Learning to Be Little Again (9 page)

“
No
!”

“Okay then. I’m not going to leave you unless you ask me to.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Okay,” I said sighing, letting my shoulders release the tension I didn’t realize I was holding.
He’s not going to leave. He’s going to stay with you,
I kept telling myself.

“Good. Now please eat your food, sweetie pie.”

“Okay,” I said and did what he had suggested earlier. Turns out, I didn’t taste the asparagus as much as before when I ate it with a forkful of meatball or spaghetti. Pretty soon, the asparagus was all gone, along with the rest of the food that was on my plate.

I felt so full. In reality, I knew that there hadn’t been that much food on my plate, but since I hadn’t been eating as much as I should, a kid’s portion felt like a Thanksgiving Day feast to me.

“Someone was a little bit of a messy eater today,” he chuckled.

I looked down at myself and noticed a few red spots on my bib, but nothing too messy. I looked up at him confused, and then noticed that he was blotting his shirt with a napkin.

I started to laugh as I realized he was referring to himself. “Maybe you should wear a bib too!”

He looked at me and said, “Maybe I should, but how then would people be able to tell which one of us was the daddy and which one of us was the baby girl?”

“Ummm… They would know because… you’re taller!” I said, blurting out the first thing that came to mind as I continued to giggle.

We both laughed and it made me feel happy and that I could let go a little more. If Robert could openly laugh at himself, that went a long way in showing me what kind of person he was.

Chapter Ten

It was music to my ears to hear Juliana laughing. When she did, it made her look years younger and less on guard. I hoped that one day I could put that look on her face permanently, instead of only seeing it on occasion.

I still couldn’t believe that she thought I was going to leave her just because I’d given her a spanking for not eating her vegetables. I made a mental note to reassure her so she knew I would always be there for her.

“What do you want to do now?” I asked her as I finished putting the containers of food away in the refrigerator. I glanced at the clock. It was just about seven forty-five. I planned on putting her down to sleep at around nine fifteen. So, we had plenty of time to play together.

“We could watch TV again… if you want to,” she suggested, looking up at me hesitantly.

“That sounds perfect. I also have a few toys that I brought with me that we could play with when we watch TV.”

“Okay!” she said, nodding her head rapidly.

I quickly went back into her bedroom, grabbed several of the new Barbie dolls I’d bought for her, and carried them back out into her family room. I placed them on the coffee table.

“Are these all for me?” she quietly asked, staring at the dolls.

“Yep. I know how much little girls like playing with their dolls.”

She hesitantly took one at first as I turned on the TV. Tonight, I found a marathon of
Arthur
episodes.

“I don’t like this show,” she said the minute she saw me put the remote back down on the coffee table.

“I do. Come sit down next to me so we can play,” I said, patting the spot on the couch next to me.

She did as she was told and I saw her wince.
Her bottom must still be awfully tender,
I thought, making a snap decision. I got up from the couch to grab something from my bag and came back less than two minutes later to find that Juliana now had a doll in each hand and was narrating a story.

“Sweetie, can you please stop what you’re doing for just a second?” I asked, sitting down next to her again.

She put the dolls down and looked up at me.

“I want you to lie over my lap. I noticed that your bottom was still bothering you, so I have some baby oil that I’ll rub into it.”

She looked at me in shock for a second, but then followed the instructions I’d given her. Once I had her over my lap, I unbuckled the drop seat of her jammies, pulled her underwear down, and poured a dollop of baby oil onto her still red, heated skin.

“There you go, baby girl. This should make you feel all better,” I said, continuing to slowly massage the globes of her butt. It gave me no small amount of pride when I heard her release a contented sigh and her entire body sagged.

When she first got on my lap, I felt how tense she was. But as I kept massaging her bottom, she relaxed. We stayed like this for about five minutes. I didn’t want to stop touching her because she was finally relaxing, but after another couple of minutes, I pulled her underwear back up, closed her drop seat, and helped her sit up.

