Microsoft Word - Illicit Desires ePub.doc (14 page)

The silent treatment was what I gave my family for a week. My dad wouldn't give me

permission to go on dates with anybody. So I wasn't talking to him. My mom supported his

decision. So I wasn't talking to her. My brother was all
hallelujah
that I still wasn't allowed to

date. So I wasn't talking to him, either.

They could all kiss my butt. Well, Adrian couldn't. And, yuck! Dad, either. And sure as

heck not Mom.
Darn it. I hate my life!

He was spraying open-mouthed kisses all over my jaw line. It felt so good.
I felt like I was dizzy. And when

he touched the skin of my collarbone with his tongue, I almost had an orgasm right then and there.

I felt him, hard and hot, right on my center, rubbing himself into me, almost causing me to faint.
It felt

more than good.
I moaned and moaned over and over again, maybe saying his name once or twice, encouraging

him to do more, tel ing him exactly how good he made me feel.
He touched my breast and ground himself into

me one more time. I was so close, and I asked him to never stop. I told him I was going to come.

He ground his erection into my center harder.
So freaking good!

Right before I finally had an orgasm, I woke up!

With the thought of how that wasn't fair
,
I sat up on my bed with a gasp. A man was

standing just over my bed. Adrian!

Before I could ask him what the heck he was doing in my room staring at me, my eyes

caught the answer to my unspoken question. He was standing with his peen in his hand.

Stroking it from base to tip, and then all over again from tip to base, in a fast motion.

I watched him, watching me, still stroking his peen, and panting.
Stop looking at his peen!

Just freaking stop looking at his peen.
But I looked at it. Actually I was too shocked to look away.

"I'm sorry. Oh fuck, I'm so sorry!" he breathed. Then all of the sudden he was –
coming

on my floor. I watched him as he ran out of my room through my bathroom door without

saying a word.

What the heck just happened?!
I stayed on my bed for few minutes, absorbing facts, and

then I went to his room.

I found him sitting on his bed, his legs on the floor and his head buried in his hands.

Hope he washed those hands.
I wondered what he'd say this time!

Part of me wanted to yell at him and demand an explanation. Another part of me didn't

want to embarrass him, knowing that he was probably feeling guilty.

Why does he do it if he knows he'l be al guilty right after?
I'd never understand him.

"You're really just going to sit there and leave the mess you made in my room for me to

clean up?"

His head shot up to look in my direction, but he didn't look me in the eye. Of course …

back to that again.

Without a word, he stood up and passed where I was standing right in the bathroom

doorway, took a towel and a washcloth and disappeared into my room.

I waited for him to finish, not knowing what my next words would or should be. When

he got back to the bathroom, he dropped the towel into the basket, and said, "Done." Then

he passed me without another word to go into his room.

I grabbed his arm, and stopped him. "So that's it? You won't even explain? Like nothing

just happened?"

He looked at me, with sadness and a hint of guilt, but all of that was mixed with –

anger?
What the heck?

"What do you want me to say?" he spat. "I'm attracted to you and the lust I have for

you is like a fucking speeding train, I can't stop it, and I can't fucking help it? At least I admit

it. I'm not living in denial like some people."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, Lily, forget it, okay?" He shook his head, and shrugged his arm out of my

hold. I just stood there trying to understand what he was saying.

"I'm sorry. Now, excuse me. I need to get some sleep." He closed the door right in my

face.

I thought about it a lot. I tried to find a solution to this. I was trying to fix my brother so

hard. I wished that he would just get back to normal. I wanted him to be all right. I found

just one thing to do. And I thought he'd agree to it.

"Adrian, can we talk?"

He nodded. He hadn't spoken to me since
that
night. Hardly talking at all. Even our

friends noticed It wasn't like before when he was all feeling guilty and acting so sweet to me

and all – no, he was actually kind of mad at me. Me! Can you imagine?

"Uh, I wanted to ask you to do something. I think it'll make you – uh, feel better."

He folded his arms in front of his chest and gave me a questioning look. "I'm listening.”

"I think you only feel, uh, stressed, and uh, it's normal to feel like that; we are teenagers

after all." I let out a small nervous laugh.

He just stared at me.

"Um… So, I was thinking that you need to stay busy doing something new and should

try to … uh, release that stress. You'll get rid of it then just like that." I flicked my thumb

and middle finger together to press my point.

