After The Snap (12 page)

He blinked twice, knowing that there was no way he could tell her the truth. The taunts had hurt. Yes, he was gay, but his liking guys had nothing to do with being on the field. Sure, he’d played ball with some cute guys who turned him on, and there were some downright hot guys he’d seen in the locker room, but he kept the two things separated, except for Channing. That was the only real mix-up, and he’d suffered regret after regret for that mistake.

Tina lifted her brows and her eyes grew wide. He probably looked stupid standing there without answering so he smiled and nodded slowly.

“Tina, a lot goes through your mind when you’re on the field. Pinpointing one little thought in a game is hard. Playing for the Chargers is a dream come true. I want to thank the coaches, the general manager, the owners of the team for believing in me, and my mom and dad for giving me the strength to play at this level. Just being able to be here is enough. Thank you Tina, have a great evening.”

Seth stepped over to the next reporter, chatting with him before the cameras started to roll. It was basically the same thing, and in minutes he was done. He showered quickly, dressing in the suit he’d worn to the stadium. Exhaustion held him, leaving him wondering if he would even be able to stay awake long enough to eat. On his way home he half wished he’d taken a cab, maybe next time. When he pulled into his spot in the parking garage, he wasn’t sure if he could walk. Another resident saw him as he crossed over to the elevator and called out their congratulations on his win. He waved, thanking the guy as he stumbled into the elevator. On the ride up, he stayed standing upright because he knew they had cameras and didn’t want a video of him dropping to his knees to surface on the internet. Once he made it into the privacy of his condo, he dropped his bags to the floor in the entryway and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. His first game was over and he’d won. A pulse of satisfaction ripped through him. He’d done it. He wanted to shout and scream, instead he danced a little jig, then began undressing.

Seth stripped off his tie first, then his shirt. He pushed his pants low and kicked off his shoes, tossing his socks across the room. He stared around his apartment, taking in the black furniture that he’d bought, the sleek kitchen, and the small pieces of art he’d purchased the day after he’d moved in. He’d really done it. He was an NFL quarterback. This wasn’t some fantasy or make believe world. This was his reality.

Seth started jumping up and down, his dick bobbing as he skipped, hopped, and bounced through his place. Excitement sizzled through him and for a second he wished he had someone to fuck because he was getting hard. Once he was near the couch, he reached down, cupping his balls as he laughed and cheered, waving his other arm around, his hand fisted. He’d won his first professional game in the regular season. Excited didn’t even come close to how he felt. He wanted to do a cartwheel, but he wasn’t sure he had the room. Instead, he lounged on the sofa and stroked his cock, closing his eyes, reliving the experience. He’d done it. He’d won.

Thoughts of Channing invaded his mind and he pushed them away, but he didn’t have a guy to conjure up as he masturbated. He needed someone else as a sexual partner just so he didn’t think of Channing as he jerked off, and he damn sure wasn’t going to think of any of the guys he played ball with.

Seth grabbed some tissues from the box beside the couch just before he came. After he finished, he relaxed, staring at his empty room. Some masochistic part of him half wished Channing would call. Not that he wanted to go back with the guy, but dammit, he wished he had someone to hold right now.

During the rest of the day he ignored the news stations, talk radio, everything extolling his virtues. He spent Monday relaxing, doing some light stretching, and catching up with the coaches and other players. People he’d played with in high school and college sent him congratulations via email or text. He chatted with his mom and dad, blushing when his parents congratulated him.

The one bother of the day was Channing had remained silent. They were over, but for some sick reason he wanted a text or a call congratulating him on his win. It was a big thing winning his first NFL game. When Tuesday rolled around and Channing hadn’t even sent an email, Seth decided to head to a bar, a gay bar, just to try things out. He was positive nothing would happen, but he needed something other than the Ghosts of Channing to fuel his fantasies.

Chapter Seven

Colby’s day had been tough. Work was getting difficult with the impending move, and to add to his misery, Neil was still sending him emails at least once a week. Since breaking up, he hadn’t dated or slept with anyone else. Maybe it was time to get back out there, but he hadn’t wanted to get into anything in Atlanta and he wasn’t really prepared to go fucking around after work in San Diego. However, with the added stress of the move, and the lonely feelings swimming around his head, he wanted someone to touch, maybe kiss, and if he could hold them tight, that would be even better.

He’d finished his meetings early enough that he had time to grab some food and then what? Maybe he’d go find a movie, but he didn’t want to sit for that long, he wanted more than getting off alone in his hotel room, but picking up someone for one night would be weird since he hadn’t done it in years. One thing he was certain of was that he didn’t want to pick up a trick, he wanted someone who was maybe in the same boat, another lonely guy who wanted to mess around. Maybe he was being impossible, but he didn’t want to deal with emotions, or needy guys, but he also didn’t want to pay.

On his way to grab something to eat, Colby saw what had to be a gay bar. The idea played at the back of his mind all through his meal. If he stopped at the bar, that wouldn’t mean he had to do anything. He could leave if it seemed weird or if the crowd wasn’t his style. It wasn’t like he had anything to lose except for a few dollars on cover and beer.

