Dream Chaser (40 page)

Suzanna looked at her, one eyebrow raised, as Margaret smiled and opened the back door for Sam.

Suzanna dialed Penny’s work number, knowing she was sure to answer that phone and not resort to a cryptic text message that she didn’t have time right now. The thought that she was finally doing what she’d been putting off—
for no good reason
—gave her a little thrill. She had a backbone again. No, that wasn’t right. It had always been there. She’d just not been using it.

“This is Penny Wallace. How can I help you?”

“It’s me, hon. Your mother.”
Why did I say that? She knows who I am.
Suzanna’s heart thudded against her ribs.

“I’m at work, Mother. I’ll have to call you back.”

Oh no, you don’t, not this time.
“Are you in a meeting?”

“Not at the moment.”

“Good. Then we’ll talk.” She thought she sounded confident, firm. “This won’t take long.”

“About what, Mother?” Penny’s tone suggested that she knew why Suzanna was calling.

Suzanna heard a chair scrape across the floor. “I’ll make this short, dear. And sweet.” She gulped a quick breath and blinked once, twice. “I want you to understand something.” She reached for a glass of water and took a quick sip. “No, that’s not right. I want you—I need you to accept it. Understanding is optional.”

“About what?”

There was that almost perceptible tone of condescension Penny used so often, suggesting Suzanna wasn’t very intelligent.
Well, so be it.
“I love Jonathan and I’m going to go back to the ranch after Kevin’s wedding. And, if you don’t like it, I’m very sorry. You’ll always be my daughter, always welcome in my home, in
our
home. Jonathan’s not a bad man, sweetie. He loves me. And once you get to know him, I think you’ll like him, too.”

Penny gave a little gasp and then a sniff.

Was Penny crying? Suzanna rushed on. “The important thing is Jonathan loves me. And I love him. That’s the bottom line.” When she stopped talking, she realized she was sitting so close to the table that her abdomen was pressed painfully into its edge. Maybe that’s why she couldn’t take a deep breath.

Suzanna eased back in her chair, the sound of Penny’s steady breathing into the phone almost hypnotic. Finally she asked, “Are you still there, sweetheart?”

More silence.

Then a small voice, almost child-like. “Are you sure, Mother?”

That’s it? That’s all?
Suzanna let out her breath, unaware until then that she’d been holding it. “Yes, dear, I’m sure.”

“Oh.” More silence. Then, “I have to go. Charles is waving at me.”

“Of course. You’re at work. Why don’t you come over for dinner tomorrow, or whenever you can, sweetheart? So we can talk some more. I love you, Penny.”

“I know, Mother. Bye.”

Suzanna sat where she was for a long minute. Then she stood, walked to the back door and waved to Margaret from the sunroom window.

“Did you do it?”

At Suzanna’s nod, Margaret clapped her hands as she entered the kitchen. “Fabulous!” She pushed a box of tissues in Suzanna’s direction. “Then why are you crying?”

“Relief, Margaret. I should have called her weeks ago. It felt so good to do that.”

“Did she argue with you?”

“Not really. I think she was shocked that I said what I did.” She let out another breath. “She seemed to take it pretty
well. Maybe she’
s relieved. Jonathan said she might be.”

“Good. Time to tell him you did it. What you told her.”

“I have to have some tea first. Don’t leave.” Suzanna blew her nose.

“I’m not going anywhere. Are you sure you want me to take these pink beauties home? Their color is to die for.”

“Take as many as you like.”

Suzanna
dialed
the ranch
.

“Circle K Ranch
, Nate here
.”

“Uh, h
i, Nate
.
It’s Suzanna.”

“Well, hello. It’s g
ood to hear your voice.”

She gave Margaret a tentative smile.
“It’s good to hear you, too
, Nate
. How are things?”

“They could be better.”

I wonder what that means.
Was she imagining it or was Nate being deliberately obtuse? She reached for Margaret’s hand.