"Oh! I see," he said. "And what would that be, Ms. Smith?"

Okay, now he's making fun of me, too.
I took a deep breath and tried not to yell at him for

talking to me like that, even if it was the thing I wanted to do the most.

"I, uh, I think you should start dating."

He stared at me, his eyes widening. "Is that so? You think I should date?"

"Yes."

"So you think I should 'stay busy'–" he made air quotes "– fucking?"

"Uh, it's not my business what you do. But … Uh …" I couldn't say anything; I didn't

know why.

He chuckled dryly. "I think you're right. Yeah, I should do exactly that."

"So, you're going to … ask someone to go out with you?" Why did that make me

nervous?

"Yeah, I'll do that. I'll ask some
girl
to go out with me. Tonight, actually."

"Oh! That … soon?"

"Why wait? Call me whatever you like, but I do know some girls who have been dying

for me to ask them out."

"Oh… Okay. Good luck." I gave him a small smile and walked to my room.

Why do I feel an unfamiliar ache in my heart knowing that he'l be with some girl tonight?

Why does it
—
hurt?

Am I jealous?

That night, I didn't know what to do. Should I stay in my bed and listen to those magnificent

noises she was making, and maybe jerk off while I was at it? Or should I go in there and give

her a hand?
Fuck!
I really wanted to do the latter!

Her moans grew louder, and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get in there and just

fucking
… Fuck, I don’t even know!

Without waiting for my thoughts to be sorted, I opened the door and went in there. She

was lying on her back, her hands gripping her sheets for dear life. She was twisting and

arching her back every now and then, and her moans made me want to cum right then and

there.

She was sleeping… "Oh, Adrian!" And, she was dreaming about …
me
!

Fuck me!
Fuck me backwards! Sideways! Just fucking fuck me!

Her thighs rubbed themselves together to create friction to ease the sweet ache she

must have been feeling.

Oh, how much I want to do that for you, little sister.

I wanted to touch her, oh so very much. But I couldn't. I promised her. I just couldn't.

My legs had a mind of their own as I walked to her bed. I was just few inches away, and

if I reached out just a
little
… I would touch her.

God!
I can't! I can't! I can't! I fucking promised!

It didn't take long before I found myself jerking off right beside her bed. Her moans

made me jerk even faster—from tip to base and base back to tip—and I couldn't keep my

own moans from escaping my mouth.

I was so close when a loud moan made its way out of my lips and caused her to wake

up. But I was too far gone to run from her room or to even put my dick back in my pants.

"I'm sorry, oh fuck, I'm so sorry!" I said as came in several powerful bursts.

I watched her watching me with wide eyes and a terrified look on her face. When I was

finished, I ran out of her room like a bat out of hell. I felt so bad when I settled down on the

edge of my bed. I kept wondering why I had done that and why I couldn't control myself.

Why was it so hard for me when it came to anything related to Lily's body … or her
moans?

Why am I so fucked up like this? Just… Why?

As I was scrubbing the floor, so many thoughts kept on roaming through my head. Ten

minutes hadn't passed since I came, and my mind already was filled with lustful thoughts

about her. I didn't know if it was that soft, delicious strawberry smell that filled the air and

my lungs before going straight to my dick, or the fact that what had just happened kept on

repeating itself over and over and over again in my mind, that made me want her even more

with every passing second.

God! I fucking want her, so much! I can't fucking control myself.

She was dreaming about
me
! She was fucking having a
wet
dream about
me
! Her moans!

Fuck! Her moans! She was calling my name!
My. Fucking. Name!

The way she was… Wait a minute! She was calling
my
name! My hands froze on the

floor as the thought crawled around my brain. Her dreaming about me that way meant that

she was thinking about me …
that way
!

She wants me too?
My mind kept on going here and there. The memory of my head buried

between her thighs, drinking her sweet nectar, made an appearance in my head, but it was

more focused on her hands that kept pushing me in … not out.

Back then when it happened, I'd thought that I gave her no time to think before I

finished the job. Why I didn't think that maybe she didn't push me away because she wanted

it, too? Why didn't I think about the fact that she didn't feel
'oh so betrayed'
until after she

came?!

Then another memory flashed in my mind: the day when we kissed in the water. Yes!

Actually, I said
we
.

I didn't just kiss her!
We
kissed! She fucking kissed me
back
! Why the fuck had I never

thought about this fucking shit before?

My fucking sister lusted after me, too!