Lost in Thought (23 page)

“Much to my surprise, your progress is satisfactory,” she said as soon as Carter was out of earshot.

“Thank you.” As far as compliments went, it wasn’t much of one, but it was more than I’d been expecting.

“I was hesitant to let you work with Mr. Penrose at all, even more so in light of…the developments in your relationship, but it appears as though you are practicing as I instructed.”

“We are,” I said, and it was the truth. As tempting as it was to blow off practicing and fool around with Carter, I
needed
to get a handle on my Sententia gifts. And I wanted to, as quickly as I could. It would make my life easier in general, and I knew mandatory practice wouldn’t last forever. I’d get that hour a week back eventually.

“And so you will continue, so long as I see regular improvement. If at any point I don’t feel you’re developing control at an acceptable rate, your practice sessions will continue with me personally.”

Thankfully it was dark out, so I’m not sure how much of my un-controllable grimace she was able to see. “I understand,” I replied, which seemed safe. Her threat made me nauseous, but at least my reply was a simple truth. I didn’t think I would learn any better if I were

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constantly nervous about performing in front of her, but I didn’t say that either.

She then made me more nervous by saying, “The Perceptum President has been asking about you personally, and I expect that you will do nothing less than impress him. I have guaranteed it myself and will see that it happens.”

“O…Okay. I won’t let you down,” I finished lamely.

“Don’t,” she said. “Good night, Ms. Young.” And with that she turned and left me at my front porch. I didn’t know why the president of the Perceptum would be interested in me, but I knew for sure I didn’t like it.

THE NEXT DAY, I hurried over to the bookstore after volleyball practice to talk to Carter about what Dr. Stewart had told me. I found him behind the counter, reading something as always, and talking to Jill.

Jill. I’d barely seen her since the night I’d caught her, or so I’d thought, running away from my porch. The night Carter and I had started dating. Carter had suggested I try to make friends with her, but I was finding that an impossible task. I may have been paranoid, but I swore she was actively avoiding me.

Without swim practice, we had no classes in common and didn’t share work hour duties. That left seeing her around campus, which only happened occasionally at meals, or at the bookstore. Jill was there frequently, as was I, but aside from small friendly gestures, I was entirely unable to interact with her. Whenever I came in, she seemed to have something to do anywhere but where I was. I could barely say hello to her, let alone befriend her, and especially not ask her if I’d seen her that night.

This time, however, I was unavoidable. They were pretty relaxed at Penrose Books anyway, and there were all kinds of perks when you’re dating one of the owners. I walked right behind the counter to talk to Carter, essentially trapping Jill at the register.

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“Hi,” I said, hugging Carter quickly. I leaned around him and added, “Hey, Jill.”

“Hi,” she practically whispered, and then busied herself with the register. I gave Carter a look that said I-keep-trying-but-this-isn’t-going-to-work. He just gave a little shrug.

“What’s up?” he said out loud. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but this isn’t a time you usually come over here. Your hair is still wet.”

He moved his fingers from around my waist to run them through my damp hair from my post-practice shower. I wasn’t sure which touch I preferred, and was momentarily distracted while trying to decide.

I shook my head—seriously, I
had
to figure out some way to spend more time with my boyfriend—and said, “Uh, I had something to tell you.”

I dropped my voice even more, and told him about my conversation with Dr. Stewart the night before. I didn’t worry about Jill overhearing, since she undoubtedly knew more about the things I was talking about than I did, but I didn’t want anyone who wandered up to hear something they shouldn’t.

Carter listened, studying me with his trademark thoughtful look, and then, when I finished my story, he glanced back at Jill. “I wouldn’t worry about it,” he said, his voice pitched as low as mine. His response wasn’t exactly the reassurance I was hoping for.

“But why would he or she ask about me? I’m no one.”

