In Search of Lucy (20 page)

The big day was creeping up on them like a stalker in the night. In about thirty hours, two sisters would lie side by side on gurneys leaving their fates in the hands of surgeons and God. There had been no more spoken about Linda when Lucy arrived home yesterday from clearing her head. It was almost as if it never happened. Now everyone had on their game face. The house seemed to be at maximum capacity as well. It almost felt like a holiday. Rick was home since he’d planned on a week off. He wanted to be there for Katie, and possibly Lucy, after the surgery. Depending on each of their recoveries, they would be released to go home between two and four days later. George took time off as well and continued to pop in and out, bringing everyone’s spirits up when he did.

The only one who seemed to be completely aware of the situation and living in reality was Carly. She was the first one up that day and had already put on her
dress
for the day. Rick found her in her room coloring and tried to convince her to change, but he knew it was useless. So he made a point to gather up Lucy and Anne to explain the appearance and significance of the garment. He asked them to act as they normally would, commenting on the dress itself, but not the reason behind it. The girls understood, and Anne remarked how clever it was of Carly to invent a more beautiful version of the security blanket.

The hours ticked by in slow motion while everyone worked hard to keep busy, or at least make themselves look busy. Rick decided it was a good time to finally organize the workbench George had put in for him at Christmas. Upon Rick’s insistence, Katie was taking a nap. Just like his daughter, he was in tune to the well-being of his wife no matter how hard she tried to hide it. Lucy and Anne were playing board games with Carly on the living room floor.

“What a beautiful dress,” Anne said as she rolled the die. “You look just like a princess.”

Lucy just eyed her and couldn’t quite figure out what was so familiar about Carly in that dress.

“Thank you,” she replied sweetly but still kept an eye on Anne counting her way around the board. Carly hated to lose at anything. She didn’t, however, mind not finishing a game if something better came along, which is exactly what happened when the doorbell rang. Izzy, the girl next door who was a year older than Carly, was asking if Carly could come over and play with her dollhouse. Anne and Lucy telepathically sent Rick the signal that stopping the game was just fine with them, so he gave his approval. Both women flopped down on the sofa like sacks of flour being dumped in a truck. Neither had realized how tiring it was to keep up with the energy levels of a young child.

“Can I get you two anything while I’m in here?” Rick offered from the kitchen. He was still holding a hammer from the garage.

“I’m fine,” Lucy replied first. She wondered why even though his build did not portray it, he suddenly seemed more masculine because he was holding a tool.

“Yeah, just getting to lie here and do nothing is good enough for me,” Anne added with a relieved tone. Her usual perky expression had faded a notch.

“I do appreciate you both keeping Carly’s mind off things. I know she can be tough to keep up with sometimes, but days like these are even worse.”

“We understand,” Anne answered for both of them.

“Thanks. Hey, as soon as Katie gets up, I’m heading out to the store to pick up a few things if either of you need to get out for a bit.” He didn’t wait for an answer and took off through the door to the garage with the hammer slung over his shoulder.

Lucy didn’t give the strange car in the driveway a second thought when she returned from the store with Rick and Anne. There had been other visitors since they had arrived a little more than four days ago. One of Katie’s friends, Amanda, stopped by to drop off a toy Carly had left at her house. Rick’s office manager was there just yesterday to give him some paperwork that needed to be signed right away. So Lucy felt completely ambushed walking into the house and facing her worst nightmare.

“Daddy, Daddy!” Carly greeted them at the door and grabbed Rick’s wrist. “Guess who’s here!”

“Wow, sweetie.” Rick put an arm around his daughter to calm her. “I don’t know, but is sounds like someone exciting, huh?”

“Yes, Daddy, it’s Grandma.” Yanking fruitlessly on his arm, she whined, “Come and see.”

Lucy turned to Rick with a confused look. “I thought your mom was in Hawaii?”

“She is,” Rick answered with the same confused look.

“Not Grandma Rose, Grandma Linda,” Carly continued.

A bolt of electricity instantly stabbed Lucy in the heart.
She did not just say that,
Lucy told herself.
She’s just a little girl who is probably confused, or maybe playing a game. There’s no way that Linda would be here, especially now
. Quiet voices could be heard coming from the kitchen, which escalated the heat rushing to Lucy’s face. She remembered the stuffed animal and her talk with Katie, and suddenly it did make sense. Maybe they were planning this visit all along.

