Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies (19 page)
Read Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies Online
Authors: Trice Hickman
He needed what he and Victoria had just shared. He wanted to pass his family's secret from his lips to her ears, yet nothing and everything held him back.
He hugged her body closer to his, listening to the steady sound of her breathing. She was resting, but she wasn't asleep, and that worried him. He knew she'd been concerned about him and Alexandria. He ran his fingers over her still slightly damp hair and thought about his upcoming trip.
Never in a million years would Jackson, Mississippi, have been a travel destination on his itinerary, but right now he couldn't wait to get down there, because it was where he would find all the answers that his parents had kept hidden from the world. Jackson was where his mother was born, and where he would uncover the long buried truth about his African American roots.
Are You My Husband ... ?
Victoria, Ted, and Alexandria stood together in the baggage claim area of Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson Airport. They had come there to meet Elizabeth and deliver her granddaughter into her trusting hands.Victoria and Ted knew they could have let Alexandria travel under the escort of an airline-provided guardian, but after the trauma she'd recently experienced, they felt better knowing that she had the familiar comfort of family by her side.
Initially, Victoria had been worried that her parents might not have the energy to keep up with an active and very inquisitive five-year-old. Even though they were in great shape for their age, she knew that small children could be a test of anyone's stamina. But looking at Elizabeth's spry steps and glowing smile as she practically jogged up to greet them, Victoria realized that her mother was actually doing better than she and Ted were.
“Don't worry about little missy here,” Elizabeth said, looking at her granddaughter. “She's going to be just fine.”
“I get to stay with Nana and Grandpa!” Alexandria exclaimed with a big smile.
Victoria nodded her head. “Yes, you do, and I want you to behave yourself, mind your manners, and do as your nana and grandpa tell you, okay?” She bent down and kissed her daughter, praying this trip would be healing for everyone.
“Yes, ma'am,” Alexandria replied and nodded back.
Ted picked her up and hugged her tightly. “We'll see you next week, princess.”
Once all the good-byes were said and done, Alexandria and Elizabeth headed into the terminal to catch their flight. Victoria and Ted waved until the two disappeared out of sight, then walked at a quick pace back to their car in the parking garage. They were in a hurry, on their way to another terminal, because not only was Alexandria flying out, but Ted was, too.
As they approached the garage, a small crowd of travelers rolled by, taking up over half the sidewalk with their luggage. Ted put his hand on the small of Victoria's back and gently guided her in front of him to give the group more room. As they sidestepped out of the way, Victoria caught the indignant stare of an older black man, who looked at her and Ted like they'd just spat on his shoe.Victoria knew that she should be used to it by now, but each time she encountered the subtle signs of prejudice, it still stung, and it made her think about what might be in store for Alexandria down the road.
Victoria held her tongue until they were in the car and had securely fastened their seat belts. “Did you see how that old man stared at us back there?” she asked Ted.
“Yes, and if he'd been just a decade or two younger, I would've asked him what the hell his problem was.”
Victoria couldn't believe her ears. She hadn't expected the reaction or the comment that came out of Ted's mouth. Usually, when they encountered a situation involving race, he nearly always brushed it off, choosing to either ignore it or condemn it as plain ignorance.
Victoria looked at Ted closely, wondering what had caused the sudden change. Then she thought about all that he'd been through, dealing with the death of his mother and the chaos his brother was still trying to stir up owing to Carolyn's will. She knew that losing a loved one could have life-altering effects on one's outlook and emotions, and it certainly appeared to be the case with Ted. She'd noticed that ever since they left Boston, he'd been a little different.
“Wait a minute. Are you my husband?” Victoria joked, pretending to look around in search of someone else. “Where's the man who says, âIt's their problem, not ours'?” she mocked.
Ted nodded and leaned over, pulling her face toward his for a soft kiss. “It's me. I thought I proved who I was last night.”
Victoria could only smile as she thought about the night before. They had both needed to reconnect in that way, giving each other the physical release that freed their hidden burdens. But even as she thought about the beautiful love they had made, she couldn't let go of the feeling that something was missing. Something was wrong.
She couldn't put her finger on it, but something in Ted had changed. She was sure of it. And again, she felt it had something to do with whatever he had found locked away in his mother's safe-deposit box. Her gut told her that there was more to the story than he had shared. She wanted to question him about it right there on the spot, but she didn't have time, because of two things: the fact that they were in a rush so Ted could make his flight, and the event she'd set in motion that required her immediate wits and focus for what she was going to do after he stepped on the plane.
