Dream Chaser (42 page)

Suzanna scanned the room and spotted Penny, looking unhappy, as she stood near the table holding the wedding gifts.
“I think
so
. Could you please tell the girls I’l
l take them home whenever they’
re ready?”

“Consider it done. Go rescue your cowboy before Penny scratches his eyes out. She doesn’t look all that
pleased that he’s here
.”

“Rancher, Margaret,” Suzanna corrected her, as she
head
ed toward her daughter
, determined to make sure Penny was being civil
.

Her voice firm, she said,
“Penny,
I’d like a word with you.
”

Her face unaccountably flushed, Penny pushed her hair over her shoulder with one hand as she
turned
in
Suzanna
’s direction
.

Something must be wrong. Now what?
“Is there something I can help you with?”

“No, Mother, I’m fine.
” She paused then added,
“Jonathan made a sugg
estion I thought was a bit much.” Her breath seemed to catch for a moment. “A
bout my job situation
.” She slid her teeth over her bottom lip. “But
I’m going to try it.”
She
plucked a champagne flute off the
tray
a waiter
was passing around.

Penny took a quick sip then looked at Suzanna. “And, if the two of you decide,
if y
ou decide to
…
to get married
…” Penny glanced
away
for a moment, her eyes filling. Then she said almost under her breath,
“I won’t object.”

“
Oh.”
Who would have predicted
that
?
Stunned, Suzanna hugged her daughter
, not sure what to say
.

She had to reassure Penny, even as her heart started to gallop in her chest.
“Jonathan and I—we haven’t made any
such
decisions.
”
Well, actually it’s me. I haven’t decided.
Or maybe I have, but he hasn’t.
“
But if we do,
you and Kevin will
be
the first to know.” She hugged
Penny
again
before her daughter went off to talk with her friends
.

After the bridesmaids vacated the house
the next day
, Suzanna
continued
picking up and putting away. Jonathan joined her for dinner
after checking out of the B&B
.

“I think it’s time you sat down to rest.” He lounged on the couch in the family room.

“Could you just pick up your feet for a moment?” was her reply, as she moved the vacuum around the carpet.
“One last swing and I should have everything the way I want it.”
When she had done so, she returned and sat down next to him,
eager
to take a breather.
“So, when do you have to leave
for the university
?”

“Trying to get rid me, are you?” He
looked at her with a grin before checking
his watch.

“Not at all, but I know you came to the wedding right from
the airport
, and you said earlier that you had people to
see
before heading home
, debriefing with Jamie and that big meeting with the Chancellor.”

“You’re right. Not a lot of time.” His mouth quirked up a bit higher on one side than the other. “But I don’t really want to leave, Suzanna.”

The rumble of his voice, regret obvious, set her insides to quivering.

“And then,” she said, “you’re staying at Jamie’s tonight if it’s really late when you’re done nailing down all those business issues?”
No chance
for us
to sleep
together
tonight?

“I’m afraid so.”
He drew her closer and draped one arm around her shoulder. “You have a beautiful home. It fits you. I neve
r had a chance to tell you that
when I was here
before.
You’ve made some changes—that study, for example. I can’t imagine a high-powered
attorney
being comfortable in that room.”

She chuckled. “When I got rid of his desk, I saw the possibilities and decided to go with my preferences. Penny
has his desk
. She likes it.”

“I’ll bet she does.” He looked around.
“George and Lloyd were telling me about him
, what a talented attorney he was
.”

She
let
her head
fall back and
rest against his arm.

He leaned over and kissed her.
“It’s nice seeing you
so relaxed
.
”

Anticipating the question in his eyes, she said,
“I
’m thinking I might rent this place out through the summer. That way, I can come see you without having to ask Penny to check on it.
”

He stood. “
Much as I’d like to stay here,
I think it’s time I
went to Jamie’s
. You have lots of things to do, and I don’t want to be underfoot.” He kissed the top of her head, and then the tip of her nose, and worked his way downward to her lips
.

“
You’ll call me before you have to fly home—so we can have dinner and something else—when we each have more time?
”
She gave him a sly grin.

He chuckled. “You bet.”

Sh
e walked him to the front door and watched him climb into the cab. The last time he did that, she’d been afraid she would never see him again.

Suzanna
wandered through the house, aware
that she missed Jonathan already
. Now stripped of the wedding finery, sounds, and scents of the bridesmaids, her house
seemed cavernous
.
Kevin’s
room still looked like he might pop in any moment from high school soccer practice.
Her daughter’s room still housed the stuffed animals that had been her sleepin
g companions as a child,
though she was now a young woman in her own apartment. Suzanna did not dwell on who
Penny
might be sleeping with these days. She smiled ruefully, pondering
whether her daughter
wondered
how often
she had done so with Jonathan.