“I need to use the restroom,” Anne announced purely out of self-preservation and headed down the hall.

Lucy didn’t blame her for not wanting to be in the vicinity of the impending catastrophe.

Surrendering to Carly’s tug-of-war, Rick followed her toward the kitchen. Robotically and on autopilot, Lucy went along behind Rick. As they rounded the corner edge of the hallway, they could see Katie leaning against the kitchen counter. A woman was standing in front of her with her back to them. She had blonde hair that was teased up and puffy on the top of her head.

Lucy stopped dead in her tracks for she didn’t even need the woman to turn around to confirm what she already knew. She had recognized her mother’s voice as they got closer. It was an unmistakable voice that spoke only in criticism and excuses.

“You’re home,” Katie said as less of a greeting and more of an abrupt end to their conversation.

There was no response except for Linda turning around and displaying an awkward grin. “Hi.”

“Linda, hi I’m Rick.” He extended his hand to her. “Nice to meet you.”

Lucy was almost offended that Rick would greet her so pleasantly, but she would have to think about that later.

Linda accepted his hand, giving it a quick and firm shake, and said, “You too.”

Then there was a moment of silence, in which everyone looked at Lucy. It was as if it was her turn in some kind of game like charades or tag.

“What are you doing here?” was all she could think of.

“Well it’s nice to see you too, Lucy,” Linda shot back.

Realizing that things were going to be bumpy if not completely turbulent, Katie intervened to clear out innocent bystanders. “Sweetheart, why don’t you go play in the den on the computer?” She began escorting her daughter from the kitchen.

“But Mommy, I already got my computer time for today.”

Katie gave Rick a pleading look, which he instantly picked up on and added, “Well today you get a little extra time. You can show me that new game you’ve been talking about.” Rick took Carly’s hand and the two walked out.

“Maybe the three of us could go out back and talk.” Katie gestured innocently toward the backyard. “I could bring us out something to drink, and we’ve got the shade at this time.” The other two weren’t buying it and stood stubbornly in place.

“What for, a nice little family reunion? You two go ahead.” Lucy set her purse on the counter and went to the cupboard to retrieve a glass. She acted as if Katie and Linda would actually take her up on the offer and exit from her presence. Hoping was probably more like it. Then she wouldn’t have to pretend to busy herself while ignoring them.

“Lucy, please,” Katie pleaded and reached out for her sister. “We have to talk about this. Mom came all this way for us, to make sure we were okay.”

That word,
Mom
, was like a lethal injection. Hearing Katie say it with all of them in the same room was way too real and brought back too many bad feelings. Lucy’s breathing suddenly sped up as if she were diving into a cold pool in the winter and couldn’t catch her breath.

“It’s okay, Katie.” Linda took a step back, as if that would relieve some of the pressure. “I know I can’t just jump back into your lives just like that. But I was hoping—”

Lucy turned abruptly and faced them both, not quite caring about holding back at that moment. Were these two completely insane? “So you two are a team now, huh? What did you think? That we’d all bond over this traumatic experience?”

“It’s not like that, Lucy.” Linda’s voice was soft and calm, something Lucy was used to hearing after a binge or a blowup. She walked over to Lucy and stood beside her. “I heard about Katie—and the surgery—and I just wanted to be here.”

Linda tried to put a gentle hand on Lucy’s arms, but she broke away and crossed to the other side of the kitchen. “You can’t help us!” Lucy raged. “You never could, and you never will!” Lucy snatched her purse from the counter. “Letting her back into your life is a mistake,” she said to Katie, walking out of the kitchen. “You’ll only get hurt.” And then they heard the door slam.

Déjà vu? Was it not less than twenty-four hours ago that Lucy was taking this exact same escape route? She didn’t care. What other choice did she have? At least she could give herself some props for not crying…until she walked out. Tears dribbled quickly down her cheeks as she made her way down the street. Lucy did not attempt to wipe them; she only covered them by lowering her sunglasses down on her face. She wondered how she could possibly get herself out of what seemed to be an impossible situation. Would she now demand that Linda leave or she wouldn’t go through with the surgery? Even she wasn’t that heartless. Or was she? She thought of Bobbi at the coffee shop and how easily she had read Lucy. Maybe she would have some advice. It sounded crazy just thinking about it, but at this point there weren’t many options.