Carter laughed, and Jill, I was sure, inched closer to us. She was definitely listening. “You’re not no one, Lainey,” Carter said. “You’re a long-lost Legacy with a unique gift and a mysterious past. I’m sure he’s just curious about you and…I wouldn’t worry about it is all.” He glanced over his shoulder at Jill again. Something was clearly up and I didn’t understand it. He grabbed my hand and suggested, “Why don’t we go upstairs and talk about this there?” That was a plan I could totally support, but I didn’t get the chance to agree.

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“Carter!” Jill squeaked from behind him. We both turned to look at her. She blushed, instantly and deeply, a problem with which I com-miserated. “You need to help me bring up the new books before my shift ends, remember?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He turned back to me. “Come over for dinner tonight? Aunt Melinda won’t mind. We can talk after.”

“Can’t,” I said. “I have study group for Chem. And homework.”

Much to my disappointment.

A dangerous smile played over his face and his voice dropped. “I could teach you chemistry…”

It was embarrassing, but I giggled. I couldn’t help myself. “I’m sure you could, but I don’t know how much that would help me pass my test. Besides, I already said I’d go.”

“Tomorrow then,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss, then hugged me close. To my surprise, he whispered in my ear, so low I almost couldn’t hear him, “Don’t worry about this. Really. It won’t be a problem.”

I turned his words over as I left. He clearly meant what he said, but I wasn’t convinced. Somehow, I was sure that this would not just be a problem but a big one.

didn’t get to talk to Carter privately the next day either, but I did have a surprise conversation with someone else. I was headed back to my dorm after last class—I had only an hour before we I had to leave for a volleyball match—when she caught up to me.

“Lainey,” Alexis called. Her voice wasn’t loud and, most surprisingly, it was not bitchy, superior, or angry. Like the last time she found me on campus, she was alone. “Wait. Please?”

I nearly stumbled from shock at the last word. I debated ignoring her, but decided I was too curious to find out what she wanted. That might have been stupid, but I couldn’t imagine what she’d try next and I really wanted to know. Call it morbid curiosity. I guess I was naturally prone to it.

We were in a fairly open stretch of the grounds, between the audi-torium, and the main part of campus. The grass was covered in crusty snow, but it was the fastest way to Marquise House, practically the other end of campus. Alexis looked as great as she always did, if you considered having hair, makeup, and clothes that seemed effortlessly put together paired with a killer body and a flawless face “great.”

Which pretty much everyone did, myself included. It was hard not to

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envy Alex a little whenever I looked at her, so long as she wasn’t talking to or glaring at me.

Of course, if her “please” had made me stumble, her next words almost made me pass out. “I…I’m sorry,” she said. The crazy part was it sounded like she meant it. I knew it was easy to believe anything she said, but I was pretty sure I
actually
believed her. “I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“Wow,” I replied before I could stop it from coming out of my mouth. Actually, I wasn’t sure what else I’d have said anyway; I was too surprised to think straight. I looked around and saw that, yes, we were alone. Her chic but practical boots crunched a little on the snow as she shifted around uncomfortably. For the first time in, oh, probably ever, Alexis looked…awkward. Unconfident, even.

Then a little of the girl I knew and, well, not hated, but really didn’t like, returned. Her spine straightened—it was difficult to say which of us was taller—and a little of her haughtiness came back to her face.

“Look, I get it. You don’t have to accept. It’s not important.”

“Well, I do accept,” I said, “but I’m not sure why you’re bothering.

If it’s not important.” I turned and started to walk away.

“Wait!” she repeated, and tentatively touched my arm. I looked back and saw her features deflate again. “It is important. I…I’m not good at this.”

“If you did it more often, it wouldn’t be so hard,” I said. I couldn’t help myself.

She glared, briefly, but then abandoned it. “You’re right, okay?

You’re right. But I’m doing it now. And I mean it. I’m sorry. I was a bitch and it was stupid and I won’t do it again, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks.” I hesitated, since this seemed like a genuine apology and really, I didn’t want to be fighting with anyone, Alexis included, but I decided to ask my question anyway. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you apologizing now?”

