Memory of an Immortal Heart (Immortal Hearts) (41 page)

“Just
for tonight,” Eva said,
needing
him. “Please.”

He
cursed softly, and straightened. He was utterly still, staring at her. His lips
were hard, his jaw taut. His eyes were, for once, unreadable. Eva gripped the
sheets, feeling perilously close to a breaking point. She started to shake. If
Brand could just sit there and watch her fall apart, and not feel a thing…

He
cursed again.

Then
Brand moved out of the chair, climbed into her bed, and shifted Eva so her back
was to his muscular chest. As her body curled into his own, Eva reached back
and trailed her fingers down his side, feeling the strength there, the desire.
His thick erection was a hard length against her bottom and she moved against
it, feeling her kindling hunger ignite.

Perhaps
it was because they were over, but her desire for him had become a living
thing.

Brand’s
arm came around her body, pinned her still.

“Temporary,
Eva. I will hold you – tonight. But remember, you were the one who said
we were temporary. Unless you think we’re more than that?”

Eva
stilled as Brand’s words worked through her brain.

She
forced herself to lie still, to ignore the disappointment soaring through her
aching body. After a moment, her hunger abated. Slightly. Eva relaxed into him,
feeling the ridge of his erection as she stared at the dark wall of her closet,
at the old clothes hanging inside, and tried to think.

It was
better this way.

Eva
pulling Brand’s scent into her lungs, and let the anxiety drain from her. Brand
shifted forward, gently kissed the back of her neck. “We’ll find her,” he said
softly.

Eva
didn’t say anything. She stared at the dark wall, studied the paneling. This
had been her mother’s room before her. She and Rainey used to share the other
room – the room that was now Rainey’s. There were so few things in this
house that were her mother’s. There were so few things in this house that were
Eva’s
.

Nothing
ever lasted. Not truly.

“That
door today,” Eva said to the darkness before her, the presence before her, “in
the Resh’s house. He held her funeral there.”

“Whose
funeral?”

“My
mother’s.”

She
felt his breath catch. She could tell he was waiting. Eva twined her fingers
into the crumpled sheets, wadding them into a ball, as the steady rhythm of his
chest resumed at her back.

“She
drank drain cleaner. Drain cleaner and antifreeze. She killed herself. The Resh
didn’t want her to leave the Gens, but she left anyway.” Eva stared into the
dark as his arms tightened around her, squeezing almost painfully. Anchoring
her. Eva shivered. What she had said – it wasn’t something she had ever
told anybody. But she had needed to say it, Brand had needed to know. And now
that the words were out, now that he knew why nothing could ever last, her body
relaxed. The tension leached out of Eva as she drifted toward sleep, cocooned
in Brand’s arms, Brand’s scent. But before she drifted away entirely, she
touched his clenched hand, soothing the back of it so he would know.

“Everything’s
temporary, Brand.”

Brand
Kade stared for a long time at the woman in his arms.

Everything’s
temporary
.

Well at
least he knew now why she thought that. Not that it made him feel any better.
Not that it made the bond they shared any easier.

The
knowledge that Eva’s mother had killed herself didn’t make anything easier,
because – Brand sighed, stroking his fingers through the silky waves of
her hair – Eva was so utterly
convinced
. All of the beautiful
stubbornness Eva possessed was being channeled into a fierce belief that
nothing could ever last.

Worse,
she was right. They might die tomorrow. Everyone died. Just because Kaspian
were stronger, faster and lived longer than mortals, didn’t guarantee their
lives were any safer.

If
anything, immortality guaranteed their lives would be more violent. Immortality
guaranteed that – if and when a Kaspian died – it would be a
tragic, painful, end.

That
was what all their futures held.

But
what Eva refused to see was that was why Kaspians had to make their lives
count. They had to love their family, protect their family. And if and when a
blood tiger found his amati… Brand sighed, kissing her forehead. He let his
lips travel to her ear, her jaw. He nibbled her throat, not enough to leave a
mark, not enough to draw blood, and was gratified by her sigh, the deep scent
of her arousal filling the room as she shifted against him, onto her back.

If and
when a blood tiger found his amati, he would never let her go. Because there
were no second chances. A blood tiger might follow his amati to North Carolina
if need be, but he would never let her go.

God
knew Brand wasn’t taking any risks.

But he
couldn’t force Eva to stay – not against her will.
That
he had
come to realize. And he sure as hell didn’t deserve her. Not after what he had
taken from Khael. Perhaps this was fate, karma, whatever, laughing at him.

Brand’s
lips dipped lower, found her collarbone. He shouldn’t be doing this. He had
told himself he wouldn’t do this. When this was over, he would keep her…but Eva
needed to understand that she was
his
.

“
Brand
,”
Eva moaned sleepily, not truly awake, and shifted forward, rolling her
shoulders so the neckline of her tank top dipped. Brand followed the trail of
that cloth downward with his lips, to the soft, giving flesh of her breasts. He
skimmed the upper curves, licking the hardened points through the flimsy
cotton. He suckled until she groaned, her arousal becoming so palpable that the
throbbing of his cock became more than painful.

Too
close. Any closer and he wouldn’t stop.

Brand
was rising away when he saw it.

A thin
red-black line crawled up the pale inner slope of her right breast. He wouldn’t
have thought anything of it, except…

Fuck
.

He
pulled down the neckline of her shirt, exposing the creamy round of flesh.
There, right over her heart was a fucking....

…was
his
fucking mark.

He had
Marqued her.

