EXcapades (7 page)

Reconnecting with him was a special thought, but I would not interfere in his life. I would treasure the times we shared, but that was then and those days were history.

Maybe I just wanted someone to fill that current void in my life. Right now, I felt empty inside. I should make myself feel complete, on my own. I needed to find my internal strength. I enjoyed sharing my life with a man, but this past year of marital separation had taught me that I don’t need anyone. Although I would appreciate a companion and it would be fun to find romance again, I would be fine on my own.

At last, that doctor’s office finally caught up with me. Did I have the strength to face the truth from my doctor? I was not sure what those test results were going to indicate, but I was pretty certain I did not want to hear the news.

The next morning came quickly. A few minutes before nine a.m., I stepped out of my car, jiggling my keys in my unsteady hand. I meandered toward the office building as the dread built inside me. My mind wandered all morning; I was completely absorbed in thought. I felt so engrossed with consuming anxiety that I barely knew what I was doing.

Walking toward the building, I tried to remember if I even brushed my teeth or my hair this morning.
Did I apply makeup? Does it even matter?
And I chose to wear a comfortable loose-fitting pink sundress and flat black sandals that I slipped on, not giving my appearance much thought.

The thumping in my chest intensified as I approached the building. I breathed in slowly and exhaled, but nothing worked to steady my nerves.
Breathe
. I kept walking forward, resisting the urge to turn, flee, and pretend none of this was happening. No, I needed to face my problems and not evade them.

I thought about how life could change in an instant, in just a flash.

And then it happened. In the distance, I heard a distinct male voice shout my name. “Lila.” That voice. My mind was in a frenzy. How did I know that voice?

My head whipped around, searching for the source. My eyes opened wide while I scanned the landscape. But the glare from the morning sunbeams impeded my vision. I could see—no one. Out of the bright light stepped a figure, his face only a shadow, obstructed by the intensity of the beaming rays.

This mystery man hidden in his own shadow had a towering, broad-shouldered frame—six feet tall or more. I looked up when he stepped next to me. And suddenly his face took shape.

I saw the most stunningly handsome man I had ever seen in my entire life. The face, now visible, beamed a smile that radiated ear to ear while he looked down at me.

I knew that face and those mysterious golden-brown eyes from my past. And then what played out next seemed to happen in slow motion. I felt like time stood still when I realized it was Blake again, after all these years.

In front of me stood my past, my future, and a smile that could restart the fire within me for an eternity. Momentarily, I became paralyzed by shock. And then a rush of adrenaline shot through me, flooding my body.

Neither of us said a word; we just stared into each other’s eyes in disbelief, until finally Blake broke the silence. “Lila, is that really you?”

I tried to swallow, but I couldn’t. There was a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach—and both twisted at once. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. And there I stood, wide-eyed with an enormous smile until finally I came to my senses enough to nod.

Blake reached over, took me in his strong arms, and gave me a gripping hug. He caught me off guard. His embrace had me swooning. And I felt as if my next actions were automatic. Without thinking, I hugged him in return, but my mind spun in a stunned haze.

After a few moments, he released his grip on me, and I started to stumble, fighting for my balance. In the next instant, he caught me, stabilized my body, and stood me up straight.
How embarrassing is that? I am a bumbling clown. I haven’t seen him in all these years and I fall over looking at him!

With his hands still on my shoulders, he looked down into my eyes. “You remember me, right? Blake, from college?” he asked, chuckling softly.

Finally, I gave him an ecstatic smile and found my words. “Of course I remember you.”
No one forgets their first love.
And no one forgets the first passionate touch . . . or especially, the man who takes your virginity. Your first love—that person will stay in your heart forever.

He shot back a mischievous grin, very similar to the one that made my heart flutter years ago. Could this gorgeous man really be Blake? Serendipity!

I nervously studied him. The years had been good to Blake. His chestnut brown hair was sun-streaked with slight hints of yellow. The highlights interlaced various strands that framed his face. I wanted to reach out and run my fingers through his bangs that brushed to the side in a slight wave.
Oh, such are the thoughts of a woman. A man simply would think his hair is brown.

His face appeared more sharply defined, without the baby fat, and his cheekbones were more pronounced than when I knew him. His face looked freshly shaven. He smelled like aftershave. But what stood out the most were his eyes; I remained captivated by those eyes that looked the same—all these years later. His eyes were an unusual shade of brown; they were more golden than dark with a unique brightness and intensity. The only difference from years ago was that the corners now wrinkled when he smiled.
We both have had many smiles over the years, it appears. Mine crinkle, too, Blake.

At one time, I thought they were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. And today I was still entranced by his striking appearance.

He startled me. “Do you still live in Raleigh?” he asked. His voice seemed deeper, sexier than I remembered, with no trace of boyishness in it.

Before I uttered a word, I continued for a brief instant, admiring his form. He was impeccably dressed. Blake seemed taller than I remembered. I didn’t recall his thick neck and shoulders being so broad, like an athletic superstar. Oh my, that powerful body he still had! And from the look of his physique, he spent a lot of time engaging in physical activity. Whatever he did, it worked for him.

Eventually, I came to my senses enough to answer him. I kept my gaze steady on his face. “My parents moved to Florida a couple years ago, but I never left town. I live a few miles from where we grew up,” I said.

“Then you live close to my parents because they still live in the house I grew up in.” He sighed as if longing for those days from his youth. “I moved away years ago when I joined the Marines.”

“Wow . . . Blake.”

“You seem surprised. Don’t you see me as a career military officer?” he asked.

