked if I wanted to hang out with him, but I declined, reminding him I had quite a drive to get home and had to work the following morning.

The Halloween store was on my
way home, so I stopped by in hopes that I would find a costume that interested me.  There were so many choices that it was difficult to decide which one I liked more.  I walked down another isle and found the perfect costume.  It was a flapper girl costume.  The dress was ivory and very short with beautiful black fringe all over it.  It included matching black satin gloves.  I also picked up a pair of fish net stockings, a feather for my hair, and a short, black wig with bangs to complete the costume.  I had many pairs of very sexy black shoes at home, so that part would be easy.

I felt so relieved to have found a costume and was confident that I would definitely make it to that party.  I called Stefano on my drive home to let him know I had a costume.

“That’s great, what are you going to be?” he asked.

“
Oh, I can’t tell you.  You will just have to wait and see,” I replied.

“
Not even a hint?” he asked.

“
Nope.  Not even a hint.  I have a feeling you will like it, though,” I assured him.

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I realized how exhausted and hungry I was when I got home.  The first thing I did was make myself a sandwich, since I had skipped lunch, thanks to Alex. I drew a nice, warm bath, and soaked in it until I looked like a human prune.  I was so tired that I feared I would fall asleep in that bathtub, so I stepped out and stepped into my robe.  I headed downstairs and enjoyed some hot tea on the verandah.  It was another cold night, but it felt really good on my skin.  I decided to call Calvin to see how he was doing after our dinner.

“
Hey Cal, how are you?” I asked.

“
Hey yourself.  I’m pretty good, how about you?  You sound a bit down,” he said.

“
I’m just really tired from work and dance and everything.  Have you decided when you want to tell mom, dad and Kyle about it?” I asked.

“
I will try to set up a family dinner at mom and dad’s with all of you there.  You have to sit right next to me and hold my hand.  I’m going to be so nervous, I may pass out,” he said.

“
I will be right there next to you, supporting you and holding your hand if needed.  Just tell me when and where and I will be there, okay?” I replied.

“
Thanks, sis.  See why you’re the first one I told?  You’re just such an understanding person.  I’m really lucky to have a sister like you,” he said.

“
Thanks, Cal.  I love you.  Let me know if you need anything,” I replied before we hung up.

I put my tea aside and decided it was one of those nights that required a glass of wine.  I was feeling a little down,
as recollections of Alex were flooding up my mind.  Life would have been so much easier if I had the same feelings for Stefano as I did for Alex.  Then I would begin a relationship with Stefano and wouldn’t care about running into Alex almost daily.  But love didn’t work that way.  Love had to be difficult and painful, especially for me.

With a glass of chilled wine by my side, my feet up on the ottoman, and the remote in my hand, I sipped away.  I flipped through the channels on the television
, but nothing caught my attention.  I turned on the news to see what the world was up to.  There was nothing but storms, homicides, plane crashes, and other depressing events all around the world.  I decided to call it a night and headed upstairs.  The following day would be a new day and I realized I had to live my life day for day and enjoy every moment as it came to me.

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My morning was a difficult one, since I had slept in an extra thirty minutes.  My shower was very short and I didn’t have time to make myself a smoothie.  The traffic was even worse, since I had left later than usual.  The second I arrived at my desk, Laura came to me with tickets to a fashion show for that Saturday.

“
Claire, please say you’ll go with me.  My mom and my sister aren’t going to be able to make it and I don’t want to go alone.  It’s really nice, I promise.  We go every year and it’s at the Beverly Hills Hotel,” she pleaded.

“
I don’t know, Laura.  Is it all day?” I asked as if I had plans.

“
Do you have to be somewhere on Saturday?  Isn’t the Halloween party next Saturday?” she asked.

“
Oh yeah, that’s next Saturday.  I don’t have any plans for this Saturday.  I guess I can go with you, sure,” I replied as Laura began to jump up and down.

“
Thank you, thank you, thank you.  The food is great and the show is very glamorous.  Dress sexy because all the rich ladies go in their fabulous expensive dresses and shoes.  Oh, some even wear hats and gloves and all that stuff,” she explained.

I lau
ghed, “Gotcha,” I said and began my day at work thinking about how the fashion show would be on Saturday.  I had never been to a fashion show, so I was looking forward to it.  I wasn’t going to wear a hat or gloves, but I would dress very nicely, I decided.

Laura was very happy after I told her I would go with her.  She knew I hadn’t eaten anything that morning
, so she brought me a croissant from the coffee cart downstairs.

“
Thank you, Laura.  You’re so thoughtful,” I thanked her.

“
You’re welcome, my dear.  Oh, I didn’t ask you if you had your coffee this morning or not.  I would have brought you some coffee to go with that croissant,” she said.

“
No, thank you, Laura.  I should drink more water and herbal tea.  I haven’t been drinking enough water lately.  That’s probably why I get tired, so quickly when I run or dance.  I need to rehydrate myself because I do sweat a lot from all that exercise,” I explained.

When I opened my email, I noticed there was one from Mark Kohler.