“Okay. Let’s play with those dolls now!” I said, as we both grabbed two of them.

After an hour or so, the Barbies were put down on the coffee table and Juliana was snuggling up to me on the couch as we watched TV.

It felt really nice. I could feel that she was comfortable and enjoying this, even though at first she didn’t want to admit it. I was glad she was also letting me pet her hair. Half the battle with winning her over was getting her used to my touch. I wanted her to associate my touch with something gentle, instead of something that would cause her pain. The fact that she’d let me massage that oil into her bottom without a fight told me that she was getting more used to me.

I wanted her to know I would never ever strike her in anger and that my touch would always be gentle—unless I was giving her a spanking, in which case, it would hurt her bottom, but I would make sure that afterward, I comforted her so she knew she was forgiven and would never think I was going to leave her.

Before I knew it, it was nine and I decided it was time to get her ready for bed.

“Baby girl, it’s time to get ready for bed,” I said, petting her hair one last time for the night.

“One more episode.”

“No, Juliana. Come on, you can watch more
Arthur
tomorrow.”

“Please.”

“No, baby girl. Come on,” I said, helping her sit up. I could tell by her voice and how her eyes kept having a hard time staying open that she was exhausted. “I’ll carry you. Wrap your arms around my neck,” I said, leaning down.

She did as she was told and soon I was carrying her like I would a toddler. Her head rested on my shoulder and her legs dangled down, barely reaching my knees. She really was a small person.
My small person,
I thought.

As I was walking, she started to wake up more and more. By the time we reached the bathroom, I could feel her tense up in my arms.

I put her down. “Time to brush your teeth.”

She grabbed her toothbrush, put the toothpaste on it, and began to brush her teeth. I watched as she did it, making sure she got every spot. What kind of daddy would I be if I let my little girl get a mouth full of cavities?

When she finished brushing her teeth, I said, “Time to go potty. Now I’ll let you go alone this time. You call me if you need help though, okay?”

Her face was as bright red as a tomato as she nodded her head.

I walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind me, and walked back into her family room. I went over to the couch and picked up her teddy bear, then brought it back into her bedroom so she could sleep with it. Then I pulled the covers back on her bed and fluffed up her pillow. When I turned around, she was standing there, watching me.

“All ready for bed, pumpkin?”

She nodded, and I gestured her for her to get into bed. I pulled the covers up to her neck and said, “I’ll be right back. I have to get ready for bed and then I’ll read you a story.”

“Okay,” she said, taking her teddy bear in her arms.

I left her bedroom and headed for her bathroom, hurrying so I could be with her. I’d been tempted to bring a bottle or a pacifier for her tonight, but I’d decided not to. I wanted to go slow so I didn’t spook her or overwhelm her with age play stuff.

When I returned to the bedroom, Juliana was right where I’d left her. I grabbed the books from my bag and then got in on the other side of the queen sized bed.

“I wasn’t sure what type of books you liked to read for your goodnight story. So, I brought a few.”

“Can we read them all?” she asked me quietly, with big eyes.

I was going to have to talk to her about that tomorrow morning. Any time I asked her what she wanted to do or anytime she voiced her opinion, she said it as if she was afraid I would hit her. I wanted her to be open with me, not afraid that I would hurt her.

“Of course we can, baby girl. Come here, you can lean your head against my shoulder so you can see all of the pictures in this first book.”

She nodded and scooted over by me. She leaned her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her so I was cuddling her while we read.

I ended up reading her all the books that I brought with me before she drifted off to sleep. I smiled as I looked down at her. She looked stress free right now. I hoped that she slept through the night because the dark circles under her eyes told me that she was still having problems with that.

I placed the books on the nightstand, turned the lamp off, and snuggled closer to her as I followed her into dreamland.

Chapter Eleven

Someone shook me and called out my name, waking me from my nightmare.

“
What!
” I screamed as I shot up in my bed, my heart racing. I could feel sweat covering my entire body.