Before she knew it, Lucy had almost reached the shopping center. Something she hadn’t thought about was how late it was getting. The streets were pretty congested, and there were more people milling around this time. As she walked through the parking lot toward the coffee shop, her phone rang. She heard it, obviously, but didn’t even bother to look at it. There was not one person she wanted to hear from. Well, maybe there was one, but that ship had sailed. Lucy wiped each side of her face with an old tissue from her purse, then peered earnestly through the window. The shop was crowded, with almost every counter spot taken. Two women whipped back and forth behind the counter like Daytona drivers, but to her regret neither one was Bobbi. She took an anxious last look around the place and finally gave up. Now what?

“You okay, miss?”

Lucy felt a hand touch her shoulder and jolted her head back from the window.

“Sorry.” She moved to the side, making room for the man to open the entry door. He looked to be mid-forties and had a teenage girl with him. They both wore sunglasses and baseball caps, her hair pulled back, like she was the son he never had. When the man took hold of the handle and pulled, he gestured to Lucy to go ahead. “Oh…no, I’m not going in,” she said.

Still holding the door open the man replied, “Are you sure?” The girl waited behind him and stared at Lucy curiously, while the man gave Lucy one last chance. “You look like you could use a rest. Maybe something to drink?”

“No, I’m fine really.” Lucy felt strange still talking to him while he had the door open. A few patrons seated near the door had looked over and waited to see the outcome.

“If you’re worried about paying, I can—”

“What?”
Oh God, this guy thinks I’m homeless or poor or something.
“No.” Lucy began backing away sheepishly. “I was…just looking for someone.” She didn’t have time to decide if she was insulted or touched by the man’s caring nature. Either way, Lucy was out of there, and the Good Samaritan shrugged and entered the shop. Katie and Rick had told her people in Texas were friendly, and now she got to experience it firsthand.

Once again Lucy’s phone alerted her, but this time the sound indicated a text message. Once again she ignored it. She knew that eventually everyone would begin to worry, but she wasn’t ready to start acknowledging anything yet. Besides, she still hadn’t figured out what she would do about Linda. Maybe there was nothing to do. The surgery would be the next day. After a couple of recovery days, with no visits from
her
, obviously the girls would be on their way back to LA. Rick would take them to Dallas, where they’d take the train home. Then she would never see either of them again.
Yep, that’s the plan,
Lucy thought to herself indignantly.
Then Katie will finally see for herself what Mom is really like.

Once Lucy got out of the strip mall parking lot, her thoughts had her wandering farther than she was familiar with. She contemplated calling Rick and telling him to pick her up. The sun was starting to set, and she really didn’t know where else to go. Just the thought of making that call and having to face everyone made her frustration level rise again.
This is crap!
She wasn’t going to let herself cry again. That part had to be over, but not letting it out cranked her anger up a notch. She charged across a side street and towards some industrial buildings. Three men were huddled around a beat-up truck with a metal ladder sticking out of the back. As she passed they all stared at her. The feeling of their eyes fixated on her fueled her anger even more. One of them, who was barefoot and had a bald head, made a sound like he’d just eaten something seriously delicious. Then he said, “Niiice.”

“Why don’t you losers get a life?” Lucy said as casual as could be. “Or better yet, how ’bout a job.”
Assholes.
She kept walking and didn’t look back. She could hear them all laughing it up, which just confirmed her evaluation of them. Her heart skipped a beat and she picked up her pace when she heard the doors close and the engine start, but thankfully they drove in the opposite direction. Lucy couldn’t take it any longer. She ran around to the back of one of the buildings, but just as she stepped over a small curb with one foot, her ankle gave way and she felt a tingly crack. She limped, pissed and mortified, over to the back of the building. Her back slumped against the wall, and she slid down to the ground, her glasses falling to her side. With her purse in her lap and her knees clutched close, her head dropped down to her folded arms. The tiny pit of pressure that was on her ankle stung, and she begged out loud, “Please don’t let this be serious.”

