Learning to Be Little Again (3 page)

“Just as the princess gave up all hope that she would ever ride again, she met a prince. This prince saw how afraid she was, yet behind those big brown eyes of hers, he could see that she had an adventurous spirit. So, ever so carefully, he started to help her.”

I imagined what the prince would look like. For some reason, the picture of Robert in the outfit that the Beast wore when he dressed up in
Beauty and the Beast
, popped into my mind. I sighed as the uncomfortable feeling left my pussy.

“The prince praised the princess when she succeeded in doing something and he gave her a little spank on her bottom when she didn’t. Before the princess could believe it, her courage was back and she was riding Marcus once again. The end.”

I opened my eyes and realized that Robert was all done with the story and my exam.

“You can sit up now, Juliana. I just have a few questions that I have to ask you for my files, but otherwise, we’re done.”

“But what about the princess?” I asked sitting up, not letting go of my teddy bear or my finished juice box. Robert hadn’t finish the story and I wanted him to.

“What about her? She got over her fear. That was the point of the story,” he said, pushing the stirrups back into the table and putting the light away.

“Did the princess and prince ever get married?” I asked, adjusting the gown so it covered all of me.

“Oh. Yes, they did and they ended up having several children together and living happily ever after in their castle.”

“Now it’s the end,” I said happily, handing my empty juice box to him when he held his hand out for it.

“Would you like another juice box? I have more apple juice or grape, if you’d prefer.”

“Grape, please.”

He handed me another juice box and I began drinking it as he sat down in front of the computer again. Then he asked me a bunch of standard doctor questions, and when he finished, he told me he needed to take a few vials of my blood to run some tests.

“I don’t like shots,” I said matter-of-factly as he wrapped the tourniquet around my arm. He cleaned a spot on my arm and then got a needle and a vial ready.

I squeezed my teddy bear closer to me to try and not make me worry so much.

“Don’t worry, Juliana. It’s only going to hurt a tiny bit, I promise. Close your eyes and give your teddy a big hug.”

I did as he told me and had to fight back a whimper when I felt the pinch in my right arm.

“All done, Juliana,” he said, and I opened my eyes to see that he had put a Hello Kitty band aid where he’d taken my blood.

“Thanks,” I said, pulling my teddy bear closer to me.

When he finished, he left the room and closed the door so I could get dressed again. He told me when I finished to open the door and that he would be waiting for me outside.

I got off the exam table, reached for my clothes, and looked at my underwear. Deciding I couldn’t not wear them, I slipped them back on and put the rest of my clothes on too. When I finished, I opened the door to see him standing there, just like he promised.

“I need a urine sample from you,” he said, handing me the plastic cup.

“Okay.” This was another part about the doctor’s office I was not a fan of.

“The bathroom is two doors down to the left. When you’re finished, just put the cup behind the small door in the wall. I’ll be able to do an analysis on it quickly and have the results in about twenty minutes. Would you like to wait in my office after you’re done, or go back out by Mark?”

“I’ll wait in your office.”

“Alright. My office is right across from the bathroom. Would you like me to tell Mark to wait in there with you?”

“Yes, please.” I was about to leave when I remembered I was still holding my teddy bear.
I can’t bring my teddy bear to the bathroom with me.
“What should I do with the teddy bear?”

“I’ll take him and he’ll be waiting for you in my office,” he said, grabbing my bear and giving me a wink before he turned and walked down towards his office.

Chapter Four

After Juliana walked to the bathroom, I quickly ran into my office and placed her teddy bear on one of the seats across from my desk. Then I walked out into the waiting room to talk to Mark.

“Hey. How’d it go?” he asked, standing up and putting his cell phone in his pocket.

“Overall, the experience went fairly well. She got scared a few times, but we worked our way through it.”

“How bad is she? I know that she lost weight, but that won’t have permanent effects on her body, will it?”

