Broken Wings (Contemporary Romance) (16 page)

Angelina unlocked the door to her small cottage and turned the lights on as she entered the dark hallway.
“I cannot stay, Angelina; I have not got much time left so please come here.”

Slowly she walked towards him; he pulled her close and held her tight. He pressed his lips to hers, and then Angelina buried her head in his chest, no longer able to contain her tears.
“I’m sorry; you know how much I hate our goodbyes.” She reached for the envelope from her the mantelpiece and handed it to him. “Remember, do not open it.”

Smiling, he kissed her once more and then headed out the door.

Angelina watched as Joshua pulled away, she had a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. She ran into her cottage and buried her head in the cushion on the sofa. Watching him drive away once more, knowing she would not see him for six months, felt like she'd just been punched in the stomach. It was the telephone ringing thirty minutes later that encouraged Angelina to raise her head.

“
Angelina, it's Lucy, I'm coming over, okay. I know how hard it is for you today, I just heard from Richard. I had no idea he was going on a second tour, none of us did. I know how you must be feeling so I thought we could spend the afternoon together and guess what? I am cooking! See you in around twenty minutes, okay.” Lucy rang off and Angelina went to the bathroom to wash her face and pull herself together. She threw on an old blue sweater and a pair of sweat pants before taking up her previous position with the cushion on the couch.

As promised, Lucy was ringing the doorbell almost twenty minutes later and Angelina welcomed her visit with open arms. Lucy was just what she needed right now. She wasn't going to tell Lucy about their impromptu engagement for now; she wanted to keep it to herself for a while longer. She watched Lucy as she started to empty the contents of her bag onto the kitchen table.

“I have a bag of goodies here to tempt your appetite, and just in case you were all out, I have a bottle of red too.” Angelina popped the cork and poured two large glasses, watching as Lucy went about preparing dinner for the two of them.

“
You really don't have to do this, Lucy. Is Richard okay with you coming over? I mean, you didn't have plans or anything, did you?”

“
Not at all, and Richard is fine. In fact, he encouraged my visit over here today, so stop worrying and get that wine down your neck!”

Angelina smiled and took a gulp of her wine.
“Lucy, how am I going to cope without him for so long? My heart hurts so much already. It's March and I won't get to see him until early September at the earliest. Trust me to fall in love with a soldier.”

Lucy carried on cooking and lent her ear to Lucy as she talked and let all her feelings out.
“You will cope, Angelina; you're finding it hard right now because you have just spent two whole weeks with him. Like the last time, you will manage fine. Do you remember what I said about how you get to receive and look forward to his letters and how special that was? Well, tell me I was right. You were practically stalking the postman, for goodness sake! You will be fine, and you have all his letters to look forward too.”

“
I know you're right, Lucy. I just never believed I could feel like this, all consumed from the inside out for one single person. I know this is really weird hearing all this from me of all people, but I am so in love with him, Lucy. Joshua makes me feel alive, he makes me feel like I could climb mountains and do practically anything. He has given me wings. I never even entertained the idea of falling in love again until Joshua appeared in my life.”

Lucy listened to Angelina intently, she kind of envied her. The beginnings of a new love when everything seemed possible. Although she was as much in love with Richard as she was in the beginning, it was now a comfortable love, one that was more bearable on a daily basis. However, she remembered all too well how it felt those first six months, how her tummy flip-flopped every time she saw Richard, every time he called her and she heard his voice down the phone. Those days were heady and heaven sent.

“Believe it or not, Angelina, I felt just as you are feeling right now when Richard and I first started dating. I just knew he was the one for me. And he still is the one; I hope to marry him and have lots of children and raise our family together.”

Angelina smiled an endearing smile and walked over to Lucy and gave her a tight hug.
“Come on, let me give you a hand with dinner.”

Lucy and Angelina cooked a scrumptious meal of home-made lasagne with salad followed by chocolate brownies and clotted cream. They talked, laughed and cried for half the night before Lucy left for home.

Angelina locked up the cottage and headed upstairs for bed. During the night, she woke up several times, tormented by a bad dream. Finally she awoke at seven o’clock in the morning, feeling like she hadn't slept at all. Her dream was playing on her mind; it was so vivid and felt so real. She had dreamt of Joshua during the night, he was in trouble and calling out to her but she couldn't see him, and then his voice disappeared.

The following few weeks at work passed by uneventfully. Angelina glided through each day on auto pilot, with no interest in what was going on around her. Her heart was heavy and she was missing Joshua with all her being. As the days passed, however, it got easier and she was getting back to some sort of normality. She gradually slipped back into her old routine of working long hours during the week and writing all over the weekend and finding just enough time for her runs.

Chapter Seventeen

Angelina's day started off like any other work day, with a familiar rude awakening by her annoying alarm clock followed by the sound of the postman dropping letters through her door. She rushed downstairs and collected her post off the door mat, throwing each letter aside until she saw Joshua's spidery handwriting on a familiar looking envelope. She clutched it tight and opened it hurriedly.

BFPO
24536

To my beautiful Angelina,

Thank you so much for the beautiful poem, I was not expecting that at all! As promised, I did not open the envelope until I reached
Camp Bastion. You are very talented, Angelina. I could feel the words you wrote for me. I also received your recent letter; it made my day and filled me with so much hope for our future. You asked for more details about my daily life out here. Well, I can't lie to you, our days are tough. I have been out on two operations so far. The tension out here is palpable and intense.

