Broken Wings (Contemporary Romance) (20 page)

“
Well, Lucy, he can have all the space and time he needs. He has thrown us away and I just cannot forgive him for that. I am moving on with my life now and to think, I almost ended it that day out at the lake, Lucy.”

Lucy could see a different Angelina emerging before her, an angry one, and one empty of all emotion. This was the last straw for her friend. She could see it in her eyes.

“I've called my boss and informed him I will be back at work tomorrow. I need to be there, to keep myself busy.”

“
I can understand that, Angelina, and quite frankly I think it's the best thing for you right now.”

“
Lucy, will you do me a favour? Promise me you will never mention Joshua again. I just don't ever want a conversation with the name Joshua in it, okay?”

Lucy nodded in agreement.
“Look, do you want to go out on Friday? I could gather up the girls again as I know they'd be up for it?”

Angelina smiled an unexpected smile.
“That's a great idea, Lucy, a night out is just what I need. Yes, call the girls and see if they are all free.”

Chapter
Twenty Three

Angelina had spent the next two days on autopilot; Friday night came around quickly and she was feeling reckless. Lucy picked her up at the usual time of seven o'clock. The girls were not sure what to expect as they hadn't seen Angelina since Joshua went missing. They weren't their normal bubbly over-excited selves but were cautious and mindful of Angelina's delicate emotional state.

“Hey, what's with you lot? Come on, this is supposed to be a night out,” urged Angelina. She'd already had two large glasses of wine and was full of adrenalin. Lucy was worried, very worried, for her and knew she would need to remain close by her for the rest of the evening. Once they reached the club, the atmosphere between the girls livened up and they laughed and joked around the table. Lucy noticed Jayden on the far side of the club with his friends, looking over towards her.

“
Hey girls, great to see you again. Hi, Angelina,” he said nervously, not quite sure what reaction he would receive.

“
Hey Jayden, I'm fine, in fact better than fine. Do you want to dance?” asked Angelina.

Jayden's mouth was agape, that was the last thing he was expecting and Lucy was not happy at all. She knew Angelina was not in her right mind at the moment. She wasn't thinking clearly and it was obvious to her that she was just trying to block Joshua out of her mind any way she could. She had already consumed far too much wine and was unsteady on her feet. Lucy glared at Jayden, a knowing look that said don't take advantage.

Jayden nodded to Lucy and then said, “Don't worry Lucy, I will take care of her.”

Jayden and Angelina danced several dances together, Angelina wrapped her arms around Jayden and her head buried in his shoulders.
“Jayden, would you take me home? I need to get out of here, I feel sick.”

Jayden gladly agreed. He had always liked Angelina and wanted nothing more than to get closer to her. Lucy was furious when she learned he was taking her home and urged Angelina to go home with her and the girls but Angelina was insistent and walked out of the club with Jayden. They hopped into a taxi and headed to her cottage.

On arrival, Jayden walked Angelina in to her house and made her a strong coffee. “Please stay with me tonight, Jayden. I really don't want to be alone right now.” Jayden thought long and hard about staying. He knew he should leave but he couldn't, he wanted to hold her and protect her and make her feel better. He knew she was hurting inside despite the image she was portraying to everyone.

“
Okay, I will stay.”

Angelina leaned over to kiss him and Jayden responded eagerly. Suddenly she pulled away,
“Oh God, Jayden, I'm so sorry, I can't do this.” She walked into the kitchen.

“
Look, let me help you up the stairs to bed. I will sleep downstairs on the sofa, Angelina. At least then if you wake up feeling sick in the night, there is somebody here to look out for you,” Jayden suggested.

“
Thank you, Jayden, that would be nice.”

Jayden helped Angelina to bed, taking off her shoes and pulling the bedclothes over her. He then went downstairs and took up his position for the night on Angelina's sofa. Before falling asleep himself, he sent Lucy a message telling her not to worry and that she was in bed and he was on the couch. He didn't want to be seen as taking advantage of a vulnerable woman. He knew in his heart now that Angelina would never be his, whether Joshua was around or not. He promised himself to be there for her as a friend if she wanted him to be.

The following morning, Angelina woke up with a throbbing headache. She made her way downstairs and did a double take when she spotted Jayden fast asleep on her couch. She was puzzled; she had no recollection of the night before. How on earth did I end up with Jayden in my house?

“
Good morning,” he said, waking up and seeing her staring at him.

“
Good morning, Jayden. Look I'm a bit confused right now, what exactly happened last night?” she asked, concerned.

“
Nothing for you to worry about! We danced, I brought you home and you went to bed. I offered to stay on your sofa in the event you needed someone during the night as you were out of it!”

Angelina was embarrassed, wondering if anything else happened. She needed to know.
“Did anything happen between us, Jayden, and don't lie to me.”

Jayden pondered her question for a few moments before answering.
“Look, there was a little kiss, but it stopped as soon as it started. You couldn't do it and pulled away, okay. I should have known better, Angelina.”

His honesty was not lost on her. She smiled and offered to make him breakfast.
“Thank you for staying last night and thank you for being honest with me and not taking advantage.”

“
You are most welcome, now get that breakfast on. I'm starving and then I need to head home.”

Angelina cooked them breakfast while Jayden sat back and attempted to impart some advice her way. She mumbled, nodded and occasionally agreed, with very little input. She was ashamed of her behaviour, she had lost it through her anger and knew she had some apologising to do to Lucy. After Jayden left, Angelina pulled out all of Joshua's letters and spent the whole morning reading them again, one by one. By the time she came to the last letter, something hit her square in the face, something that had never entered her mind until this very moment.

