EXcapades (23 page)

Day after day, Blake sat by my side, holding my hand while I clung to life. When Jenny could break free from her busy class schedule, she, too, comforted me. At the same time, she got acquainted with Blake. Other friends passed in and out. Of course, my mother called daily.

Jane, too, stopped by frequently with looks of sorrow and guilt because she did not realize my rapid decline. No one had—toward the end I had successfully sequestered myself from everyday life.

In my dreamy state, I could see Blake next to me, holding me, wrapping me in loving warmth. I knew he was there, not just in body, but in spirit. He stayed by my side, like a German shepherd—always protective. Day after day, my fight continued, and miraculously, I grew stronger. And the medication helped manage my pain.

In hindsight, I felt like my body and my mind were trying to alert me about my sickness for months. Warning bells had been ringing, but I kept ignoring all of the unusual signals my body sent. And I avoided my doctor for weeks, out of fear of hearing bad news. By the time the cancer was detected, it had already spread. As a result, the disease had become fully entrenched in my body.

Perhaps my own behavior contributed to this near shutdown. I did not eat right or get enough rest. I even stopped drinking liquids when I was thirsty. I felt that tired. And I almost lost this battle completely—prematurely.

My biggest mistake could have been avoided. I hid my struggles from the people closest to me because I didn’t want to burden anyone.
Actually, we all need help sometimes, I guess.
I am grateful that Blake intervened during my time of need.

My road to full strength would be a challenging one. The chemotherapy had taken a toll on my body and my mind. Thankfully, the amazing team of doctors and nurses helped get my downward spiral under control.

Here at the hospital, the doctors told me, I was very lucky. Much to their surprise, the chemotherapy reduced the cancer impinging on my major blood vessels. The smaller tumor that remained in my pancreas could be removed with surgery. The doctors did not really have the words from science to describe what was happening to me—they were baffled. They referred to it as an amazing phenomenon.

The morning after my surgery, Dr. Young poked his head into my room. “How is my miracle patient?” he asked.

I managed a limp smile. “I’m feeling better by the minute, which is good because I don’t want to be on the sidelines anymore. I want to be right back in the game,” I said in a soft, weak voice.

“I’m elated to hear you’re feeling better. I will be back to see you in an hour for a complete checkup. We can discuss how long I want you to stay here and work out a plan to get you back home.”

Just as the doctor stepped away, Blake walked into my room, carrying a red rose. “You’re a wondrous sight,” he said. I could hear the joy in his voice. He sat on the edge of the bed and hugged me until I pulled away. I could feel his positive, healing energy flowing into my body.
I was starting to feel like me again.

I motioned for him to sit back and share my pillows. After he propped up his feet on my bed, he turned and looked at me. I tried not to be concerned about my disheveled hair and tear-streaked cheeks. “These are tears of happiness,” I said, wiping my eyes and the wetness that streamed down my face.

For a few minutes, we engaged in light conversation before I changed the mood with my apology. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you about how dire my condition had become. Maybe I didn’t realize it myself until it was careening out of control. I didn’t want you to worry; plus, you had an important job to focus on.”

“You fooled me and everyone else. Don’t do something like that again,” he said.

“Thank you for getting me medical care when I needed it so desperately. I’m forever grateful.”

“I’m just sorry I couldn’t be there for you earlier.”

“I never wanted to bother you with my illness. You have enough going on with your father’s Alzheimer’s disease and your career.”

“Let that be my choice. I want to help as much as I can. Maybe I couldn’t get to you in time to help, but I could have called someone. And I would have, if you had told me.”

“I’ll remember that in the future.”

“You successfully tricked everyone close to you into believing that you were okay. We now know that you weren’t. Being strong is one thing, but sometimes we all need a friend,” he said.

“I made a mistake. I should have asked for help. I just didn’t want sadness or to carve out time for tearful good-byes. I had this urge to live life to the fullest. And I still do, until, well, I lose my battle.”

“I’m ready to take us on our next adventure.”

I smiled. “Wonderful. I hope my fight is over. Maybe I’m as good as new. Time will tell. But for now I’ll rejoice in this milestone victory. Did you hear? The surgery was a success,” I said in triumph. “They were able to remove the tumor without causing irreparable damage to my body and believe I should be strong again pretty soon. Hopefully, I’m cancer-free. The doctors think I’ll be healthy enough to go home in a week or two.”

And when it was time to go home, Blake was there to make my homecoming a joyous event. I looked up at him in the bright sunlight when he carried me tenderly in his arms into the house, like he was carrying his new bride across the threshold. The yellow rays from the light gave him a sun-kissed glow—almost as if he had on a halo—and made him look like an angel.

He kissed my cheek. At the same time, we could hear the sound of the birds chirping in unison as if welcoming my arrival. Spring was here. And like the flowers growing in my garden, I felt my body coming back to life. I didn’t know if I ever would be quite the same person I was before, but I felt grateful to have a second chance. I would not waste a moment of this gift dwelling on the negative. Indeed, I had been skeptical of the power of positive energy, but now I was a believer.

He whispered softly,
“You have my heart, my whole heart.”

“What, no more, Mr. Iceman?” I giggled.

“No, Frosty has melted again, thank you.”

“Thank you for helping me,” I said.

“It was not me; it was you. And we need to give modern medicine credit, as well,” he said.

I sighed. “I feel like I was dragged to the edge and looked down into the abyss but was lucky enough to escape the fall. Blake, you are the one who pulled me back to safety.” My voice cracked. “I’m so lucky to get a second chance to be with you. I’m grateful for you, for cheering me on and saying you believed in me, even when I stopped believing in myself.”

“I thought I lost you this time,” he whispered. “You mean everything to me.” We shared grins that promised a future of happiness together.

“We found each other again.”

A smile lit his face. “I’ll always find a way back to you.”

Without another word, we exchanged a look that said,
love you . . . always
. He hugged me tenderly and gently helped me to the leather couch. I had a sudden burst of energy. “Come here, handsome,” I said in a silken voice and winked. Blake smiled at me with his entire face.

“But first, I have something to share with you,” I said. I took the pink list from my pocket and read out loud, “Number three on my list, Tropical Escape.” He was bringing my fantasies to life, whether he realized it or not.