Finding Love at Home (The Beiler Sisters) (29 page)

“You’ll make Alvin an excellent Amish
frau
,” Verna said, her voice lilting.

Debbie bit her lip.

Verna laughed. “Now don’t go blushing on me. I know how much Alvin means to you. I’m sure he’s thinking the same thing of you. Now that the man has finally gotten around to asking you home on dates. Remember how hard we used to work, Debbie? Scheming to match Alvin up with you at my wedding as a table waiter. I thought the poor man would die of fright. But Alvin has come a long way from such a timid start, if I must say so myself.
And I’m not ashamed to claim credit either. You two make a very nice couple.”

Debbie said nothing as she held the buggy shaft as Verna led Isaiah forward. Her silence finally drew Verna’s attention.

Verna pulled Isaiah up with a jerk and turned. “Debbie, you’re sure quiet this morning. Did I say something wrong?”

Debbie dropped the shaft and covered her face with her hands. “Alvin broke off our relationship Sunday night.”

“Oh, Debbie!” Verna let the tie rope fall and rushed over. “Surely not! I can’t believe it! Why, that man is a hopeless case after all. Oh, Debbie, I’m so sorry this happened.” A strain of hope crept into Verna’s voice. “Do you think it’s final?”

Debbie choked for a moment before she answered. “I’m afraid so. My heart feels like a piece of lead sunk down to the bottom of the ocean.”

“Oh!” Verna wrapped her in another hug, and the two clung to each other for a long time—until baby Sarah Mae’s cry cracked the air. Verna let go to hurry to the buggy and gather the baby in her arms. “Were you scared that Mommy had left? I’m right here, just taking the horsey into the barn.”

“I’ll take Isaiah,” Debbie said, grabbing Isaiah’s tie rope. “You take the baby in out of the cold.”

Verna didn’t protest as she pulled the quilt off the buggy seat to wrap around Sarah Mae. “Will you bring my satchel in?”

Debbie nodded as Verna sent a mournful glance her way. “We’ll talk more about this later, Debbie.”

Debbie pulled on Isaiah’s tie rope. The horse stared at her and blinked his eyes. “You’re coming with me,” she said. Isaiah followed as if he understood. He entered the barn and whinnied to the other horses. Debbie tied him in an empty stall and gave him a small bucket of oats. She made sure there was hay in the rack and water. With one last pat on his neck, she left the barn. Verna’s buggy door was still open, so she stopped to pick up the satchel and then closed
the door. When she walked into the house, all three Beiler women were cooing over baby Sarah. Verna stood beside them with all the glory of motherhood.

Debbie quenched a sob. This was no time for a pity party. But the sight of the women gathered around the baby brought the stabbing thought that she might never get to experience giving birth to her own child.

Debbie pasted on a smile and joined the group. She reached over to squeeze Lois’s arm. “How’s married life?”

Lois glowed. “It’s unbelievable! I’m so in love with the man I can’t see straight sometimes. It’s what I’ve always wanted, Debbie.”

Saloma sent Lois a sharp glance, and Debbie knew she needed to change the subject to something other than Lois’s life in the
Englisha
world. “I’m glad to hear that. And I’m glad you’re here to help with Ida’s wedding.”

“
Yah
, and I will dress Amish. That will seem almost like old times.” Lois lost her smile for a moment. “But it’s only for the day. Doug won’t come. He’s sore about, well, you know, about you not coming to our wedding.”

Debbie winced but bit her tongue. Lois chattered away. “He’ll get over it. He’s so understanding. He knows things are different. If I bring him a few pies home from the wedding, and some Amish date pudding, which he’s never had, that’ll put a smile back on his face.”

“Sounds like you have things figured out,” Debbie said. She would ask no more questions of Lois. All of them seemed doomed to veer into uncomfortable territory for Saloma.

Lois regarded her for a moment. “I meant to ask you, Debbie. What didn’t you like about Doug? I mean, you did date him. I asked Doug, and he mumbled something about you two not being meant for each other.”

Debbie’s head spun. Now they really were in rough territory.

“Lois!” Saloma gasped. “That’s indecent to ask.”

“Sorry,” Lois said. “I was just curious.”

Debbie found her voice. “Doug’s right, Lois. You fit him much better than I ever could have.”

Lois glowed. “Thanks, Debbie. That makes me feel
gut
. But why are you dating that Alvin Knepp? He’s not even close to being like Doug…”

“Lois!” Saloma’s voice cut her daughter’s comment short.

Lois shrugged. “Sorry. I meant no harm, Debbie.”

Debbie sighed. She might as well tell the truth. It would come out soon enough anyway. “Alvin ended our relationship Sunday night.”

Lois raised her eyebrows. “Can’t say I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want me to keep my eye out for a decent date—you know, out
there
?”

“Lois!” Saloma’s voice was even sharper. “That’s enough!”

Lois wasn’t through though. “You don’t have to get all snappy,
Mamm
. I like my life out there. I thought Debbie might want to rejoin the crowd.”

A deep pall settled over the room. Little baby Sarah kicked on the quilt, but no one looked.

“We have said enough on this.”
Mamm
’s voice hadn’t lost its edge. “Only
Da Hah
can know where this all will end. You’ve left the faith. And I fear for
Daett
’s health at times. This will surely drive him to an early grave. But Debbie is not joining you in your foolishness. Of that I’m certain.”

Lois looked like she was ready to say something, but she changed her mind. Saloma gathered little Sarah Mae in her arms and kissed her on the cheek several times. “
Yah,
little dear one. You came along to comfort our hearts, didn’t you?
Da Hah
is that way, giving so much more than we deserve. He sends peace again into our hearts.”

