Positively Yours (10 page)

‘Don't expect so much. She isn't a doctor. You can't expect her to know when you will get pregnant. It's just a bit of fun.'

Erin agreed, but already she could feel her stomach flipping. She was nervous and excited at the same time.

Erin walked into the small dark room. Ula was sitting at an old oak table. In front of her was a pack of cards. Erin noticed that on the walls were unusual paintings.

Ula saw what she was looking at, and said: ‘Back in Poland my father was a painter. He also had the gift of foresight. He didn't use it to make profit, but instead often painted what he saw would happen. In this one you can see a girl on a boat, she is travelling a long distance from her home. This little girl is me. He painted me this when I ten years old. I told him he was wrong, and that I would never leave home, but then six years ago I followed the man I loved to Ireland. And now I am far from where I began, yet I have my father's paintings to remind me of my loved ones and of my true home.'

Erin looked at the paintings, but it was Ula she was most fascinated by. She had the most piercing blue eyes. Erin felt Ula could see into her soul.

‘Can you shuffle these cards, please?' Ula asked her, as she sat down on a large comfortable chair.

‘I see a very loving person by your side.'

‘Well, that's probably my husband John,' Erin replied, studying Ula.

‘He has a very good heart,' Ula said. ‘You are lucky to have someone like that.'

Erin agreed, but really she was here to hear about her own future as a mum.

‘Many girls come to me asking about love. I look into their futures and I see many different men, but rarely do I see someone with such a clear, good heart. You must treasure him.'

‘Oh I do, I do,' Erin said, as she looked down at the cards Ula had spread out on the table. Erin wondered which one, if any, represented new life.

‘You are searching for something.'

Erin nodded.

‘Your quest is important.'

Erin nodded again.

‘Sometimes we are looking for things we don't have, but in the meanwhile don't look at all the good things we have already been blessed with.'

Erin started getting a little frustrated. She just wanted to hear about a baby, her baby, not about what things she already had.

‘What is meant for you will come your way,' said Ula, gazing into Erin's eyes. ‘Remember that.'

Erin said nothing. She didn't understand. Was Ula telling her a baby will come along or not? She had to find out.

‘I want to have a baby. Will that happen for me? What do you see?'

Ula looked at Erin and then at the cards. She took a long time to answer.

‘You will have a happy life, but soon, very soon, there will be a big change. A decision out of your hands will be made by someone, and that will determine your future, too. But you have the choice to control this situation. You need to let people know how you feel. You need to appreciate what you already have, before anything new can come into your life. And what is meant for you will then come your way.'

For the next fifteen minutes Ula talked about family, friends, work and travel, but she didn't seem to directly answer Erin's baby question. As Erin paid her and went to leave, Ula suddenly placed her hand on Erin's.

‘Your wish will come true, but just don't let it hurt your
heart.' Ula paused, and added, ‘You need to care for what is important.'

Erin suddenly felt her heart race, Ula must see a child in her future! Once again Ula mentioned love and appreciation, but Erin wasn't listening. Ula hadn't come outright and said it, but from what she had implied she must have seen a baby in Erin's future – because that was all Erin wished for. And Erin realized she should care more, yes that was what she needed to do. Ula was right: she couldn't let herself fall behind on everything she had to do to get pregnant, she needed to watch her diet more, and exercise more. If she focused on getting her body into shape then it would only be a matter of time before she was ready. Erin thanked Ula for her advice, and then Alison went in to get her fortune read.

Forty minutes later the three sisters were all in a local restaurant discussing their night.

‘I just can't believe how accurate she was,' exclaimed Rebecca, as she poured herself a large glass of white wine. ‘I mean, to know about my job interview and the missing ring, she's unreal.'

‘I know, sure, I still can't believe how much she knew about me,' said Alison who was enjoying a night off from the baby, and knocking back the wine. ‘She knew exactly what kind of job David has. She told me to trust his instinct with the company, and go with buying a house. She even described the house to me! Although, when she said she saw two twin boys running around after Sophie I almost died. Imagine me with twins!'

