Dark Secrets (78 page)

“
But it is!” I pushed
his arms off me. “It is for me. You don’t get it. You don’t know
what this means.”

“
I do, baby. I get
it. Your mum and Harry died becau—”

“
No! It’s not that.
You’re not even close. God, you don’t know anything about my life.”
I turned away, seeing him take a step toward me as I fled the room,
but he stayed where I left him.

The weakness in my
mind forced itself outside my head, travelling down my legs, making
it hard to climb the stairs. I just had to make it to my room
before I fell.

I burst through my
door, half folded over, and slammed it shut with my foot before
collapsing into a pair of strong, cool arms. “My love. It’s okay.
Just calm down.”

Salty pools distorted
the face of my vampire, spilling past my lashes as I blinked away
my disbelief. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at
work.”

“
I felt…” He touched
his chest. “I felt something shift.”

“
Shift?” I wiped my
face.

“
I think it was you.”
He wrapped me up safely in his arms. “What is it, my love? What
happened?”

“
He loves me, David,”
I blubbered. “What do I do now? He loves me.”

“
I know,” his voice
was liquid with worry. “It’s okay. Everything will be
okay.”

I shook my head,
sniffling. “Fate. Fate de-de—” I couldn’t get it out.
“Decided.”

“
What are you talking
about, Ara?”

I tried to speak, but
even my thoughts wouldn’t form the truth for him to see—the truth
that I let my future fall in the hands of Chance and now I had my
answer. Now, I knew what I had to do.

He looked at me for a
long moment, obviously trying to find a thought among the mess of
confusion in my mind. “Just cry, sweetheart—for as long as the
tears will fall.” He kissed the crown of my head, then swept me up
in his arms and carried me to the bed. “I’ll be here. I’ll hold you
until you fall asleep.”

I settled against his
chest, and even though he had no heartbeat to show his emotions, I
could feel the pain my every thought inflicted on him; feel his
body stiffen every time I saw Mike’s face in my mind; feel the
thorn through his soul with every beat of my heart that wasn’t for
him. But he stayed with me, loved me a while longer as my heart
tore itself apart and shattered in two; one piece for David and one
for Mike—who really owned that part of me all along. And as the sky
turned dark, in his arms I drifted toward a deep, exhausted
sleep.

Restless images
flashed in downward scrolls like an old film before my eyes—the
movie jagged, cut, stuck together—an incomprehensible storyline.
The colour was gone, leaving only greyed hues through an unfocused
lens.

Faceless strangers
stared as I passed each row of seats, and I held my bouquet closer
to my heart, protecting what was within. They could see the red
rose, sitting in contrast to the white flowers surrounding it—the
only colour in this grey little world. I could feel their
curiosity, heard their whispers, but no one would understand, so I
held my head high and walked on, each step taking a lifetime, as if
I was being slowed by a force unseen.

I could see the man at
the end, where the light touched the lip of the steps; standing
tall, proud, confident. He was waiting there—for me—hands behind
his back, eyes watching, face shadowed by the darkness of this
never ending walk.

The light around him
faded more for each step I took, so too did the dull, lifeless toll
of church bells, ringing somewhere out there in the world beyond my
future.

As I finally reached
his side, my red blossom wilted, tar seeping up its veins, soaking
away the colour around the shrinking petals until, finally, they
fell like black snow toward my ruby slippers. David and I held our
breath, watching them leave their life behind, decaying into ash
around our feet.

“
See, you don’t need
it anymore,” he said.

“
Don’t need
what?”

He nodded toward the
ash. “Life.”

I looked up into his
proud eyes and held my breath. It was time. It had to be now or
never. “You’re wrong, David,” I said, placing the remains of the
pale bouquet in his hand. “That’s not what it means.”

“
What does it mean,
then?”

I slowly drew a
breath, hesitating on the preface of his destruction. “That I don’t
need
you
anymore.”

His eyes brimmed with
liquid, making the green appear as colour among the
greys.

“
I have to go,” I
said in a whisper.

“
Where are you
going?”

I reached behind me
and took the firm, strong hand that grabbed mine. “To
live.”

He seemed to own no
comprehension at first, but as my mind woke a little with the feel
of his cool arms coming away from my body where I hadn’t felt them
before, I saw his eyes switch from realisation to deep sadness. He
nodded, taking slow steps backward; his elbows, his arms, his
waist, tapering into the darkness until, finally, the shadows
consumed him.

“
I’m sorry, David,” I
said, waiting, knowing what would come next. A lifetime seemed to
pass before the ground quivered beneath my feet, the ashes around
my ruby slippers rising into the air, floating like dust particles
in a smoky cloud. And inch-by-inch, the ground crumbled toward me,
narrowing in my little world. I felt for Mike’s hand, turning to
look back at the emptiness of my own faults. But he was gone. The
only thing out there was Fate; I could hear Her laughing, could
feel Her eyes on me, watching on as the ground came away
completely, empty air wrapping my form, dragging me down in an
eternal fall toward the darkness of mortality.

“
David.” My whispered
cry became an echo as the timespan of forever spread out around me.
“I’m sorry.”

Gasping, I jolted
awake, grabbing the edges of my blanket.

David
?

I looked behind me,
under me, beside me—he was gone.

No. Oh, God, he saw
it—the whole thing.
I covered my mouth
with both hands and closed my eyes tight as I remembered the dream.
“What have I done?”

The clock in the hall
ticked loudly, each second timing the beat of my heart and bringing
the rise of realisation a little closer to the surface; Fate
decided.

