Break Me (The Summer Series) (15 page)

~~~

Hours later, Gemma woke up and sat
forward, trying to get her bearings. She looked over at Kate, and her sister
smiled sadly at her. “How are you?”

“Miserable.” Gemma laughed weakly. “Do you
think Dad will buy me a plane ticket home?”

“Why?” Kate asked, clearly confused.

“Well, I can’t move in at school for a month. I
have to live somewhere, Kate.”

“Duh, but why do you have to go home? You can
stay in your room at our house.”

Gemma visibly pulled back in confusion. “I have
a room at your house?”

“Yeah”—Kate laughed—“of course. It’s across
from mine, next to Gray’s. You didn’t know?”

“How would I know?” She stared off, trying to
remember if anyone had ever told her that.

“Well, I don’t know, I guess I thought you
would assume. You’ve always had a room. In all three houses we’ve had.”

“No, kidding . . .?” Gemma said, more to
herself than Kate.

Kate chuckled to herself. “So, you’re going to
stay with us for the rest of summer, right? I’m not ready for you to leave
yet.”

“Sure.” Gemma leaned her head against the
window. “Why not?”

Nineteen

They pulled into the driveway as a
surprised neighbor came walking around the side of the house. “I’m going to
talk to Larry,” Karen said as she opened her door. “I’ll let him know he doesn’t
have to worry about the plants anymore this summer.”

“Okay, dear. Gray,”—their father turned in his
seat to face their son who sat in the middle row of the van—“help me with the
bags. You girls go on inside and get settled.” He avoided eye contact with them
and turned to get out of the car. Gemma wanted to be angry with her father, to
blame him for all of this. And she would soon. First she had to stop hating Abe
so much.

Once they were inside, Kate led the way through
the house, pointing out rooms that were obvious, such as the kitchen, and rooms
that weren’t because of the doors that hid them, such as Gray’s room and the
bathroom. When they walked up the hall, she stopped and pointed. “My room and
this”—she pushed open a door—“is yours.”

Gemma looked at her for a moment and then
walked in ahead of Kate. She was speechless as she looked around. The room was
perfect. Her bed was on the only open wall. It was simple and plush and way too
inviting. The outside wall had a nook that sat at the window overlooking the
backyard and a desk that had a computer waiting for her. There was a television
facing her bed and an assortment of DVD’s below it. On further inspection, she found
that they were all classic novel adaptations. The last wall was a full, built-in
bookshelf. It was full of books she had never heard of and books she knew by
heart. She tried to hide her awe, but as usual, Kate couldn’t be fooled.

“He is so meticulous when it comes to your
room. In every house, he makes sure it has exactly what you would need. I
remember when we were looking before they bought this one. We found one that all
of us loved. It was beautiful, but”—she sighed—“the room that would have been
yours didn’t have any room for a desk. He said, and I quote, ‘There is no way
that my daughter won’t want a place to write down her thoughts. If she can’t
have a desk, then we can’t have the house.’”

“We were so pissed at you.” Kate snorted. “I
remember screaming at Mom that you didn’t even come to our house and there was
no way in hell you ever would. She patted my hand and told me to have faith,
just like dad. I still can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“Me neither,” Gemma said absentmindedly as she
walked toward the window, running her fingers along her comforter. Her phone
rang from her bag by the door, and she glanced at Kate with a look of sorrow,
loss, and fear. “Who is it?”

Kate walked to her bag and pulled out the
phone, a mix or anger and sadness crossing her face. “Him.”

“Give it to me.”

“Gem, I don’t think that’s a very good idea right
now.” Kate didn’t move toward her, so Gemma started back across the room.

“For starters, I asked you not to call me
that,” Gemma said in a near growl. “Secondly, if I don’t talk to one of them,
they will just keep calling. I have to deal with this.”

“Fine.” Kate walked toward her and handed over
the phone, which had started ringing again.

“Hello.” She stared into Kate’s eyes, not sure
if she was looking for strength, comfort, or a way out of what she had to do.

