Infinite Desire (12 page)

“It
smells really good…” I say, as I slowly bring the cup to my lips and take a
small sip. “Wow that’s really good! It actually tastes like apple pie.” I take
another sip, then instantly feel my head begin to buzz. I’ve already been
drinking off and on all day, so I had a good buzz going; this moonshine is
hitting me like a brick.

Mya
disappeared momentarily to get herself a cup, and to grab me a Twisted Tea.

“Are
you drunk, darlin’?” Kayden whispers into my ear, with amusement in his voice.

I
can’t help but giggle as his warm breath tickles my neck, “A tad.”

He
slides his rough finger across my cheek, cupping the nape of my neck and
pulling me to him. His kiss is full of hunger and my body is instantly
blanketed in goose bumps.

Mya
clears her throat, snapping Kayden and me back to the here and now. “Here.” She
says, smiling down at us and handing me my drink.

“Thanks.”
I take a long pull; every sip makes my head become hazier. All the alcohol is
catching up with me. Taking the bottle from me, Kayden sets it in the sand, and
taking my hand, he stands up and pulls me up from my chair.

The
sand is cool on my toes; I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt with flip flops. I love
being able to kick off my shoes and burry my toes in the sand. The roar and
crackle of the fire, mixed with the sound of the waves crashing on shore and
the music blasting over the beach is like heaven to my ears. This is the
perfect way to spend a Saturday night.

~~~

Kayden

The
beach is packed with friends and family, but the only thing I see right now is
Savannah. She instantly takes my fuckin’ breath away when she looks up at me
with her big blue eyes. They sparkle as the fire reflects and dances in her
eyes, and the blanket of stars above twinkle off her beautiful irises.

“What
are you doing?” Savannah asks, gazing up at me with laughter in her voice.

After
everything we’ve gone through, I’m savoring all the carefree moments we’ve been
having lately.

Running
my fingers down her arms, soaking in the feeling of her warm, soft, silky skin
under my rough fingers, I flash a cocky grin down at her, “Dance with me?” I
ask, taking her hands into mine and walking backwards away from the chairs and
around the fire.

I
find a spot by the fire that’s semi-private; everyone else is too busy eating,
drinking or playing beer pong to pay attention to us. Snaking my arm around her
waist and resting my hand on the small of her back, I take her right hand into
mine and begin moving to the beat of Florida
Georgia
Line’s
Tell Me How You Like It
.

I
sing the words along with the music, with my lips pressed against her ear, I
feel her sink into my body, as my words wash over her.

Pressing
her cheek against my chest causes my breathing to hitch and my heart rate to
pick up. I’ll never get tired of the affect Savannah has on me. Every time I’m
near her, my entire body goes on high alert and craves her touch.

Lifting
her head slightly, Savannah stares out at the ocean, “The water looks beautiful
tonight with the moon shining down on it, and look at all the stars that are
out tonight. We lucked out baby; we got a perfect night to celebrate with
everyone.” She drags her gaze from the water and looks up at me; her lips are
drippin’ honey and I’m craving a taste.

I
hold her tightly against me as I sway to the music and gently press my lips
against hers. I bite down on her bottom lip and drag my tongue over it causing
her to moan into my mouth, prompting my dick to jump.

Fuck.
How did I ever get so lucky? To think I almost lost this…Lost her. I would
rather be fuckin’ dead than have to go a day without her being mine.

Pulling
my lips away from hers, I love how swollen they look from being pressed against
mine moments ago. Her chest is rising and falling against mine, and her eyes are
now burning with desire. It’s taking all the strength in me not to drag her
sweet ass up to the house, tell everyone to party on without us and fuck her
until I collapse from exhaustion.

“Those
stars ain’t got nothin’ on you.” I whisper into her ear, as I trail a path of
kisses along her neck and hum the lyrics against her skin. I can feel her
shiver in my arms and goose bumps appear on her skin. I love how I can affect
my sweet Savannah without even trying.

“I
bet you say that to all the girls.” She teases.

I
let out a deep chuckle and look back down at Savannah, locking eyes with her, I
say, “Sorry darlin’, but you’re the only girl who can out shine every star in
the Texas sky. You’re so fuckin’ beautiful, without even tryin’; it’s just
another reason why I love you.”

Savannah
immediately stops dancing and stands before me. With a small impish smile
dancing across her lips, she wraps her arms around my neck and interlocks her
fingers together.

“Knox,
I already agreed to be your wife; you don’t have to keep tryin’ to get me to swoon
to get into my pants.”

I
can’t help but smile at her; she is perfection standing before me. Gorgeous,
witty, strong willed. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted and then some rolled
into one perfect fuckin’ package. I can’t wait to get this wedding over with so
that I officially can call her my wife.

The
wind is picking up and blowing off of the water misting our skin; it’s causing
Savannah’s long blonde hair to dance behind her. She looks like an angel
standing before me.

Reaching