Mortality.

Death.

Life.

Mike.

But that didn’t mean I
agreed.

Exhaustion made me
flop back down on my pillow, and as my hand fell beside my face,
something cool and smooth touched my fingertips, filling my senses
with the floral perfume of roses.

“
Morning, sleeping
beauty.” Mike leaned against the doorframe with a tray in his
hands.

Sound suddenly came
rushing back to my ears. “Morning? How long was I out
for?”

“
All night.” He
shrugged and walked into my room. “You cried for a long time at
first, then you went quiet. I came to check on you, but you were
asleep.” He set the tray down on the bed beside my legs, bringing
the smell of toast in behind him. “Still your favourite flower?” He
nodded toward the rose.

“
You
left this?” I picked it up,
being careful of the thorns on the stem.

“
Who
else?”

“
Well, thank you.” I
sniffed its sweet, soft scent, fading as the autumn destroyed
everything that was once beautiful in the summer. “You have no idea
what this means to me.”

“
Are you okay?” Mike
sat beside me, moving the tray onto my lap.

“
Not really. I just
can’t believe it, Mike. All this time, I thought I was wrong. I
thought I misread everything between us.” I put the rose down. “I
need to know—is this how you really feel, or is it
guilt?”

Mike grinned and
looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. “Will it matter? You
love
David
.”

I frowned at
him.

“
I heard you talking
in your sleep,” he said sheepishly.

“
Really?” Was there
no privacy in this world?

“
Okay. I’m just gonna throw it out there and you can do with
it what you want.” He turned his body to face me then took both of
my hands. “I am in love with you, Ara-Rose. You were never wrong
about that. You never misread anything, okay? I love you.” He
squeezed my hands on each of his end words. “I’m a complete moron,
and I’m so
bloody
sorry for that. But I loved you before your mum died, so I’m
pretty damn sure it’s not guilt, baby.”

“
I...” His words
soaked through me. “I can’t respond yet, Mike. I need to
think.”

“
I know.” He nodded.
“So, for now, I’ve arranged with your dad for you to have a few
days off school—give you some time to clear your head.” He winked
at me and smiled, but it faded quickly, leaving the serious Mike
behind again. “Your dad loves you, you know. He was worried about
you last night.”

“
What did you tell
him—about why I was crying?”

“
Everything.”

“
Everything
?”

“
Yeah, I told him
everything.”

“
You what!” I jolted
forward, nearly sending the breakfast tray flying. “Mike, how could
you?”

“
Ara.” He pulled my
hand away from my mouth. “I know you didn’t want him to know what
happened the night your mum died, but he’s your dad and he loves
you—no matter what.”

I shook my head. “Not
now that he knows she died because of me, I—”

“
Ara. Don’t say that.” He grabbed my arms firmly and pulled me
in for a short hug. “
I’m
the loser that turned you down.
I’m
the one to blame.
Not you.”

“
No, Mike.” I gently shook my head and closed my eyes, calling
on the strength I’d come to know since meeting David, trying to
believe my next words. “It was no one’s fault. It just happened
and, I guess—” I opened my eyes to Mike’s smile, “—I guess it’s
natural to look for someone to blame, but neither of us intended
that to happen. We should
both
stop blaming ourselves.”

He tucked a strand of
hair behind my ear. “Your dad was heartbroken when I told him you
were carrying the blame. He hadn’t even guessed it, you know. He’s
been so worried about you, and when I told him you felt responsible
for what happened to your mum, he was actually relived that
that’s
all it was. He
doesn’t hate you, baby, he can’t hate you. He loves you too much.
That’s why he let you have a few days off—to be with
me.”

“
He likes you,” I
noted begrudgingly.

“
He’s an excellent
judge of character.” Mike grinned; I smiled back. I couldn’t resist
it. He just had this presence about him that excluded everyone from
his inner circle of love, but when he smiled like that, it meant
you belonged.

“
I can’t believe you
told him about us. I yelled at him, you know—when he accused me of
loving you.”

“
Is that such a bad
accusation?” Mike asked, a little insulted.

“
It’s not true.” I
smiled.

“
Ouch.” He laughed,
then leaned over my body with his face right up close to mine. “So?
What do you want to do today?”

“
Honestly?” I
unfolded my arms. “I think I’d like to just sit around and watch
movies.”

“
I thought you’d say
that. But, I get to hold the popcorn.”

“
No way! You always
do.”

“
I’ll fight you for
it.” He tickled my ribs.

“
Stop it!” I giggled,
wriggling about, trying to pull his hand away without knocking the
tray.

“
Make me.”

“
Mike!” I squealed.
“Stop it or I’ll wet myself.”

“
Stopping.” He raised
his hands above his head and sat back.

“
Ha!” I said. “Works
every time.”

Vicki heaped another
pile of butter-scented potatoes onto Mike’s plate. “So, what did
you kids get up to today?”

“
Watched movies,” I
said with my mouth full.

“
Anything good?” Dad
asked, sprinkling salt on his dinner; Vicki just sighed at him as
she sat down in the soft light of our candlelit dinner.

“
Couple of oldies.
Ara made me watch some black-and-white with a curly-haired kid in
it,” Mike said.

Dad looked at me.
“What movie?”

“
Oh, um, Shirley
Temple,” I said.

“
Ah, yes, good ol’
Shirley.” Dad nodded.

“
I
used to
love
Shirley,” Vicki said dreamily. “I grew up watching those
movies.”

Sam slid down in his
seat. “You grew up watching the invention of the light
bulb.”