Lost Innocence (64 page)

‘Actually, it was my mother he told. He wrote her a letter, over a year ago, telling her what your affair had meant to him, and how his family always had and always would come first. I could show you the letter, but I won’t, because it belongs to me and my children, as did he. You had no right to him, Sabrina, either when he was alive, or now he’s dead. So go away. We don’t want you in our lives any more.’

As Alicia turned round something inside Sabrina suddenly snapped, and launching herself forward, she slammed her fists into Alicia’s back, sending her crashing into the door.

Stunned from the blow, Alicia barely registered Sabrina grabbing a rock; she only saw it at the last moment and managed to spin away before it smashed into her head.

‘Noooo!’ June yelled, leaping out of the car.

Sabrina spun round as June came racing towards her. ‘Stay back, June,’ she warned. ‘She’s had this coming.’

‘No, no,’ June begged, tripping as she dashed in through the gate.

Darcie flung open the door. ‘Mum!’ she cried, seeing Alicia picking herself up from the ground. ‘What is it?’

‘Go back inside,’ Alicia gasped, pushing her in.

Darcie screamed as Sabrina threw herself at Alicia again.

Just in time Alicia ducked out of the way, then she was on her feet, dragging Darcie into the hall and slamming the door behind them.

‘You bitch!’ Sabrina shrieked. ‘You’re taking everything that’s mine and I won’t let you.’ She stood back and hefted the rock straight through the sitting-room window.

‘Robert,’ June panicked into her mobile. ‘You have to come. We’re at Alicia’s and Sabrina’s…Oh my God, she’s lost it.’

Inside, Alicia was huddled with Darcie in the kitchen.
They both gasped and flinched as another window was broken at the front. They could hear Sabrina screaming and ranting, but Alicia’s hands were over Darcie’s ears, trying to block out the madness.

‘What’s the matter with her?’ Darcie cried. ‘Why’s she doing this?’

‘She’s … I don’t know,’ Alicia answered shakily. ‘I’m going to call Uncle Robert.’

As she grabbed the phone she jumped as another rock smashed through a window.

‘You don’t belong here!’ Sabrina was screeching. ‘This is my and Robert’s house…’

June was trying to grab her. ‘Sabrina, please stop,’ she begged.

‘I want to kill her,’ Sabrina hissed savagely. ‘She’s the reason I’m losing everything. She’s to blame…’

‘Sabrina, Darcie’s in there. She’s just a child…’

‘I don’t care,’ and shoving June out of the way she scooped up another rock.

‘Sabrina, you have to get a grip,’ June begged, trying to snatch it away. ‘People are watching…’

‘Let them. I want everyone to know how much she’s taken from me,’ and with all her might she flung the rock at the playroom window.

‘Oh my God,’ June muttered as the glass smashed into a thousand pieces.

‘Sabrina!’ Robert shouted as he ran into The Close.

She spun round, and when she saw him she yelled, sneeringly, ‘Here he comes, riding to his sister’s rescue. I’m starting to have my suspicions, you know, always putting her first… What the…?’ she growled as June wrenched both her arms behind her.

‘For God’s sake, pull yourself together,’ June muttered as Robert ran in through the gate.

‘What’s happening?’ he demanded, looking at June. ‘What’s she doing here?’

With helpless eyes June said, ‘She came to apologise…’

‘What?’

‘I’m sorry, I thought it might be all right.’

Catching hold of Sabrina as she broke free of June, he
turned her towards him and was about to demand an explanation when Nat and Annabelle came running down the street. ‘Mum rang,’ he shouted. ‘What’s happening?’

Sabrina recoiled. ‘Keep that boy away from me,’ she spat. ‘He’s evil. He’s a rapist…’

Clapping a hand over her mouth, Robert said to June, ‘We have to get her home.’

‘I’ll get her car,’ June said.

‘Mum, what’s the matter?’ Annabelle cried, looking terrified as Sabrina started to scream and scream as though unable to stop.

‘Nat, go inside and make sure your mother’s all right,’ Robert barked.

Digging out his keys, Nat threw a look over his shoulder to Sabrina and Annabelle, then opened the door.

‘I’ve always hated you too,’ Sabrina yelled as he disappeared inside. ‘I hate him,’ she told Annabelle. ‘He’s no good. He raped you…’

‘Mum, stop, please,’ Annabelle begged.

