Authors: Debra Kay
“I’m always here for you,” Jane said.
Glancing out the window, she sighed, “Chase is beautiful to look at, and I bet he would be fun to touch.”
“Oh no, I would never do that,” I gushed.
“What’s stopping you, girlfriend? You’re single now. And even though that no-good ex-husband of yours probably never told you, you’re very pretty, too. If nothing else, flirt with Chase a little. Do it for me and all the married women out there who are stuck in a sexual rut. Speaking of all of that, I brought you a gift to celebrate your divorce.” She rummaged through her handbag and handed me a pink box tied with a large white ribbon.
I pulled the ribbon, opened the box, and blinked, trying to focus on the contents in stunned silence. “Is that what I think it is?”
“I bought you something that every newly divorced woman needs. Okay, e
very
woman needs.” She giggled.
I lowered my voice. “You bought me a vibrator?” I asked, looking at her in disbelief. “I never had one before.”
Jane’s mouth dropped open, and her eyes grew wide. “Are you serious? Well, it’s about time you did.”
I lifted the pink vibrator, squeezed the thick rubber shaft, and tossed it on the counter. “I could never do that.” And I began to blush from the mere idea.
She could not hold back her look of surprise. “What, touch yourself? You need to let loose a little bit and experience life. I’m starting to think you forgot how. Touching Chase might be a good first step. If nothing else, touch him with your mind,” she said.
I looked at her curiously. “What do you mean?”
She looked at me as if she was explaining this to a virgin. “Fantasy . . . let your imagination have an adventure,” she said.
“Jane, you’re such an amazing friend, and you know what? You just gave me the answer I needed.”
She looked puzzled. “I don’t recall you asking the question. But yes, you need to start living again,” Jane said. She had a warm smile that met mine knowingly. “You’re aware of what you need to do, right?”
I nodded. “Have fun with a hot guy. But you know I’m joking. I wouldn’t do that.”
“Enough joking about it—do it. Live it.” Jane grinned. She loved instigating wicked fun.
In the next instant, she blurted out something about picking up her boys from tennis practice. She grabbed her purse from the table and walked to the door. Thinking about that vibrator, I was still giggling when I followed her.
Jane stepped outside and turned back to me. “You’re stronger than you think you are,” she said.
At that precise moment, it occurred to me: life is not a destination, but a journey to be enjoyed.
“Thank you. You’re a dear friend,” I said.
She reached over and hugged me. “Oh, say good-bye to Chase for me.” We both giggled again like schoolgirls.
I went back inside, paused while looking at the pink box open on the table, and wondered if I should do what my instincts were shouting for me to do.
Do it!
And without giving it a second thought, I tucked Jane’s gift back into the box like I didn’t want anyone to know my secret, and then I carried the box to my bedroom and closed the door.
All those jokes I had with Jane. My mother would be horrified. She certainly would tell me that a proper lady would never repeat them aloud. I almost could hear the telephone ringing.
Jane was a unique friend, but many people probably would find me mentally unstable from those comments, not funny. And what would my friends think if they knew what I was about to do? They probably would gasp in horror.
My dirty secret.
I washed the vibrator and tried to figure out how to work it. Let me see—slow speed, medium speed, and high or probably mind-shattering speed.
I yanked the long silk curtains shut except for a tiny crack that let in a slice of sunlight and enough space to watch
him
. I pulled the cool leather chaise lounge chair up to the window as close as I could get it. I sat down with my knees tucked under me. Through the tiny slit in the curtains, I had a clear view of Chase, who was netting the pool.
I let out a sigh while I admired his hard, tanned-to-perfection body that was ripped with muscles. I had become captivated by his every movement as he pulled the long metal pole back and forth.
And oh, I was thinking about moving with him. I shook my head because I couldn’t believe I was having these erotic thoughts.
A shiver went down my spine, and a rush of warmth spread between my legs. I had never pleasured myself before, but today I wanted to touch myself
there
. I was divorced and alone now; however, I was still a woman with needs and desires.
Once my lewd fantasy began, I spread my legs and slid one hand down my body into my bathing suit bottom. Instantly, I could feel my body growing warm with excitement.
A glint of daylight poured through the tiny gap in the curtains. Continuing to peer out through the small opening, I thrust one finger inside my warm folds, fantasizing about having Chase’s hard manliness inside me.
With my free hand, I untied the string on my bikini so I could touch myself easily. I kept the finger inside me. With my other hand, I rubbed small circles on my most sensitive area. I caressed myself slowly at first but liked it so much that I quickly built up speed.
My heart began to pound. I watched Chase, thinking about what it would be like to have him on top of me—moving as one, rubbing his toned body, and feeling his warm kisses. My breathing became rapid as I touched myself with increased intensity. Should I, could I, take it a step further? Why not?
I looked at the pink vibrator hesitantly, and then gave myself the mental go-ahead. I held it nervously. I examined it for an instant. I squeezed the thick rubber shaft and wondered if it would be an appropriate substitute for the real thing.
And then I pushed the vibrator inside myself slowly, as if one of us might break. Once fully inserted, I flipped it on . . .
HIGH, WOW! Meant to put it on slow, but
oooooohhhhhhhhhh that feels amazing
.
In my delirium of excitement, I lost all of my common sense. I wanted to get a better view of the tantalizing male in my backyard, so I lifted my feet and pushed them against the window. And then I spread my feet in an attempt to pull the curtains farther apart.
Before I knew what had happened, I yanked too hard on the silk material and ripped the entire curtain rod and fabric to the floor. Fully exposed! My nearly naked body immersed in sunlight. There I lay, spread eagle on the chair, looking down at Chase. Much to my surprise, he was staring up at me! He parted his lips, and his white teeth glistened in the sunlight. He winked and beamed a knowing smile. Or was it?
