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Authors: Cara Bertrand

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BOOK: Lost in Thought
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“Shoot.”

“I did it,” I said seriously.

“Define ‘it,’ Lane. What did you do? You’re not sick again, are you?”

“Not even close.”

“Spit it out, girl!” she said with a mix of amusement and exasperation. “I’m feeling all suspenseful here, and this is not very quick, by the way, so it better be worth interrupting dreams about my wicked hot boyfriend…”

“How about I tell you maybe I’ve got a ‘wicked hot boyfriend’?”

Silence. “Come again?”

I laughed. “I kissed Carter, Ame. For real kissed him.”

 

134 | C A R A B E R T R A N D

And then she screamed. I held the phone away to save my ear-drums, until I heard her muffled voice, except she wasn’t talking to me. “WHAT?…No, Mom, chill. I’m fine. It’s Lainey. She did something freaking awesome…Yeah, exactly! I’ll totally tell her. Lane?

Lainey?” she said, louder now. “Ok, I’m back. HOLY SHIT. So, for real? Tell me everything. Immediately and in exacting detail. And my mom says ‘way to go!’ which sounds like something only an old person would say, but she means well. Anyway. DETAILS. Now.”

So I told her, as much as I was willing to share, which was far less than she was hoping for.

“Jesus, Lainey, you’re killing me. I’ve been dying to hear about this from anyone for approximately four years, two months, nineteen days, seven hours, and thirty-eight minutes, and all I get is barely more than ‘it was great’?! Why oh why did I have to get Miss ‘I don’t kiss and tell much’ as a roommate? I mean, seriously, Lainey, a girl has needs. Help me out. I tell you everything.”

“Not because I ask you to!” I said on a laugh. “If you look up ‘over-share’ in the dictionary, your pretty face is pictured next to it. I mean your
mom
knew what you were screaming about. But I don’t know what else to tell you. It was awesome. Imagine your best kiss ever, multiply it by ten, and subtract anything he might possibly have done wrong. And I can count his stomach muscles even through his shirt. There. Does that help?”

She giggled. “A little. But I already knew that, about the ridiculous abs, I mean. Let’s just say that track meets were popular events the last few years. I only wish he’d been on the swim team…yeah, anyway. So it really was that good? You’re not exaggerating?”

“Not even a little bit. I can’t think of how it could have been better, unless maybe he hadn’t been wearing a shirt.”

 

L O S T I N T H O U G H T | 135

She breathed a very un-ladylike word. “I always knew it. He does everything well. The boy really is perfect. It’s not fair, but at least he’s for you. Alexis is going to flip the F out. I can’t wait!”

I pushed open the door to the dining hall then and grabbed a tray.

“Try not to tell the whole school before you come back from break, okay?” I told her. “I mean, it’s not like we’re getting married or anything. We just…hooked up.”

She snorted. “Right. That’s all it was. Please, Lainey. I’m a genius, remember? Of course you’re not getting married right
now,
but you will. Someday. I just…know. I don’t need Brooke Barros to tell me this fortune. I can feel it. You two are…something special. But I will restrain myself from spreading the good news, because honestly? I can’t wait to see everyone’s reactions in person.”

 

AMY WAS RIGHT about our being special, though it wasn’t exactly how she thought. Maybe she was psychic too, because as soon as I looked around the mostly empty dining hall for anyone I knew, I saw Brooke Barros sitting by herself at a small table and waving at me.

“For someone so tall and thin, I can’t believe you don’t eat like a bird. I expected to see nothing but coffee and grapes on your tray,”

she said good-naturedly as she eyed my breakfast of coffee, scrambled eggs, toast, and grapefruit, pretty much what I ate every morning.

I laughed. “Not me. Swim practice usually makes me starving by breakfast time, though I guess I don’t have that excuse this morning.”

“I like it,” she said. “Most of my friends survive on air and caffeine, so I always feel a little strange when I sit down with, you know,
bread
on my plate.” She gave a mock shudder and I laughed again. “I just sat down. Would you like to eat with me?”

That was a surprising gesture. Brooke and I were friendly enough when we saw each other on campus, but I wouldn’t have expected her to invite me to hang out with her. I’d always wondered what Brooke was doing with Alexis and those girls, but I figured it had much to do

136 | C A R A B E R T R A N D

with looks, family, and money, all of which Brooke had in abundance.