Her friend squeezed it and mouthed,
go on.

“Is Jonathan there?”

“
He left about an hour ago.
Could you hold
on a minute
? Curly probably knows
when he’ll be back
.”

A long minute later, “Suzanna,
he went out to check on the new colts
. Could I have him call you
? I’m sure it won’t be long, or…
never
mind. Here he
comes
.”

After a silence that began to wear on her, she heard his voice. Jonathan was breathing hard. Had he run in? “Suzanna
.”
The timber of his voice when he said her name sent little trills into her heart before spinning around her stomach and sliding into her core.

“Jonathan.” She stopped and started again. “I called—to—to thank you for the flowers.”

“You’
re very welcome. How are you
holding up, with all the wedding issues
?”

“
Good
—”
Fine, actually. Never better.
Her composure broke
, and her eyes began to leak again. She forced her voice to sound steady, calm
.
“I talked to Penny.”

Now he was silent. Waiting. She gulped and said, “I told her I loved you and I was coming back to the ranch after Kevin’s wedding.”

“What did she say?”

“She seemed to accept it. At least no arguing.” She laughed, feeling lighter than air. “Then I invited her for dinner so we could talk some more.”

“I knew you could do it.
”

The warmth in his voice. It heated her through and through. “More flowers came today, too.” That was so inane. He had to know the delivery schedule.

“Do you like them?”

“They’re beautiful, but you don’t have to keep sending them.” She smiled over at Margaret and added, “I love them, but…
people are
starting to talk
.”

His deep-throated chuckle sent zings of electricity through her. “Kevin told me you love roses.
By the way, what color
arrived
today?”

“Twelve red on
es and a
beautiful
white
one for Ronnie. She’ll love it
.”

“I’m glad.” He laughed out loud. “Would you like me to send Penny some flowers, too—perhaps a dozen of her own?”

She giggled at the thought. “No need. She’s not into roses like I am.”

Chapter 21

Suzanna
hit the send button
.

Dearest Jonathan: I’m terribly busy here. Much as I would love to see you, I just can’t get away right now. The place where everyone thought the bridesmaids would stay is no longer available. So, my house will be their hangout. I’m rearranging the furniture and laying in food for the five of them—counting Ronnie, who says she doesn’t want to miss the fun.

The week before he graduated, Kevin heard from Jamie about interning at the Consulate office in Toronto this coming year. He is so excited and thrilled to have this experience before going to grad school. I think all your talks about the trade work you do were an inspiration to him.

I almost forgot: I had another long talk with Penny. I told her she had her own life to live, not mine. She wouldn’t speak to me for days, but then she called and apologized. And, surprise! She said she would sit next to you at the wedding. I promise to make sure she doesn’t bite, but have you had a recent rabies shot, just in case? Kevin says you’re on the invitation list. With my house soon to be full of bridesmaids, Margaret gave me the name of a special little B&B where you can stay. We’d have more privacy there, assuming you want me to visit.

All my love, Suzanna

Jonathan
emailed her as soon as he received her message.

My dearest Suzanna: I’m on my way to London, then Paris, and back to London for special meetings Jamie set up. I am trying to arrange to fly home through Minneapolis for Kevin’s wedding. If I don’t make it in time, it will be because I couldn’t make connections. Please tell Kevin I wish him and his bride all the best.

Tell Sam I expect him to treat the ladies well, but to not let them take advantage of him. Your suggestion of the B&B sounds like a fine idea.

I love you. Jonathan

PS Nate and the boys extend their congratulations to Kevin.

Sam barked and headed for the back door, his tail working like a helicopter rotor.
“I’m in the kitchen, Margaret!”
Suzanna pulled her hands out of the soapy water.

“I can tell
,” Margaret said
.
“T
hat bread smells fabulous. Has Jonathan tasted your bread? That oughta make him propose if he hasn’t already.” She grinned at Suzanna.

