In Her Eyes (18 page)

She wanted to go so bad, but there was just no way. She couldn’t even imagine asking for three days off as a first year, even though she was technically only six weeks away from being a second year resident. Plus there was Emma, and her school.

Several nurses walked outside towards a concrete bench with identical Vera Bradley lunch boxes that looked more like large hand purses. Casey’s attention turned back to her lecture as the lights in the lecture hall turned off and a Power Point presentation popped up on the white dry erase boards at the front of the classroom.

A cute Asian girl stood off to the right, while a pudgy white guy started talking. Casey couldn’t remember his name, but it was something like William, or Todd. One of those names that made you think he was going to barely finish residency in time to get his trust fund that couldn’t be opened until he turned thirty.

Ugh, stop being such a bitch and just pay attention.

Several female residents in front of her started chatting, and then another small group to her left as well.
Seriously? I’m finally trying to pay attention…

A couple of them pointed towards the right side of the room. Casey looked over to her right, thinking maybe someone had walked in late or something, but there was no one there.

The pudgy guy kept on talking, so enthralled in hearing himself speak that he didn’t even notice no one was paying attention. Even the cute Asian girl standing next to him was now looking to the right as well.

Casey looked to the right again.
Seriously, what are they…

That’s when she saw him. Ben was in the courtyard outside the lecture hall stretching his hams and quads on the bench seat at the table next to where the nurses were sitting. Another runner was with him. Casey watched as they both bent down on their right knee and pulled their right foot towards their back. They held it for a few seconds and then switched sides.

From this angle she had a perfect view of his profile. She could see his left quad tighten as he pulled his foot closer and closer to the blue nylon shorts that were also being stretched tight against his muscles.

His stomach flexed and her eyes traced the outline of his obliques up to the lines that formed his chest, and then down to just below his waist where they tucked tightly into his shorts.

She continued to watch as he stood up and walked over to the nurses’ table. He was smiling as they talked and then they pointed towards the windows that Casey was sitting behind. She looked around and it seemed like most of the class, even some of the guys, were watching him.

She tried to quietly get up, but forgot about her iPad and almost knocked it off the desk as she stood. Several students looked back at her. “Sorry,” she whispered.

She walked quickly up the ramp that led out of the auditorium and opened the door to the courtyard. The sunlight met her smile with instant warmth and Ben turned around as the door shut behind her.

She looked over at the windows to see if anyone was still watching as she walked towards him, but they were tinted and she could only see a small reflection of the courtyard instead.

“I thought you were stopping by later?” Casey said, still unable to wipe the smile from her lips.

“Kiss me,” he said.

“What?” she asked, surprised at his choice of words.

He stepped closer. “Kiss me.”

His voice was calm and steady, almost commanding. His body language was the same as that one night he snuck into her window, as if he were here for one thing and one thing only.

Her body tingled as the warmth of the sun spread over her, coaxing away the goosebumps from the frigid hospital.

Ben pinched the fabric near the waist of her scrubs and pulled her closer and until she had to put her hands on his bare stomach to stop him. As her fingers felt the firm creases in his stomach, he repeated himself one more time. “Kiss me.”

Her body betrayed her mind and she raised up on her toes moving closer to his lips. His warm hands slid softly over her arms, reversing the job the sun had started, and sending chills throughout the rest of her body. She wasn’t prepared for the sensation of his lips against hers. With his hands barely touching her it felt as if his lips held her entire body.

Casey opened her eyes and realized everyone in the courtyard was staring straight at them. The nurses at the bench, the attending doctors across the way, the guy that Ben was running with. She could feel all of their eyes.

“I’ll try to call or text when I can,” Ben said.

Casey nodded.

“And we can hang out Sunday after work, if you don’t have other plans?”

“That sounds perfect.”

Ben smiled at her and then nodded over at the guy standing behind him. He was about to take off when Casey said, “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.” It was a famous quote from Steve Prefontaine, the guy Ben was always talking about.

Ben paused for a moment holding her gaze. “As weird as this sounds, that may be the hottest thing you’ve ever said to me.” He leaned in and kissed her one more time and took off running, leaving Casey standing there smiling.

When she walked back in, she tried to keep her head down, using the same elementary philosophy that if you never make eye contact with your teacher, they can’t call on you. But this wasn’t elementary school. Several of the male residents stood up and started making that horribly annoying hooting thing that guys do. “Whoo whoo woo!”

Casey was so unbelievably embarrassed and then the girls joined in with their higher pitched cheers. Even pudgy Tom had stopped talking and was now clapping. Casey didn’t know what to do so she just stood there blushing, with her hand over her lips where Ben’s had just been.

* * *

“Man, was that your girl?” Brad said as he and Ben jogged alongside Center Road, back towards campus. Parker bailed on their run today, so Brad had tagged along. “That body. That face. Man, I’d…”

Ben interrupted him. “Are you familiar with the phrase ‘when all you have is a hammer?’”

Brad looked at Ben kind of confused as they ran. “No, why?”

“Because I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your previous words were going to be something along the lines of, ‘Man I’d like to be friends with her, because she looks like such a nice girl.’ Because if I happened to believe you were thinking disrespectful thoughts about that girl back there, well…then you’re going to find out why every problem I have is a nail.”

Brad didn’t say another word the rest of the workout.

43

Regionals

May 16, 2015

Ben sat alone in a crimson padded fold out chair in the University of Alabama locker rooms. It felt like he had been doing nothing but sitting since they arrived in Tuscaloosa four days ago.

He looked up at the black and white clock on the wall. It was 5:23 p.m. on Saturday afternoon and the only event that remained was the Men’s 5000 meter. To most people at the University of Florida the race didn’t mean a single thing because Florida had already secured enough points to win the Southeastern Conference Championships and a trip to next month’s NCAA Championships. For most people this was a race for second between Texas A&M and Arkansas. Not to Ben.

