In Her Eyes (15 page)

“Okay, tell me how you left it again.”

“He said he needed a week to focus on finals because he couldn’t afford to lose his scholarship. I could tell something else was wrong, so I pressed him.”

“And that’s when he told you his wife died giving birth to his daughter, and his daughter died to medical complications years later?” Nikki asked.

“Yes,” Casey said.

“And what did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything. I just hugged him.”

“Have you seen the segment they did on him?”

“No, I want to hear it from him, not from some reporter on television.”

“I don’t know if you want to hear this but everybody has been talking about it on campus,” Nikki said.

Casey didn’t say anything.

“Okay, well it’s Wednesday now. The week is halfway over. You said you’re going to see him on Sunday when he gets back from LSU?”

“Yeah, but…” Casey started.

“But what?” Nikki asked.

“But what if things are different between us?”

“Do you want them to be different?”

“No,” Casey said.

“Then when you see him don’t let them be different.”

“You sure you don’t mind watching Emma on Sunday?”

“Do we have to go over this every single time I watch Emma?”

“I’m sorry,” Casey said. “I just—”

“Stop it. I love watching Emma. If you ever ask me and I can’t, I’ll tell you.”

“Okay,” Casey said. “I guess I’m going to try and get some sleep.”

“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow,” Nikki said.

Casey plugged her phone in and sat it by her pillow on the edge of the bed. She rolled over and looked up at the ceiling. Little strips of moonlight crawled across the random textures. The image of Ben leaning against his truck as they drove away that day after the race was still ingrained in her mind.

Everything he said that day made sense. He needed to focus on finals and the last regular season meet at LSU this weekend. The spring semester ended tomorrow and most students would be spending their summer at the beach, while Ben was busy training for regionals and barring any unforeseen circumstances the NCAA Championships.

His coach was right, the last thing he needed was to lose focus and screw something up school related or perform terrible at LSU and put his team in a bad situation for regionals.

She pressed the round white circle at the bottom of her iPhone one more time. It was 10:43 p.m., exactly seventy-three minutes past her self-imposed bedtime.

Maybe I should just call him. He’s probably not even asleep yet. Maybe he’s lying in bed looking at his phone every other minute too.

Casey swiped the lock screen to the right and pressed the little green phone icon on the bottom left of the screen. She scrolled through her contacts until she got to his name.
I’m just going to call him.

Instead she rolled over and put the phone on her nightstand and then rolled back onto her back.
Or I’ll just stare at the ceiling for another hour.

It didn’t take an hour though, only another ten minutes before she started to fall asleep. When it came to staying up late, she was a lightweight.

Tnnnnt.

Tnnnth.

Casey turned in her sleep. The sound at the window had pulled her into that half asleep, half-awake state, but she ignored it.

Tnntt. Tnt.

Her eyes opened. There it was again. She looked over at the window. The white sheer curtains were drawn, but not fully. There was a one-foot vertical sliver of the window she could see out. An old maple tree sat outside her window and some of the branches rubbed against the roof on windy nights. Sometimes it would wake her up, but it was strangely peaceful.

Tnnnt. Tnnnt.

She heard the sound again. She knew it wasn’t coming from the maple tree. Not because she was some kind of weird nature sound expert, but because she just saw two brown twigs bounce off her window, followed by two more.

Casey pulled the blanket off and stepped out of bed. As soon as she got to the window, she knew exactly what the sound was. Crouched in the same bright blue tank top he always wore was Ben.

She undid the latch on the window, lifted it open and bent over to look out. Before she could say anything, Ben started to climb in through the window.

Is this really happening? Is my boyfriend sneaking in through my window in the middle of the night?

My boyfriend? She realized that was the first time she’d referred to Ben as her boyfriend. She almost felt sixteen again.

Casey closed the window behind Ben. “What are you doing?” she whispered.