The concern in Mark’s voice touched me. On the outside, he acted like the typical tough cop, but on the inside, Mark was the biggest softie. He could never stand to see someone that he cared about hurt.

“I’m not sure yet. I’ll have to run tests on her blood. But, I think that it’s clear to see that the stress from her last relationship is taking a huge toll on her. She is severely underweight, she has a low grade fever, and she looks exhausted. I’m guessing that she’s also is anemic and has multiple vitamin deficiencies.”

“We can fix all that right?” he asked, rubbing both of his hands through his hair.

“Yes. With a healthy diet, getting plenty of sleep, and some exercise, she should be back to a healthy weight range in about three to four months. I would also highly recommend that she see a therapist or at least talk to someone who will help her cope with the situation she was in.” As I said that last sentence, a part of me strongly wished that Juliana would choose me to be that person to talk to, to help her get through all of this. I knew that I could help.

“Thank gosh,” Mark said, sitting back down in the chair and putting his head in his hands.

I sat down next to him and put my hand on his shoulder for a moment. I felt bad for Mark. He was the one who had found Juliana and who had taken care of her these past several weeks. It had to be very hard for him to see her like this. “Yes. She’s in for a long road, but something tells me that she will be able to do it. Listen, I just ran out here quickly because she wants you in my office with her when I tell her about her test results. I have to run and do them now,” I said, standing up.

“Okay. Thanks, man, for doing this. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. I’m glad to help her,” I said as I turned and began walking towards my lab.

As I was walking, I couldn’t help but remember how much fear was in Juliana’s eyes when I was examining her. The entire time I tried to be completely professional and not scare her off. But the entire time, all I wanted to do was bundle her up and take her home where I could give her the attention she needed. Hopefully, someday I would have the right to do that for her.

* * *

I walked into Robert’s office to see Mark sitting in one of the chairs across from Robert’s desk, playing with his cell phone.

“Hi, Mark.”

“Hey. How did the appointment go?” he asked, closing the game and putting his phone in his pocket.

“Pretty good.” I took the seat with the teddy bear on it, placing the bear in my lap and giving it a slight squeeze when I knew Mark wasn’t looking.

“You okay, Juliana? The appointment wasn’t too much for you?”

“I’m okay,” I said, honestly. When we first got here, I was terrified of Robert. But, after the way he’d treated me, I was really starting to like him. I knew in my gut he wasn’t a bad guy.

Mark and I talked for several minutes until Robert came in.

“Thank you for waiting,” he said, carrying what I assumed were my test results and sitting down in his desk chair across from us.

“So, how does everything look?” Mark asked.

Robert settled his gaze on me and I knew the information was not going to be good. “I’m not going to lie. I’m very concerned. Juliana, you’re severely underweight, you have a low grade fever, probably because your immune system is weak. You look exhausted. Your blood work is showing that you’re anemic, meaning that you don’t have enough iron in your blood. You also have a vitamin B-12 deficiency. Additionally, due to your problems going to the bathroom, that’s causing problems with your digestive system.”

I just sat there silently. I knew that my not eating would cause some problems, but I wasn’t expecting this many. I gave my new teddy bear another small hug. I didn’t know how I could fix all of this.

“So, what should I do?” I finally asked, looking down at my lap. I didn’t want to have to face Mark or Robert.

“I can put you on a special diet. Hopefully doing that will help you gain weight and get you healthy again. I also think it would be a smart idea if you were to go and see a therapist to talk about what happened to you. If you want, I know a therapist who specializes with people who participate in the age play lifestyle.”

“No!” I said, looking up from my hands. I was not going to go and see someone who played in this lifestyle. This stupid lifestyle got me in this situation. I was not going to turn to it to get me out of it.

“Alright, calm down. No one will force you to do anything that you don’t want to do. It was just a suggestion,” he said holding his hands up, as if that would calm me down.