She was easily the prettiest girl in the sophomore class, with her chest-nut hair, brown and gold eyes, and bow-shaped lips. She was also, I was certain, a Sententia. I wondered if she knew about me.

“I’d love to, thank you,” I said and took the seat across from her.

“Speaking of most of your friends…they don’t like me very much. I’m a little surprised—in a good way—you asked me to sit with you.”

She waved the idea away with elegant, manicured fingers. “Eh.

Who cares what they think? Actually, they’re just jealous of you. Well, specifically,
Lex
is jealous of you. You know, if it weren’t for rooming with Amy, and the whole Carter thing, I suspect Lex would have tried to make you part of the group. Not that you probably would have been. Your look is dead on, but I don’t really think you have it in you.”

“Well thank you…I think, anyway,” I replied. “I’m pretty sure that was all a compliment.”

It was her turn to laugh, a tinkling little sound that I envied. I thought my own laugh was not nearly so feminine. “It was. Nothing about you says ‘rich bitch’ or ‘rich bitch wannabe’ so I’m pretty sure you’d have turned Lex down, flat and final.”

“I don’t think there’s anything about you that says ‘rich bitch’ either, you know,” I said honestly.

More of that tinkling sound. “It’s in me, don’t worry. I was born and bred to be one. Alexis and I actually grew up together. Her mom and my mom lunch together, our dads talk about money together.

That kind of thing. And don’t get me wrong, I like my friends. They’re not all bad, even if sometimes I want to throttle them. But really, I’m friends with Lex because I want to be, not because I feel like I
have
to be. Maybe that’s the difference. She’d probably be pissed if she knew I was making friends with the enemy, but she’s not my social director.”

 

L O S T I N T H O U G H T | 137

Wow. Brooke was…kind of awesome. I was rapidly developing a serious girl crush on her. “Don’t take this the wrong way,” I said, “but I think I might love you a little bit.”

She snorted, and even that she did gracefully. “Ha! Thanks, but I’m pretty sure you don’t swing my way. There’s a certain Northbrook graduate who’d be more than a little disappointed if you did.”

“I have no idea who you’re talking about,” I lied.

“Yeah, ya do,” she said, an amused smile turning up the corners of her mouth. “Lex likes to tell people that he’s gay, but she says that about any guy who turns her down. Not that many do. I don’t think so though.”

“He’s not gay.” I was going for nonchalant, but then I ruined it by blushing.

Her eyes widened. “Oooh. That sounds like you’ve
personally
confirmed it. Yeah?” She seemed almost as excited as Amy was.

“Maybe,” I demurred, and she laughed.

“Nice! I heard that rumor from some seventh grader the other day…but Amy swore to everyone that she’d be the first to know and
she
didn’t, so…” she looked back at me, eyebrows raised in question.

I smiled. “It’s a…recent development. But, uh, would you mind keeping it to yourself? I don’t think we’re really, um, putting a label on anything, you know?”

“Secret is safe with me, don’t worry. I kind of like being alive, and if I were to go spreading that story before anyone else, I’m not sure who would kill me first: Lex or your roommate.”

She stopped and leaned toward me then, a more serious look on her face than I’d seen so far. “Your other secret is safe with me too, honest. Everyone suspects—you
are
Legacy after all—but, oh, I’ll just tell you. I sense desires…I can tell what someone wants most at any given time, and when you sat down you were wanting to know if I knew. And so, now I do. But I don’t know what your gift is.”

 

138 | C A R A B E R T R A N D

I swallowed my toast and looked around hastily. Her voice had been low, but I didn’t feel reassured until I saw that we were practically alone in the dining hall. I also didn’t feel sure in talking about my gift at all, but I decided to take the plunge and tell her. I swallowed again.

“I, um, well, it’s kind of creepy,” I started, then stalled out.

She shrugged. “It’s totally okay, Lainey. You don’t have to tell me about it. I just wanted you to know that you could, if you wanted to.

I’m a good secret keeper. I have to be. You
really
don’t want to know what some people desire most sometimes.”

