Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies (24 page)

BOOK: Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies
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“Interesting ... I didn't think you were into skinny women.”
“I didn't think you liked assholes, but you almost slept with one last night.”
“That's not funny.”
“Who's laughin'?”
Victoria could see that her comment had hit a nerve, which let her know that Tyler's feelings for Samantha must be strong, and growing. “It was just an observation. I didn't mean anything by it,” she said in an attempt to smooth things over.
Tyler shrugged his shoulders. “No biggie.”
“So where do you see things going between the two of you?”
“I'm flying to D.C. to visit her next weekend. We're just gonna hang out, have a good time, and see where it leads.”
“You're prepared to have a long-distance relationship?”
He smiled. “Like I said, we'll see where it leads.”
“Tyler, you keep it real with me, so I'm gonna keep it real with you.” Victoria leaned in close to her friend. “Be careful with Samantha. Go slow and make sure this is for real.”
“I'll take that under advisement. But believe me, I'm a big boy, and I know what I'm doing. Besides, you have entirely too much shit on your own plate to be worrying about me.”
Victoria could only nod her head in agreement, because he was right, and she knew she was the last person who was qualified to give anyone a shred of relationship advice. “I hear you.”
A short time later Victoria walked Tyler to the door. “Thanks for being there for me. I'm so glad I can always count on you,” she said, giving him a hug.
“I'm gonna always have your back, you know that.” Tyler smiled. He hoped Victoria would be strong in the face of her current storm. But despite his hopes and best wishes, he had a feeling that his best friend was already in over her head and was speeding toward disaster.
No Wonder Tyler's So Scared ...
After Tyler left, Victoria took a long soak in the tub. She slipped on her cream-colored silk teddy and sprayed lavender-scented body spritzer on her skin, preparing to relax her mind and body before heading to bed. But the harder she tried to clear her head, the more she kept thinking about the situation she'd gotten herself into and the conversation she'd had with Tyler.
It hadn't occurred to her that Ted might react violently in any situation. She'd thought about various scenarios of what might happen if he found out that she had fooled around with Parker, loud arguments and a possible threat of separation being just a few of the things she knew could happen. But based on his nature, never in her wildest dreams had physical violence entered her mind. Ted was always cool and composed, especially in difficult situations.
But the more she pondered the possibility, the more plausible it seemed. As it was, his behavior had already started to change, and she was pretty sure that he had told her a few lies when they were in Boston, and then again when she spoke to him today. It was something he'd never done before, at least not to her knowledge.
Then a thought came to her, one that sent chills through her body as she crawled into bed. She remembered the hot July night many years ago when he and Parker had nearly come to blows at her front door.
She had just broken up with Parker after she caught him cheating, and she was an emotional mess. Ted had come by to bring her dinner and comfort her, hoping to woo her in the process. After their meal, when they were about to get cozy, Parker showed up unexpectantly, begging for forgiveness and a second chance. During the middle of his plea Ted had come to the door, and that was when things turned ugly. The two men cursed and threatened each other with physical violence. The only reason they hadn't rumbled like street thugs was because her nosy neighbor was taking her dog for an evening stroll. She had seen the commotion and had walked up, threatening them with pepper spray and a call to 911.
Like many things in her life, Victoria had pushed that memory to the side, but now, as she lay in her empty bed, full of uncertainty and fear, it was something that commanded her attention.
This isn't good,
she said to herself.
No wonder Tyler's so scared.
And now she knew that she should be, too!
As Victoria nestled her pillow under her head, yet another thought sprang into her mind, something she'd completely overlooked. She was so focused on Ted's possible reaction that she had forgotten about what Parker might do. He was a determined, strong-willed man, just like Ted, and he was persistent, the type who refused to take no for an answer. The very thought of how he might react once she hammered home her point tomorrow sent fear through her veins. “What have I gotten myself into?” she whispered in the dark.
Chapter Fourteen
Whatever Road He Had to Take ...
T
he next afternoon Victoria found herself standing in the front entrance of the Spring Garden restaurant, waiting for Parker. It was a hole-in-the-wall establishment, but its saving grace was a delectable array of Asian delights and its virtual anonymity. It was situated in an area that was private and under the radar. Victoria hated creeping, but the fact that her short-lived indiscretion was soon coming to an end gave her a little relief.
She looked at her watch, noting that Parker was running late. On her drive over she had questioned whether she could trust herself to meet with him, thinking that she might be better off telling him what she had to say over the phone. But she knew she had to act just as boldly to get herself out of the situation as she had going in.
Victoria waited a few more minutes, but still no Parker. She was about to call him when he walked through the door. He looked sexy as hell in his faded jeans and Howard University T-shirt. He breezed in, confident and strong, giving her a smile that made her stomach do small flips.
Focus,
she told herself.
You know what you have to do.