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“Because I have to!” she nearly shouted, and I swear tears started to shimmer in her gorgeous eyes. Color me more shocked. She got her voice back down to normal levels before she went on. “I miss going to the bookstore, and Carter…won’t talk to me, and my friends don’t know how to act, and I don’t have any other way to fix this. And Brooke, she likes you. She…she said I should grow up and apologize like a big girl—she said that to me!—but so I am. I’m sorry.”

If this wasn’t so unexpected, and Alex didn’t look so miserable, I might have laughed. But I didn’t. Even I didn’t want to prolong Alex’s misery more than I had to, it was so painful to see. I silently thanked Brooke for standing up for me—and for being so damn funny—and let Alexis off the hook. “Okay,” I told her. “I believe you. Thank you.”

She nodded, and I practically felt the look of relief that came over her face. “I…Will…” she floundered, but I knew what she wanted to say.

“I’ll tell Carter,” I said.
That
was the important part.

I probably should have been a bitch right back to her, let her suffer, but I didn’t have the heart for it. I’d tell him, and she and her friends would come back to the bookstore like they were never gone. I wasn’t sure it would repair her and Carter’s friendship, but at least I could put an end to some of this silly drama. Besides, if I was being honest, it was the teensiest bit more rewarding to see Carter actively choose my company over hers. So maybe I was a little bit of a bitch, just on the inside.

AS PREDICTED, ALEXIS and her crew returned to hanging out at the lounge almost as if nothing happened. Carter didn’t exactly welcome her back with open arms—I’d probably have smacked him if he did— but he was friendly to most of them and polite, if not entirely warm, to Alex. I could tell she wasn’t completely happy with the situation but was certainly happier than before. She’d even taken to being polite, but

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definitely not warm, to me, which was exactly how I treated her. There was a lot of that going around.

Jill continued actively avoiding me, except for a sudden appearance as a Sunday night dinner guest with Carter and the Revells. She still didn’t talk to me, though she was almost animated in her interactions with the others, Carter especially, but she did stay the entire time I was there until it was time for us to go back to campus. I was beginning to think that, except for our official hour on Wednesdays, I would never get alone time with Carter again.

“She’s in love with him,” Amy said one night as we sat in the bookstore lounge.

Since there were at least two or more candidates for “she” in the room, I honestly had no idea who she was talking about. The “him”

was obviously Carter.

“Jill,” she clarified. “It’s obvious.” The girl and boy in question were currently behind the counter, in quiet conversation. She did look happy, I had to admit.

“Maybe,” I said. I thought I should give her the benefit of the doubt. “She’s like one of the family though.”

“Whatever. She’s in love with him. Even easier for her if she’s ‘one of the family.’ And she was the closest thing he had to a girlfriend in the last year. Must be tough for her to see him with you.”

I didn’t know what to do about that. It wasn’t like I was going to give him up. I shrugged, and glanced at where Alexis and her friends were perched in a chatty group. “I guess I’m lots of girls’ boyfriend stealer.”

Amy gave an effervescent giggle and looked over at Caleb who was sitting next to her, head in a book and earbuds on loud, oblivious to our conversation. “Just keep your eyes off my boyfriend, Heartbreaker, and we’ll be fine.”

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I laughed, but I was only partly paying attention. What Amy had suggested—about Jill, not her boyfriend, of course—had crossed my mind before, but I’d never thoroughly considered it. So I studied Jill across the large room…as she studied Carter while he did something store-related. It looked like he was checking off an inventory form. If I was honest with myself, I could see that she studied him exactly the way
I
liked to study him, when he wasn’t looking, and especially when he was doing something simple.

Carter was a lot of fun when we were hanging out, but he was also very, very serious about so many things and he worked—at one job or another—all the time. Seeing him do something relatively easy and stress-free, like stack magazines or whatever he was doing at the moment, was the best time to watch him. It was almost as good as when I caught him out jogging. Jill looked like she enjoyed the rare opportunity as much as I did. So yeah, she was probably in love with him. And maybe so was I, I realized, though it seemed too early for me to be making declarations like that.