I hadn’t thought about that. Yuck. Brooke was probably inundated with things she’d rather not know. “Yeesh. You’re probably right about that! But I…I want to tell you. It’s just weird to me. I didn’t know anything about this stuff before a few days ago, and I’m a little unsure how I feel about it. Plus, like I said, it’s a little creepy. I should just spit it out. I…Carter calls me a ‘Grim Diviner’ which sounds a little better than saying I sense, well, death. How people died, or how they’re going to die.”

She gave a sympathetic frown. “Oof. Yeah, sorry, that is a tough one. I’ve sensed some people
wanting
to die, though most of the time they don’t mean it, but knowing that they’re going to, that’s a different story. So you really didn’t know anything about what we are before recently? How did you end up here, as a Legacy no less, if you didn’t?

I’ve never heard of anything like that happening before.”

“Honestly? I don’t know. I mean, I know how I got here, but I don’t know where the Legacy comes from. It’s anonymous. So I’m clueless, but grateful. I like it here, and I guess I belong here too, so it worked out.”

“You’re so
mysterious,”
she joked. “Owner of an anonymous Legacy…able to bag Carter Penrose within moments of arrival…Seriously, I think we’d all like to know your secrets.”

So would I,
I thought.



L O S T I N T H O U G H T | 139

MY AUNT’S ARRIVAL was a whirlwind of hugs and tears—from her— and chatter and laughter, followed by a surprising personal welcome from Headmaster Stewart, who escorted us to my aunt’s even more surprisingly plush guest suite.
She’s
definitely
angling for a donation,
I thought to myself, but the suite was, well, sweet. After she settled, we bundled up so I could give her a full tour of the campus.

It hadn’t snowed yet since I’d been at the school, but it was definitely becoming winter. There was a bite to the air and the bare trees rattled in the chilly breeze. Even so, campus was beautiful on the clear, brisk day, and I enjoyed sharing the school with my aunt. As I told her about it, showing her all my class and favorite buildings, answering her questions about my teachers, schoolwork, and activities, I realized that I really did love it here. The stress of the last few days had slowly eased out of me since the night before, and I was simply happy. Apparently, that was obvious.

My aunt reached over and squeezed my gloved hand. “You’re so happy here, Lainey,” she said. “I can see it in your eyes, and hear it in how you talk about this school. I miss you so much, but now…I can’t imagine wanting to take you from this place. I only wish I could meet some of your friends while I’m here.”

That was a wish I’d planned to fulfill. “Actually…” I said, “there is someone I’d like you to meet.”

She gave me a knowing, eyebrows-raised-in-interest look. “Is it a boy?” I nodded, and she laughed the girly laugh that sometimes made her feel more like my sister than my mother. “Well, this must be an interesting one, because I don’t remember your mentioning a boy in any of our recent weekly conversations.”

I just smiled. She’d never know just how interesting he was.

I led her across the street, first to the coffee shop for something to warm us up and then finally to the bookstore. It was getting toward closing time and there were only a handful of customers on the first

140 | C A R A B E R T R A N D

floor. Carter was behind the register, paging through a newspaper, when we came through the door. The bell jangled and he smiled broadly when he saw us. My aunt leaned close to me as he headed around the counter.

“Well,” she said softly, “I sure hope this is him. My my, Lainey, he’s a pretty one.”

I laughed and tugged her forward. Carter met us halfway between the counter and the door, where he swiftly pulled me close and kissed me on the cheek. “Hi,” he said enthusiastically, with another of those beautiful smiles. Beside me, my aunt couldn’t keep herself from matching him smile for smile.

“Hi,” I returned, while my aunt offered a little “hello” of her own, and then I made my proper introductions. “This is my Aunt Tessa.

Auntie, this is Carter Penrose. He and his Aunt Melinda own the bookstore. He graduated from Northbrook last year.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, Ms. Espinosa,” Carter said earnestly, shaking my aunt’s hand. “Lainey’s told me so much about you these last few weeks, I’m glad to have the chance to meet you in person.”

Aunt Tessa gave Carter an approving once over and then turned to look at me before saying, “Well, Carter, it’s nice to meet you too.

Please call me Tessa. I wish I could say how much I’d heard about you from Lainey, but you’re actually quite a surprise. Fortunately, I like surprises, and you look like you might be a delightful one. I take it you’re dating my niece?”

BOOK: Lost in Thought
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