up I grab her hands and take them into mine, “Come on.” I say, tilting my head
towards our house. I pull her alongside me making my way to the deck where
Dixon, Brooklyn, Jax and Rebecca are playing beer pong. Braxton and Mya, along
with a few other people, are standing around the table watching while sipping
on their beers.

“There’s
the love birds!” Rebecca says, stepping away from the table momentarily to hug
Savannah. “I still can’t believe you two are getting married in two months! We
need to seriously get our asses in gear and get our dresses picked out. Girl,
two months is going to come and go really fast!”

Shit.
I need to get my ass in gear too. First thing Monday, I’m dragging Braxton,
Dixon and Jax to get our wedding attire purchased. I’ll have to text my friend
Ryder a picture of what we’re getting so he can purchase the same thing. He
lives in San Diego now, but will be flying into Houston for the wedding. Ryder
was my mentor back in college before he was drafted into the NFL. Sadly, his
NFL career ended as quickly as my college one did, due to a career ending
injury.

Since
we’re getting married here in Galveston, I’m going to wear Khaki shorts with a
button up white shirt, and sandals, and so are my groomsmen. Then for the
reception back in Sugar Land, I plan on wearing
stone wash
Wranglers, white button down shirt, and brown suit vest finishing off with my
favorite pair of elephant skin Tony Lama’s and brown beaver Stetson

Braxton
snaps me back to reality when I hear him tapping a rock against his glass beer
bottle. “I think I should give a toast now, before we’re all too shit faced!”

Wrapping
my arm around Savannah, I pull her back to my front, and hold my beer up in the
air along with everyone else who’s now gathered around us.

Clearing
his throat Braxton flashes a megawatt smile at us all. It’s dark, but the bon
fire is roaring behind us and lighting up the beach as I look around at all my
friends and family. There’s no better way to celebrate our engagement and Dixon
and Brooklyn’s wedding then like this; low key, everyone chillin’ on the beach,
drinking beer and moonshine and dancing to the best country music.

Holding
his beer above his head he shouts so everyone can hear, someone up on the deck
quickly turns the music down, “We’re all here tonight, not to party our asses
off...” Braxton lets out a low chuckle, “Shit, well we’re here for that too,
but we’re also all here tonight to celebrate my best friend,” He says, pointing
his beer at me. “Kayden’s finally retiring his player ways, and being smart
enough to see that Savannah is the perfect chick for him. Congrats you two on
your engagement! I’m glad to see you have finally found your soul mate!” Mya
snuggles up into Braxton’s side and smiles at Savannah and me as she holds up
her red solo cup.

I
can’t help but laugh at his toast, my cheeks ache from smiling so much. “To
Kayden and Savannah!” Braxton cheers and everyone soon follows. I bring my
bottle to my lips and take a long pull from it.

Holding
my bottle in the air again, I yell to Braxton, “Awesome toast, but now it’s my
turn to toast my lil’ cousin here, who as y’all know by now, got hitched in
Vegas!”

Everyone
starts hootin’ and hollerin’ at Dixon and Brooklyn. She’s blushing and telling
everyone
thank you
as she waves her cup in the air.

I
kiss Savannah’s head and whisper ‘
I love you’
as I pull her tightly
against my chest. Taking in a deep breath, I start my toast to Dixon and
Brooklyn, “When I heard these two crazy kids eloped, I gave it a week max
before they either killed each other or annulled their marriage.” I see pain
flash over Brooklyn’s eyes as I mention an annulment, but it’s quickly replaced
with a smile as Dixon pulls her against his side, “But Dixon surprised me, and
one month later these two are still married and both breathing!” Everyone
starts laughing along with me, including the newlyweds.

“Hey,
there’s still time to kill him and feed him to the sharks you know!” Brooklyn
shouts across the table.

Dixon
shoves her playfully before slapping her on the ass. “You’d be miserable
without me!” Dixon tells her, with humor in his words.

“Hey,
I’m trying to do a toast here!” I’m trying my best to keep a straight face.
“Back to my toast…Now what I was saying is, Dixon has always been the playboy
of Houston, even more so than me! I know…it’s hard to believe.” I laugh, and
everyone around me does too. “I never thought the day would come that he would
settle down and willingly commit to one woman for the rest of his life. Dixon
and Brooklyn, no matter how crazy it sounds, are perfect together. So here’s to
Dixon and Brooklyn! May you two live a long, happy life together, and if you
end up killin’ him Brooklyn, I’ll gladly help dispose of the dipshits body,
because I know he probably deserved it.”

I drink down the remainder of my beer and toss it into the barrel
that’s now
filled to the brim with glass bottles.

Cranking
the music back up, we get back to partying. “Okay, winner of this round plays
Savannah and me!” I yell at Jax, Rebecca, Dixon and Brooklyn.

“And
the winner of that round plays Braxton and Mya!” Savannah chimes in pinching my
side.

“We’re
definitely going to be kicking your asses. Savannah is one more drink away from
spending
the evening praying to the porcelain God.”
Dixon teases, focusing on Savannah’s sway and glassy eyes, letting
out a
hearty laugh.

“Hey
mate! Who say’s you’ll be winning? Last I remember, Rebecca and I were whoopin’
