Imaginary Grace (27 page)

Chapter 39

Grace

I
climbed the stairs to my room, my stomach full from pizza and my face tight from smiling so much. How many times could I tell myself that this had been the “best day ever”?

As expected, Beth was lying on the bed, her laptop in front of her and an open chemistry book to her right. She glanced up at me as I came in, then did a double take at my dreamy expression. “Um, I’m assuming all is well?”

“Great, just great…” I crooned, then looked at Beth. “I know, I know, you want details.”

“What do you take me for, a superficial gossip?” she asked, then rolled her eyes. “Well, are there any?”

“Details, sure,” I said, but when I told her all about my day at Tanner’s, I conveniently left out the part where we almost did it. I didn’t know why I left that out, but for some reason, I didn’t want to tell her.

She just narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously, like she knew I was leaving something out. She didn’t question me about it, though, so I sat down on my bed and started going through the books I needed to finish up my paper. That lasted about all of three minutes.

“Beth,” I said quietly.

“Yeah,” she replied without looking up from her computer.

“I think I’m…I think I’m in love with him.”

She looked over at me for a moment, then deadpanned, “Well,
duh
.”

“No, really, Beth. This isn’t just lust or infatuation. This is the
real
thing.”

“I knew it! You guys did it, didn’t you?” she exclaimed, then swung her legs over the side of the bed and walked toward me, her hands on her hips. She was staring at my face as if she was expecting it to look different.

“No! Well, almost, but it’s not about that,” I said.

“I knew you were holding back! What happened today?”

“No, nothing. I mean, everything,” I said, confusing the both of us. “It’s just so much more. He’s just…just
incredible.
He’s
perfect
.”

“Incredible? Perfect? What. Happened?” she demanded, and I realized I sounded like any other girl who was smitten with the “hot guy” at school. How could I explain it to her?

“I already told you. We hung out at his place and then went for pizza,” I told her, but it sounded lame.

“
Come on
, Grace, stop talking about the damn pizza and tell me what happened when you were at his place.”

I finally gave in. “Nothing happened, but it almost did.”

“So you stopped it?” she questioned.

I suddenly found something very interesting in one of my books. “No, that’s the thing,” I said, staring down at the page. “
He
stopped it. He said things were moving too fast and we needed to slow down. Oh, and then he said he didn’t want me to do anything that I’d regret later. Isn’t that sweet?” Beth didn’t answer me, so I looked over at her. “Beth?”

She was quiet for a moment, her eyes tilted upward as she mulled it over. Then she said, “Grace, that’s just weird. Are you sure you didn’t put out some sort of signal that you wanted him to stop?”

“No, definitely not. In fact, he actually grabbed my wrist and stopped me in my tracks.”

She thought about it for another minute. “Grace, I know it sounds sweet, especially coming from a godlike creature like Tanner.” She ignored my sharp look. “But that is
really
strange, I don’t care who the guy is. He’s a college student—not a monk. Something else is going on here.” Her face softened. “Grace, do you think he might have a girlfriend or something?”

Just the suggestion, as outlandish as it was, made my stomach drop. I knew I sounded defensive when I said, “No way—not Tanner. He is--”

Beth put her hand up, trying to calm me. “Whoa, I’m not saying he does…but c’mon, Grace, you really think he’s that concerned with your virtue?”

“I’m just telling you what he said…what can I do besides take him at his word?”

Beth snorted. “Well, you can try holding him down and forcing yourself on him.”

I giggled, because it was funny and because I knew she was trying to make me feel better. “There’s an idea. I’d better start spending more time at the gym, though.”

“Well,” she said as she turned back to her schoolwork, “when you do finally wear him down, I want to be the first to know.”

Chapter 40

Tanner

I
opened the door of my apartment and walked into a haze of marijuana smoke. Scott, Kristen and Amber were on the couch, passing a joint around.

I shook my head in disgust. “Scott, I told you not to smoke that shit in the house. It takes days to get the smell out.”

