Microsoft Word - Illicit Desires ePub.doc (26 page)

and standing up every time I did during dinner
. So sweet!
It was really easy to talk to Ian,

though it had always been like that. Nothing new, yet it felt anything but usual. I had a great

time.

As I'd suggested, Ian had his cell phone switched off just like mine. I told him that it

would be better if nobody bothered us with their calls. And you do know who I meant when

I said
nobody
.

When Ian walked me to the front door, my heart was pounding so hard, I could almost

hear it, just because I was thinking that he'd probably give me our first kiss. I was really

excited about it, but I didn't know why the image of Adrian was in my mind.

I thought maybe because I really wanted Ian to kiss me, desperately waiting to see if it'd

feel the same as Adrian's kisses, that someone else could make me feel the things that Adrian

made me feel, that I could live my life normally.

Yeah, I really thought that was why I was thinking about him when I was about to have

my first appropriate kiss. Ian had both of my hands in his as we stood by the door. We were

both smiling and I was blushing like crazy.

"I really had a great time, Lilla." Ian smiled, looking into my eyes and brushing his

thumbs over the back of my hands slowly, softly.

"Me too, thank you so much." I smiled shyly and looked away.

He tugged on my hands a little, pulling me toward him, and I felt like my heart was

going to burst out of my chest somehow. Just as our lips were an inch away from each

other's, I heard the door opening abruptly.

Adrian stood under the doorframe, eyes bloodshot and face flushed. I got worried

about him for a second – he looked as if he was sick or something – but it was just for a

second, then I realized he wasn't sick or anything, he was
madly
angry.

His eyes were fixed on Ian's hands in mine, then turned to glare at him. If looks could

kill, Ian would have been a dead man right then. "Get inside!" he roared, his eyes still on Ian,

though I knew he meant the words for me, of course.

"Hey, Ad—"

"Shut the fuck up, dickhead," Adrian interrupted him. "I'll deal with you later. Get

inside, Lily!"

It was the first time I had ever feared Adrian. It was like he wasn't himself, like he was

drunk or high, and the only emotion he could show was rage.

"Uh, can you give us a minute, please?" Ian asked.

Uh-oh!

"You'll leave my fucking house right the fuck now if you want to keep your fucking dick

attached to your fucking body."

"What is yo—"

"Ian," I interrupted, "It's okay, we'll talk tomorrow, okay?" I tried to minimize the

damage.

"But, Lily—"

"Please?" I begged. "Please."

Ian huffed, nodded once, and left.

We watched him as he got back to his car and drove away. Abruptly, Adrian grabbed

me by the arm and dragged me inside the house, then closed the door. I winced when my

back hit the closed door as he shoved me against it.

"What the fuck has he done with you?" he growled; his voice was somehow scarily low.

I didn't reply to him. I was frozen with shock and fear.

"Did he fuck you already?" His eyes would be shooting fire if they could. "Answer me."

He shoved me again.

"Ow!" I knew I could defend myself, I knew I could push him away, and I knew I

should at least reply. But I didn't.

I felt so bad for the way he looked, knowing that it was all me. I had caused it.

"WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU?"

"What is that noise down there?" It was Dad. "Adrian! What the heck are you doing?

Get your hands off of your sister!"

In just one moment my Dad was behind Adrian, trying to move him away from me.

Adrian wasn't snapping out of it, and he wouldn't pull away.

"Adrian! Let go of your sister, right now!"

Eventually, my Dad was able to make Adrian lose his grip on my shoulders, and he

shoved him with one hand to the wall beside me. I winced because of the sight and because

the blood was rushing back to where his hands had left, and it hurt.

Dad hugged me with his free arm. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

I nodded, and looked down.

"What the heck is wrong with you, Adrian? Have you lost your frigging mind?"

"Ask her the same question, Dad." he replied angrily. "She didn't even tell me!"

"Tell you what? What on earth is going on here?"

"She went out with that douchebag and I had no fucking idea about it!"

"Watch your language, Adrian!" Dad warned. "And what's that? You want her to get

your permission before she goes out or something?"

"I would've told her he's not a good guy."

"Your best friend is not a good guy? What's does that say about
you
?"

"Exactly! He's my best friend and I know him better! He's a fucking manwhore, Dad!" I

flinched at the sound of his voice and his words as well.

"I'm not telling you again to watch your tongue, Adrian. And it's not any of your

business to tell her who she can and cannot go out with. She's old enough to make her own

decisions."

"He's fucked every fucking girl in our school except for our sisters and Emma! And

now he's messing around with
my own
fucking sister?"

