e (75 page)

Sorry to do this – Brett and Vince

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 12:44pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Coke

Wicked bastards! You’ve probably lumbered me with a shit-load of extra work but I’ll let you off since you’re moments away from the job
centre. There’s going to be some spectacular displays of arse-covering now – I’ll just sit back and enjoy. Pinki is doing a Coke review with Harriet so it’ll be a short while before she reads your e.

You’ll like this. An ambulance has just hauled Susi’s arse off to hospital. Pinki found her locked in Horne’s office and suspected an OD – empty pill bottle on her desk. She got security to smash down the door (the shiny new replacement for the one that was axed last week) and found her slumped over Horne’s desk. After they’d stretchered her off, Lol was going through her bag to look for her parents’ number. She found the contents of the bottle of tabs carefully wrapped in tissue. Should have known the skinny prima donna wouldn’t have the balls to go through with it. Pinki called the hospital but it was too late – they’d already pumped her stomach (contents: half a crisp bread, two segments of mandarin orange, a small cup of Earl Grey, a chewed finger nail?). Lol says it’s done her a favour, saving her the trouble of doing the post-lunch fingers down the throat. Lol’s sick like that – that’s why I love her.

Did I just type the L word?

I’ll let you know what occurs on The Great Coke Robbery.

	Lorraine Pallister – 1/13/00, 12:54pm
to:	Zoë Clarke
cc:
re:	lunch

Sure you can’t manage a quick one? I have to give you a full rundown on Judge-Dredd’s totally useless attempt to take her own life. She can’t do anything right.

	Zoë Clarke – 1/13/00, 1:06pm
to:	Lorraine Pallister
cc:
re:	lunch

He’ll kill me if I sneak off now, but gotta hear this!!!!!!!!!! See you in two mins.

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 1:03pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Coke

Brett and Vince, I’m sorry about the trouble you’re in. However daft you’ve been, I don’t think you deserve to be fired, Vince. I’ve thought about your e-mail and whatever motivated you to write it, this is a bloody serious allegation. I’ll have to check it out and then work out how to play it. I don’t want you to say anything to anybody about this. I don’t think anyone should know until we have the facts. Please trust me to do the right thing. I’ll keep you informed . . . 

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 1:10pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Susi

Bad news I’m afraid. Susi was rushed to hospital this morning following a suspected overdose. It turned out that she hadn’t taken anything but obviously she is very upset about something. I’ve had a few difficulties with her this week but I didn’t see this coming. I expect she’ll be discharged later today – I’m sure a call from you would be appreciated. I imagine that this sounds terrible when you’re miles away and can’t do anything to help, but please don’t worry. Susi has had troubles before and always comes through smiling. I’m sure this time will be no different.

By the way, do you remember seeing a book from Kitty Bates and Jane Backer from Watford College? It’s not a big deal but they’ve been pestering me on the phone saying that you wanted to see it again. Do you want me to have a look for you or shall I leave it for your return?

Let me know. And I hope you don’t mind but I’ve sent Susi some flowers from the department . . . 

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 1:15pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	support

Thanks for your e-mail. And thanks for the offer of stunt ideas. I mentioned this to David, but he wants to keep this pitch as minimal as possible. He’s met Kelly Derringer at Coke a couple of times and thinks she’s the sort of slightly puritanical lowan who’d be deterred by excessive razzmatazz.

Lunch with Barry was excellent. He was far from depressed. In fact he couldn’t stop bubbling about some new ads he’s just shot for Guinness and Volvo. They sound fabulous. He told me to ask you to give his regards to Dick Chick – someone you both worked with I guess.

We’re slowly recovering from the horror of the
Sun
’s front page this morning. I hope you can help put it behind us by returning with a fantastic film. Good luck!

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 1:31pm (5:31pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Susi