“All right, all right” he said, as he reached over to the ashtray and stubbed the joint out. Judging from the wide-eyed expressions on their faces, I assumed it had been going on for a while already.

“Hi, Tanner,” Amber said slowly.

“Hey, what’s up?” I said with no emotion.

Scott and Kristen started giggling in true stoner fashion, but I ignored them and went into the kitchen. As expected, Scott followed a second later. “Hey, Amber really wants to hang out with you.” He was whispering so low I could barely hear him.

“Not interested,” I said flatly as I grabbed myself a bottle of water.

“Come on. If you don’t hang with her, they’re gonna leave, and I really wanna hang with Kristen.” Scott tended to whine when he was stoned, making him even more annoying.

“Not my problem,” I said as I shut the refrigerator door.

“Shit,” I heard him say as I left him standing there. I breezed past the girls without even acknowledging them, went into my room, and closed the door behind me. I turned the TV on and lay down, but a few minutes later there was a knock on my door. I got up and opened it to find Scott standing there.

“Hey, I got Kristen to come into my room. Give me a couple of condoms, I’m all out.”

I walked over to my nightstand drawer, pulled out the box and tossed it to him. “There, that should keep you busy for a while. Anything else?”

“Nah, thanks, man,” he said as he trotted back to his room.

Deciding I’d take a shower and try to turn in early, I grabbed a pair of sweatpants and headed for the bathroom. I normally would have just wrapped a towel around my waist, but Amber was probably still lurking around and I didn’t need her getting any ideas. I wasn’t tooting my own horn, not really, I just knew Amber.

When I got into my room the lights were out, even though I distinctly remembered leaving them on. Before I could reach the switch I felt two hands running up my bare chest.
Amber.
“Get. The fuck. Off me,” I said as plainly as I could. I reached over to flip the light switch on. She was standing there, glassy-eyed, in her bra and thong.

“Come on, Tanner, I miss you,” she whined, and I realized the only thing more annoying than Amber was Stoned Amber.

“Amber, you need to leave.”

“Come on,” she continued. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“Amber, I’ll say it again: you need to leave.” I pointed my finger back and forth between us. “Whatever you imagined was going on here is over, so get dressed and get out.”

She took a few steps back, and I saw her eyes change from wide-eyed and dazed to narrow and pissed off. “Who the fuck do you think you are, you arrogant asshole!” she yelled, walking up and slamming her palms against my chest, pushing me back slightly.

I grabbed both her wrists with one hand and said through clenched teeth, “Keep your fucking hands off me.” She struggled against my grip but it was no use. “You knew the deal from the start. I’m not your fucking boyfriend and I never led you on. I was up front about everything and you went along with it, so don’t blame me if it’s not working out the way you thought. Now get your shit together and please, get out.”

I let go of her wrists and she stepped back, still glaring at me. Suddenly my phone went off, and I knew by the tone that it was a text from Grace. We both looked towards my bed where the phone was lying, then we lunged for it, but she was quicker. She grabbed it and looked at the screen. “Grace? Who’s Grace?” she questioned.

“Give me my phone, Amber,” I said, but I knew she could tell from my voice that I was uneasy.

“Hmm, let’s see what ‘Grace’ has to say,” she said. I took a step toward her, but she put her hand up. “Come any closer and I’ll slam it into pieces,” she challenged as she opened the text and read it aloud, “T
hanks 4 dinner. miss u! looking 4ward 2 tues.”

She looked at me and said, “Dinner? Are you like
dating
someone? Since when do you
date
? Who is she?” When I didn’t answer, she said, “Let me get this straight. You’re
dating
her, but you’re sleeping with me?”

“Get real, Amber. I haven’t slept with you in months,” I said.

“Yeah, well you better hope for your sake that I never run into this Grace because she’s sure as shit going to get an earful if I find out you were dating her while you were sleeping with me.”

I put my hand out. “Give me my phone, Amber. Now.”

“Sure…” She smiled. “Just one sec…” I saw her fingers flying as she typed, then she said, “Here you go.” She tossed it to me, then stooped to pick up her clothes and left the room. I heard the bathroom door slam, presumably so she could pull on her clothes, then a minute later she was banging on Scott’s bedroom door and shouting Kristen’s name.