“Gemma, please don’t hang up.”

“I’m not, Abe.” She sat down on the edge of her
mattress. “Abe, I need you to stop calling.”

“Gemma, you have to listen to me. We have to
fix this.”

“No,” Gemma said, her voice so cold that even
Kate slightly recoiled, “
we
don’t have to fix anything. There is nothing
to fix. You already broke it. You broke
me.
”

“No, this can’t end. We’re supposed to be
together. We both know it. I don’t know what happened last night, but you are
it for me, Gem. I need you.”

She fought to keep from screaming at him when
he called her that and found her next words while her heart screamed at her to
keep her mouth shut. “Can you tell me you were wrong? That what happened last
night was all a misunderstanding? That it”—she choked on an escaped sob—“that
it didn’t happen?” She didn’t realize she had been holding out hope until she
asked the question. There was still a part of her heart that needed it all to
be a lie. She avoided Kate’s eyes, knowing her sister had to be picking up on
what she was doing: her desperate attempt to have him back and the part of her
that would even accept the lie in order to remove the ache that was tearing her
heart in two.

Gemma listened to the silence on the other end
of the phone. He hesitated. He didn’t deny; he didn’t defend. His silence spoke
volumes. Her heart ached with the silence. Each moment that passed meant her
heart was falling into shards that she knew she could never piece back together.
She had hidden images in the back of her subconscious of their life together,
of their college years, their wedding, and their family. She had one last
viewing before they disappeared, completely dissolving, and staying somewhere
between Emerald Isle and Durham. “Say something!” she screamed into the phone,
praying for the words she knew he couldn’t say. “Say something, damn it!”

“Gemma.” His voice broke and he heaved a sob.

“What?” She gasped as the pain ripped through
her anew. The lack of denial and the complete defeat in his voice broke her
again. She thought it could end so easily with one word of denial. What she
knew would haunt her for the rest of her life was affirmed with his silence.

“I love you so much.”

“No.” She sucked in her sob and tried to find
strength she was sure she no longer had to continue. “You can’t. People in love
don’t do what you did. People who claim love, maybe. But people who love,
value, cherish, yearn, and respect? Those people are faithful in mind
and
heart. That isn’t you. I know that now. I’m done.”

“Gemma, please.” The ache was so palpable in
his voice that she hesitated. It was only for a second, but she hated herself
for it nonetheless.

“I said I’m done.” Her hurt ripped through her,
taking her hope and faith with it. “You were my one, the only one I wanted and
would give everything up for. All those years of protecting myself. All that
time keeping the world at bay. How could you, Abe?”

“I—”

“Shut up.” She gulped, trying to catch her
breath, unable to listen to another word. “I won’t do this anymore. Leave me
alone. You are nothing to me anymore.” She ended the call and dropped her
phone, burying her face in her hands as the tears streamed through her fingers,
down her hands, and onto the bed. Her ache was palpable in the room, in the
house. No one was immune to the consequences. Everyone ached for both Gemma and
her future.

“Gemma,” Kate whispered as she approached, sitting on the bed and
causing Gemma to dip to the side with her weight. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Oh, Kate,” Gemma shook her head, still buried in her hands. “You
have no idea what is and isn’t going to be okay.” Gemma looked up at Kate,
knowing her eyes must have been as lost as she felt. “I gave him everything. I
let him take my entire heart and body and trusted that he’d cherish it and
protect it forever. It didn’t even take twenty-four hours for him to not only
disregard my heart but every ounce of trust I had given him.” Gemma let out a
sob but forced herself to continue. “I can’t take it back. Anything. The
moments he had me this summer are his now. My faith and trust . . . his.”

Kate simply stared at her. Something close to regret crossing her
own eyes. Gemma shook her head and then pulled Kate to her, hugging her sister
for what they had lost. For what they could never have again.