I nodded. I hadn’t meant to be so defensive. I just never wanted to act like a little girl again in front of anyone on purpose. That was what had caused all my problems before. If I had been acting older instead of so childishly, I would have seen that Boyle wasn’t a good caretaker. Instead, I got lost in the land of coloring and looking at pretty pictures and didn’t see that Boyle was starting to take full control of my life.

“I respect your decision. Ultimately, everything is your choice. So whether you want to follow what I tell you to do is your decision. Mark and I are just trying to get you better.”

“I understand,” I said, looking down at my lap again.

“Do you, Juliana? I’ve been telling you to go to a doctor for the past month and you never would have if I hadn’t made this appointment for you today and forced you to come,” Mark growled.

I looked up at him and shrank away. He looked so angry. I didn’t like it when that look was pointed at me. It reminded me of the fact that he was a very big, muscular man and I was a small, thin girl. He could force me to do anything if he really wanted to.

“You d-don’t under-understand,” I said, beginning to cry. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t like feeling forced to do anything at all. Especially because the last time I was forced into something it left me in the situation I was in now. I put my head in my hands so neither Mark nor Robert had to see me cry.

“Mark, could you please give us a minute?” Robert asked.

“Sure. I’ll be in the waiting room,” he said, standing and leaving.

I kept my head in my hands as I cried. My teddy bear fell to the ground off of my lap. I felt so embarrassed now. I went to the doctor like he wanted me to. I heard what was wrong with me. I told them no, that I didn’t want to go to a therapist, and now he yelled at me. He wasn’t being fair! This whole situation wasn’t fair!

“Juliana, please look at me.”

I lifted my head to see that Robert was kneeling down in front of me. I hadn’t heard him get up from his chair. He handed me my teddy bear.

“I’m s-sorry.” I cried as I held the teddy bear close to me.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. All Mark wants to do is help you. I’m sure that he didn’t mean to snap at you,” he said, rubbing his hands up and down my arms.

I don’t know what came over me, but I launched myself into his arms. He caught me, wrapped his arms around me, and then moved so that he was sitting in the chair and I was on his lap.

I cried into his shoulder for a few minutes, just letting out my pent-up pain. I hated feeling like this. I didn’t want to, but I just couldn’t get over it. I also didn’t want to think about how good it felt to be wrapped in his arms.

When I finished crying, he asked, “You done?”

I just nodded, not ready to face him yet.

“Juliana, please look at me.”

I shook my head, not ready to look at the man who was still rubbing my back after I’d stupidly cried all over him. I was crazy. He was going to lock me up because I must look like I lost my mind.

“Juliana, look at me right now,” he said in an authoritative voice, a voice I knew meant business.

I looked up at him to see him staring into my eyes, an
d I couldn’t help but blurt out, “I’m sorry!”

“Listen to me, sweetie. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. I know that you were treated poorly by your last daddy and that because of him, you have so many problems today.”

I just nodded my head, not sure what to say as I gave my teddy bear another squeeze.

“I can understand why you don’t like talking to strangers and why you don’t like people touching you. I just hope that one day, you do get better and you let yourself find a new daddy to love and take care of you.”

“I’m never going to find a new daddy again,” I declared.

“Why not?” he asked, looking a little taken back.

“Because I’m never going to play in that lifestyle again. It caused me too many problems.”

“Don’t say that. It wasn’t the lifestyle that caused you problems. It was the person who you played with that caused all the problems. Don’t stop being who you are just because of one really bad experience. Don’t give that evil man that power over you.”

I nodded again, not wanting to tell him that a very small part of me hoped that I would find another daddy too. One who would always put my needs first. One who would always protect me from the evils of the world. One who would punish me when I had done something wrong. One who would love me no matter what.

“I know this is probably a horrible time to ask you this, but I figure why not… Now, I want you to be honest with me. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said, squeezing my bear, afraid of what he wanted to ask me.

“Would you maybe like to go on a date with me? I know this is totally not the right time and technically unethical because I did just see you as a patient today, but I don’t think that I will see you as a patient again. Would you like to go on a date with me?”