Microsoft Word - Illicit Desires ePub.doc (5 page)

to her room. I ran after her right away and was barely able to catch the door before she

closed it right in my face. She threw herself on the bed and buried her head in her pillow,

both ignoring my presence and delivering the message that it wasn't appreciated.

I didn't know any other way to comfort her except to lay beside her on the bed, and I

didn't want to do that, of course. Nevertheless, I took a deep breath and got into the bed

with her. I reached for her hidden face to remove a lock of hair away from it, but she

shrugged my hand away angrily. That was not her typical avoidance of my touch. No, that

reaction was full of anger.

I sighed and then tried again. This time, thankfully, she didn't shrug my hand away,

though, in a way, I wished she had. I saw her tears then.

"Hey, Lily, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"None of your business!"

"Hey, c'mon. What did I say?" I asked in confusion, causing her to sit up and face me.

Her eyes were red, her nose was pink, and she looked all flushed; tears were streaming

down her cheeks. "You don't even know what you just said?" she started. ' How could you

say such a thing? How could you even
think
about it?"

"About what? You're confusing me!"

"Y—you thought about killing yourself?" a big fat tear escaped one of her eyes.

Oh! That…

"Lily, I—" Before I could finish, she interrupted me by throwing her body into my

arms.

"How could you?" she sobbed into my chest. I surrounded her body with my arms after

taking in yet another deep breath, moving my hand over her hair.

"It's nothing, Lily… It was just a thought…"

"How could you?" she repeated.

"Shh… It's really nothing, baby sis." I don’t remember the last time I had even called

her that. "It was just a crazy thought, and it's gone now."

She looked up at me. "When?"

"When what?"

"When did you think about that horrible thing? You're only sixteen for God's sake!"

"I don't remember," I lied.

"Why didn't you tell me that there was something bothering you? We tell each other

everything, Adrian!"

Wel , you weren't speaking to me then, but yeah… I wouldn't tel you what was bothering me then even

if we were talking.
"Because it
is
nothing; I keep telling you this, but you don't want to listen!"

She hugged me again, sobbing into my shoulder. "Please, Adrian. Don't ever think

about that again. Don't you realize that I could never live without you? Don't you know how

much I love you?"

I sighed as I kept on smoothing her hair. "I know, and I love you too, baby sis. I'm

sorry!"

We stayed like that for a while as Lily silently cried into my chest while I rocked us back

and forth slightly, as I kept on smoothing her beautiful, silky hair.

"Hush now, baby sis. You've been crying too long. You don't want Mom to come back

and see you like this, do you?"

She shook her head slightly, and after a while, she stopped crying. I heard her steady

breaths later on as she slept in my arms.

My sweet little
—
sexy
—
sister.

Oh fuck! Back to yearning over her again!

Before things could get
hard
, I started to get out of the bed, laying her carefully on her

pillow. Just as I was doing that, though, she gripped my arm. "Don't go!" she whispered

without opening her eyes.

Wel … Fuck me!

I knew it wasn't a good idea, but I couldn't say
no
to her. When I lay back on her bed,

she cuddled into my body. I meant to leave as soon as I was completely sure that she was in

a deep sleep and wouldn't wake up once I left, but fate had other plans for me
.

Being that close to her was really not that easy on me; I was …
suf ering
. The warmth of

her body, the hotness of her breath oh so very close to my neck… I almost came in my

pants—…
again
!

I turned her around so her back was facing me and positioned my left arm on her waist

just like I always did before
that
summer.

I only wanted her breasts that were pressed firmly to my chest to move away; I was

losing my mind from the feeling of them. Little did I know that it would only make things

worse.

Her ass—her perfect, round ass—was just an inch away from my hard-as-a-rock dick. I

sat up using my right hand to support me. My elbow pressed into the pillow, my hand rested

under the side of my forehead, and my fingers tangled in my hair. I tried to be as distant as

possible from her, without leaving her, until she was fully asleep.

Deep inside me, I knew she was already sound asleep; I knew her very well, and

everything about her from those steady breaths to that small parting between her lips told

me that. Yet, I stayed.

I swear I only meant to look at her, but my sick mind wanted more; I yearned to touch

her. Any part of her.

—
This is your sister.

Just one touch.

—
Your baby sister.

Just one sniff of her neck.

—
Your twin.

Just one kiss on that pale, bare shoulder.

—
This is not right.

Just one feel!

—
You can't do that.

She wouldn't know.

—
Don't you dare touch her.

My thoughts fought against each other. My mind fought my desire, my heart fought my

dick, and my lust fought my reason.

Even in her sleep, she was the sexiest woman I'd ever laid eyes on.