I quickly looked through my phone to see what she texted to Grace –
fuck off bitch
.
Shit
. I quickly texted back, “
sorry – Scott is stoned and being an asshole – miss u 2. Cu tues.
” Then I collapsed onto my bed. This was
not
good. My worlds had almost collided.

I heard a lot of yelling and door slamming; first Amber was yelling about what a jerk I was, then Kristen was yelling about how Amber’s drama always ruined her night. Finally the front door slammed shut and everything was quiet, until Scott appeared in my doorway. “What the fuck’s going on? What’d you do to Amber?”

“I didn’t
do
anything to her, and that’s what she’s so pissed about. Sorry to fuck up your night.”

Scott shrugged. “No worries. As soon as I heard the banging, I finished up quick. Can’t say the same for Kristen.” He laughed. “Where were you all night, anyway?”

With a vague wave of my hand, I said I had to take care of a few things, but Scott just stood there smiling with his arms folded across his chest.

“You’re full of shit. You were with Grace tonight, and don’t deny it ‘cause there’s a little white jacket hanging out there and it ain’t mine or yours.”

I guess the jig is up.
“All right, so I was with Grace. So what? I’ve come this far, and I’m not going to blow it now.”

“Are you sure you’re not into her?” he asked, squinting his eyes, “‘Cause you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with her lately. Heck, I wouldn’t blame you if you were.”

“Well, I’m not,” I lied. I just couldn’t admit to him that I was starting to fall for her. “Listen,” I said, “can you just do me a favor and keep those two away from here for now?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever, man. I thought I was doing you a favor bringing Amber here.”

“Okay, fine, but from now on, please don’t do me any more favors,” I told him as I lay back on my bed. “I gotta get some sleep.”

He shrugged again. “You got it, man. Well, see you tomorrow.”

As he headed back to his room I could have sworn I heard him chuckle.

By the time Tuesday rolled around, I was itching to see Grace. She had texted that she was running late for class so I walked in and saved two seats at the back of the lecture hall. The professor had already started speaking when the door creaked open. I looked up to see Grace slyly slink in, her eyes scanning the crowded room. When they finally landed on me her face lit up and she started making her way over. I felt my face splitting into a silly, shit-eating grin.

“Hi,” she whispered, “sorry I’m late.”

“Don’t do it again,” I replied with a wink. She giggled, face forward, and pretended to listen to the lecture.

Throughout the class I fought the urge to play with her hair, run my hand along her arm. All I wanted to do was touch her.

When class was over, we walked out together hand-in-hand like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Ready to hit the gym?” I asked.

“Ready,” she said, holding up her gym bag. When we got there we decided to meet in the cardio room after putting our stuff in our lockers. On the way out of the men’s room I ran into Scott, who had just finished his workout.

“Hey, man,” he said, and before I could say I was there with Grace he started telling me how he’d convinced Jen, one of the girls who worked at the gym, to come to the show this weekend. “I’m sure I can score with her.”

Scott. All he thought about was his next score. Then it hit me that not too long ago I was doing the same thing.

Scott didn’t even notice I had zoned out. “Catch you later, man,” he said as he left through the locker room door.

I grabbed my towel and headed to the cardio room, figuring that by now Grace would have started without me, but when I turned the corner I stopped short. There, across the room was Grace, in what looked like deep conversation with Gary. I watched him reach over and touch her arm and I saw RED. The thought of him putting his hands on her made my skin crawl.

I started walking briskly towards them and called out her name, but it came out much harsher than I’d intended. Grace jumped back, startled, and Gary’s head spun around. He looked at me as if to say,
what the fuck?.

Realizing I looked like a jealous asshole, I quickly regained my composure. “Ready, babe?” I slipped my arm around Grace, never taking my eyes off Gary. “I got it from here.”

Gary looked at Grace and rolled his eyes. “See you around, Grace,” he said as he left the room.