Robert had hold of Sabrina, but she was struggling ferociously to try and get free. Her hair was like a torn nest and her cheeks were streaked with tears and mascara. ‘This is your fault,’ she raged at Robert. ‘You’re throwing me out. You don’t want us any more…’

‘Sssh, stop this, please. Now!’ Robert commanded, giving her a shake.

‘I can’t,’ she gulped. ‘I’m…Oh God, Robert, I can’t stand it. I can’t take any more…’

Pulling her against him he held on to her tightly, and as she shuddered and gasped with despair, he felt himself filling up with guilt and dismay. She was right, this was his fault. He should have realised how close she was to the edge, how hard their talk would be for her to take.

‘Please don’t make me leave,’ she begged, clinging to him. ‘You’re all I’ve got. I won’t be able to survive on my own.’

‘What about me?’ Annabelle said. ‘You’ve still got me.’

Sabrina looked at her blankly. Then, seeming to realise who she was, she started to sob. ‘Annabelle, my baby,’ she gasped, covering her face with her hands. ‘What have I done to you? Why do you hate me?’

‘I don’t,’ Annabelle cried, going to her. ‘You just…’

‘Sssh,’ Robert said, gently cutting her off. ‘Let’s get her home. There’ll be time later for everything else.’

‘Yes, I want to go home,’ Sabrina wailed. ‘Please take me home.’

‘June’s here with the car,’ he said soothingly, and guiding her towards it he nodded for Annabelle to open the gate.

‘Is Annabelle coming?’ Sabrina choked.

‘Yes, I’m here,’ Annabelle said, slipping an arm cautiously around her.

‘I’m going to call the doctor and ask him to prescribe something to help calm you down,’ Robert told her quietly.

‘Yes, yes,’ she agreed. ‘I need to calm down. I shouldn’t have lost control like that, but I couldn’t help it.’ She looked at him anxiously, her head and shoulders still jerking with sobs. ‘She tried… She tried to say Craig didn’t love me,’ she said haltingly, ‘but I know he did. It doesn’t matter now though, does it?’

‘No,’ he answered, and opening the back door of the car he waited for Annabelle to get in first, then eased her mother in beside her. ‘Take her back to the house,’ he said to June. ‘I’m going to make sure my sister’s all right, then I’ll follow you over.’

‘No!’ Sabrina shouted. ‘I’m the one who needs you now.’

‘I’ll be there,’ he told her, ‘now please try to pull yourself together for Annabelle’s sake, as well as your own,’ and leaning past June through the driver’s window, he hit the button to child-lock the doors.

June looked up at him, and after giving him a small smile of sympathy and encouragement she drove off. They’d been here before, and she felt as saddened and worried as he did that they were here again.

‘Are you all right?’ Robert said to Alicia as he followed Nat into the kitchen.

‘I’m fine,’ she answered, turning from dabbing away Darcie’s tears. ‘A bit shaken up, but we’ll survive.’

Darcie’s eyes were dark with confusion as she looked at her uncle. ‘What’s the matter with her?’ she wailed. ‘Why did she shout at Mum and break our windows like that?’

Both Nat’s and Alicia’s eyes went to Robert, anxious that he would realise that Darcie was too young to have her illusions about her father shattered yet.

Pulling up a chair to lower himself to Darcie’s height, Robert said, ‘She’s not well, sweetheart. She couldn’t help herself, so we’re going to get her some help. Now, I don’t want you to worry that she might do it again, because I’ll make sure she doesn’t.’

‘But what’s wrong with her?’

He sighed and stroked her hair. ‘She has a lot of problems going back a long way,’ he told her, ‘maybe as far back as when she was a child and her mother ran off and left her.’

Darcie looked troubled. ‘Why did her mother do that?’ she asked, seeming unable to comprehend such a thing.

‘She met another man and so she left Sabrina with her father, who went on to have lots of different girlfriends. This meant that Sabrina was brought up never really knowing who her mother was, and not being very well cared for either.’

Darcie glanced at Alicia. ‘You’d never leave us, would you?’ she said worriedly.

Alicia smiled. ‘Of course not,’ she assured her, while hiding her surprise. She hadn’t known that about Sabrina’s past.

‘Actually, I feel sad for Sabrina now,’ Darcie decided.

Nat turned away, and Alicia put a hand on his shoulder. When he looked at her she gave a brief shake of her head. Now wasn’t the time to be condemning Sabrina further, especially not while Darcie was around.

Getting to his feet, Robert said, ‘I should go and see how she is. Oh, and I’ll find someone to come and take care of the windows.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Alicia said, walking him to the door. ‘I’ll give Rachel’s Uncle Pete a call. He’ll know what to do.’