“Nate bakes bread
, too
. I’ve
tasted it and it’
s wonderful.
Here, why don’t you put these on the table.” She handed Margaret the napkins in individual silver rings.

“
Maybe I should have bought a dog and wandered off to the west instead of sticking around here after
William
died.”
Margaret
picked up the picture of Jonathan holding a black foal. “
Why
didn’t
you
invite me to meet him when he was here
last month? O
r were you afraid I would try to steal him away?” She wiggled her brows at Suzanna
and grinned wickedly. “You’re blushing, dear girl.”

“
We didn’t have a lot of time together. And he was mostly at the university
.”
Except for that night they’d made love in the guest room. Suzanna’s heart began an almost audible thudding at the thought.

“Well, when he’s here for the we
dding, I expect an introduction
and at least one
dance.”

“I’ll try to arrange
it
.”

The next day, Suzanna stroked Penny’s back while they sat
in Brad’s study overlooking the backyard. “
Darling
, stop crying and listen to me.” Suzanna helped her daughter sit up. “Life is not over just because you lost your job.”

“But, I’ll never get another one like it.”

“Of course you will.
You have tons of talent.”

“No, I won’t.
”
More tears cascaded down
Penny’s
face.
“And,
I’ll never get a decent re
ference
out of Charles.”

“How much of that is related to what you did?”

Penny
wiped her eyes. “I know
.
I should have backed off, but that
old man just made me so mad.
” She reached for another tissue.

“Honey, that
man
was a customer, and you know the old saw—”

“I know, ‘the customer is always right’.”

“
Maybe
it’s time to think through what you want to do
next
and start sending out resumé
s
. And, how about apologizing to Charles?” She
patt
ed her daughter’s
arm
.

Suzanna
kept her gaze steady
when
Penny looked back at her
. “What do you think you should do about all this?”

“I don’t know.” She fidgeted.

“I think you do. Will you talk
to Charles?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Think hard. Who knows? He might take you back
,
or
at least
give you a
good
recommendation.”

Suzanna moved the bridesmaids
into the bedrooms, leaving the guest room for Ronnie, who planned to stay at her parents’ condo until the end of the week.

“Girls, when you’
re
all
settled, come down to the family room.” With Brad’s things cleared out and some of the furniture rearranged,
the rooms
now
reflected her
taste
.

“M
rs. Wallace, may
I let the dog in?”
one of the bridesmaids asked.

“Call me Suzanna, Mandy. His name is Sam and he’s welcome.”

The family room echoed with
a flurry of conversations about the wedding.
Amid all the talk and laughter,
Suzanna felt like a mother with four new daughters
. When
Ronnie
joined them
, things became even more hectic as dresses were tried on, and adjustments made.

S
uzanna
looked at the calendar.
Five
days to go before the wedding.
I hope I can get through everything without falling apart.
She touched the realtor’s business card tacked on her bulletin board. She itched to call her again, but that, too, had to wait until after the wedding.

Suzanna waited
up
for the girls to return after the first of three pre-wedding parties with the groomsmen. After
they had trooped upstairs
, she
was
turn
ing
out lights when the phone rang.

“Suzanna?” Jonathan
murmured, his voice low
.

“You don’t need to whisper,” she
replied, her voice almost as quiet
.
“I
t’s just me here in the living room
with Sam, and he’s
already asleep
.”

“I didn’
t want you to hear this from anyone else and I just got the message myself.
”
Static interrupted him
for an extra beat
.
“
Emma died
this afternoon.”

Suzanna gripped the phone in stunned silence.

“
Are you still there?”

“Yes, I’m here.
”
Her gut twisted and she reached for a tissue. “
I thought her surgery went well and she was recovering nicely.”

“All true.
But, Abby said Emma complained of feeling tired, so she went home from the library early
. When
Abby stopped in to check on her, she was already gone. The doctor suspects she had a stroke, but he won’t know for sure until after the autopsy.”