"That's it! You're grounded."

"Whatever!" He shoved my dad's hand that was still on his chest away.

"Apologize to your sister," Dad ordered.

"In your dreams." he said as he walked away.

"Adrian!" Dad yelled, but he was only met by the sound of Adrian's door being closed

roughly.

He sighed and rubbed my shoulder as I sobbed in his arms.

"Are you okay?" he asked me again.

I nodded into his chest.

"I'm sorry about that," he apologized. "Ian is a good kid, your brother is just being

overprotective of you. Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head
no
.

"Okay. Go get some rest, and maybe we can talk about it in the morning, okay,

sweetie?"

I nodded again, unable to say anything. As I walked into my room, I wondered where

Mom had been all of that time, but figured it might be one of those nights when she couldn't

sleep except with her sleeping pills.

I needed to cry a little on her shoulder…

That night, I cried myself to sleep, Adrian's words echoing back in my mind over and

over again.

It wasn't like I didn't know how Ian was, but I liked him, and I knew he liked me, too. I

knew he could be different, and it wasn't like he was cheating on me with those girls or

anything. The way Adrian reacted was another story.

Will it always be like that?

Breakfast was something really stupid, no one was talking. I only spoke when Mom asked if

I wanted to talk to her – of course Dad had told her. I politely declined her offer and just

went to school, not bothering to even look to see if Adrian was following behind me with

his car like every other day.

We didn't talk at all during classes. I had one class with Sandra and I did my best not to

show how upset I was. I knew that I wouldn't see Ian except at lunch, and I was anxiously

waiting for it. I wanted to see if he was okay, and if Adrian had said or
done
anything to him.

I spotted Emma and Julia as I carried my tray while I was dragged by Sandra. I didn't

want to go to them, but Sandra left me no choice. The guys were nowhere to be found

though; I figured they were out for a smoke or something.

Emma had a pink nose, and silent tears were streaming down her face as she talked with

Julia. She looked so upset.

"What's wrong?" I asked, because it was the thing I was supposed to say.

"What's wrong?" Julia repeated angrily. "Your son of a bitch of a brother is what's

wrong. He's been treating her like trash and this has to stop!" Her hands were flying

everywhere as she ranted.

Sandra gasped.

I pressed my lips together. "You do realize that that bitch you're talking about is my

mother?"

"Whatever!" Julia huffed and looked away.

"Julia!" Sandra warned.

"It's okay, Sandra. I'm going."

I wasn't in the mood to deal with Julia. She could be tough, but I knew she had a kind

heart. She'd come around. I threw my food tray with all of the untouched food on it into the

trashcan and left to get some fresh air.

A few minutes later, I felt a nudge on my shoulder as I was sitting on one of the seats

outside.

It was Julia. "I'm sorry."

I offered her a small smile, patting the hand that was on my shoulder, but didn't say

anything.

She sat beside me. "Emma is really important to me, Lily. You know that, right?"

I nodded.

"She's been with me in my darkest days. I don't know what I would've done without

her. I want to be there for her, too." She went on and on about how much she loved Emma.

I really didn't need to hear it, but I just nodded and assured her that I wasn't upset with her

and I just came outside because I needed some time alone.

She took the hint and left.

"Hey, beautiful," I heard Ian saying from behind me.

I smiled. "Hey."

"Do you want to go for a walk?”

I nodded and took his hand. We walked hand in hand around the school. We did that

often, though it was different this time.

"Have you seen Adrian yet?"

He sighed. "Something like that."

"Did he say anything about us?"

"Well, he's not happy about it."

"Yeah… I know he isn't," I huffed. "I'm sorry," I said after a moment.

"For what? I already knew he wouldn't take it lightly. I know how overprotective he is

when it comes to you." He moved a hand down my cheek, as we were now standing by a

tree.

I nodded and looked down, blushing.

"Look, Lily, if you have second thoughts abo—"

"I don’t," I interrupted. "It's just… I know he won't let us be, he won't go easy on you."

"It's okay. You're worth it." His thumb rubbed my cheek softly. "There is something

I've wanted to do for a very long time." His thumb brushed my lips. I hummed softly and

closed my eyes.

His lips captured mine, and he kissed me ever so softly. It was nice and tender, warm

and wet, and he made sure to make me feel how much he liked me in that kiss.

When he pulled back and smiled, I knew that it meant a lot to him, and I wasn't just

someone he wanted to mess around with like my brother had said. It was more.

I also knew one more thing after Ian kissed me…

Adrian had ruined me for any other guy.