Blind Dating: (5 page)

I love my girls, I really do.  But, at 16, I know for a fact the last person they want to be sleeping with is their mother.  Especially with Megan.  Her antics were beyond my comprehension.  There was only one person she wanted to be sleeping with and that was clearly her boyfriend, Jacob.  I had caught them on the sofa a couple of times, and they did not look like they were just touching first base.  They looked like they wanted to touch all the bases.

So, then I was sitting waiting for the children to sleep.  It was not like the good old days, when you could shout go to sleep, turn the lights off and hear them screaming the night until they fell asleep.  They were now walking and talking, and teenagers! One thing about teenagers is they hate to sleep! I never understood that.  I understood when they were younger, they thought they were missing out on something, but as they grew older and realised, they were not missing anything, what was the desire to stay up.

My plan was be in bed by 9pm.  Set my alarm for 1am.  One thing about them, they did not understand the meaning of alarms.  They think they were invited to haunt teenagers.  I would often hear the words, they are not alarms, they are TTI, teenager torture instruments. Because, they were designed as an instrument to torture us, that was Hannah’s theory to every thing.  Including traffic lights, which was designed, to make children late for everything, including school?  I would often explain that they needed to get up earlier and stop missing the bus.  But, it would never be the cause of the problem, it was the traffic lights!

So, I start chatting to my new friends.  Not only chatting to the guys but getting friendly with them too.  It just gives me a new vest of life.  I start thinking things and doing things that I would not normally do and it feels so good.  Too good!

Since
, I started to chat on the chatroom and then it lead to joining the gym and actually working out.  I even went shopping after consulting a personal shopper.  I bought a few new clothes, nothing in excess, but a couple of dresses, and tops.  They make all the difference to my shape and size.  Going to the hairdressers once a week, I even started waxing.

So
Eric noticed, Mom, you have no hair on your legs.  Good to see the skin again, never thought it was possible.

Michael comes up behind me, surprises me as usual.  He is funny; he is my brother-in-law, Ryan’s, best friend.  Ryan introduced us and set us up on a date, it did not work.  Between having to work late that night, which meant I arrived at his apartment, 1 hour after I was due.  Which did not go well? So we tried again, this time, I had an accident on the way to his apartment.

We agreed, fate was keeping us apart, so we remain friends, and bump into each other only on special occasions.  Such as today.

Michael and Ryan went to the same school.  You would never believe it.  Michael was a cop and he had seen everything in his lifetime and his lifelines were showing.  Also, he was a divorcee with one daughter, which was probably the only reason Hannah and Megan, wanted us to get together, so they would have another girl in the family.

I do like Michael in another life, maybe who knows – but we both know it was not meant to be.  It is obvious.  The third time, his mother
turns up unexpectedly because she had a fight with her new husband, and decide to move into Michaels for a few days in order to cool off.

So, we are sitting there at dinner, in a candle light romantic meal that he has cooked.  He cooked a 3 course meal with a very ambitious dessert which I was dying to try.

He was forced to make the meal, a meal for 3 and not 2, like it was designed.  His mother insisted that I served hi m dinner, even though it was in his house. 

I served the salad, and she said I should eat her share, because I needed to eat more salad.

Then, I served the main course it was:

She insisted that I ate half of mine, gave him more, because her son was so skinny, then at my other half.  She stated I should be full up from the starter, and I had most of hers……so you can imagine what happened when we got to the dessert

We get to the dessert:

She gasps in horror, that I can not eat a single bite of that, insists on eating my half, and again, gives the other half to him.

He apologises for his Mom’s behaviour.  Then, at the end of the night, she asks what movie we want to watch.  I point out that I need to get home
OT the kids.

She shouts out – oh yes, you have so many, 6 isn’t it.

I say 3

She says once you go past 2 my dear, what difference does it make

I point out well; I have 3, so there is no 4, 5 or 6 that is the difference.

She says if it is not 6, then decides that I should stay and watch the movie.  There we are on the sofa next to each other, and she then decides to sit between us, and brings me a glass of water.  Instructs me to put the dishes in the dishwasher, quickly so that she can get the movie started, Gone with the Wind, her
all-time favourite.

I do not know what part bothered me more, his Mom’s attitude in general in the dark ages, or the fact that she was treating her son, like a baby boy.  He said nothing the whole time and it just put me off, completely.  I never revealed that to him, I just made out it was because of our bad luck in dating, but I did enjoy the movie.

The conversation changes to our Annual Summer vacation, I question “Really is it that time of year againSo, what are we going to do

N
o idea, Jennifer replies

Cannot think now, I am intoxicated, screams
Christine, jumping up and down.  She is right about one thing she is intoxicated.

Here come Mom and Dad. Mom, Dad, what are we doing for our Summer vacation

Pa replies, for 25 years, I had to figure it out not anymore, I am retired.

Secretly, I think to myself, Mom is right, this is
the mans answer to everything. I mean is that all he knew.  Then it dawned on me is this is going to happen to me, when the kids leave home.  That I will just be old and miserable.

I started to
shudder.

Jennifer and
Christine started to shake for exactly the same reason.  We find out afterthat we were all thinking exactly the same thing.  Normally, I would laugh but this was surely no laughing matter.

