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Do you realise the pressure I am under?

I am expected to manage and inspire a department of twelve creative teams.

I am required to represent the agency’s creative product to our clients – philistines the lot.

On top of that I have somehow to find the time to deliver creative
coups de grâces
of my own.

If occasionally I forget some little thing a client says in a meeting, well, I am only human.

Si

	Simon Horne – 1/4/00, 9:11am
to:	Susi Judge-Davis
cc:
re:	stress

Migraine, migraine!

	Susi Judge-Davis – 1/4/00, 9:12am
to:	Simon Horne
cc:
re:	stress

Coffee and Migraleve on the way, darling . . . Sx

	Harriet Greenbaum – 1/4/00, 9:16am
to:	Simon Horne
cc:
re:	Mako

I’m sorry to split hairs, but I wouldn’t have defined the client saying he not only hates Little and Large, but thinks them totally outdated for a technology-led brand as a “little thing.” All this, though, is academic. I suggest we now co-operate on finding a new campaign. Friday feels horribly close.

	Brett Topowlski – 1/4/00, 9:35am
to:	Liam O’Keefe
cc:
re:	no-go zone

If you and Space Cadet First-Class Pinki are planning to show Horne any ideas today, don’t. He’s in a right fucking mood. Vin and me took him our Reeves and Mortimer scripts for Freedom. He pissed all over them – said it was hardly the first time he’d seen them in an ad campaign. Vin pointed out that this was
the first time
anyone had used them in a mail-order shopping ad, but it didn’t wash. (Vin didn’t mention that the only reason we wrote scripts for them was so he could boast to his mates back in Liverpool that he’d spent 2 days shooting with Britain’s Dandiest Comedians.)

Anyway, who the fuck does he think he is, going on about originality? Poxy Little and fucking Large? Tosser. You know Barry Clement used to be his art director? My mate Nick is in his group at Abbott Mead now and apparently Clement claims Horne didn’t have one original thought in the four years they were together. Clement used to come up with all the ideas and all Horne ever said was “yes, love, but is it a gold?” They haven’t spoken since they split up and Clement nearly lamped him at D&AD last year.

Anyway, what happened to you after BZ last night? You were all over that temp like chicken pox. Vin’s well pissed with you. Says he saw her first.

	Susi Judge-Davis – 1/4/00, 9:39am
to:	Creative Department
cc:
re:	Simon’s diary

Si’s having a terribly stressful morning, so if you have work you need to see him with, could you keep it till later, please. If it’s frightfully urgent, give it to me and I’ll try to get it in front of him. Thx . . . Susi.

	Melinda Sheridan – 1/4/00, 9:39am
to:	Harriet Greenbaum James Gregory
cc:
re:	bat suits

A dickie bird tells me that we are no longer to produce three forty-second commercials for Mako featuring Messrs Little and Large.

Why are us mugs in the TV production department always the last to hear information of crucial relevance to us?

It represents no loss to me – personally I find L&L about as amusing as a trip to my gynecologist. However, Simon assured me that the scripts were as good as signed off by the client and you must be aware that we have contracts with these alleged gentlemen of mirth. They will expect money. They have also been to four wardrobe sessions, so I now have a pair of made-to-measure bat suits with pink Lycra capes in my possession, as well as an invoice for £16,000.

It never rains, darlings . . .

	Nigel Godley – 1/4/00, 9:39am
to:	Carla Browne
cc:
re:	help mate

Top o’ the morning! It was so nice to be able to help you with your document last night. Remember that creating presentable charts in PowerPoint is easy-peasy so long as you remember Nige’s Handy
Hints! Any time I can be of service, look me up in my little cubby in accounts – Nige.

P.S. want first option on the waffle iron?

	Carla Browne – 1/4/00, 9:52am
to:	Zoë Clarke
cc:
re:	fuck, fuck, bloody fuck!!!!!

Fucking hell!!!! I’ve done the stupidest thing!!!!!!! I only got that dick Nigel who does the time sheets to help me with the Coke document last night. I’m a fucking idiot, I know – but it was nearly midnight and I just wanted to go home!!!! Now I can’t get rid of him!!!!!!!! Think he fancies me!!!!!! What am I gonna do?!!!!!! He wears grey slip-ons and he’s into the Shopping Channel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cxxx

	James Gregory – 1/4/00, 9:54am
to:	Harriet Greenbaum
cc:
re:	it wasn’t me!