“God
damn,” Brand swore, staring at the red-black lines. It was partially matured. The
lines were still faintly blurry, not yet crisply defined, but they had
solidified, forming a spiraling shape half the width of his palm. It was
mesmerizing, beautiful, sinuous – and gave the impression of a unified
whole. The blurriness would disappear after they completed the bond.

If
they
completed the bond.

Brand
had no idea what the hell the shape of it meant. None of the Marques formed
anything comprehensible. But each design was unique between amati, as unique as
a shared fingerprint. If Eva ever bit him, his Marque would form her match.

Emotion
shook Brand. His hands trembled, and he carefully put them down onto the bed,
one on each side of his amati, as he tried to steady himself. He had Marqued
Eva. Somehow, he had Marqued Eva.

It was
the first step…

It must
have been the last time they were together. When he thought he tasted her
blood.

Brand
grit his teeth. There was no good way to explain this.

And
when he did…she would hate him.

Oh hell
, Brand
thought dimly, as he stared at the nascent Marque. At her breast. These moments
were supposed to be beautiful moments, sacred moments. Not moments like…this.
Not moments that ended with fighting and anger and his amati wanting to leave.

Maybe
he deserved to end up like Khael. He was about as good at this as Khael had
been.

He
couldn’t let her go.

“Brand?”
Eva murmured, sounding a fraction more awake. Her eyes were closed, but she
reached unerringly to tangle her fingers through his hair.

Brand
inhaled. Then – because he couldn’t help himself – he leaned down
and swiped a lick over the Marque on her breast. Because Eva was
his
.

Spring
rain and freedom, sunlight and leaves. Eva’s Marque carried both their tastes,
both their scents. It was the symbol of their potential bond. Eva shuddered and
gasped the air into her lungs on a stunned, shocked moan and her eyes flashed
open.

Brand
brushed a kiss over her Marque, treasuring it for that bare space in the way it
was meant to be treasured. Treasuring Eva.

Then he
raised his face and met her silver wide-eyed gaze.

“Have
you changed your mind?” Eva said with sleepy hopefulness, running her fingers
through his hair so that Brand’s heart ached. “One last go-round?”

He
kissed her, a fierce kiss, and she caught his lips, tangling her mouth with
his. Then Brand pulled away and said, “No.”
Nothing ‘last’ about it.

Her
expression turned to an almost mutinous disappointment.

It was
adorable.

“Go
back to sleep, Eva. We have to leave early.”

After a
moment, she whispered, “Don’t say I didn’t offer,” then turned away as she let
her eyes drift shut.

Brand
waited until Eva’s breathing steadied before he rolled onto his back and pulled
her body up over his chest. Eva curled into him, fitting her body to his own.
As he smoothed his hand down her spine, he imagined he could feel her Marque
pressed against his heart.

He had
Marqued her – things had changed.

He
still needed to tell her.

It was
a long night.

The
next morning, Eva tossed a few treasured possessions into an oversized black
duffle and slung it over her shoulder. Then, after securing her feet in her
favorite pair of running shoes and stealing Rainey’s blue fleece jacket, she
brushed her fingers through her short dark waves and joined Brand, Joshua and
Kevin in front of the house.

“You
ready?”

Eva
nodded, steadily meeting the question in Brand’s gaze.

She
wasn’t going to return. Ever.

Brand
gave a short nod, and swung around to survey the trees. “Then I’ll let you lead
the way out of here. Since,” his voice was dry as he glanced back toward the
Turner Gens, “we seem to have lost our transportation.”

Eva
flashed him a shaky smile, before starting down the path through the trees. One
thing she had never expected was to be leaving the Turner Gens so openly.
Another thing she never expected was to be leading three Stronghold warriors in
her wake.

Despite
her worry, despite the fear for Rainey that had settled like cold thick iron in
her stomach, Eva’s heart lightened.

She
leaving. For good. She had dreamed of this for years.

As they
cut through a branch in the trail and turned toward the edge of the park, Brand
came to walk beside her. “You’re glad to be leaving,” he observed.

“Yes.”
Eva linked her hands firmly around the duffle straps. “I’ve dreamed of it for
years.”

When
they entered the park and came to the point in the trail Rohe’s guards had
taken her, Eva hesitated. Brand’s fingers brushed the back of her hand and Eva
sucked in a breath, turned, and hurried on. The feel of Brand’s touch lingered
on her skin much longer than her momentary fear.

A
figure moved in the trees to the left, just before they cut from the park into
the town. Eva glanced over, met her cousin’s eyes. Her stride hitched, but
Justin just gave a nod and a short wave, regret on his face before he faded
back into the cover. Eva’s breath eased and she turned to the left along the
city walk, toward the business district.

She
understood the regret in Justin’s gaze. No matter how much they didn’t get
along, no matter how much they argued, they were family. Eva, Rainey and
Justin…they were the only close family the other had left.

Kevin,
Joshua and Eva waited outside while Brand went into the rental center. After he
came back with a set of keys, they loaded the SUV, bought their breakfasts, and
began the drive to Vermont.

Eva
rode beside Brand in the front and stared out the window at the old snow
crusting the ditches. They stopped for lunch in Virginia, then supper in New
York. By the time they reached the motel – that same motel Brand and
Joshua had first taken Eva to, in what felt so long ago, it was past midnight.

“Here?”
Eva stared through the darkness of the parking lot, trying to pull the
vehicle’s heat into her bones before she stepped out into the ice and cold. She
tried to keep the trepidation from her voice.

“Does
this bother you?  I don’t think,” she heard Brand frown, “that there are
any other motels in the area.”

Eva
turned from the window and realized that Brand was watching her. “It’s fine,”
she said, weighing her own words, and was surprised to find that they were
true. “Nothing bad happened to me here.”