His Love Shattered (Love Shattered #2) (3 page)

Dexter

I had to leave her room to get some air. I couldn’t stand the fact that the love of my life doesn’t remember me.  My heart is constricting in my chest. It feels like it could explode at any moment. She is starting to remember some things so that is a good sign. What if she never gets her memories of me back?

No, I couldn’t think like that. Have faith. Have faith. Have faith.

I had to keep repeating it over and over to myself. Faith has gotten us a long way the past two months and I have to believe it will get us through this tough time as well.

She would remember me and I would make sure of it.

How would I compete with her high school love though? He is back and she remembers him. What if she takes him back? I don’t know what I would do then. It destroys me to think about that. I need to think about something else anything else. She can’t choose him over me. What we feel when we are together has to be enough to overcome her high school love. He was her husband though or still is I guess. Doubt creeps into my mind and I try to push it back. I can’t lose her that is the bottom line. I will do whatever it takes. She is mine.

I have been out in the garden in the hospital courtyard. It is beautiful out here. I realized I have just been out here staring at the flowers lost in my own mind for almost two hours and decide now is a good time to head back inside.

When I get to Courtney’s room she is asleep. She is very fidgety and is murmuring things in her sleep. I gently cup her cheek in my hand and place a kiss on her head and stroke my thumb across her cheek bone and she calms instantly. It seems that we still have the same connection to each other even though she can’t remember me. I take her hand in mine and rest my head on top of our joined hands.

I stay like that until she starts to stir awake. I look up at her and she blinks a few times like she is confused as to why I am here.

“Hey baby girl. How are you feeling?” I ask her.

“Hey… Ugh Dexter right?” Guess she still doesn’t remember who I am. I simply nod my head yes to acknowledge her.  Scared that if I speak it will come out strangled over the lump in my throat from trying not to cry.

“I am feeling okay. My back is a little sore but other than that I am good, just groggy. I had a question for you though.” She explains.

“Sure ask away.”

“Well you mentioned before that you knew why I was on the island. I wanted to ask you why that was? I am hoping that if I know more about what happened maybe I can start getting all of my memory back.” Ah shit of all things she asks me it had to be that.

How am I going to explain to her the reason she was on the island in the first place is all my fault even though I still have absolutely no Idea why she ran off like she did. Hopefully she gets her memory back and can fill me in on that tid bit of information.

“Ugh… Well I am not sure of the exact reason. All I know is that we had decided to take our relationship to the next level… Ya know sexually. I wanted to make it special for you so I made reservations at a hotel to make it really romantic. Only we never made it to the sex part because when I surprised you with a hotel filled with rose petals and candles you bolted on me. You never gave me an explanation as to why it all upset you so much. You said you needed some time to think, that you loved me and you would talk when you got back to your house. You never made it back home that night and well here we are.”

“So you let me take my boat out in the middle of the storm? Are you crazy? You should have stopped me.” Anger laces her voice. I shake my head.

“Well, I had no idea where you were because you left so fast and hailed a taxi and vanished into thin air. I couldn’t find you anywhere. Also, it wasn’t storming when you left me. So I think you took the boat out without checking the weather. That seems to be becoming a habit with you lately. Not checking the weather I mean.” I gave her a wink to let her know I was just joking around with her.

“Well that doesn’t sound like me at all. I am usually very good at checking the weather especially before I take the boat out, but I guess it sounds like the only thing on my mind was getting away. I have a feeling I know why I left so upset from the room though.” She tells me and I get some hope that maybe she has remembered something about that night.

“So do you remember what happened that night? You remember me?” I ask hopefully.

“No, sorry I just think that maybe the rose petals and candles may have reminded me of when Dave proposed to me. He went to a hotel and did all that same stuff. When you were telling me all of that just now it upset me to remember about him proposing. I just figured that maybe that upset me.”

Well that makes sense. No wonder she freaked out. That would probably upset anyone in that situation. Why did I have to be so romantic and recreate something her dead
well not dead anymore
husband would do. God I am an idiot.

As a long stretch of silence starts to become uncomfortable I grasp at straws to try and come up with something to say.

“Your boss down at the bakery stopped by yesterday. She wanted me to tell you to focus on getting better and that when your all healed up your job will still be waiting for you when you are ready to come back.” Courtney just stares at me with bug eyes.

“My boss?” She asks confused. “You mean I have a job? Where? What do I do?”

“Well, you are the manager over at the Sweets and Treats Bakery. You love your job, you haven’t been working there long but I can tell just by the way you speak about it that you love it.” I try to explain.

“Huh….Well I have been looking for a job ever since Dave died so I guess that’s a good thing that I found one then.” She pauses and sighs deeply.

“I really want to see Lillian. When will she be able to come down for a visit?”

“If everything goes according to plans she will be down here as soon as she is discharged tomorrow. She can’t wait to see you. Your niece is beautiful by the way. A precious little girl. Lillian has been fighting the nurses to be able to come down here but they aren’t allowing it. I bet you can imagine how well that is going over with Lil.” I laughed and so did Courtney.

“I can’t wait to meet my baby niece. Hopefully she takes after her auntie or else Lillian is going to have her hands full with that one.” She looks up at me with sad eyes that break my heart. I would do anything to trade places with her right now.

“Dexter for what it’s worth…..I am really sorry that I don’t remember you. I hope that my memory comes back so that whatever it is we share together we can get back to. I can’t deny that I feel some kind of pull to you like we have known each other forever. Not remembering any of it….. That scares me. You seem like a really great guy. I can’t believe I would forget something like that.” Tears fill her eyes and I wipe each one away as they fall.