~~~

The rest of the summer passed in a
blur. Gemma pretty much stayed in bed or on the back deck. She didn’t read. She
would only text with her mother, ashamed with herself for bragging about
finding something when she should have known better. Kate did what she could
but eventually accepted that Gemma needed some time. Instead, Kate dedicated
herself to being around at all times for those rare moments when Gemma did want
to talk.

Emily, Ryan, and Simon all alternated calling a
few times a day. No one had heard from Abe since Gemma had hung up on him the
day everything fell apart. That was until the girls were eating dinner with the
family one night a week before it was time for Gemma to go back to school. The
dinners had just sort of happened, and Gemma was surprised that it actually
helped to sit around a table and pretend everything was okay. She still barely
acknowledged her father and Karen, but Gray and Kate always tried to keep the
conversation going.

They all heard Gemma’s phone ring, and no one
even reacted; she hadn’t been answering since they left the beach house. Moments
after it stopped ringing Kate’s started in. This usually meant it was one of
their friends, so again, no one moved. As soon as Kate’s stopped, however,
their father’s started. That got everyone’s attention. They all stared at him
as he stood and headed toward the counter where his phone sat. “Hello,” he
answered gruffly.

The group around the table watched anxiously as
his face began to redden. Karen began to stand in concern, and the others
shared a worried glance. “Listen, son, I don’t know what the hell you did, but
if you ever come near my daughter again, I will—”

Gemma was suddenly at his side, grabbing the
phone from his hand. “Abe?”

“Gemma, oh, thank God. I’ve been trying to
reach you. You have to talk to me. You have to forgive me. I can’t do this
without you.”

“Do what?”

“
Be.”

“That’s bull crap and you know it.” She let out
a sob as she was inundated with heartache all over again. “You cheated. You
threw us away for a few shots and a quick lay. Leave me alone, Abe. I’m serious.
I need you to stop. I can’t hear from you again. Tell Emily and Ryan and Simon
I said the same goes for them as well. I can’t think of you anymore, Abe. It
hurts so bad.”

“Gem,” he cried.

“Don’t,” she yelled and then tried to calm
herself. “Don’t call me that, and seriously, don’t call me again.” She ended
the call and looked for Kate, who was on her way over and immediately pulled
her into an embrace.

“It’s over,” Kate whispered, rubbing Gemma’s
back. “It’s all over.”

“I know.” Gemma sobbed. “It really is.”

~~~

Gemma’s mother showed up the next
Thursday evening. She was aware that something was off with Gemma based on her
behavior but couldn’t get out of her exactly what the issue was. Deciding it
was better to try to cheer her daughter up as opposed to asking a lot of
questions, she took Gemma to dinner and they stayed at a hotel that night. It
was their last night together before Gemma moved on and started the first phase
of her adult life. Her mother spent most of the evening telling Gemma stories
about her childhood. Gemma smiled when she was supposed to, laughed when
needed, and didn’t let a single tear escape for a solid sixteen hours.

Gemma fought to hide the truth of her short-lived
love life from her mother, but Maggie was far too astute for that. Early the
next morning, Maggie walked into the room with a large coffee, a chocolate chip
muffin, and a frown. “All right, tell me what’s going on, Gemma.”

“What do you mean?” Gemma furrowed her brow,
knowing she was busted but fighting tooth and nail not to have to admit to her
foolishness.

“Stop it. You may be trying to hide it, but I’m
your mother. I see everything.”

Gemma snorted but couldn’t quite bring herself
to speak. Her mother walked over and set the coffee on the bedside table before
sitting on the bed beside her daughter and pulling Gemma to her side. “What’s
the matter, baby?” The soothing voice, the feel of her mother’s fingers as they
worked through Gemma’s hair, and the still-consuming heartache won out, and
Gemma turned her head, burying it in her mother’s neck.

“He cheated.” She sucked in breath. “I was away
from him for an hour, and he went home with another girl, his first girlfriend,
who just happened to be small, perfect, and blond.”

“Oh, Gemma.” Her mother’s voice cracked on the
words as she pulled Gemma in tighter. “I’m so sorry.” Gemma didn’t respond. It
was too much. She had never planned to say these words to her mother, and Gemma
knew she was probably causing some kind of PTSD damage, just with this
conversation. “He doesn’t deserve you.” Maggie pulled back and looked into
Gemma’ eyes, pushing some hair behind her ear. “You’re going to be okay. You’re
strong, stronger than I ever was. You won’t let this define you.”

There was something so sure, so confident in
her mother’s words. Gemma only wished she felt the same way.

~~~

A few hours later, when they showed
up at the door of her dorm with her things, Kate was there to meet them. Surprisingly,
her mother got along well with Kate, especially after seeing how connected she
and Gemma seemed to be. The two had already made plans to live together when
Kate came to UNC the following year. There were certain perks to being a
renowned college professor’s daughter—one was off-campus living freshman year.

As the girls and Gemma’s mother moved her
things into the dorm, more than one guy took notice. Gemma tried to pretend
they were all looking at Kate, but some were just too obvious to deny. Her
inability to even maintain more than a couple seconds of eye contact or to feel
any flattery instead of the overwhelming dread their attention filled her with,
told her just how far she had to go in recovering. When Gemma was all settled,
the two women left, and Gemma was alone for the first time since Abe had
betrayed her. She hadn’t realized how delicate Kate and Gray had been with her
the past month until she spent her first ten minutes with no one nearby. Her
roommate was the quintessential sorority girl and would no doubt be spending a
lot of time at whatever house she joined or with whatever frat boy she hooked
first. That worked fine for Gemma. She wanted nothing more than to spend the
next year trying to forget about the last three months.