Memory of an Immortal Heart (Immortal Hearts) (31 page)

Eva
found herself fascinated. “A healer. Better than Brand?”

Nikandria
rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “
Much
better than Brand. I love my
brother, but he’s not good at healing anything beyond skin damage, Eva. No,
Ailuros was…she was
brilliant
. She was Iah’s twin.”

Eva
watched the shadows settle over Nikandria’s face. Then Nikandria shook her head
and slid off the counter, giving Eva an edged smile. “Eva, if you are worried
about your sister, you need to contact her. You won’t be settled enough or
happy enough, to know what to do – or what you truly want – until
you talk to her. And you need to tell Brand exactly what you just told me.”

“You
think so?” For the first time, it occurred to Eva that it might not be so bad
having an empath around. Because if
Eva
couldn’t understand what she was
feeling, at least Nikandria would.

“I know
so.” Nikandria turned and left the kitchen.

Eva
leaned back in her chair, dropping her fingers to trace the smooth grain in the
table as she stared at the dark wood cabinets.

Tell
Brand
.

He
wouldn’t take it well.

But she
and Brand were temporary anyway.
Temporary
, Eva reminded herself,
clenching her fingers against the pain. Of course they were temporary.
Everything in life was temporary. Relationships, family, safety. All temporary.
The only thing she had that was permanent was herself.

Herself
and Rainey.

There
was no way Eva would allow her relationship with her sister to be anything less
than permanent. She
needed
Rainey in her life. And if the only way to
get Rainey to speak to her was to march up to the small house they shared and
pound on the door until her sister answered…then yes.

That
was exactly what Eva had to do.

“How
old are you?”

Brand
glanced at Eva in the mirror as she lounged in his bathroom door. Slowly he
lowered his toothbrush, spat, and washed his mouth out before he turned to
study her. Eva looked wary, as if she were afraid of what he might say –
as if she were preparing herself for a blow.

Brand
had the dark feeling that, where Eva was concerned, there might not
be
a
good answer to that question.

“Why?”
he countered, and watched her lips tighten. Brand sighed, running a hand
through his hair. Okay. Try again. “I was born in 1291 in Aragon.”

Eva
paled. “Aragon. Like ‘Lord of the Rings’ Aragon…”

“
Spain
,”
Brand clarified. “The country.” Nor was he going to correct her
mispronunciation. Eva swayed on her feet, eyes going wide, then abruptly turned
and left. Brand caught her arm before she got halfway down the hall and pulled
her around. “Eva.”

“Are
you
sure?
” Her silver eyes were wide and she looked stunned. “I mean, I
thought maybe a century, then I thought maybe two. I told myself that was fine,
but then you called Nikandria your
younger
sister which meant
five
.
I’m a little slow, but,” she wet her lips, “…is that…are you
sure
…”

“It’s
the year my father wrote in the family records,” Brand said wryly, dim
amusement making its way past his growing worry. His heart twisted at her
expression. “And I don’t doubt his dates, any more than my own or my brothers’
memories.”

Eva
flinched and drew back. Brand forced his fingers to relax, to let her go as she
walked down the hall, retreating to the bedroom. Brand didn’t want to release
Eva. He wanted to pull her close, to draw her scent into his lungs. He wanted
Eva to stop and inhale his scent and know that it was still him. That he was
still Brand. But he knew that if he pulled her close, she would resist.

My
family is right. I need to tell her everything
, Brand
told himself stubbornly as he followed her down the hall.
But if a little
thing like my age throws her like this…
He winced.
If Eva rejected
him, if she ran…the painful sensation that rose in Brand’s chest was edged with
red-hot pain.

The
thought of how long it might take to win her back, if she ran, was killing him.

Decades.
It would be decades. Perhaps centuries.

Brand
pinched the bridge of his nose. It would be bad. But it was nothing like Khael
suffered. Khael didn’t even have memories to comfort him.

Though,
Brand knew, if he had left Khael those memories, his brother would have found a
way to kill himself. Eventually, it would have happened. Eventually, Khael
would have succeeded.

Brand
nudged the bedroom door open. He leaned against the frame and studied Eva as
she stood staring at their bed. He wondered what was going through her mind.

Not
his
bed anymore, Brand realized.
Their
bed. It held both their scents, and
god, he hoped those scents lingered a long time. Long enough.

“How
many woman have you been with?” she asked abruptly.

Brand
grimaced. “No good conversation ever started this way, Eva.” Her irritated
silver glare flickered to him, and he sighed and gripped the back of his neck.
He needed to have his hair trimmed. “Does it really matter?”

His age
bothered her. The thought of his sex life apparently bothered her more.

That
was another reason it was good to wait to tell her.

Except
Brand had the unsettling sensation that time might be running out.

“I want
a number,” she said flatly, crossing her arms as she turned to him, effectively
blocking him away from her body.

Brand
winced. “God, Eva. I have no idea. I’m not the sort to keep count.”

“You
can’t keep
count?
” Her eyes widened, jaw momentarily dropping before it
hardened again.

Brand
swore and stepped toward her, stopping when she moved back. “That came out
wrong. What I meant to say is that I
don’t
keep count, Eva. I’m not the
sort to keep a score.”

Eva’s
expression twisted, and she looked troubled and pained as she stood before him,
her shoulders slumping beneath the too-large sweater she had stolen from his
drawer. “You’re the fifth man I’ve ever been with.” She sounded lost.

Brand
froze, then shook his head and stepped the rest of the way forward until he
could run his hands down Eva’s shoulders and touch her hands. She was cold. “It
makes no difference, Eva. How many I’ve been with, or how many you’ve been
with…it doesn’t mean anything at all between us.”
Because you’re my amati
.
“Though I admit I don’t like the thought of you with another man.” The last
came as a growl.