Did he know that this entire time I had been watching him? Could he hear the hum of my vibrator? Was he really able to see me touching myself now? Probably not since I’m on the second floor, but maybe? My cheeks turned as red as the surface of Mars. Somewhere within, I found bravery and leaned closer toward the window, focusing my eyes on his firm body.
Don’t stop now.
Much to my surprise, I could see the outline of his hard erection straining against his shorts. He reached his hands into his shorts and started stroking his rock-hard pride and joy.
I stooped closer to the window, wanting him to lift it out of his shorts, but he didn’t.
Let me see it.
Show
me
.
Pleeeease.
He teased me with his touch and his grin.
And he did not flinch from his smoldering gaze, nor did he take his hands from his shorts, as he stared up at me with his chocolate brown eyes from across the yard. At this point, I could
feel
his undaunted stare. His erection seemed to have a life of its own, and he had reason to be proud. I smiled broadly. No wonder he had that cockiness; with a cock like that he had every right.
I just stared at his smug smile, like he had a secret on the tip of his tongue about to bust out of his mouth. His good looks combined with the confidence of someone not yet jaded by life’s setbacks, a deadly combination. He still had that youthful self-assurance. And really, how much stress could this gorgeous young man face each day?
I thought about all of his attributes, while I stared at him through my window, spellbound. To my amazement, he continued to fasten his seductive stare on me, at the same time stroking his manliness. His muscles tightened, and his breathing rate accelerated.
I became entranced as I watched him increase his rhythm and intensity. He never for a second looked away. Without hesitation, I pressed my face closer to the window. I could feel my hot breath on the glass—breathing faster and faster—steaming a small circle.
For a few moments, our eyes locked in a concentrated stare. Excitement twinkled in his gaze. And mine, too. My arousal built while I continued to manipulate the vibrator, never taking my enthusiastic eyes off of him. He continued to stare wide-eyed as his body stiffened, his gaze never leaving mine.
With my legs spread, I guided the vibrator deep inside me. In and out it surged. The vibrations pulsated through my body. I imagined his hot breath against my neck. My body trembled. Every nerve ending ignited, and then a sudden surge of warmth exploded, sending a shock wave of contractions across my body. I stunned myself with a shallow moan as my muscles tightened and brought with it a surge of bliss.
Still never breaking eye contact, I watched his entire body tense as he rubbed his cock harder and faster. I saw him shudder as if volts of energy shot through him. And then he relaxed. He smiled ear to ear as he slowly lifted his hand out of his shorts.
I leaned my head back on the chair and sighed. I couldn’t remember the last time I had an orgasm. “That was exciting.” I laughed out loud, but I needed the actual touch of a man. I didn’t want to become a voyeur; instead, I needed romantic evenings and someone to share some exciting adventures.
What I wanted most of all was a life filled with laughter. I did not like the negative and cynical person I had become this past year. I needed to find more joy in my life. The corners of my lips lifted. I took a deep breath. I almost could feel the cheerful energy fill my lungs.
It was time to make my own choices. My life’s story was unfolding in front of me. The start of a new chapter, but what direction would it take? I always loved the stories with happy endings. Would I be so lucky? I continued to smile, but I wasn’t sure what provoked me.
Did I hear the faint cry of my hidden diva self, screaming to be released?
I stripped out of my bikini and dressed while thinking Chase was beautiful, although much too young for me. I needed an experienced man who had lived a full life. Someone I could relate to on a more mature level, not just a hot body. Maybe I was not giving his maturity or intellect enough credit, but who was I trying to kid here . . . myself? I was old enough to be his mother.
And was wearing this bikini and then masturbating in front of my visitor cutting my last thread of self-respect? Was I a lost balloon now flying rogue—cut from the cluster only to disappear into oblivion? Had I lost it all completely?
I inspected my reflection one more time, turning my face from side to side . . .
Ready or not, here I come.
I laughed and then proceeded downstairs
.
A few minutes later, I heard Chase’s footsteps behind me. “Would you like me to do anything else?” he asked, stepping next to me.
I turned abruptly. “Oh, you startled me.”
I looked up into those dark, mischievous eyes, and they flashed back at me. “Yes, I guess I’m full of surprises,” he said and smiled seductively. He glistened with sweat and smelled of sun-warmed skin. He looked at me with those intense brown eyes. “Am I finished with my services here today, ma’am, or is there anything else you would like from me?”
The naughty voice inside my head shouted—yes—kiss him!
But in reality, I could barely look up to meet his stare. Suddenly I felt my age and embarrassment that he witnessed my voyeurism.
I avoided his eyes, and with my voice just a whisper, all I could manage to say was the word, “no.” And thank goodness I had come to my senses and put on my normal clothes.
He stood next to me, and my mind screamed,
let’s keep this our dirty secret.
Much to my surprise, I saw Chase just about devour me with his eyes.
He stepped closer. “Can I help you with something else? Anything. You just tell me what you want,” he said. There was no trace of reluctance in his voice or on his face.
Eyeing him questioningly, I met his gaze, which was insistent. Finally, I gave him a demure smile. “Thank you for everything today,” I said.
He opened the door to leave but paused. “When can I come back?” he asked.
I stood at the door, trying to mask my discomfort. “Ummm, let me think about that one.”
“It was a pleasure to see you, Ms. Lila.” He winked and let himself out the front door. I sighed in relief when I watched him walk toward his truck.
My eyes followed his every move. “Good-bye and thank you, Chase. You made my day,” I said, wondering if it was out of earshot. Then, without another word, he waved and opened the door to his truck.
My new house will definitely need a pool.