Mom screams out Barbados, I have always wanted to go.

I disagree, I think you should go with Pa as a romantic
getaway; she looks at Pa and says:

Barbados sounds romantic to me!

I look at her again, and say; OK we will note that down as one destination.  She said, please, please.

Who can resist that face?

Christine can – she replies, no Mom, you do not get to choose we all do.

Then she looks Pa straight in the eye and says – I did this 25 years ago, times have changed.

Pa looks at her unimpressed, and then starts hunting to eat his second round of hamburgers, or was it chicken.  It was just a mountain of meat.  He even took the Snapper, until he was told it was fish.  Then he proceeded to take the fish off his plate and placed it back on the tray for anyone else to choose.

Exclaiming
, I have never been a vegetarian, and I am not expecting to start now!

We all look at him and think, no wonder Mom does not want to go to Barbados, with you, she will be bored.  Then again, we look at Mom and think no wonder Pa does not want to go to Barbados with her, it works on both sides, that is why they are so compatible, and have been married for too long.

Before we know it it, is night time, but the party is in full swing.  Ryan and Jennifer put the kids to bed and then now it is adult time.  With the music, more alcohol and some good summer feeling.  Everyone is loving hearing the country music, followed by country music, then back to country music.

All I can think about is getting back home and writing to BadBoy-40 and lonelysingle. I have narrowed my friends down to 2.  One to deal with my sexual frustration and the other to possibly is a friend, we will see if it develops, who knows what the future will bring, the strangest thing, but I do get a bit of a tingle when I speak to lonelysingle.  Not sure what it is about him, maybe it is because he is shy and simply talks.  There is no agenda or obvious agenda, when we talk, whereas with BadBoy-40 it is obvious there is only one agenda.

This is getting impossible.  I cannot get any time to go on the chat room.  The children are getting more suspicious first it was only Hannah that was sleeping with me, now it is Hannah, Megan and Eric.  The other night Eric, called his cousin to come over.  I asked where, are they going to sleep – he says in bed with you?

I tell him my bed is not big enough

He says sure.

How is that possible when last night Megan fell off the
bed?

Then Megan points to the smallest spot on the bed, and declares, he can sleep here.

It
is just getting too much for me.  Or maybe I should just tell them then I will get them off my back. Maybe that is the best way to go forward. Talk to your children.  I plan to talk to them tonight.  They come home, we eat dinner, they watch a bit of television, then I turn the television off and then we talk.

Sounds like a plan.

I go
to work, stop at my regular coffee shop.  There Rodney is ordering his café late, asking if I want to stop and have a coffee with him.  If I do then, I may be a bit late.  But, hey what the heck after all it is Friday.  I need to let go once in a while.  OK, I say, why not?

We often bump into each other at the coffee shop, and after that day, when I managed to spill my coffee all over his nice Ralph Laurent suit, we promised that I would buy him a coffee.  Then, he said it was rude to leave him drinking the coffee by himself.  I thought that was the worst pickup line I had ever heard, and I had a few:

What do you want for breakfast? Because, you are coming home with me tonight

I have been looking at you all night.  I stopped him, and said keep on looking.

And the ultimate classic, Have I seen you somewhere before? Ah yes, you are Julia Roberts can I have your autograph.

Once, someone asked me for that, I a
ctually gave it to him.  He did not know what to say next.

I laughed all week. I knew exactly what he was after, and the worst part was he got himself into
a hole and had no idea how to get out of it.

So, we sit and catch up about the week.  I know, I know, so why not just officially start dating him.  The reason being, he is my coffee shop friend.  I do enjoy his company and I am sure he enjoys mine; otherwise he would not make requests.  Just I do not have many male friends, and feel it is good to have one at least.

More to the point, I do not have any friends, plural only one.  I am not sure what happened.  I went through my marriage and thought all I needed was Tom, then I went through my depression, then I went through my divorce, more depression, and then I finished with the divorce.  A bit better, but still going through depression.

It was all self-inflicted and this little exercise of the dating site was proving it.  I thought at least if nothing comes out of it, then I will have at least got a new body and self-confidence again.  How could a girl ask for more?

He says – I have been on holiday in Vancouver ski-in. Have you tried it?

Never

He continues to say – You should try it, you will love it.

But, I am not that fit, and I have been told, if you are not fit then you will not enjoy it.

He laughs – Do I look fit to you?

I laugh – far from it!

He says – Yes, it is true, if you are not fit, then it is hard going.  When, I go with my friends, they last on the slopes a lot longer than I do.  They are fit, and a lot smaller than me.  But, there is nothing more refreshing then being on the mountains in the snow. No distractions, no communication.  Just you out having fun.

Do you know what I mean?

I tell him – No, I do not, but you have got me thinking. The other day, I was thinking apart from the children, what else do I do - and I came up with a big fat zero.  So, when the kids were younger, I used to pick them up from school and I would meet the other Moms, and we would chat and have conversations.  Even at times, we would go to each other’s houses on the weekend so they could play together.  We would extend those conversations to cafes in coffee shops when it was cold outside, or a nice refreshing drink during the heat.