Parker gave her a warm hug that lingered a bit too long for Victoria's comfort before she finally pulled away.They walked to a table and were seated in a small booth near the back of the restaurant. After they placed their orders, Victoria looked at him as he unfolded his napkin, placing it on his lap. She wished she hadn't ordered, and now she was trying to decide whether she should tell him before or after their food came out.
Now that she was sitting across from him, she was glad that she had decided to meet him face-to-face. As Tyler had said, Parker was the type of man who required force and tangible proof, and even then that might not be enough.
She decided to jump straight in. “Parker, the only reason I'm meeting you here today is because I wanted to look you in your eyes and tell you that we have to end this. Please don't call, text, or e-mail me. This has to stop.”
Parker had known that Victoria was on edge from the moment he walked into the restaurant. From the stilted hug she'd given him when he greeted her to the uncomfortable body language that made her shift in her chair, he knew that she had something on her mind.
He didn't delude himself. He knew that between the two of them, it was she who was taking all the risks. Fidelity was important to her, and it was plain to see that she was wrestling with the fact that she felt like she'd cheated on her husband. But he wanted her back, so he was prepared to walk down whatever road he had to take. He shook his head. “You don't really mean that.”
“Yes, Parker, I do.”
They were interrupted when the server brought out their food. Parker didn't even look at his pepper steak, and Victoria asked the server to take back her steamed vegetable platter altogether.
“Parker, I won't deny that the moments we shared were special. I don't make a habit of jumping into the arms of other men on a whim. But we can't continue to see each other. We've got to end this now, before anyone gets hurt.”
Parker sat back, looking at Victoria with intensity. “Are you happy?” It was a question and subject that neither of them had yet to broach.
“I have a good life.”
“That's not what I asked.”
They sat in silence, staring at each other.
“Why did you come to the hotel,Victoria?”
She took a moment. “I never got you out of my system. Maybe that's not a good enough reason, but it's an honest answer. And yes, Parker ... a part of me still loves you. My actions might seem ambiguous and conflicting, but the one thing I know for sure is that we have to end this now. Too many people will get hurt if we don't.”
“You mean your husband?”

And you, too,
” she wanted to say but remained silent.
“Does he make you happy? Does he fulfill your needs?”
Victoria nodded.
“All of them?”
“Yes, Parker. He does.” Even though she knew her answer wasn't 100 percent true, she could honestly say that it was damn close.
Parker shook his head. “No, he doesn't. If he was giving you everything you needed at home, there's no way you'd be here with me right now, and you know it.”
“Is that why you cheated on me? Because I wasn't fulfilling your needs?” She had turned the tables, and she instantly regretted venturing down that road.
“We're not talking about me, but since you ask, no. I cheated because I was selfish and stupid.You were all I needed.”
Victoria ran her fingers through her hair and let out a hard sigh. “Not everything is as cut and dry as you think. Sometimes people just make bad decisions, like you did.”
“I know I made a big mistake back then, but is that what you think you did with me the other night? Made a bad decision? I'm a mistake?”
“C'mon, Parker—”
“Let me tell you what I think,” he interrupted. “I think your cozy little life is just that ... cozy, safe, and predictable. You haven't had real passion since we were together. Even when we argued, there was incredible energy in those moments. What we had was rare, and there's no substitute for it. We know each other's thoughts, wants, and needs. We're good together, and that's why you're sitting in this restaurant with me right now.”
“No, I told you why I came here today.”
Parker leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Victoria, you don't know how many times I've wished I could go back and change what I did, but I can't. Like you said the other day, what's done is done. But what I can do is live in the present and look toward the future. Baby, when I see my future, I see you in it.”
Victoria's back stiffened. “I'm married, and I have a family. Ted and Alexandria are my future.”
“As much as you love your family, you can't deny your true desires. Baby, I'm not the same man I used to be. I know that when we were together, I was selfish and unsupportive, when I should have been your biggest cheerleader, and I wish that I hadn't betrayed your trust. I was used to always having my way and not making concessions for others. But when I lost you, it forced me to take a long, honest look at myself with a critical eye. Then, when PJ was born, everything became very clear.”
A long silence settled over the table.
Finally, Victoria spoke up. “I'm happy that your life has changed for the better. I truly am. But I can't be a part of it.”
Before their conversation could go any further or Parker could stage a rebuttal to her words, Victoria pushed her chair back and stood. “Please accept what I've said. Good-bye, Parker.” She put her large handbag on her shoulder and walked out the front door.
Parker sat at the table, staring at his untouched plate. He took a sip of his water and wondered how long it would take before Victoria stopped fighting the inevitable.
I Know What You've Been Up To... .
Victoria pulled into her garage, deep in thought about the way her weekend had unfolded. Even though she'd known it was possible, if anyone had told her on Friday morning that she would be ending a secret rendezvous with her ex-lover on Sunday afternoon, she would have told them they were crazy. She still couldn't believe what she'd done.