‘She said you would have twins?' Erin said, surprised.

‘Yeah, she said she saw two blond-haired little boys running around. David will collapse when he hears. He is still in shock about being a father to Sophie. I can't imagine how busy we would be with another two.'

Erin was gutted. Ula had been spot-on with her two sisters. She had told them both exactly what they wanted to hear. Yes, she had told Erin her wish would come true, but she had seemed so obsessed with lecturing Erin on looking closely at what she already had that she hadn't really confirmed that Erin would be expecting soon.

‘Why don't you have a glass of wine?' Alison said to Erin. ‘Sure, you can leave your car here tonight. John will give you a lift to it in the morning.'

‘Oh, no thanks,' Erin said, as she poured herself another glass of water. ‘John has some club race tomorrow, and anyway I've got my double yoga class in the morning, so I need to be up and organized early.'

‘Well, I can give you a lift tomorrow, then,' offered Alison.

‘No, Ali, it's OK. I'm off drink, anyway. I've read article after article on the effect alcohol has on your fertility levels. And as I said, even Ula herself said I need to focus more. No, if I want to get pregnant I need to take this whole thing more seriously.'

Rebecca and Alison looked at their younger sister.

‘Erin,' said Rebecca softly. ‘You couldn't take trying to get pregnant any more seriously. It's all you talk about. Ula said to care about what is important. You know that could mean lots of things, from family and friends to work and, of course, John.'

‘But those things are all fine,' Erin said to Rebecca. ‘It's my inability to get pregnant that's the only problem in my life, so she must have meant I need to concentrate more on that.'

Rebecca said nothing. She knew how important becoming a mum was to her sister. It was easy for her to tell Erin not to worry when she herself already had two children, but still, she thought Erin was putting too much pressure on herself.

‘Well, regardless of what Ula and those reports say, I think
alcohol has no effect. Sure, wasn't Peter a honeymoon baby? And, trust me, I was pretty much drunk for our whole two weeks in the Caribbean! Poor old Peter was a result of an overload of Piña Coladas!'

Erin said nothing. It wasn't fair that both her sisters could get pregnant so easily and she couldn't. And she shuddered to think what effect all those cocktails must have had on Peter.

‘Just don't lose focus on all the other great things in your life, Erin. You have a house that I'm insanely jealous of, and a career that most women would kill for,' said Alison, hugging her.

‘I know, I know. It's just I want more,' Erin replied.

‘You can't have it all,' said Rebecca philosophically.

Erin said nothing but just looked enviously at their glasses of wine. She resisted, though. Regardless of what they both thought, she was sure she needed to work harder at becoming a mum.

Later that night Erin couldn't sleep, partly because of the loud snores that erupted out of John's mouth every two seconds. He had obviously drunk way too much. She also couldn't sleep as she was waiting for her period. It was 3 a.m., and she was late. She knew it was only by a few hours, but technically it was Saturday now, and she was due, yet nothing had happened. Erin was always bang on time, so being a few hours late gave her a glimmer of hope. Technically she could indulge herself now, and go ahead and see if she was pregnant. Erin crept out of bed and headed for the bathroom. She opened the bathroom press, and found the old shoebox that she kept full of fertility and pregnancy tests. She pushed aside the ovulation ones, and searched for a pregnancy test. She hadn't realized her stock was so low. Finally she found a box, but it was empty. Erin couldn't believe it. It was the one time she could be pregnant, and she had no test. She sat in the bathroom wondering what
to do. She resisted the urge to go to an all-night chemist and instead climbed back into bed and snuggled up to John.

All night thoughts raced through her head. Ula had said her wish would come true, but surely it couldn't happen so soon? Erin felt her head spin, she was so excited. Was she really pregnant? She thought back to sitting in Ciara Ryan's living room, with her notebook filled with ideas for the baby room. Only hours ago she had been jealous of Ciara, but now she felt different. Maybe in a few months she, too, would be painting her spare room yellow, erecting a crib, filling it with soft toys and waiting for the arrival of a baby. Erin finally fell asleep with thoughts of babies swimming around her head.