Ben leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees as he rolled his wrists in small circles. He opened and closed his hands flexing muscles all the way up to his shoulder. He felt tight.

He closed his eyes and tried to think of something, anything. But all he could see was the inexplicable darkness. He recalled the last words Casey said to him before he left.
To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.

The door to the locker room opened and Ben could hear the cacophony of noises from the crowd.

Parker stepped into the doorway, the sun behind him creating a silhouette. “It’s time,” he said.

The words reverberated through him like the echo of the crowd against the stands.
It’s time.

44

Charts and Records

May 16, 2015

Casey had been sitting in the resident’s workroom for the past hour, charting and scheduling out-patient consultations. All the other interns, except one, had already gone home for the day, and it was her turn to wait to hand off the team’s patients to the night intern.

Melissa sat across from her, re-reviewing patient charts. Ever heard of a paranoid patient? Well, Melissa was a paranoid doctor. A good doctor, but paranoid nonetheless. She put down her charts and looked up at Casey. “You need any help updating the patient list?”

That was another thing about Melissa. She always wanted to help. Which can be good, or bad, depending on how you look at it. “I’m good,” Casey said. “Almost done anyways.”

Melissa walked over to the television hanging from one of those corner wall mounts and flipped it on. “Hey, Casey,” she said.

Casey ignored her for the moment, she was almost done and her co-intern would be here shortly so she could leave.

“Casey,” Melissa said again, and again Casey ignored her.

“Isn’t that your boy on T.V.?”

Casey looked up. After the whole thing in the courtyard a few days ago, everyone finally knew she was dating Benson Wilder, University of Florida track star. And kisser extraordinaire. The girls would tease her and then tell her how jealous they were, while the guys resorted to giving her hi-fives, whatever that meant. So, for a moment she thought Melissa was just teasing her.

Then she looked up and saw Melissa staring at a group of runners rounding an orange track. Casey was too far away from the T.V. to see anything, so she stood up and walked closer until she was standing right next to Melissa, looking up at the screen. “I thought he said they weren’t airing the regionals,” she said more to herself than to Melissa.

Melissa answered anyways though. “I don’t think they are. They just cut to this and the announcer said something about some record.”

Casey looked at the screen. In the bottom right was Ben’s current time, followed by his projected time, followed by the SEC record. The record was 13:41, and he was projected to run a 13:22. He was nineteen seconds fast. She thought back to what he told her on their first date.
A single second is a lifetime on the track.

He wasn’t just going to break the record, he was going to shatter it.

The cameraman zoomed out and showed the considerable lead Ben had on the rest of the group.

“He’s really fast,” Melissa said.

There were so many different records it was hard to say what any of them even meant. Yet, having already won the race, Ben pushed himself harder. Cemoy Kampbell from Arkansas had hung with Ben for most of it, but now even he fell forty to fifty feet back.

The fans in the crowd cheered and the announcer went wild. His teammates began to scream and yell. They all thought one thing, and one thing only: Ben wasn’t just trying to win, he was trying to break the SEC meet record.

The only person who thought differently was standing a thousand miles away in small hospital room. She knew he was trying to hold on to some distant piece of himself that he believed he could only find when he was running on edge. She knew that the records were just numbers without meaning. And it scared her to think how hard he was pushing himself right now.

Ben crossed the finish line and the camera panned back to the others as they came in behind him, and then the channel flipped back to an ESPN broadcaster. “Well, there you have it folks. Benson Wilder of the University of Florida has just broken a twelve-year-old SEC meet record with a time of 13:21:54. More on that later, but for now back to the Braves and Marlins, where Atlanta still leads 5-3.”

45

Once In A Lifetime

May 17, 2015

Even though it was Sunday the stadium was packed when the white motor coach turned in. Attached to the front of the huge bus was a white banner that read “Here Come The Gators.” Casey was standing alongside Nikki, and thousands of other friends and family. She had dropped Emma off at a friend’s house just before lunch.

As the bus drove onto the track “I Gotta Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas started playing over the loudspeakers. The crowd was starting to pick up with energy holding up signs, clapping, whistling, yelling. Really anything they could do to make noise.

The bus pulled to a stop on the track in front of the bleachers and the front folding doors swung open. A security guard stepped off first followed by the coaching staff.

Different sections in the crowd cheered louder as their friend stepped off the bus. Casey recognized a lot of the guys, but didn’t know some of their names. She saw the guy that visited her at the hospital with Ben the day before she left. And then she saw Parker. He had a huge smile on his face as he stepped off holding his finger emphatically toward the crowd as he yelled “Number one!”

The last person off the bus was Ben. He waved to the crowd with a smile as an electric current of cheers lit up the stadium. Casey and Nikki cheered along with them.

The music coming from the loudspeakers died down as someone began to speak. “Ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome the Outdoor Track and Field 2015 Southeastern Conference Champions. Yourrrrrr Florrrrriiiidddaaaa Gators!”

Again the grandstand of over 5,000 people erupted.

Coach Melvick walked up to the microphone and said a few words, congratulating the team and thanking the fans and families for their support.

Casey looked back at Ben and his eyes were locked on hers. It wasn’t a serious gaze, but playful. He was smiling. He looked genuinely happy.

The seats emptied when Coach Melvick finished talking and everyone scattered amongst the team congratulating them in person. Nikki and Casey stood near the fence trying to separate from the crowd, but they didn’t see Ben.

“You’re Casey, right?”

Casey turned her attention to the left where one of the runners was standing. She recognized him, but didn’t know his name. “Umm, yes…”