My look must have intrigued him. I wondered if my mouth had fallen open. “I admire your dedication to our country, immensely. I’m just stunned to reconnect with you after so many years.” 

“I’m shocked to see you, too.”

“And there’s so much I don’t know about you. I guess I’m sad that we lost touch,” I said.

He was wearing the same mesmerized expression as the day I first met him. “Is it too forward to tell you I’m captivated and startled by your timeless beauty? You really haven’t changed much over the years.” Without turning his gaze away from me, he continued. “Honestly, in my mind, I can still see you wearing your gymnastics leotard.”

I giggled. “Well, that won’t happen again. You better use your imagination on that one.”

“Not that I’m surprised, but you still look athletic and carry yourself with the grace of a dancer, although now you have those beautiful curves,” he said.

I never was a thin woman, but loved being athletic and strong. I was sure my face had filled out, too. And thank goodness he was calling my extra weight curves.

Sure, curves . . . love it.

His gaze lingered as he continued. “But most of all, I’m still mesmerized by your striking teal eyes. They’re almost iridescent, like a peacock feather.”

His kind words thrilled me, but I couldn’t help wondering if he noticed how the corners of my eyes crinkled when I smiled, especially standing in the bright sunlight.

I tried not to be self-conscious, but I could tell he continued assessing me. I just hoped I received a passing grade. From the look of his upward curved lips, I believed the review was favorable. Or so I hoped.

More than anything, I felt overwhelmed by nervous energy, enough to make me bite down on my lower lip. It took a few seconds to register the pain, but then I thought that at least the pressure from my teeth would give my pouty lips a tinged red hue.

Since I skipped makeup this morning in my haste, maybe this action gave me a much-needed burst of color.
Leave it to a woman to think like this, to turn a case of nerves into a fashion and makeup opportunity.

My nervous lip-biting response did not go unnoticed. His eyes followed my tongue when I brushed it across my mouth as if maybe my lips enticed him, making him want to kiss me again. Or possibly I was confused by my own desires because I wanted to kiss his perfectly sculpted lips. They were irresistibly sexy. I had an urge to lean over and press my mouth to his. And here we were standing—at arm’s length away.

From the awkward pauses in our speech, I think we both, for an instant, felt like gawky teenagers again. After staring for what seemed like an excessive amount of time, Blake finally blurted out, “I just dropped my dad off for his medical appointment. My mother is picking him up as soon as she runs her errands, so my morning is free. It would be great if you’re available to get a cup of coffee. Would that—”

I nervously interrupted him. “How are your parents?” I asked with keen interest.

He looked down and clenched his jaws. “I’m sad to report that my father has early stages of Alzheimer’s, but we’re all making the best of a bad situation. My mother is an amazing caregiver for him. And I have been doing my best to help them.”

“I’m sorry they’re going through all of this. You know, I always admired your parents.”

He sighed. “I often feel guilty because I can’t help as much as I would like. And my younger brother, Brady, moved to Hollywood, seeking fame and fortune, and never looked back. I’m sure you remember him.”

I nodded. Of course, I remembered his brother. They looked like twins. And I
could tell all of this news about his parents was a difficult admission for him, and I appreciated that he shared it with me.
I could imagine that caring for ailing parents could create a strain.
His parents were good to me years ago, and I suddenly found myself wishing I could help them.

Before I could discuss the topic further, he asked about my family. I stammered as I reluctantly gave him sketchy details from my life.
Blake took this as his opportunity to ask, “Can we go somewhere more comfortable to get reacquainted? How about we go somewhere quiet and talk?” He looked at me with pleading eyes.

“Well . . .”

He persisted. “Let’s get coffee and catch up on our lives and share some old memories. There’s no harm in sharing a drink or two and getting reacquainted.” Although he posed it as a statement, we both knew it was a question.

I nodded. “No harm in that, right?” I acted cool as if I needed the idea to percolate through my mind. In reality, I found myself so excited that I wanted to jump for joy. I could hardly think of anything else.

“Remember that bakery and coffee shop we loved on Main Street? How about we meet there in an hour?” he asked.

“Yes, perfect.”

“Here’s my phone number if a conflict occurs,” he said, handing me a card and let his fingers linger on mine.

We exchanged good-byes. I rushed inside the office building and took a huge, gulping breath. Blake again after all these years!

One last glimpse of him; I need one more look-see.

And with that thought, I pressed my body flat against the interior wall and slowly turned my head and peeped out the window. A stolen moment, or so I hoped.

But to my surprise, he turned and looked, too.
He sees me. I know he sees me.

He winked in my direction and turned forward. I watched his figure get smaller and smaller until he disappeared behind a row of cars.
Was that a wink or was that a lopsided narrowing of his eyes from the sunlight?
Or am I overthinking things again?

I slumped forward, hiding behind a tall fern, and peeked out for another glimpse of him. He was gone.

And with a couple of minutes separating us, my thoughts became a little clearer. I quickly realized seeing him again reminded me of a way I used to feel. Unfamiliar thoughts raced through my mind. And a wave of emotions cascaded through me. I recognized for the first time in years what had been missing from my life: passion for a man, but most of all passion for life. I couldn’t help but wonder if the universe was sending me a message.
And I am listening!

It took a little while longer to regain my composure and then I raced from the building. I scurried toward my car with the intent of returning home, freshening up, and regaining my thought clarity before meeting Blake.

From the car, I called the doctor’s office and apologized profusely, fibbing that I couldn’t make my appointment today. I explained, rambling in too much detail, how I needed to review my overbooked schedule before I could set a new appointment.