As they stepped outside he said, ‘Are you sure you’re all right?’

‘Honestly,’ she promised. Then, after giving him a hug, ‘So you’ve asked her to leave?’

He sighed and drew a hand over his face. ‘I don’t know
if it can happen while she’s in this sort of state,’ he said, sounding doubtful about everything. His eyes came to hers. ‘I blame myself for today,’ he confessed. ‘I should have realised how fragile she was. Apparently, asking her to go was the final straw.’

Hugging him again, she said, ‘You weren’t to know she’d react the way she did.’

‘I should have,’ he argued. ‘I saw the way she was before…I think it’s worse this time. I have to get her some help.’

‘It’ll be for the best,’ Alicia assured him.

He nodded soberly. Then, seeming to brighten a little, he said, ‘Things seemed to go well between Nat and Annabelle, so with any luck that little nightmare’s in its dying throes.’

Alicia smiled weakly, knowing it would be a long time before anyone forgot this terrible summer. ‘I’m sorry you’ve still got so much to deal with,’ she said. ‘You know, if there’s anything I can do…’

He gave her a look of gratitude. ‘I have a lot of thinking to do over the next few days,’ he said wearily. ‘It’ll help having you here to talk things through with, if that’s OK.’

‘Of course,’ she told him warmly. ‘I’ll always be here for you, you know that.’

After touching her face with an affectionate hand, he turned to go, the heaviness of his footsteps seeming to reflect the growing burden in his heart.

Alicia stood watching him, feeling his sadness and confusion pulling through her as though they were hers. Knowing him as she did, she had no doubt he’d do his best by everyone before he considered himself. However, she was going to do her utmost to make sure he wasn’t forgotten.

Chapter Twenty-Six

A week later Cameron’s car was parked outside the Coach House, piled high with luggage and a dog bed and all the various bric-a-brac and brochures he’d collected during his forays into the county over the summer.

The first signs of autumn were showing themselves now, with the darker nights drawing in and the edge of a chill crisping the air. For the past hour the sun had been dodging between clouds, and there was a welcome lull in the wind that had turned quite blustery and loud during the night.

‘Let’s hope the rain keeps off until you get back to London,’ Alicia was saying as they finished their tea.

‘The forecast isn’t too bad,’ he replied. ‘I should make it before the storms start again. Is Robert coming over later?’

‘He said he might.’

‘I enjoyed meeting him. He’s a very interesting man.’

She smiled. ‘It did him good to spend some time with you,’ she told him. ‘It took his mind off things for a while.’

Picking up their cups, he carried them to the sink. ‘He’s under a lot of strain,’ he said, ‘but I think he’s come to some good decisions.’

‘They’ll work for the time being,’ she agreed, ‘but I’ll miss him while he’s in London.’

After much soul-searching, and several discussions with a London psychiatrist, Robert had decided to move himself, Sabrina and Annabelle into a rented house in Chelsea for the next few months so that Sabrina could be close to the doctor who was treating her. Annabelle would go to a local school that they were now in the process of sorting, and since Robert had agreed to reschedule his work so that he could be at home more, at least some of the pressure had
seemed to lift from them all. There had been no more talk of him and Sabrina separating, and Alicia knew that in his heart he was relieved that this was not happening, at least for now. The road ahead was going to be difficult enough without putting themselves through the strain of a divorce, and besides, it wasn’t in him to turn his back on the people he loved, particularly when they needed him so much.

‘A part of me doesn’t think Sabrina deserves such loyalty,’ she remarked, as she and Cameron started towards the front door, ‘but at the same time I keep finding myself feeling sorry for her.’

He seemed surprised as he glanced at her.

She shrugged. ‘Knowing something about her background now,’ she said, ‘I can see why she finds it so hard letting go. Anyway, I don’t want to go on detesting her. It won’t get either of us anywhere, and if you’d seen her when she came here…Well, let’s just say she’s clearly suffered for that affair, and maybe it would be in everyone’s best interests now if we all tried to put it behind us.’

There was a look of admiration in his eyes as he said, ‘Do you think you’ll ever be able to get together as a family again?’

She shook her head. ‘I don’t know,’ she answered truthfully. ‘It’s still very early days, and pretty hard to imagine, but maybe one day we’ll be able to. I’d like to think so, anyway, for Robert’s sake if no one else’s. That’s presuming they stay together, and provided she gets through this, I think they probably will.’