When she walked into the master bedroom, she realized it
was
the least changed room in the house, a place she had shared with Brad for more than a quarter-century. Even now, almost
two
years after his death,
a tell-tale
hint of his aftershave
seemed to hover near
the highboy.
Or was it her imagination?

“No more,” she said
aloud
, startling herself with her words.

How could she say ‘yes’ to Jonathan when she feared that her old habits of doing things, her old
ways of thinking, might return…
in spite of enjoying the comfort of being loved by a man who knew his own mind, and who said he thought she knew hers and had encouraged her in that regard?

Jonathan
had
said he loved her
. The
new Suzanna
had convinced him to let her use the old cabin. Would the old Suzanna have been so insistent? She lay down for a moment on her bed, struggling with the thoughts that circled like vultures in her mind, each fighting for supremacy.

She
made up the bed in the guest room,
covered again
with her grandmother’s old quilt
.
She left a message for the realtor to call her back,
and went out to buy some paint.
Late that
evening, her computer pinged.

My dearest Suzanna: I hope you are thinking seriously about coming back to the ranch soon. Toward that end, I’ve attached two pictures. Think of them as encouragement.

I’m building a new cabin, somewhat larger, and positioned so that you can stand at the front window and look out on the pond where my favorite buck visits. I thought it only fitting you could see that. And, because you so liked the view of the mountains to the west, I’ve removed some of the trees on that side. From at least one bedroom (there will be two!) and the kitchen, you can admire the view.

If you don’t want to stay at the main house, you can take over the cottage. It will be yours alone, to decorate as you see fit. In fact, why don’t you think about bringing some of your favorite pieces of furniture with you? I can’t promise I won’t visit you often—days and nights—but I await your preference on that score. And, if you decide you like living at the main house with me, we can use the cottage as a guest house, for when your children and your friends visit.

The other picture is of me and a new friend who’s been taking up a great deal of Nate’s time and making sure Rex gets plenty of exercise and playtime. We’re calling him ‘Sam two.’ He’s quite smart and eager to please.

All my love, Jonathan

PS I’ll check in with you before I leave for the ranch. Please think about coming back with me. If you decide you want to drive, we could do that together. I want to sit next to you on the porch swing in the evenings. Curly told Nate I ride the men way too hard, a sure sign of my frustration that you aren’t with me.

She
opened the attachments
, one showing a partially completed building, and the other of
Jonathan
holding a small Samoyed puppy smiling at the camera.

Suzanna called
Jonathan’s cell, but he didn’t pick up.
Maybe he and Jamie are in a late meeting
.

She turned back to the computer.

Oh, Jonathan, what a darling puppy! Yes, I’d love to help train that little guy. And the cottage will be just perfect for guests. My old bedroom set would fit perfectly! Please tell Nate I’d love to help him with the decorating, or take it over if he doesn’t want to bother.

When you are done with your meetings, let’s talk more about driving back—together. My Jeep looks out of place here.

Love, Suzanna

The next afternoon,
Suzanna
walked through the house
, opening windows to dispel the smell of new paint. She worked
through most of the morning
, packing boxes and making a list of the furniture she wanted to keep.

During a break,
she sipped her tea
and gazed out at the back garden.
I’m going to miss this old place,
she mused.

How long had she lived here? As long as Kevin had been alive. How long had she been Brad’s wi
fe? More than a quarter-century. Too long
to think herself unworthy to act independently.
Too long to harbor
regret tha
t she never finished her degree…
a goal that had meant so much to her
parents
, a goal she had tossed aside in the mistaken be
lief that she would do it later. Except
later never came.

She had loved being a mother, and in the beginning being a wife was something she cherished, too. But
being
Brad
’s wife had hurt too much. She’d spent too many years being
someone she really wasn’t and
had
never wanted to be
.

She stood up and put her tea cup i
nto the dishwasher and sighed.
It’s time I stop thinking that way.
On the cruise, she realized, she took her first step when she
removed
her wedding ring, to the applause of
mysterious Maude
.
If you’
re alive, Maude, tha
nk you. And if you aren’t, I’
ll always think of you as my guardian angel.

She thought back to the other baby-steps she had taken to freedom—selling Brad’s car
,
wearing her hair the way she wanted it, getting dear sweet Sam, buying the Wrangler precisely because its paint job
was something no one would have expected her to choose, and
would have been such a scandal to Brad
. It
was
, still,
to
Penny
. And her final leap to freedom when she
’d
set off traveling on her own
,
spurred by
her desire
to
see Yellowstone Park
.