They parked curbside at the passenger drop-off area outside the terminal.They both hopped out, and Ted hurriedly removed his two bags from the back, setting them to the side. They stood facing each other, holding each other.
“I'll call you tonight,” he said.
“Okay. Be safe.”
When they kissed good-bye, Ted held Victoria tightly, as if he didn't want to let her go. “V, I love you so much.”The tone in his voice was urgent, like he'd never get a chance to say those words again.
Victoria looked at him, wanting to attribute his behavior to grieving, but knowing there was much more lying beneath the surface. And just as her spider senses had tingled when they were in Boston, the same feeling overcame her now. Her better judgment told her to let it go because Ted had a flight to catch and she had a plan to carry out that she'd hatched the day before. But her natural and ever-persistent curiosity grabbed hold and forced her hand. “Ted, what's the matter? Honey, talk to me.”
Ted shook his head. “Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired ... that's all, really.” He tried his best to smile, as though all was fine, and he would have succeeded in the exercise if he had been dealing with anyone other than Victoria. She was the one person who knew and understood him almost as well as he understood himself. Lying to her was becoming a habit, one that he wanted desperately to break. But for now, he knew it was best to keep the truth from her, at least until he discovered the full details and came to terms with them himself. So he kissed her. “Don't worry. I'm fine. I'll call you later tonight.”
They kissed again before Ted grabbed his bags. An airport security officer was about to tell Victoria to move her vehicle when she jumped back inside. She watched Ted walk into the terminal, as she'd just done with her mother and daughter, praying that his trip would bring healing, too.
Victoria headed onto the ramp leading her from the airport back to the highway. She turned up the volume on her Ledisi CD as she sped past other fast-moving drivers, preparing herself for what was to come next. She knew she should call it off, but the plan had already been made. She took a deep breath and prayed again, this time for what she was about to do.
Chapter Eleven
Back-and-Forth Game ...
V
ictoria pulled into the parking lot and spotted his vehicle almost immediately. They'd chosen to meet in a deceptively upscale, quaint little building tucked away in a quiet section of Dunwoody, a suburb right outside the Atlanta city limits.
ictoria pulled into the parking lot and spotted his vehicle almost immediately. They'd chosen to meet in a deceptively upscale, quaint little building tucked away in a quiet section of Dunwoody, a suburb right outside the Atlanta city limits.
Victoria's hands trembled as she eased her key out of the ignition and took a deep breath. She attempted to steady her nerves as she prepared to walk into what she knew could turn into a minefield. But she knew it was something she had to do.
She removed her large tortoiseshell sunglasses from her face as she looked beyond the four-star restaurant's tastefully decorated entrance in search of him. He was standing over to the side, waiting for her, looking cool in his black trousers and lemon-colored shirt. Her nerves were bubbling over as she walked toward Parker.
What the hell am I doing?
What the hell am I doing?
But she knew it was too late to turn back now.
His smile was warm and sincere as he greeted her. They didn't hug or shake hands; they simply nodded a cordial hello. Victoria was noticeably on edge, but as usual, Parker was as cool as a fan, acting as though it was a regular occurrence for them to meet for food and conversation during the middle of the day, in the middle of the week.
Parker took a moment to appraise the tan-colored, slim-fitting skirt that hugged Victoria's shapely hips and the delicate design of her pink cap-sleeve blouse. “Thanks for coming,” he said.
They went inside and followed the hostess to a table up front. “Is there a more private area where we can be seated ... like in the back?” Victoria asked, pointing her finger in the opposite direction.
Normally, neither of them would have wanted to sit in the very back of a restaurant, close to the kitchen, but in this case they both knew it was best.Victoria couldn't risk running into anyone she knew, and she was glad that the place was practically bare of patrons. Meeting at an off-hour, in between lunch and dinner, had proven to be a wise choice, even if being there in the first place wasn't.
They sat in silence as the server filled their water glasses. Victoria knew that Parker was looking at her as she perused her menu, and she could feel his eyes dissecting her every move. She tried to concentrate on the variety of food choices on the menu rather than on the undeniable attraction she felt slowly creeping through every part of her body.
The day before, when she had gone back to her office to call him after Denise had practically hung up in his face, she had no intention of ending up where she was at this very moment. She had fished his business card from the bottom of her handbag, where it had been lying for over two weeks, and had dialed his work number, determined to put an end to whatever he was trying to start.