“Juliana, you’re okay. You’re okay, baby.”

I whipped my head around to see Robert looking at me like I was covered in blood instead of sweat. He looked terrified.
What is he doing here
? I looked down at my footie pajamas.
Oh yeah, I’m trying out age play again.

“Juliana?” he asked cautiously.

“I’m fine,” I said, falling back against my pillow and tossing my arm over my closed eyes. I took a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart and to slow my breathing. I didn’t want him to see me like this. He would know now that I was a freak and he would leave me.

I didn’t notice the tears falling down my face until he said, “There’s no need to cry, little one. Your nightmares can’t hurt you.”

I nodded, not chancing that I wouldn’t start sobbing if I tried to talk to him.

“Come here,” he said, opening his arms.

I opened my eyes and moved my arm off my face, hesitating for a minute. It still felt weird to me to act like a little girl in front of him. After my first experience, I was leery towards everything age play related.

“I’m not going to bite, I promise,” he said again with a look of encouragement on his face, and before I even consciously made the decision, I was crawling into his lap.

“That’s my good girl. I’m right here. Nothing can hurt you while I’m here,” he said, wrapping me up in a strong hold. He just held me in his arms for a while, not moving or saying anything. Words weren’t needed for this. Just sitting in his lap, feeling the bulge of his muscles tight around me, made the tears go away and my fear subside.

After ten minutes or so, I took a deep breath and looked up at him. “Thank you for the hug. I feel better now.”

“Are you sure you feel better? I could hold you like this all night if you want.”

I had to think about that for a minute. It was a tempting idea, but I didn’t want to make him stay up the entire night.

“No, thank you. I am actually getting sleepy again,” I said with a yawn.

“That’s good. My baby girl needs to get her beauty sleep so she grows into a big, strong girl someday.”

“Girl? Don’t you mean I’ll be a big, strong woman someday?”

“Nope. You’ll always be a girl to me. My baby girl,” he said, tickling my stomach.

I burst into giggles and didn’t stop until he stopped tickling me.

“Before you go back to sleep, though, I think it would be a smart idea to change your jammies. They’re soaked with your sweat and I want you to be comfortable. Do you want to take a shower too?”

“No. I’ll wait to shower until tomorrow.”

“Okay. I only brought one pair of footie pajamas tonight, so can you tell me what drawer you keep your pajamas in?” he asked, getting out of bed and walking over to my dresser.

“The two bottom drawers. The one on the left holds pajama shirts and the one on the right holds pajama pants.”

“Okay. Thank you.” He rummaged around in the drawers and came up with a pair of colorful polka dot flannel pajamas. “Time to stand up and put your new jammies on, little girl.”

I did as I was told and Robert helped me put them on. I had to admit, this helped me feel better too. I jumped back into bed and looked up when he didn’t follow.

“I’ll be right back, sweetie,” he said, before he left my room.

I wasn’t sure where he went until he came back holding a glass of milk with a straw. He sat down on the bed and said, “Here, baby girl, this should help you fall back asleep.” He held the cup and patted the spot right next to him.

I wasn’t sure I was ready for this.

“Juliana, trust me,” Robert said, and I ended up crawling next to him. He wrapped his arm around me and held the cup as I put the straw to my lips. I slowly began to drink, finding that the warm milk was heating my body from the inside out. Before I knew it, my eyelids were starting to grow heavy. My head fell against Robert’s shoulder and I didn’t stop drinking until I finished every last drop.

He pulled the straw from my mouth and turned us both so we were lying on our sides. He still had his arm wrapped around me, making me feel extra safe. He whispered in my ear, “Go back to sleep, baby girl. I’ll be right here protecting you.”

“Okay,” I said, not opening my eyes, and soon I was asleep.

* * *

I opened my eyes and realized it was morning as the sunlight was streaming through the cracks of my blinds. I glanced first at my clock and saw it was eight in the morning, and then I glanced at Robert to see that he was still sound asleep with his arm wrapped around me.