Most of the men are in good spirits but missing home, as you can imagine. The letters we receive are what keep us all going, so keep them coming, sweetheart. Every soldier is a target out here; we all have to be super vigilant and rely on each other's skills and alertness because our lives really do depend on each other. The good news filtering through here is that the British army are reducing the number of soldiers they send to
Afghanistan and also reducing the numbers already out here.

So the
UK will see more of its soldiers coming home over the next couple of years, which I know will be a welcome relief for the families. I have informed my commanding officer that I will not be extending at the end of the year so my departure from the British Army has been set in motion. I know it's the right decision for me now Angelina. I have given almost a decade of my life to the army. I have seen so much of death and war; I want to see more of life now. What I am going to do once I do leave is a whole new conversation entirely! I was thinking I could lend my hand to a consultancy position or helping the wounded soldiers during their recovery process back home. Who knows right now? Those are just a couple of ideas rolling around in my head at the moment.

Well, we are three weeks in now, Angelina. I won't be able to write for a few days as I will be out on operations for the next few days and you know what that means. Food via OPRs! Not my favourite choice of menu, but you take what you can get...As always, you will be at the forefront of my mind and I can't wait to hold you and kiss you once more. You are my heart and soul, I love you with all my being and I can't wait to make you my wife.

Love you always

Joshua xxx

Angelina held the letter close to her heart while holding her pendant. She couldn't even begin to imagine what it must be like out there. She was worried, she hated it when he was on operations as this was the most dangerous time for a soldier. Just about anything could happen. But at the same time, Joshua had kept his word; he did not sugar coat anything as promised and kept her updated as much as he was able to on daily life out there, and for this she was grateful.

Over the weeks since Joshua's departure, Angelina had become almost obsessed with the news, watching every item on Afghanistan that came through. For reasons unknown to her, this made her feel close to Joshua and helped her to understand his surroundings and daily life out there. However, this was also raising her fears, as three more soldiers were returned home following a fatal explosion, all heroes in their own right, all with mourning families left behind to pick up the pieces and make sense of it all.

She penned another letter to Joshua, only this time she wrote him a poem to accompany it. After re-reading her words several times, she smiled to herself, feeling satisfied with what she'd written.

Dearest Joshua,

Thank you for your beautiful letter! But most of all thank you for being so frank about your life out there. It's so good to hear that more soldiers will be coming back home. This has been reported in the press over here too. I wait with great anticipation for your safe return to me and not a single minute passes by without thoughts of you taking up pole position in my head! I have written you a poem so here goes...

Eternity Bound:

If I close my eyes for a single moment,

I can see you in the distance.

I can smell your natural fragrance,

Which dares me to step ever closer.

The world seems to disappear,

All noise is faded out.

I reach out to touch your face,

Our souls forever bind.

No ordinary love that withers and dies,

For ours is eternity bound.

Our souls destined to journey,

Forever until the end of time.

If I close my eyes for a single moment

My dream becomes my reality

I can see you, touch you and hold your hand

For our love is eternity bound.

I hope you liked the poem, I wrote it last week when I couldn't sleep for missing you. Life here is much the same and unchanged. I have almost completed my novel which I'm really excited about. I am thinking about self-publishing it, what do you think? Should I give it a shot? It needs professional editing first so I am going to send it off to an editing company that was recommended to me and then I will take it from there. I feel rather nervous about the whole thing, to be honest, so there is still a lot to consider at the moment. The truth is, Joshua, I am at my happiest when I'm writing. I do love my day job but it's not my dream job or one I hope to do full-time in the future.

I can't believe we are four weeks in already, just another five months to go. I have you marked down daily on my calendar and I'm counting down the days! Lucy and Richard send their love and suggested we all go away to Prague for a weekend in October on your return. I thought this was a fabulous idea. A weekend away in Europe, the four of us, I think it would be a wonderful weekend, what do you think? I can see us now, standing on the beautiful, 14th century stone “Charles Bridge,” drinking a hot mulled wine! (which, by the way, you can actually buy on the bridge.) They have these quaint stalls selling local produce. Well, at least they did the last time I went a few years ago. The bridge is one of the city’s finest attractions as it links the two sides of Prague. It's truly a magnificent structure and is the main pedestrian route connecting the old town with the lesser towns of Mala Strana and Prague Cas. It's so quaint and beautiful. Let me know in your next letter and then we can organize everything from this end. All you need to do is make it home!

Anyway, Joshua, I need to sign off now, but only on paper and never in thoughts. I will write very soon. Love you with all my heart.

Love always, Angelina xxx

Chapter
Eighteen

Joshua picked up his metal detector and slowly walked towards the bomb, treading carefully with every step. The other soldiers watched him go. He lay down on the rough dry ground, the bomb just inches away from his head. He started brushing away the dirt and debris with a knife and paint brush. Joshua was the Ammunitions Technical Officer and he alone defuses the bomb. Joshua's Number Two had prepared the ATO's kit beforehand and gave constant advice throughout the disabling of the bomb.

An infantry patrol had spotted something highly suspicious, a dip where the soil had settled over a large buried object and Joshua's team was dispatched to investigate. The well-executed plan to destroy the unexploded bomb and make the area safe for the villagers by preventing insurgents from detonating the bomb to kill innocent women and children was a success. Joshua and his team continued to sweep the area, ensuring it was safe. There was a risk of the bomb spontaneously exploding. If this happened, anyone within close proximity of the detonation point may be killed or seriously wounded but this was a risk they faced daily and one Joshua accepted as part of his job.