“When is the funeral?” Suzanna allowed her tears to slide down her cheeks
, stricken at the news
.

“In two days. I won’t be there, and everyone knows you can’t come with the wedding right around the corner.”

Suzanna was quiet for a moment. “I’ll send flowers tomorrow—first thing. I’m so sorry, Jonathan. She was a cousin, wasn’t she?”

“Yes. I’ve got to go. It’s nearly dawn here, and
I have
a meeting in two hours.”

“Thanks for calling to tell me. Good luck with your meeting, love.”

Suzanna
thought back
to all her conversations with Emma. W
orking in the library had built
her
confiden
ce, shown her
that
she
really did have
skills others
appreciated
. In so many ways, Emma had been a loving mother when Suzanna
most needed one,
never stinting in her encouragement and praise, always thinking positively, and allowing
her
to try out her ideas with never a hint t
hat they might not work. Suzanna’s parents had been dead for so many years. Emma had taken her mother’s place simply by being herself.

Two
days later,
after another emotional blow,
Suzanna forced herself to go to the computer. How she wished she could
call
Jonathan, to hear his voice
, but the time difference and
his work schedule wouldn’
t
permit
it. She opened the computer and began her message, wiping her eyes
between words
.

Dearest Jonathan—Sam and I took a break from wedding chores yesterday with a long walk. We were headed home when he spied a squirrel and the leash slipped out of my hand. Before I could stop him, he ran into the street and a car hit him. He died within minutes.

Penny has stayed here with me since it happened. At night, I still think I hear the slap of his dog door. Today, when I was in the sunroom, I looked outside at the spot in the garden where he always used to lie, on top of my pink and red impatiens. I was sure I heard him snoring. We buried him next to the white rose bush and sprinkled the petals over his grave. Kevin and I talked about all the ways Sam was my right hand man on my trip—before and after I met you, how protective he was and how he so quickly made friends with you and Rex.

Sam had so much fun after the girls arrived, trotting from one room to another and playing with them well past when the girls should have been getting their beauty sleep. At least they have those memories to remember him by—in addition to the happy ones to come with the wedding.

I know it’s not the same, but first Emma and now Sam. I keep wondering who else I might lose this year.

One more thing: I’ve sent a sizable donation to the library in memory of Emma and Sam, her favorite foot warmer. I would love for the new books to be for the Children’s Corner. Emma was so proud of what we did in that part of the library.

All my love, Suzanna

Two nights later near midnight,
her computer
pinged, alerting her to an email message
. She read it
twice through
.

Dearest Suzanna: I was so sorry to hear about Sam. I asked Nate to look in at the library and he will report back when your check arrives. Your wish for the books to be for the Children’s Corner will be honored. He’ll make sure of that. But, we no longer have a Children’s Corner. The library board and the high school girls who worked there during Emma’s recuperation agreed unanimously with Nate’s suggestion. It’s been renamed “Sam’s Corner.” They figured you wouldn’t mind, and a picture of smiling Sam with the big red bow around his neck that Emma took last summer is already hanging near the window seat. When you come, we’ll see it together.

For now, please know that I am wrapping my arms and love around you and wishing that I could be there to kiss your tears away for sweet Sam.

All my love, Jonathan

Suzanna sat at the window seat overlooking the back garden. The house was much too quiet with the bridesmaids at the last party before the wedding. Her mind flew back to the earlier years—imperat
ive orders from Penny
telling her younger brother to get out of her room and away from her toys
. The many
quieter arguments
that ensued were
often couched in logic more mature than people expected from Kevin
. She heard
Sam’s whines and barks or his soft wiffling snores when he snoozed next to her feet. Curiously, and for the first time in years, she also remembered the good times she
had enjoyed with Brad. He wasn’
t all bad, she knew, and—most importantly—he was the father of her children, without whom her life would have been far emptier.