your asses!” Jax shouts across the beer pong table, chucking a ball at Dixon’s
head. Dixon catches it just before it clocks him in the side of his temple

I’m
glad to see that things between Brooklyn, Dixon and Jax didn’t ruin their
friendship. Jax came here from Sydney alone and we are all he has…we all are
his family.

After
partying until almost three a.m., we put out the fire. People crashed here, had
their DD’s drive them home or called a cab. I only have one thing on my agenda
and it ain’t sleepin’. Picking up Savannah, she wraps her legs around my waist,
and hooks her arms behind my neck, as I quickly make my way up to our master
bedroom. I’ve been good long enough, now I’m going no holds bar, and going to
fuck my girl until she falls asleep naked and well satisfied in my arms.

“Are
you going to tell me where we are going, yet?” I ask, staring at Kayden from
the passenger seat of my Maserati. We just dropped Bentley off at our house in
Sugar Land; Frederick is going to care for him while we’re gone for the
weekend. The only thing Kayden’s told me is we’re going out of town until
Sunday, and we’re driving.

“Well
since we’re getting ready to jump on the highway, I suppose I can stop
torturing you and fill you in on our little getaway.” He flashes me a devilish
grin as he flutters kisses on my knuckles. “We’re heading to Austin for the
weekend.”

My
curiosity is instantly peaked. This is Kayden’s home town, where he grew up,
played high school football, then college football. Where he had so many
amazing things happen to him, but also some of his worst memories are from
there too.

“So
are you going to tell me what we’ll be doing, or are you going to make me wait
until we get there?” I tease, trying my best to seem perturbed.

Kayden
doesn’t answer me; his big ass grin says it all. He let’s go of my hand
momentarily pushing the button to put the top down and cranks up the music.

Shifting gears, Kayden presses his foot down on the accelerator
causing my
head to press against the leather headrest. I slide
my eyes from the road ahead, over to the speedometer and see we’re inching
close to one-hundred-and-twenty miles per hour.

“Oh
my God! Kayden, are you crazy!?” I scream, gripping the cool leather seat
beneath me.

He
gives me a sideways glance and lets out a chuckle, “Yeah, crazy in love with
you.”

A
nervous laugh escapes my lips, “You are insane! You’re going to get a speeding
ticket, you idiot!” I can’t help but giggle, as the adrenalin courses through
my veins.

“Baby,
there ain’t a cop in Texas who’d give me a ticket! Now sit back and enjoy the
ride darlin’; I gotta open this baby up.” His voice is laced with amusement and
I love seeing him so carefree. The roar of the engine, mixed with the sound of
the wind whipping over us, and the music blasting out of the speakers is
exhilarating.

I
shake my head, and focus back on the road watching the cars and scenery as it
passes by us in a flash. Thank God we have the road almost to ourselves; he’s
passed pretty much every other car that’s on the highway this morning.

Lady
Antebellum’s
American Honey
comes on and I can’t help but sing along
with it. Kayden soon joins in as he slows the car down to eighty-five. Our
voices harmonize perfectly without even trying. I love when we’re like this,
carefree and living life in the moment. I can’t wait to spend the entire
weekend away, just him and I.

The
next few hours go by quickly. We spend the entire time singing along with the
radio. Nothing is sexier than Kayden singing; his voice is raspy with a slight
twang that just makes me instant putty in his hands. If he cut a record today,
he would be topping the charts.

I
gave up trying to pry our plans for the weekend out of him, so I did my best to
contain my curiosity. He is enjoying torturing me way too much.

Pulling
up to The Knox Hotel, Kayden turns the engine off and grabs my hand as I start
to unbuckle, “We’re not staying; I’m going to give them our bags to bring up to
the suite. I’ll be right back baby.”

Kayden
slides out of the car and smiles down at me while shutting the door. I flash
him a
what
look and stay seated. I watch as he goes around to the trunk,
removes our bags and gives them all to the bell hop to load up on his cart.

Even
though the parking lot of the hotel is full of cars driving up to the valet
parking, I don’t see anything but Kayden. He’s wearing his favorite faded
jeans, boots, and tight fitted plaid button up t-shirt and black cowboy hat. A
cocky grin stretches across his face as he walks over to the passenger side of
the car. Gripping my door, he leans down and plants a delicious kiss on my
lips.

Pulling
away from my mouth, he flashes a small smile and asks, “Ready to get outta
here?”

“I
guess, even though we just got here.” I laugh. “Where are we going now?” I ask,
spinning my head around, following him with my eyes as he makes his way back
around the car.

Sliding
back into the driver seat, he clicks on his seatbelt, fires the engine, flashes
me a cocky grin and burns the tires as he pulls out of the hotel.

“It’s…a…surprise.”
He tells me slowly, with amusement on his face. God I hate and love this man
with a passion. He knows how to drive me completely and utterly insane.

“You’re
impossible!” I mumble, and turn the music back up; he spots the small smile on
my lips and pokes me playfully in my side.

“Patience
baby; we have a big day ahead of us.”