Girl! She's just a girl; she’s not a woman, and she's your fucking sister!

Apparently, my conscience was somewhere else that night, because my bad side won. I

moved my left hand to remove more wayward locks of hair that were covering too much of

her face and neck, pulled them behind her ear, and trailed my fingertips down her swan-like

neck.

So smooth and perfect.

I leaned in just a little and touched my lips to the side of her neck where my fingertips

had just left. She was so warm, and she tasted oh so fucking good. I moaned at the feeling

and, involuntarily, my hips jerked a little until I found myself grinding my cock slightly into

her pants-covered ass.

This is so fucking wrong, but feels so fucking good!

My hand went down to the strap of her olive tank top and I found myself slowly taking

it down her arm. I wanted to undress her and drown myself in the sweetness of her body.

Then, suddenly, it was too much of a line for me to cross, so I settled on reaching a shaky

hand to touch her left breast.

Fuck. Me.

Her breast was so fucking soft and fit just perfectly in my hand as I touched it through

the thin material of her tank top. I let out another hushed moan at the feel of her and made

another
involuntary
movement as I ground into her ass.

The feeling of her nipple hardening under my touch made me squeeze a little bit harder,

but I was still careful to not wake her up and end this forbidden bliss. I covered my mouth

with my hand and bit down on the side of my pointer finger. The furrow between my

eyebrows and the squeezing of my eyes was almost painful as I jizzed my pajama pants

silently with one last jerk of my hips into her body.

Moments later, after I had come down from my high, I moved a little away from her.

Suddenly, guilt, regret and shame flashed through my mind, and it wasn’t enjoyable.

It wasn't anything like I felt the day after I’d kissed her; it was a million times worse. I

felt my stomach turning and rose up from the bed as though it had suddenly burned me. I

felt tears aching to escape my eyes as I looked down at her, sleeping peacefully.

I just molested my sister…

His hand was touching my body, wandering on my back and my side. His hand was so warm and soft
—

almost matching the warmth and softness of my skin. The only difference was how manly it felt.
So good!

His hand moved then to touch my backside, rubbing it, kneading it, and driving me crazy in the

process.
So freaking good!

I didn't want to keep my back facing his chest. The wetness between my legs was becoming unbearable,

and I wanted more.
Turning around to face him with my eyes still closed, he pressed his lips to mine, taking

me in a passionate kiss.

I pul ed away after a few moments, gasping for air, and opened my eyes lazily to meet his. I was met

with piercing green eyes that matched mine in both their color and lustful look.

"Mornin', baby sis," he whispered.

I woke up with a huge gasp that almost hurt my throat.

Darn it! What the heck is wrong with me?

I'd been having sexual dreams for a few months, and it was driving me insane.

I knew lots of teenagers have those kinds of dreams, and it was perfectly normal since I

was almost seventeen and all, but that's not what was bothering me. It was the fact that I

only had them with one guy—my brother.

I know! I know! It was sick and pretty much twisted, but I didn't know what was wrong

with me. I had absolutely no control over it, and I knew that it was
not
normal. I didn't know

if it had anything to do with Adrian's behavior towards me, but I knew that it started that

night I thought we'd gotten back to normal.

You see, after he kissed me that day, I was really mad at him. I felt sick at the thought of

my brother kissing me. I didn't talk to him for seven long days; I didn’t know what we could

say or do after what had happened.

From my side, not only was I mad, but all of my thoughts were on a repetitive loop.

What the heck? Was he out of his mind? I knew we were very close and al , but not that close.

From his side, I knew he was embarrassed; it was written all over his face that he was,

but then again there were other emotions that I couldn't understand. I missed him in those

days. We'd fought before, and we'd argued a lot, but we had never gone so long without

talking to each other, and it was really awful.

When he talked to me again and apologized, I forgave him. But, I just couldn't put my

finger on why he had done that in the first place. I just wanted to know what the heck he

had been thinking. And I asked him just that. I wasn't stupid, and I didn't know how he

could think I would buy it. I woke him up that day for God's sake! I knew he’d had
nothing
to

drink that could make him lose his mind like that—not alcohol. Not even freaking rotten

milk!

Even if I
had
missed him for a minute, I still never smelled scotch on his breath, so I

really knew I hadn't missed anything after all. I simply let it go. I didn't know what the

reason was, but I didn't want to embarrass my brother any more either. Then again, I could

say that he was just happy and got lost in the feeling that the dizziness of the ocean brought

to mind. After all, I'd admitted it to myself that I
did
kiss him back.

And until that moment, almost three years later, I still didn't know why.

I spent a whole year with Adrian being like a stranger to me. Things were never the