“I have faith that you will remember me baby. I am willing to wait forever if that’s what it takes for you to be in my arms again. If you don’t remember me I will make sure that from here on out that you will fall back in love with me all over again.”

Just then there was a knock on the door and I peered over to see Rob sticking his head in. He smiled at Courtney and she gave him a confused smile back.

“Sorry if I am supposed to know who you are. I seem to be having a bit of memory loss. So who are you exactly?” Courtney asks Rob.

“Hey pretty girl. I am Rob, your lover here’s best friend and costar. Speaking of costar that is actually why I am down here. Dexter can I speak with you for a moment out in the hall?” He asks me and then turns to Courtney. “As for you pretty girl, I am sure you will remember who I am with time. Even if you don’t you will be seeing a lot of me so you better get used to this handsome face.”

“Wait a minute.” Courtney sticks her hands up one over top of the other forming a time out sign.

“You said costar…. As in?” She gestures with her hand for someone to fill in the blanks.

“Sweet cheeks. Dexter and me. We are actors. We are vampires on the show
By the Light of the Moon.
So that means you are dating a hot shot actor and you can’t even remember. I gotta tell ya though. I am kind of jealous. This charming guy gets to make you fall in love with him all over again. It was funny as hell watching him take the plunge of love the first time. This is going to be epic.” I just roll my eyes at Rob.

He is being typical Rob but he made my girl laugh so I am going to let it slide for now. I nod my head indicating he needs to make his exit and I will be right out.

I walk over to Courtney and place a kiss on her forehead.

“Sorry you had to hear all that. He can be a bonehead at times.”

“It’s okay Dexter. I am still trying to take in the part about you being an actor. I think that is the show Lillian has been trying to get me to watch.” I start to chuckle. If she only knew.

“Don’t tell me? I have seen the show haven’t I?” She drops her head in her hand and shakes it in embarrassment.

“Yeah… You have seen the show sweetheart. Why don’t you try and get some rest. I am going to head out and see what Rob wanted. I will be back in just a little bit.” I give her a kiss on her knuckles. I walk over to the door and turn and give her a gentle smile.

“Sweet dreams baby.” I say and walk out the door.

When the door to Courtney’s room firmly closes I see Rob standing there in the hall and I gesture for him to go ahead with what he wanted to tell me.

“So I got a call from the producer. They want us back to film the remainder of the season as soon as we can possibly get there. They have done everything they can do without us there. Only thing left are the scenes with you and me.” I had a feeling this was going to be coming up soon. That I would have to leave my girl and head back to Alabama, but this couldn’t be any more poorly timed if they tried.

“I can’t leave Courtney right now man. I just can’t. She just got out of a coma for Christ sake. I am not going. She needs me here. I will quit if I have to but I am not leaving her side.”

“Dexter, you think I don’t know all that man? You think I want to leave Lillian right now? She just had a baby and has no husband or father to that child. I want to be here as long as I can. That’s why I think we should go home and film the scenes, get the shit done on the first try and fly back out on the next flight back to North Carolina. We can’t let our fans down man.” He does have a point. I don’t want to let all my fans down but I don’t want to let Courtney down either. She needs me here.

“You don’t understand man. I. Can. Not. Leave. Her.” I punctuate each word trying to send my point home. “I have to stay and make sure she is okay. She is the love of my life and she was just in an accident. She doesn’t even remember who I am for Christ sake.” I can feel my face getting hot with anger. How does he expect me to just leave?

“That is kind of the point man. She doesn’t remember you. Maybe some time away is what she needs to remember. In the mean time she won’t really miss what she doesn’t even know she had. Besides we have already missed three public appearances and one convention we were supposed to be hosting. We have been here dealing with all this craziness that has seemed to become our lives ever since the moment I kicked that soccer ball at them. The producers and our agents have been very understanding so far. Don’t push it. I already bought our plane tickets. The flight leaves at six tomorrow morning. I will pick you up to head to the airport at four thirty.” With that Rob storms off leaving me speechless. I guess I didn’t have any other choice. How am I supposed to explain all of this to Courtney?

I head back into her room and she is sound asleep. Shit! I wanted to go ahead and get this talk over with. I need to head over to her house and pack up all my shit. I am not leaving until I get to talk to her though. I can’t believe I am doing this. I am about to pack my things and head back to Alabama and finish filming.

I climb into the bed and lie down next to Courtney being careful of her injuries. I just need to be close to her right now. She may not remember me and may be pissed if she wakes up to me in her bed but I don’t care. This is exactly where I want to be and I know if she did remember me this is right where she would want me as well.

I must have fallen asleep. When I wake up its three in the morning. Fuck Rob will be picking me up at Courtney’s house in an hour and thirty minutes. Courtney is still sound asleep. I don’t want to but I try to wake her. She just moans and shifts a little to get more comfortable and falls right back to sleep.

Damn it
.

I do not want to leave without explaining why I had to go. Knowing I can’t miss my flight I decide to write her a heartfelt letter explaining everything. I also explain that I will be back as soon as I possibly can. I tried to put as much love in the letter as possible to somehow convey to her how I feel. So if she does remember me while I am gone she will know how much she still means to me.

I just hope that it will be enough. I place a kiss on her cheek and head out the door leaving my sleeping beauty behind.

Rob picks me up as promised. He doesn’t say a word. I assume my body language is radiating major fuck off vibes so he keeps to himself.

As the plane takes off I can’t help but feel lonely, confused, and angry. Most of all though I feel depressed. My body may have been taking off in that plane just then. My heart however, that shit was just left shattered to pieces on the tarmac below.