“This is Victoria,” she said before he had a chance to say hello.
Parker's response was immediate. “I've been waiting for your call.”
“Parker, why have you been calling me?”
“Because you haven't responded to the e-mails I sent you.”
Victoria had deleted the two e-mails he'd sent, each containing a brief but polite request for her to contact him when she could. She had prayed that he would simply go away. But she knew that she was merely hoping against hope.
“There's nothing for us to talk about. We'll see each other from time to time at Jack and Jill activities and at our kids' school events, but other than that, there's no need for us to have any communication,” she said.
“There are a few things I want to talk to you about. I need to clear up some issues.”
“We don't have any issues,” Victoria countered.
“Oh, but we do ... and I think you know it, too.” Parker paused for a moment as a group of interns walked by. He was at the hospital and didn't want his business overheard. He got up and shut his office door before he continued. “There's still tension and unresolved issues between us, and I want to clear it up. As you said, we're going to see each other quite a bit, and I think we should just get everything out in the open, because it will make things a lot easier.”
Victoria shook her head on the other end of the phone. “There's nothing that I need to get out in the open.”
“Well, I do, and I'd appreciate it if you allowed me the opportunity to get it off my chest. I'm only asking for an hour of your time.”
In spite of the small voice inside her head that whispered no,Victoria agreed to meet him.
A coffee shop had been Parker's initial choice, but she thought it would be too exposed. There would be too much foot traffic, and she didn't want to risk being seen with him in the light of day. She knew it would be a mistake to meet him anywhere at night, so when he suggested a quiet place outside the city limits and off the beaten path, she agreed, bringing her to the defining spot where she currently sat. In the back of her mind she wondered if this was how Debbie's affair had started.
After the server took their orders, they were left aloneâwith no menus to distract them and just silence separating them.
“Your daughter is a beautiful little girl,” Parker started.
Victoria's lips found a smile. “Thanks. She's a handful, but she's the joy of my life.You've got a handsome little guy yourself.”
“He's my mini me,” Parker laughed. “PJ's a handful, too, but I wouldn't trade fatherhood for anything in this world.”
Victoria was taken aback by the genuine light in Parker's eyes when he talked about his son. She could see his entire demeanor soften at just the mention of his child's name. Right then and there, the hard, icy stance she'd tried to take with him vanished.
They spent the next hour covering a lot of ground, talking about their children and the ups and downs of parenting. She told him about the recent passing of Ted's mother, that she was worried about the long-lasting effect it might have on Alexandria, and how she hoped the visit with her parents would help bring her daughter back to her old self. Parker listened with concern and told her that he could recommend an excellent child psychologist at the hospital if the need arose.
As they shared more tidbits of information about their personal lives, Victoria soon discovered that just as she had deduced from chatty Roberta's description during the Jack and Jill meeting, Pamela was indeed the mother of his child. They shared joint custody, but it was clear that Parker was the primary caregiver.
From what Parker described, motherhood had never been something that Pamela really wanted. She simply saw it as a means to an end. In her mind, a baby equaled a ring, and a ring equaled marriage and happily ever after. But Parker's mind had thoughts of something completely different. When he refused to marry her, everything went up in smoke.
“Around the time PJ was six months old, Pamela pretty much began to leave him at my place for longer and longer periods of time. Now he lives with me, and she has him every other weekend. But even that's not always the case. Right now she's traveling for work and hasn't seen him in over three weeks. She gets back in town tonight, and she's supposed to keep him this weekend.... We'll see,” he sighed.
Victoria could barely swallow the succulent chicken breast that was melting in her mouth. She couldn't imagine not seeing Alexandria for weeks at a time, business travel or not. As it stood, she couldn't wait to talk to her in a few hours to make sure she was all right. “How does PJ handle not seeing his mother?” she asked.
“He's used to it. It's been this way almost from the beginning, so it's all he knows.”
Victoria shook her head. “So you're practically a single parent.”
“You could say that. But I have a great nanny who works miracles. I couldn't make it without her. Plus, I've cut back on a few things at the hospital. I'm no longer teaching interns, which, if you remember, I really loved.” Parker stared at her for a moment, hoping to see a spark of nostalgia about the good times they had shared. He saw a small flinch, but he couldn't get a good read, so he continued. “I'm strictly doing surgeries and administrative work. It's a trade-off, but it's a small sacrifice to make for my son.”