‘
ARE YOU COMING
to my race?' asked John as he passed Erin a plate of French toast and bacon topped with maple syrup.

‘Yum!' she said. She had been on a strict low-sugar diet for the past month, but since John had gotten up early to make her favourite breakfast she couldn't resist, and now, if she was pregnant, she wouldn't have to limit herself to the high-fertility diet, and could eat a wider range of food.

‘So, are you coming?' asked John again, kissing Erin. She could taste the maple syrup on his lips.

‘Oh no, I can't make it today,' she replied as she helped herself to more toast. ‘You know I have my yoga class in Ranelagh at noon.'

‘Well, come after,' he suggested.

‘No, today it's a double class, and then I've got a few errands to run. No, you go ahead and enjoy the race. Sure, I'll see you later.'

John looked very disappointed, but said nothing. Erin didn't notice, though; she was trying to eat as quickly as she could. She wanted to get to the chemist's before her class began. Erin had only started yoga the month before. She had read somewhere that it made people who were finding it hard to get pregnant more relaxed, and they conceived more easily. The minute she had discovered this she had signed up to the
double classes that took place on a Saturday. Yes, it ate into her weekend time with John, but she had felt that since the most important thing to them both was a pregnancy, it was worth the sacrifice. If Erin was honest, up till now she hadn't been sure if yoga had been helping her relax, but now that there was a slight possibility that she might be pregnant she felt she owed it all to the classes. Her teacher, Pippa, had also told her that yoga was great to do when you were pregnant. Erin made a mental note to find out when the pregnancy yoga classes were on.

After a hasty goodbye to John she jumped into her car and headed to Ranelagh. She had briefly debated telling John about her pregnancy suspicion, but she didn't want to get his hopes up, and anyway he seemed preoccupied with his race. No, I'll tell him later when I know for sure, Erin thought, parking her car and walking to the nearest chemist.

As she passed the shops a maternity boutique caught her eye. Erin had often walked by it before, and admired the flattering outfits in the window and the stylish pregnant mums coming in and out of the shop. She hesitated outside the shop door. She was on such good form, and her hopes were so high, that on a complete whim she walked into the shop. Since it was a Saturday morning it was very full. Erin discreetly stared at all the bumps. Some were huge, others barely noticeable. She was fascinated, yet all the women seemed blasé about the miracles they were carrying. Most were just looking at the clothes or chatting to friends. When I've a bump I will be touching it all day long, I will be so proud to show it off, thought Erin. ‘I know I won't be able to think about anything else,' she whispered to herself.

‘Can I help you?' asked a middle-aged woman.

Erin got a fright, she hadn't planned on staying longer than two minutes in the shop, let alone talking to anyone.

‘Oh no, I'm OK, but thank you,' she replied politely.

‘You're at the early stages, I see,' smiled the woman. ‘I know you are probably thinking you will never need clothes like these, but trust me once that little bump appears it will just grow and grow! Of course it's so exciting, but it's worth having some clothes on hand for the day you suddenly wake up and find your trousers are too tight!'

Erin was about to tell the shop assistant that she didn't even know if she was pregnant, when out of the corner of her eye she noticed a beautiful classic black and white dress.

‘Oh, I see you've spotted our new collection. It's only just arrived. Would you like to try that dress on? It's been flying out the door. The amount of women who have bought it for weddings they are attending is unbelievable. I suppose it's a great shape, very classic, and it will last you right up until you have the baby. The waistband expands to accommodate any size baby!'

Erin looked at the dress. It was gorgeous. She could see herself in it.

‘Is it for any special occasion?' asked the assistant.

Suddenly Erin remembered her friend Amy's wedding. This dress would be perfect for it.

‘Well, I am going to a wedding, but it's not for a while! Sure I can come back closer to the time.'

‘No need to,' said the woman as she started ushering Erin into the changing room. ‘We have a wide range of prosthetic bumps that you can use when trying on the dress. You wear whatever one will be closest to the trimester you will be in then. It's very handy really, saves you having to run around shopping when you are larger and probably in no mood for shopping!'