She got dressed, jumped into her car and headed over to Lucy's house. After she had rapped on the door for a minute or so like a mad woman, Lucy opened it, wearing nothing but a bath towel.

“
Sorry, I was in the bath. What on earth is going on?”

“
I know what I have to do, Lucy. It suddenly became clear to me this morning. There is something wrong with Joshua, I just know it. I think something he feels is so bad he does not want to burden me with it. I have decided to drive up to Birmingham and book myself into the Novotel on Broad Street. I know the Midlands like the back of my hand and I know my way around the city of Birmingham very well. I need to see him for myself, Lucy, or I will never be able to move on and if I'm wrong, then so be it. But I can't go through the rest of my life without seeing him again. I need to be absolutely sure in my own mind that I did everything I possibly could to save us both.”

Lucy just stared at Angelina in complete shock.
“Are you crazy? I'm not so sure this is a good idea. What if you get there and he refuses to see you?”

“
He won't know I'm coming, Lucy. I managed to persuade his friend Sean McKay who was recently treated at the QE to come along with me. He has an out-patient’s appointment there tomorrow and he kindly agreed to let me tag along with him to increase my chances of getting in to see Joshua. I will just turn up and find my way to him somehow. I know security at the QE military wing is tight and they have more staff than the NHS wing, but at least I will be in the building if I'm accompanying Sean. If I went alone, I wouldn't get past security at the entrance,” Angelina said desperately.

“
Okay, it sounds like your mind is all made up. All I will say, Angelina, is be prepared for the worst. He may refuse to speak to you and it may not turn out how you hope it will, not to mention you may get thrown out of the hospital.”

Angelina left a spare set of house keys with Lucy so she could keep an eye on her cottage while she was gone, not knowing how long that would be. She drove over the speed limit all the way back home, grabbed an old weekend bag and packed a few essentials that she would need for the next couple of days. She booked herself and Sean into separate rooms at the Novotel.

She'd agreed to pick Sean up on route. She beeped her horn and waited for a few minutes until Sean emerged from his house. She opened the passenger door to let him in and then set off.

It was a long drive up to the
Midlands, over four hours, but for the first time since Joshua went MIA, she felt positive and in control of her life, something she thought she would never feel again. She turned on her mobile phone and left an urgent message for her boss Geoffrey.

“
Thanks for doing this, Sean. I know it was a lot to ask but I just needed to see him and you are my only chance of getting anywhere near him.”

Sean looked out of the window, feeling rather anxious himself as he hadn't seen Joshua since that fateful day. He was really curious as to how his friend and comrade was doing and was rather eager to see him. He was doing this as much for himself as for Angelina.

Sean was dealing with his own demons, having only one arm and having to come to terms with the fact that his life would never be the same again. He wasn't sleeping during the night, often tormented by recurring nightmares of the attack in Afghanistan. He still couldn’t believe he had survived the explosion and was struggling with feelings of guilt that he survived and the others were killed. His term in the British Army was ended that day, now he had to decide what exactly he was going to do with the rest of his life. At just twenty two years old, single and currently in therapy himself, he also had to deal with depression on top of everything else.

“
Angelina, have you prepared yourself for the worst? I have some idea of what Joshua may be going through right now and if he is doing worse than me then trust me, he's in a pretty bad place mentally.”

Angelina looked to Sean and then looked down at his stump. She realized just how much she had asked of him.
“Sean, are you sure about coming with me? I don't want to get you into any trouble, it's the last thing you need right now.”

“
I'm sure. Like I said, I was due for an outpatient’s appointment tomorrow anyway; my brother was going to take me so it makes sense we travel together. I thought it would help me if I was to help you, if that makes any sense.”

Angelina smiled and gently touched Sean's arm.
“It makes complete sense to me,” she replied.

Finally they were on the M6 just outside
Birmingham, the traffic into the city was bumper to bumper and they were crawling along at a snail’s pace. Angelina had forgotten how bad the traffic could be in the centre of the city. As they came off the Queensway roundabout and headed towards Broad Street, Angelina felt sad as she looked out of the window at her old home town. This was where she had gone to college and attended her part time job at weekends. This was where she had gone to school and all her childhood memories came flooding back

As she drove down the very busy and bustling Broad Street, the clubbing capital of the Midlands, she looked out of her car window at all the teenagers dressed up to the nines, ready for a night out on the town. There were young girls dressed in barely anything, handing out flyers to entice as many people as they could into their club or bars. People travelled from all over to party on
Broad Street. It was also home to many great hotels such as the Hiatt and the Novatel. Angelina had been very lucky to secure a booking at such short notice. She parked and helped Sean out of the car then they headed into the hotel and walked up to reception to check in.

“
Look, I know a few great restaurants around here, Sean. There is a lovely Italian place just at the back of Broad Street in Brindley Place called Cielo, it's in a little square and the service is second to none. They do the most amazing pasta dishes and serve the very best wine! Please, my treat; after all, it's the very least I can do,” suggested Angelina.

“
Now that sounds like an offer I cannot refuse. I love pasta and to be honest, I'm starving.”

Angelina and Sean checked in to their rooms and met five minutes later in the Novotel bar where they had a quick drink before walking the short distance to
Brindley Place.

“
See that pub on the corner over there? The Brass House it's called; well, I used to have lunch there quite often during summer time when I was at college. They do great pub food at great prices too, and it used to be quite popular with the Central news team. I saw Charlie the news reader in there once or twice, tucking into a hearty dinner.”