Eva
just shook her head, turning away. Brand swore. He stood by the bed and watched
as she stared out the window at the snow-covered night. He’d forgotten. The
young always kept score. He had, during his first century. But after that,
there really had been no point.

Then,
because she had brought it up, and because he had to know: “The other four
men?”

“My
high school boyfriend. Then, some men I would meet at the motel. They had
condoms and weren’t looking for attachments,” Eva shrugged, staring out the
window. “Neither was I. It took the edge off.”

Brand
nodded down at his fists, and did his best to keep the snarl trapped in his
throat.

If Eva
left, she would go back to that motel. That job. To those men who “took the
edge off.”

He
would kill any such man. Slowly.

“I
didn’t really care about them.” Eva’s soft voice floated through the twilit
darkness to wrap around him. The moonlight reflected off the snow and made her
face seem almost ghostly. “How about you? Did you…care about any of the women
you were with?”

“Yes,”
he rasped, watching her. “You.”

A faint
smile traced those lips. “I bet you say that to all of them.”

“No.
Just you.” It was true. He might have had fondness for some of the partners he
had before, or friendship, but none of them were Eva.

Eva
turned to study his expression…her face softened. She moved across the room
until she stood before Brand. “I’m an idiot,” she said softly, her hands rising
to settle almost tentatively on his shoulders, “to fall for a line like that.
I’ve seen how these things work. I may not have been with that many men, but I
know a line when I hear one.”

Brand
gave Eva a thin smile that he knew was slightly feral – because it hadn’t
been a line. It was the gods’ own truth. He ran his hands down her sleek spine,
settling his palms on her soft hips. “Why do you always doubt me, Evita?”

“Because,”
Eva rose on tip-toe to brush her lips over his, “you never tell me the truth.”

Brand’s
hold tightened, keeping her off-balance. Eva’s eyes widened. She stared at him.

“I
never tell you the truth,” Brand repeated flatly, scowling as his anger rose.
And alarm. “
When
haven’t I told you the truth, Eva? Remind me. I’m
afraid I don’t recall.”

Their
gazes locked. Then she frowned. “Okay, half-truths. Evasions. Maybe you always
tell me the truth, but it’s not the
full
truth, Brand. Or maybe you
choose not to answer at all. You withhold things. I might not be good at the
whole relationship thing, but even I know you are keeping things from me.”

Brand
struggled with himself. On one hand, Eva considered them to be in "a
relationship.” On the other, he knew Eva was right. He did withhold things. But
there were some things Brand was reasonably sure she didn’t
want
to
know.

He had
a lifetime’s practice of “withholding.” Telling secrets, telling
things
,
didn’t come easily.

“So
you’re angry at me for keeping secrets from you,” he said finally, and felt
Eva’s body tighten against his. “Are you angry with me for not telling you my
age?
That
didn’t occur to me.” True. Most Kaspian didn’t bother
discussing ages. The young were apparent for what they were, and the old didn’t
care.

“And
why didn’t it occur to you?” she asked sharply. “It would have been common
courtesy to let me know that you weren’t…you weren’t a
normal
blood
tiger.”

“I have
no idea what you consider a
normal
blood tiger, Eva. Kaspians are
Kaspians.”

Eva
went quiet, studying his face. Then she sighed. “Okay, maybe not. But Brand, I
don’t like surprises.”

Brand
relaxed his grip, letting her drop down onto the heels of her feet. “I thought
that was a mark of the very old. Not the very young.”

“And I
don’t like being called ‘young.’ Not by you. It shouldn’t matter how old I am,”
Eva snapped, gaze narrowing arbitrarily as she tugged away again. Instead,
Brand sat on the bed, pulling her down onto his lap. Eva came unwillingly, her
body stiff, but she did agree to settle across his thighs as he wrapped his arms
around her waist. Finally, she turned her face toward him with a sharp, “What?”

“If it
shouldn’t matter to me how old
you
are,” Brand said quietly, making sure
he made his point, “then how old
I
am shouldn’t make any difference at
all.”

Her
silver eyes flickered, fell. She wet her lips and frowned. “It’s not that
easy,” she responded, and an odd affection rose in Brand despite their
conversation. Stubborn to the end; that was his Evita.

“Then
work on it,” he murmured, and kissed the lids of those phenomenal eyes. “If you
want easy…I can make it easier.”

“Brand,
facts are facts, and what we have, it won’t last. Things like this never do…”

He
caught her earlobe in his teeth and gave a gentle bite – nothing like he
wanted
to do – but it effectively cut off what she had been about to say. Her
words had sounded stilted anyway, as if Eva didn’t believe them any more than
he did.

He
hoped to god Eva didn’t believe them.

Brand
nibbled his way down to her lips, tracing her jaw. He licked the seam of her
mouth, and stroked the line of her back, coaxing Eva until she gasped and
opened to him. Brand swept his tongue inside, tasting
Eva
, and gave a
low, appreciative growl. She tasted of clear spring rain, of cool morning, of
the running breath of freedom.

She
tasted of desire and of him.

Brand
cradled her neck and kissed his way down her throat, tasting the delicate skin
on his tongue, enjoying her flavor. She tasted like a female should taste. His
female. He growled and moved back up to claim her mouth again.

“It’s
not just that, Brand. I need to go home,” she breathed against his lips.

Brand
stilled, pressing Eva’s body to his as he tried to fit her words into his mind.
“You want to go back to the rooms Nikandria gave you? You’d prefer to do this…
there
?”
he asked, deliberately misunderstanding what she said as he tried to gather his
thoughts. He let a low purr creep into his words and he dropped his palm to
smooth over the soft warmth of her breast.