e (76 page)

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Authors: Matt Beaumont

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It seems that I have only to leave for five minutes before things fall apart. Susi was in fine fettle on Friday so I cannot begin to imagine the anarchy that has driven the poor girl to a suicide attempt.

I shudder to think what further damage I will find when I walk back in.

As for presuming to advise me on how to handle Susi, I know her better than anyone and I will not be lectured by the person who could well have driven her to such drastic action.

We shall say no more at present, but rest assured I will conduct a full inquiry.

As for these girls, Kitty and Jane, I cannot believe you are
bothering me with them. I vaguely remember their work as dull and uninspired. I certainly made no promises to them.

Do not raise their hopes by looking at their book. The sooner they realise that their futures do not lie in advertising, the better.

I will not prejudge your handling of
my
department from this distance.

Suffice it to say that you had better tread with maximum caution in the day and a half you have left “in charge.”

[email protected] 1/13/00, 1:35pm
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
Kitty and Jane

Hi Letty,

You’re at lunch so hopefully you’ll read this as soon as you get back. Simon mentioned he’d seen Kitty Bates’s and Jane Backer’s book last week and he’s quite keen on them. He asked me to take a look and tell him what I think. Would you mind sending it over this afternoon? Time is of the essence as I think he wants to move quickly to get some new faces in.

Thanks and best wishes . . . 

David Crutton – 1/13/00, 2:19pm
to:
Zoë Clarke
cc:
 
re:
MSTV

My express instructions were for you to sit in my office and watch the debut of our superb magazine show. I imagine then that you wouldn’t have dared miss it, even though your arse wasn’t glued to my sofa. So for your entertainment I have prepared a list of questions about the programme.

Zoë Clarke – 1/13/00, 2:22pm
to:
Lorraine Pallister
cc:
 
re:
shit!!!!!!!!!

David wants me to answer questions about MSTV!!!!!! Help!!!

Lorraine Pallister – 1/13/00, 2:25pm
to:
Zoë Clarke
cc:
 
re:
shit!!!!!!!!!

Why don’t you go and see the walking anorak, Godley? Whoever he is he seems to know bloody everything about this place.

Letitia Hegg / [email protected] 1/13/00 – 2:36pm
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
Kitty and Jane

Pinki darling, how perfectly delightful to receive an e from you. You are so touchingly redolent of the footloose sixties that I don’t associate you with the digital revolution!

I must say that I am surprised. When dear Simon looked at Kitty and Jane’s work he hardly spoke like a man who simply had to have them. Still, I am glad of his change of heart (especially when my own 15% is at stake!).

Of course I will have their book despatched to you posthaste. It lies at TBWA as I write and I will have them send it direct. You can expect it before the end of the day. Inform Si that if he does wish to make them an offer they can’t refuse he will have to put his skates on. TBWA are mustard keen and the girls are poised to sign on the dotted.

Always glad to be of service,

Letty

Katie Philpott – 1/13/00, 2:45pm
to:
David Crutton
cc:
 
re:
MSTV

Wow, that was so inspiring!!!! An agency with its own TV show!! And it was brilliant – informative, professional and fun. Well done – Katie P

[email protected] 1/13/00, 2:53pm
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
you should have seen it

This might cheer you up, boys. We had MSTV today. How bad was it? Put it this way, if any clients see it, they’ll never trust us again with their TV budgets. The best bit was Horne singing the old Sugar Puffs jingle (“There are two men in my life . . .”). Buy the fucking album.

[email protected] 1/13/00, 3:07pm
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
LOVE

I have just had David tell me that he doesn’t care what the weather is like over there, he wants you to come home with a commercial. At this stage he’s not bothered about quality, he just wants to see exposed film. What are the probabilities so that I can get him off your case?

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