~~~

After
driving for twenty minutes, the scenery has changed from the fast paced city to
spread out fields and single lane roads. Kayden slows down and turns onto a long
dirt road lined with trees. A sign at the beginning of the road says,
‘Melody’s
Ranch’
.

I
feel as if all of the air has been sucked from my lungs as my eyes take in the
sign. I read about this place when I was researching Kayden for the Envy
article. He has this ranch where kids come and ride horses for therapy; whether
they have cancer or a disability, they come here and ride. Some of the older
ones work the stables by pitching in to wash and feed the horses at the end of
the day.

Kayden
rests his hand over mine as we slowly drive down the dirt road; he gives it a
gentle squeeze and I try my best to hold back the tears. I can’t believe the
date is just dawning on me. Today is April 20
^th,
which means
tomorrow is the anniversary of Melody’s death. It breaks my heart knowing she
died so young, but I love that Kayden donates to cancer research in her name to
help find a cure.

The
words are spoken between us without either of us having to actually voice them.
We both glance at one another locking eyes momentarily. I love that he would
bring me here on this weekend, of all weekends. Usually when it comes to
Melody, Kayden is closed off, so for him to want to spend this weekend here in
Austin with me, instead of being alone, means the world to me.

“Are
we going horseback riding?” I finally ask, unbuckling and stepping out of the
car. I fix my tank top and stretch. It feels good to finally be out of that
damn car. My legs feel like jelly from sitting for over three hours. I stomp my
boots and try to wake my legs up by getting the blood flowing to them again.

We
meet at the front of the car and Kayden takes my hand into his, saying, “Yes,
we are. I planned this a few weeks ago, so I’m glad we lucked out with the
weather.”

I
look around and take in the surroundings. There’s a massive barn off to the
left with fencing that seems to go on for miles. There’s a small area where
kids are running around with their parents, petting or riding the horses.

In
the center of everything is a large log and stone cabin that I imagine is the
main office to the Ranch.

Kayden
opens the door, and my eyes immediately take in the high ceilings and the large
rustic chandeliers hanging down on each side of the office. In the center of
the room is a large counter where an older looking gentleman is sitting behind
a computer, busy typing away.

The
gentleman looks to Kayden with a gentle smile, “Good afternoon Mr. Knox; the
horses are ready for you out at the stables.”

“Thank
you Harrison, we should only be gone with them for an hour or two.”

We
quickly make our way to the stables and knowing Kayden, I doubt this is his
only surprise. I am bursting with excitement as we enter the stables and walk
past kids cleaning stalls or walking horses out to the fenced in area for the
other kids to ride.

“We’ll
be riding these two,” Kayden says, stopping in front of a stall with two
chocolate brown Quarter horses. The one I’ll be riding has a little white
blotch of fur between her eyes reminding me of Brooklyn’s horse, Whiskey. They
are absolutely beautiful. It’s just one more thing I love about Kayden: our
shard love for horses. The fact that he runs the ranch for children just makes
me love him even more.