Without hesitation Ben ran his hand along her face until it cupped the back of her neck. He looked down at her and pressed his forehead against hers bringing his lips so close to hers that with each breath they barely brushed against one another.

“Ben,” she whispered. “I thought you needed to…” Her words trailed off as he gently pressed his lips against hers. It felt like a feather running across her lips, softer than she’d ever been kissed before.

She had two immediate thoughts:
Oh my gosh
and
what if my breath stinks.

His lips left hers and started to move deliberately across her face. He started with the corner of her mouth and then just below her cheekbone. She could feel his breath exhale unhurriedly against her skin and the slight coarseness of his face as his lips traced along her jawbone.

Casey’s hands moved to his arms and she breathed out his name faintly. “Ben…”

She felt him close in on the bottom of her left ear, his teeth lightly pulling down on her ear lobe until she could feel tens of thousands of nerve endings explode.

Her right hand moved over his shoulder and to the back of his neck, scratching just below his hair, as his tongue continued to kiss and flick in the small space behind her ear.

She let out a weak sigh the moment his lips touched her neck and any thoughts she had left vanished.

His hands wrapped around her bare shoulders as his lips kept moving further down her body. First across her collarbone and then down her chest until his lips reached the upper fabric of her shirt.

All of Casey wanted to lift her shirt over her head and make him keep going, but she couldn’t move. His hand slid from her shoulders, brushing delicately against the sides of her chest until they stopped on her waist as he went to his knees.

She watched his head sink slowly below her and ran her fingers through his hair. He lifted the hem of her shirt just slightly to kiss along the waistline of her shorts. Her head fell back as she breathed heavily and she felt herself lift up slightly on her toes, revealing even more of herself to him.

Casey’s hands moved the to top of his, holding them tightly against her and when he looked up at her she could see the desire in his eyes.

Ben pulled his hands from hers and ran his fingertips just inside the cusp of her shorts. He pulled at them lightly and another shock wave of nerve endings erupted as his lips moved across the top of her panties.

Even through the cotton of her shorts she could feel his hands as they moved down her legs. His lips followed behind them brushing against her upper thigh and started to move inwards to places she’s never been kissed before.

Ben moved his hands down the backside of her calves as he continued kissing every inch of her thigh. The whole room felt like it was slowly spinning, and Casey didn’t know if she could stand much longer.

“Ben,” she whispered, her heart racing.

Ben stood up at the sound of her voice and stared at her lips as they said his name again: “Ben.” But he didn’t respond.

His hands moved back to her waist and he began to push her backward slowly until the back of her legs felt the cool metal of the bed frame.

He laid her down against the bed and followed, lying next to her, only to start all over again.

His face hovered over hers, kissing the side of her head and her cheek, leaving traces of his lips everywhere but on hers. She could feel his wet tongue approach her ear again, licking and teasing.

Her body shuddered against his and it was all she could do to hold back the soft moans and groans she wanted so badly to release.

Casey opened her eyes for what felt like the first time in hours and realized her hands had been on his chest this whole time. The second she moved them to his waist she could feel chills glide across his body. She started to move her hand lower against his skin and his arms gave way, dropping his weight onto her.

She finally let out a soft moan as their bodies started to move together. His lips found hers again and she instinctively found herself wanting to pull his shirt off him. At that moment all of her thoughts returned and suddenly she was terrified at what was about to happen.

“Ben,” she said into his lips. Casey knew if she didn’t stop him now she wouldn’t be able to stop in a second. “Ben, we can’t,” Casey said again between kisses. Her body betrayed her words though as she raised her legs against his sides bringing him inexplicably closer.

“I know,” Ben said. But he didn’t stop. His tongue pressed into hers and she welcomed it. Her hands began to pull his shirt up just slightly and she could feel his bare stomach against hers.

He moved away from her lips and back to her neck, and her back arched as his hips moved against hers. Casey opened her eyes and looked back up at the same empty ceiling she was staring at before he showed up, and gently pushed him towards it.