As much as Lucy pushed people away, she didn’t want to be alone now. Those were the times she felt deep despondency. The kind of grief that left some people feeling there was no way out. She didn’t want to feel that way anymore, and she certainly didn’t want to feel that way now. She couldn’t, because of Katie. Lucy was trapped inside herself, at least until after tomorrow. The sleeves on her shirt moistened up against her face as that powerful reality sank in. She tried to convince herself that it was only the pain from her ankle that was causing her distress. Then, after minutes which seemed like hours, the grinding of gravel on the ground nearby startled her. She sucked in a quick breath and popped her head up.

“Hi, Lucy.”

She squinted up at the tall figure that was halfway blocking the setting sun. He wore loose-fitting jeans and a button-down shirt. Praying that it wasn’t a dream, she turned her body and adjusted her view for clarity. It was him. She immediately got to her feet and plunged into him, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

“Well this is something I didn’t expect!” he said with a quiet chuckle.

“Kyle, I can’t believe you’re here.” Lucy was still hanging on tightly, but balanced on one foot. Her eyes were still wet and closed. There were no more games to be played. No pretending not to need him. She
did
need him—now more desperately than ever. They stood there frozen in time until her grip finally loosened.
Wait a second,
the thought jingled in her brain.
What is he doing here?

He seemed to read her mind, or at least her expression. “I know, pretty crazy, huh?”

His smell was familiar, and his body felt perfectly fit to hers. Although every inch of her didn’t want to pull away, her curiosity took over. “What are you doing here? I don’t mean just in Texas either, actually right here?”

“Looking for you.”

“Well I kind of figured that much out…but why?” She tried to take a step back, but leaning on her foot made her wince and do a little hop.

“What happened? Are you okay?” He tried to balance her by holding her under one arm.

“I think I twisted my ankle.”

“Here, let’s get you to the car.” Kyle bent over and began to pick her up.

“Wait!” Lucy hopped back on one foot. “What car? You need to tell me what’s going on.”

“Look, I’ll explain everything after we take care of you. Now will you let me carry you?”

She stood staring at him with a look that said,
That’s not good enough.

“Lucy, I came here to help you.” His voice was stern yet convincing. “Yesterday after we spoke I knew you didn’t mean what you said. And I knew I
had
to see you. So here I am. Now can we
please
go somewhere else and talk? I rented a car…it’s around the other side of this building.” He opened his arms pleadingly and waited for her response.

Lucy knew he was right. She gave a couple of mini head nods and hobbled closer to him. “I’m sure I can walk though.”

“Better not take any chances.” He scooped her up into his arms and gave her an understanding grin. She hung on tightly as he carried her to the car, studying his face as he looked ahead, trying to memorize every facial feature.

Kyle had rented a maroon Ford Escort. Although not really his style, he was happy to get something decent at the last minute and without a reservation. In the car he explained how he’d arrived this morning and as part of his master plan got to Katie’s house about an hour ago. Anne had filled him in on the details as they were relayed to her from Katie. Lucy felt a pang of guilt when Kyle told her that Rick was out looking for her as well.

“Hey,” Lucy said, interrupting his detailed account. “Where are we going?”

“Well, I guess that’s up to you. I could take you back to your sister’s if you want.”

“What do you mean? What other choice do I have?”

“I got a room just a few miles away. If you need more time, Lucy, we can go there.” Kyle looked down at her with a concentrated stare, his eyebrows raised.

Lucy looked down at her ankle and tried to make a few rotations with it. The slip-on loafers she was wearing felt tighter, and her ankle appeared to be puffier. A terrifying thought sliced into her brain. “Oh God,” she whispered to herself.

“What?”

“There can’t be anything wrong with my ankle.”

“It’s probably just a sprain.”

“No, you don’t understand!” Lucy’s voice strained, and her eyes looked frantic. “There can’t be anything wrong with it. They won’t do the surgery if they see this.”

Kyle put his hand on Lucy’s knee. He wanted to calm her, but he knew that he shouldn’t make idle promises. “Let’s go back to my room and take a look. Maybe it just needs some ice. We’ll figure this all out, together.”