Slowly, Victoria stepped out of her car and opened the back door that led to her kitchen. She was drained after her encounter with Parker and glad to be back in the comfort of her home. “I'm gonna take a nice long soak in the tub to clear my head,” she said aloud, thinking about the relaxing serenity that the warm water would bring. But her heart nearly leaped out of her chest when she looked up and found Ted standing in front of the refrigerator.
“Hey, you,” he said as he twisted the cap off a bottle of Amstel Light.
Victoria nearly jumped out of her skin. He wasn't supposed to be home until the following afternoon, yet there he stood in all his ruggedly handsome glory. His thick five o'clock shadow told her that he hadn't shaved in a few days, and the tired look on his face let her know that he hadn't gotten much sleep while he was away. But the bright smile in his eyes spoke volumes about the fact that he had missed her and was happy to be home.
“I didn't think you were coming back until tomorrow,” Victoria said with nervous bewilderment.
Ted sat his beer on the counter and walked over to her. “I wasn't, but I decided to come back a day early.” He gathered his arms around Victoria's waist and drew her in for a hug.
Victoria felt his body press against hers and prayed he couldn't detect the scent of infidelity lingering on her skin.
“It's good to be home,” Ted whispered in her ear.
Victoria hugged him back, even though she wanted to free herself from his embrace. She was afraid that he'd smell the faint trace of Parker's cologne on her cotton top from the hug they had shared at the restaurant, or that he'd instinctively notice that her body and touch seemed different because she'd been in the arms of another man. She knew how intuitive and discerning Ted was, and very rarely did anything slip by him. But to her surprise, he didn't seem to notice a thing. Victoria lowered her head, resting her shame on his shoulder.
“V, what's wrong?” Ted asked, raising her chin with his index finger so he could see her face.
“Nothing. I guess I'm just tired.”
He stood back for a moment and looked at her, taking in every detail, from the top of her slightly tousled hair to her fidgety posture, down to the strappy sandals on her manicured feet. He inhaled a deep breath and strained his face, looking into her eyes as he shook his head. “I see ... I know what you've been up to.”
Victoria was too scared to even tremble, knowing that she couldn't hide anything from him. “You do?”
“Yes, I do. Despite the fact that you need to rest, you've been at your office all day,” he said. “I love that you're so driven, but sometimes you just need to relax.”
Victoria was so distraught, all she could do was nod her head.
“Tell you what.Why don't we go upstairs, and while I unpack, you take that bubble bath you were talking about when you walked through the door.” Then a sensuous grin covered his face. “And who knows? I might join you.”
As Victoria followed Ted up to their bedroom, she felt panic and guilt grip her stomach. Two days ago she was in the throes of passion with another man, but now there she stood, about to take a sensual bath with her husband.
She looked across the room as Ted began to shed his khakis and button-down shirt. She studied his face, and when she did, she noticed something that she hadn't seen when she first walked through the door. Beneath the sexy stubble lay a look of deep distress that bordered on nervous anxiety. She watched as his eyes darted toward his luggage, which was sitting on the other side of the room. It was still unpacked.
“Ted, are you okay?” she asked, moving toward the edge of the bed, where she took a seat in order to get a better look at him.
“I'm fine.” He shrugged. “Just a little travel worn.”
“Did you get a chance to spend time with Lilly last night, before you left?”
Victoria wasn't sure, but she thought she saw Ted flinch, and when his eyes met hers, she could see that his entire expression had changed. She knew his grief was still fresh and raw, but then again, she wondered if something else was going on. “Honey, I'm sorry. I know it was an emotional visit for you.”
Ted looked away, feeling the weight of his own guilt nipping at his heels. Rather than continuing to expand on the pack of lies he'd already fed her, he decided to change course.
“Why don't you take your bath. I think I'll just unpack and then check a few e-mails,” he said, walking over to his luggage. He began unpacking his things, concentrating on the task as if it was a matter of life or death.
Victoria noticed a complete shift from the man who had held her in his arms not five minutes ago to the one in front of her now, who seemed distant, frustrated, and bothered. But rather than question him again, she went into the bathroom and filled the Jacuzzi tub with bubbles. She decided to give him some space, and herself some, too.
She soaked in her bath so long, the water turned from steamy to tepid. Finally, she dried herself off and headed out to the bedroom, where she found Ted asleep on top of the comforter. He'd stripped down to his boxers and T-shirt, looking like a helpless child as he lay curled in the fetal position.
Victoria walked to his side of the bed, noting that she'd never seen him sleep that way. He usually slept on his back or on his side, but never had she seen him nestle in as though he was searching for comfort. It made her pause with worry.
She forgot about her own heavy burdens and shifted to her husband's. Lately, he had seemed edgy and distracted, and the fact that he hadn't even noticed the sheer panic on her face when she walked through the door was highly unusual. And now here he was, fast asleep and oblivious to the betrayal she'd committed. As she studied him closer, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that something was wrong with her husband.

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