She watched him walk out and then looked up at me questioningly.

“What?” I asked as if I didn’t know what she meant.

“Why’d you yell my name like that?” she asked. She had me boxed into a corner, so I came clean.

Blowing out a deep breath, I said, “Let’s just say that Gary’s not my favorite person and that’s putting it mildly.”

“Why? What did he do?” she asked, clearly confused. “He seems like a nice enough guy.”

“Yeah, well, he’s not and let’s just leave it at that,” I said. She looked almost hurt by my brusqueness, and I felt bad about it. “Listen, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just that… let’s just say he’s not who you think he is.
Trust
me.”

She looked at me doubtfully, but nodded. “Okay.”

“Now, can we forget about Gary and do what we came here to do?” I said, forcing a joking tone.

“Sure,” she said, all smiles again.

Crisis averted.
With the Gary incident over, we hopped on the bikes and started pedaling. It still surprised me that she was able to keep up with me as well as she did. We pedaled hard for a good twenty minutes before calling it quits. I was wiping the sweat from my forehead when she casually mentioned that she was going home for the weekend.

“Going home!” I said, taken off guard. “What for?”
There I go snapping again.
I told myself to chill, because I was starting to sound like a real jerk. I realized in that moment that I had already been looking forward to spending the weekend with her.

“It’s the twins’ birthday,” she said.

“Oh, cool,” I said nonchalantly. “When’re you leaving?”

“Friday afternoon. I’ll be back on Sunday, though, maybe we can do something then?”

“Okay,” I said, realizing that I couldn’t have seen her Saturday anyway since the band was playing. Maybe it was a good thing she was going home. Less chance of complications. “How about I come over to your place? I can beat you at cards again.”

“Or…how about you beat me at cards at your place instead?” she said, smiling but not meeting my eyes.

“Beating you at cards at my place…” I mused as we made our way to the free weight room, “I like the sound of that.”

One hour and about a hundred reps later, I found myself waiting outside the women’s locker room for Grace. I had no idea what took her so long, but I didn’t mind. On our way out, Grace asked if she could stop by the apartment to pick up her down vest.

“You don’t have to ask if you can come over,” I said, surprising myself and delighting her. “Maybe you’ll hang out for a while?” She nodded. “So, what are you doing for the twin’s birthday?”

“Oh, probably just go out to dinner and then have cake back at the house.”

“Hey, when’s
your
birthday?” I asked, mentally scolding myself for not having asked before. What if her birthday had been like last week or something?

“September 2
nd
,” she said. “When’s yours?”

I smiled. “August 24
th.
Pretty close.”

When we got to my place, Scott was in his usual spot on the couch, remote in hand. As soon as he saw us, he jumped up and came right over to Grace, “Grace, I’d like to apologize for my childish behavior the other day when I sent that text.”

Grace held up a hand. “Oh, don’t worry about it!”

“No, please, it was very immature of me to take my annoyance with Tanner out on you, so, please, accept my apology.”

“Yeah, sure, no problem,” she said, laughing, oblivious to the warning look I shot Scott. As usual, he was pouring it on way too thick.

He gave me a smirk as if to say,
take that.
“Grace, can I get you something?” he asked, overly polite.

“Oh, no thanks,” Grace answered. Just then I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out to see that it was my mom calling, which was odd because she didn’t call very often.

“Hey, ma,” I said as I answered it. “What’s up?”

She asked me if I could stop by at some point over the weekend if I had a chance, but told me that it was nothing urgent.

“Yeah, sure. How about late Sunday morning?”

She said that was fine and we said goodbye. As I hung up I got a weird, uneasy feeling, but I shrugged it off. After all, she did say that it was nothing urgent. When I turned, I saw that Grace and Scott had gone into the kitchen. I watched Grace for a minute as she moved about the kitchen. She was again dressed very casually, in a pair of tight black running pants and a t-shirt that she must have changed into after we had finished working out. Her hair was pulled back in a braid that hung all the way down her back. I imagined myself unwinding the braid, then taking off her clothes and bending her--