“It’s
beautiful outside, a perfect day to go riding. These horses are gorgeous, what
are their names?” I ask, petting the horse’s nose.

“This
is Garth,” Kayden says, as he walks his horse out of its stall. “And the one
you’re riding today is Loretta.”

I
can’t help but laugh at their country music legend names. “Of course that’s
their names.” I say sarcastically, taking Loretta’s reigns and walking her out
of the stable following behind Kayden.

~~~

Kayden

I
made it clear to the staff here at the ranch to not allow anyone to go riding
outside the fenced in areas; I want complete privacy with Savannah today. This
is the first time in seven years I’ll be spending Melody’s anniversary with
someone.

My
mother buries herself in her work by traveling to third world countries with
Doctors without Borders. My father used to visit Melody’s grave here in Austin,
but the last two years he’s stayed in Nashville. It breaks my heart going to
her grave and being the only one to decorate it with flowers.

I’m
trying to open up more to Savannah, and I think this is a big step for us. I
could tell earlier, when we were pulling in here, the date clicked in her head.
Savannah understands me better than I understand myself, most of the time. She
silently acknowledged why we’re here, and didn’t press me to talk about it,
which I appreciate.

Baby
steps…I am taking baby steps. I’m used to living my life only worrying about
myself, and not having to tell someone how I’m feeling. Since Savannah’s come
into my life, all of that’s changed.

“At
the end of this trail we’re going to head off into the clearing.” I yell over
my shoulder, back to Savannah.

Flashing
me her gorgeous smile, she yells, “Alright baby.”

She
looks absolutely breathtaking. Her long blonde hair is down in light curls
stopping at the bottom of her back. She’s wearing cut off shorts that stop just
below her ass, making her tanned legs look like they go on forever and she’s
wearing a v-neck tank that’s giving me a peek at her gorgeous breasts. Then
there’s her boots…I love my baby in a hot pair of boots. I’d love to have her
lying in the field naked, pressed beneath me, wearing nothing but those fuckin’
boots.

Clicking
my tongue and tapping my heels into Garth, I get him to speed up from a trot to
a full on gallop. Savannah is laughing and the sound is echoing around us like
the most beautiful music. I knew bringing her here was exactly what we both
needed: us alone, away from all of the crazy shit that we have to deal with on
a daily basis. This weekend I’m going to do nothing but focus on her. She’ll
help make getting through this weekend a little less painful.

Leaving
the trail, we enter the wide open field. This is my favorite spot to come and
just clear my head. I’ve sat in this field with Garth every year and let the
memories of my baby sister and me flash through my mind. It’s getting harder
now to remember her…Her voice, her laugh, and the way she loved to drive me
absolutely insane.

I
have some home videos I took from my parents’ house when they sold it after
their divorce. My mother packed the rest in storage, because like me, it’s too
hard watching them, knowing we’ll never see her angelic face again.

I
brought one with me from my first football game
for
The University of Texas
as the starting Quarterback. I had it transferred
to a disc so that I can watch it with Savannah tonight at the hotel. It will be
the first time since her memorial service that I’ll actually hear her voice.

Pulling
on the reigns I get my horse to come to a stop beside a blanket I had one of
the staff lay out for us. I had them bring a pitcher of sweet tea, some fresh
fruit and my guitar. I wanted some private time with Savannah and I know how
much she loves it when I sing to her.

Jumping
off our horses, I attach them to a tree. “Surprise baby!” I say enthusiastically,
flashing a big smile. “Here, come sit.” I hold my hand out, taking hers into
mine and walking her over to the blanket.

Savannah’s
eyes are big as she takes in everything, “Wow. This clearing is absolutely
gorgeous Kayden.” She spins her head around, looking at the field of wild
flowers.

Sitting
down beside me, she pours us each a glass of sweet tea while I open the
Tupperware of fruit. “Yea, I come here every time I’m in Austin. I love sitting
here and just do nothing. I use to take Melody here a lot when she was sick.
We’d come to the ranch, go riding and then come out here where I’d watch her
run around picking flowers. For those few hours, it was as if nothing was wrong;
she could escape all the doctors and treatments, and just be a kid.”

It
feels good talking to Savannah about Melody. I was afraid it would feel weird
or be too painful, but it actually feels great to think back to the great times
with my sister. Sharing those memories with Savannah, I feel at peace.