Ben rose up on his arms, hovering over her, and she smiled as his hungry blue eyes burned into hers. Then she did something she knew she shouldn’t have done. She ran her tongue over the bottom of her lip.

He lowered himself closer to her again, but she stopped him.

Not taking his eyes off her he collapsed to the bed beside her. “I’m sorry. I’ve just been thinking about you non-stop all week. I thought I could just see you for a second, but when I got here…I couldn’t…everything about you is just…”

“Just what?”

“Perfect. Which is why I can’t be in this room another second with you, or I won’t ever be able to stop again.” Ben leaned down and kissed Casey on the cheek one last time, and she could feel his reluctance in leaving.

She watched him stand up and walk over to the window, still not taking his eyes off her. Then he shook his head with a smile, and climbed out the window, pulling it shut behind him.

39

With You

April 26, 2015

Casey shut the car door behind her and pressed the garage door button to close on her way inside. Emma followed behind her as Casey bumped the coffee table with her shin.

“Shi—oot!” she yelled.

She grabbed the remote and clicked through the channels looking for the SEC Network.

“Mom,” Emma said from the kitchen. “Can I have some cookies before dinner?”

“Sure honey,” Casey said, not even hearing the question.

By the time she found the right channel just over one lap remained. The camera zoomed in on Ben and two other runners as they crossed into the final lap. The camera zoomed back out revealing a small gap between the rest of the runners. Casey couldn’t make out the faces but there were two other blue Florida shirts in the mix, and she knew one must be Parker.

Emma sat down in the arm chair next to her, but Casey didn’t even notice the plate of Oreos.

After the first turn of the final lap the lead runner picked up the pace. Ben followed suit and the top three runners ran the backstretch in a single file line, with Ben now in second. At turn three nothing changed, and then at turn four still nothing.

“Why isn’t he making his move?” Casey said out loud.

Casey’s heart was pounding. They pulled within several hundred feet of the finish line, but Ben still sat in second place.

“Only two hundred feet now separate Blake Anthony from pulling off a huge upset over Ben Wilder,” the announcer said.

Casey’s hands squeezed around the remote until the plastic started to groan.

“Wait,” the other announcer said. “Look at this.”

Ben darted out from behind the leader and pulled up alongside him, each step in unison. The camera zoomed in on the finish and Casey watched as Ben crossed the finish line one step ahead.

“Unbelievable,” the announcer said. “Benson Wilder, the current SEC record holder, will head to regionals in a few weeks unbeaten.”

* * *

Just over twenty four hours later Casey pulled into the parking lot in front of Ben’s dorm. She wanted to do something special with him tonight. Not just because she hadn’t seen him in a few days, but also because after his win on Saturday he was officially going into the SEC Regionals as the number one ranked runner in the 5000 meter for the SEC and the number two ranked runner in the nation.

The problem was that not a lot of places were open on Sunday night, especially since she ended up working two hours past her normal shift. It was just a few minutes past eight when she picked up her phone to call him. Before she could dial, though, he came walking out the front door.

She was so used to seeing him in blue running shorts, or blue sweats, or basically any of the blue and white or gray athletic gear the university supplied. He wasn’t wearing any of that. Not even the running shoes.

He looked the same way he did on their first date. He was wearing jeans and a collared pull-over with the sleeves rolled up that had thick red and navy horizontal stripes. He also had on a pair of brown boots, and a thick brown belt. He looked at ease as he walked towards her.

Casey suddenly got worried right before Ben opened the passenger side door. She thought back to what Nikki had said to her.
If you don’t want things to be different, don’t let them be different.

All of her worries were erased the second he stepped into the car. Because the very first thing he did was to hold her face in his hand and pull her lips into his. “I missed you,” he said.

“I missed you too.”

He kissed her again. “If you want,” and again, “we can just,” and again, “stay,” and again, “right,” and again, “here.” Her mouth moved in sync with his and she thought back to Wednesday night when his lips had moved effortless across her body.