“Any dessert for you two lovebirds?” the cherub-faced server asked.
Victoria's back stiffened at the comment, but Parker simply smiled and said, “If I remember, chocolate cheesecake is your favorite, right?”
After Victoria swept the server's misguided slip under the rug, they continued their conversation over chocolate cheesecake for her and key lime pie for him.
“You seem happy, Parker ... and I'm happy for you,” Victoria said. She finally looked him dead in his eyes, wanting him to know that she truly meant it.
Parker dabbed his mouth, setting his napkin beside his plate of half-eaten pie. “There hasn't been a day that's gone by over the last six years that I haven't thought about you or regretted how badly I hurt you,Victoria.”
Up until that moment,Victoria had felt surprisingly comfortable. But now Parker was stirring up things from their past, making her think about what she'd been trying to keep locked away in a dark, quiet place. She wanted to despise him, the way she used to when he broke her heart, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. In the matter of an hour and a half he'd loosened the reins, and now the horse was out of the gate.
Why is he going there?
Victoria screamed in her head. But then she reminded herself that this, after all, was the purpose of their meeting. He wanted to get things off his chest, and now he was doing it.
Victoria screamed in her head. But then she reminded herself that this, after all, was the purpose of their meeting. He wanted to get things off his chest, and now he was doing it.
“Is this what you wanted to clear up? The fact that you regret cheating on me over six years ago?” Victoria let out a tired sigh, pushing her dessert to the side. “Parker, you didn't have to meet with me to tell me that. I told you yesterday, what's done is done. We have a new understanding, so let's just put the past behind us and move forward.”
They stared at each other, reverting to the uncomfortable silence that had shrouded them at the beginning of their lunch.Victoria hoped she was doing a good job of hiding her secret desire. She was all too aware of the fact that Parker still knew her well, and she was praying that he couldn't see through her carefully manufactured facade.
Parker leaned forward in his chair, relaxing his elbows on the table. “I still care about you. Even though I made that horrible mistake, I never played games with you, and I always let you know how I felt.” He paused. “I still want you to know how I feel, and I'd be lying if I pretended that I didn't want more from you than the casual parent-to-parent interaction we're going to have when we run into each other at meetings and at our kids' school.”
Victoria could feel her heart beating fast inside her chest. Her palms began to sweat as she looked around the room, as if searching for something to rescue her from what rested inside her thoughts. She knew that Parker was reading her like one of his medical journals, so she had to bring the tense moment to an end before it led to something she couldn't pull herself out of. She folded her napkin and placed it on the table, next to his. “I'm glad that you've gotten
things
off your chest. But this doesn't change anything between us.” Then she came right out with it, saying what was on both their minds. “I'm married, and I'm not interested in having an affair with you.” The words she had just spoken weren't convincing, not even to her, but they were all she had.
things
off your chest. But this doesn't change anything between us.” Then she came right out with it, saying what was on both their minds. “I'm married, and I'm not interested in having an affair with you.” The words she had just spoken weren't convincing, not even to her, but they were all she had.
Parker looked at Victoria with intensity. If it hadn't been for the fact that they were in a public place and Victoria might freak out, he would've pulled her close and devoured her on the spot. He wanted to feel the heat of her flesh against his, run his hands over the softness of her velvety smooth skin, taste the flavor of her mouth, and fill her with the erection growing at the seat of his pants. These were all things he'd thought about since he saw her two weeks ago. And despite her valiant effort to uphold the fidelity of her marriage, he knew that she wanted him, too ... and that meant it was only a matter of time before she gave in to what he knew they'd both been longing for.
He was a patient man. He'd waited this long, so he knew he could wait a little longer to finally have what he desired and needed. He decided to play along, but then his mind paused in mid-thought, causing him to quickly rethink the situation.
He knew what he wanted, he knew what she wanted, and he wasn't going to sit around playing a silly back-and-forth game with her.
Parker leaned forward just a little more, close enough to reach over and plant the kiss on Victoria's lips that he'd been craving. He wanted her to know that he wasn't going to beat around any bushes or dance around the inevitable. “You and I both know there's an undeniable attraction and chemistry between us. It's natural, and it's been there from the moment we first met. The only reason your last name isn't Brightwood right now is because I fucked up.”
Victoria's eyes grew large. “What makes you think that I'd cheat on my husband with a man who cheated on me?”
“Because you still love me.”
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