Ida and Verna glanced at each other and, without a word, headed upstairs. Lois shook her head and left for the kitchen. Debbie turned and followed Ida and Verna upstairs. They had plans to clean the whole house, so she assumed that’s where the two were headed. She
wondered why they hadn’t taken brooms and wash buckets with them. Maybe they planned to assess the situation first.

Debbie reached the top of the stairs to find the two near Ida’s bedroom door in animated conversation.

“Sorry,” she whispered as she began to back down the stairs.

Ida motioned Debbie over. “I was just trying to get Verna on my side before I told you, but I’m not having much success.”

“Tell me what?” Debbie stepped back up. Could this morning get any worse? What did Ida have in mind now?

Verna ignored Debbie and addressed Ida instead. “It’s only been two weeks. The man’s barely out of the hospital. And he’s depressed—extremely. We were over to see him last night and well…” Verna let the sentence hang.

Ida’s face was set. “All the more reason to ask him.” Ida ticked off imaginary numbers on her fingers. “It’ll be four weeks by the wedding day. He could use the morale boost. It will get him back into the life of the community. He’ll see that nothing has really changed at all.”

Verna didn’t appear convinced.

Debbie burst in with, “What are you two talking about?”

Verna ignored her again and got in what sounded like a parting shot. “See, Ida, I told you. Now stop interfering.” Verna turned toward her. “Ida wants Paul Wagler to fill in for Alvin.”

Debbie blanched. “Ida just doesn’t give up.”

Ida grabbed her arm. “
Nee
, don’t think the wrong thing, Debbie. This would be for both of you. It would do you
gut
to keep going with another man in a situation that doesn’t mean anything. And Paul needs help after what he’s been through. I know him well enough to know that. I did drive to the hospital with him, you know.”

“I don’t like this, Ida,” Verna said. “Let it be.”

“Joe can ask him,” Ida said. “He’s Paul’s
gut
friend, and you’ve already been to visit him.”

“What about my opinion?” Debbie got in edgewise. “Don’t I count?”

“Oh!
Yah
!” Ida turned toward her. “But surely, Debbie, you can see the sense in this. Besides, it’s my wedding. You would do it for me, wouldn’t you?”

Ida hit a nerve with that line of thought. Debbie would do just about anything for Ida, and her friend knew it. But still her heart sank at the idea. All she could muster was, “I don’t know about this.”

Ida seemed content to leave things there for now. “That’s okay. Just promise to think about it. Verna, we’ll let you know once Debbie decides.”

Verna shrugged. “Whatever. Now, we’d better get to work or this house is never going to get cleaned.”

Debbie followed the two downstairs, not knowing what to think. Life hurt enough already without any fresh wars that might erupt with Paul. And the last thing she wanted was for Paul to get encouragement for his romantic ideas about her. But neither Ida or Verna had seemed to think this would be a possibility.

Debbie stifled a groan and grimaced as she resigned herself to the cleaning work ahead of them.

Twenty-Nine

T
he next Sunday night after the hymn singing, Debbie stood in the line of girls on the sidewalk as they waited for their rides. She’d almost stayed home, but she knew that was no way to act. She had to reject her instinct to crawl into a hole and hide. After all, it would only hurt worse later. One was better off to face things now—even if they hurt.

Debbie peered toward the barn where some of the men were still hitching their horses to the buggies. She was sure one of them was Emery. He’d left for the barn moments ago. Alvin too had scooted out the door some time ago and would be appearing soon. Debbie could feel the other girls glancing at her. Apparently some of them still hadn’t heard that she was no longer dating Alvin. But that didn’t surprise her. As a couple, they weren’t a high priority for the community. Not with other things on people’s minds. Paul Wagler was still mending at home, and the wedding season would soon be in full swing.

Ida would be among the first to say her vows. Minister Kanagy had made his appearance again this afternoon. He’d insisted that
for once he wanted to take Ida to the hymn singing. Apparently the man wished to give Ida at least the appearance of a formal courtship. Ida had objected to any extra attention expended on her at the expense of Minister Kanagy’s children. But the man hadn’t budged. He said his sister Lily and her boyfriend, Mahlon, had their own wedding to plan next month. They could do so while they babysat the children. Thus Minister Kanagy had come to pick Ida up that afternoon.

Ida had spurted a few more protests but given in. The two were long gone now. They had been one of the first couples to leave after the parting song had ended. Debbie still couldn’t get used to the sight of Minister Kanagy and Ida together. But Ida seemed happy, and what did Debbie know? Look what a mess she’d made out of her dating relationship. Hopefully Alvin had already driven past with his buggy. There would be no reminder that had things gone right, she would be climbing into Alvin’s buggy so he could drive her home.

Debbie glanced toward the barn and caught sight of Emery’s buggy. She moved toward it but stopped short. Alvin’s buggy had pulled out of the line and was waiting by itself. Who was Alvin waiting for? He didn’t have any sisters. And Alvin didn’t like to wait. Debbie had never made him wait on any of their dates—few though they were.

Then Debbie froze in place at the sound of the washroom door slamming and the sight of Mildred running down the line of girls. A deathly kind of cold crept through Debbie as she wrapped her shawl tighter over her shoulders. Mildred was clearly creating a scene on purpose. She was flaunting her conquest. And it was working. Most of the girls in the line alternated quick glances between Alvin’s buggy, Mildred, and Debbie.

Debbie fled into the darkness toward Emery’s buggy. She caught a brief glimpse out of the corner of her eye of Mildred climbing into Alvin’s buggy. Debbie didn’t slow down when she arrived. She pulled
herself into Emery’s buggy and scrunched down on the seat. “Get me out of here!” she whispered.