On the way back to the hotel, he passed the bar and saw a few cars in the lot. The urge to stop was there, but he shrugged off the desire and rolled on by, deciding that going back to the hotel would be the wise thing. He wasn’t ready to go pick up a stranger in a bar, not yet. For some reason, he wanted a wingman, or just a friend, someone to help him navigate the flirting and playing, and maybe keep him from doing something stupid since it had been a while.

Colby drove into the hotel parking lot and cut the engine. He sat in the car, staring out the front windshield before pulling out his phone to check his email. He was stalling. The thought of the club, the hot guys—hell, actually any guy would do, and that’s why he didn’t go to the club. He was afraid that he would make a bad decision.

He scanned his emails, groaning when he saw one pop up from work. Then Neil’s name came up on the screen. He had another email from his ex, another load of crap probably. He opened the email, reading the first line and realized it was the same shit as always. Neil wanted Colby back, would change, wasn’t seeing Deshaun any longer, would be faithful. But the promises left Colby feeling empty and no matter how comfortable he felt with Neil, he couldn’t do that to himself knowing that Neil would most likely cheat again.

Colby stared out the front windshield and slowly shook his head. Neil was impossible and so was his situation. He couldn’t live this way. Not even trying to be with someone else would leave him open to Neil’s begging. He was strong, but not that strong, and he really wanted sex. He wanted to touch, to feel, to have another body slamming into his as he cried out when he came. The shared intimacy, even if only imagined, was something he craved. Maybe he was weak and it shouldn’t matter, but it did. Sure he could use his hand, but he wanted more, and no matter how many faults Neil had, the man was a sure thing. All he had to do was fly home, call Neil, and he’d be covered in sweat, balls deep, head thrown back while having an orgasm as he pressed his chest against another hot body. And though he knew it would be a lie, he could at least pretend Neil cared.

His heart ached and he squeezed his head, massaging his temples before dropping his hands to his lap. No question about it, he and Neil would get very busy and have loads of fun. But could he subject himself to that again? Neil had told him lie after lie, promising him that he was the only one. He had no illusions that any guy he picked up and fucked at the club would be a one-time thing, but at least he knew going into the club whatever guy he hooked up with tonight wouldn’t give a shit about him in the morning. There would be no reason for him to lie, no overriding desire to keep secrets. Chances were, anyone he picked up at the club was already cheating on his wife, or significant other, but that didn’t matter because he would never see the dude again. God, he was a twisted fuck. Maybe it would be best to go back to Neil. In his own way, Neil cared, but that really wasn’t enough for Colby, not anymore.

He looked at the email from Neil again and started the engine on his rental. Colby swung by a store on the way over to the club and picked up a box of condoms. He slipped two into his pocket before stepping out of the car. Maybe two was presumptuous, but he really wanted to fuck or be fucked.

There wasn’t a cover for the bar since it was a week night. The place wasn’t hopping and he didn’t see anyone he was interested in. After grabbing a bottle of beer, he sat at a high top table in the corner and out of the way. Watching the guys strut around was entertaining, but none of them made him want to get up off the stool and say hello. He ordered another beer and decided that he could take a cab home if he drank too much, though that was highly unlikely.

He sipped his beer slowly as he observed guys hooking up and heading to the bathroom. A part of him wished he could get up from the stool and just grab anyone. God, he wanted to have sex, but something was holding him back. He needed the contact with another, so what if this wasn’t his usual thing, he wanted a hot body. It was dark in the place and no one could really see that much so his dark skin color wouldn’t be a problem. Also, most guys in California, even the cute blonde surfers, were close to his skin color. Out here he’d look like just another tanned beach bum only without the blond hair. This wasn’t Georgia where race played into everything, this was California where no one would care that his mom wasn’t white.

Colby was about ready to find anyone willing to get busy when the door opened and a tall guy wearing a ball cap with the bill pulled low entered the place. A pulse of desire ripped through Colby and he shivered before settling in his seat. The guy’s arms were built, his chest broad. He was sex walking and everyone in the bar noticed but pretended not to look. This man would be enough for him to get off his chair, but did he have the balls to do it?

Chapter Eight

Seth knew it was a mistake coming here, but he wanted to feel. He missed being with Channing. No, that was a lie, what he missed was holding another man. He saw plenty of naked men in the locker room, hell, he saw way too much of a few guys he never wanted to see at all, but watching porn and the casual glance in the locker room was no longer enough. He needed a real man with a pulse, warmth, and maybe even a cute smile, but God, at this point he’d take almost anything.

He felt their stares, saw their glances as he walked in, but he didn’t think anyone recognized him. The cab he’d taken from home had dropped him a few blocks away at a restaurant and he’d walked over. If his car had been parked out front, someone might recognize it, or maybe a photo would be taken, some dude doing a selfie or something like that, then his license plate would be splashed across the internet and people would wonder what he was doing at a gay bar. That was the last thing he needed.

Maybe coming here was crazy. If someone found out, he’d make up a lie. He was here for a friend’s party, or maybe he was supporting a friend.

His heart pounded as he ordered his beer but he played it cool. After taking a swig, he found a table in the back where the lighting was low. He was halfway done with his beer, knowing he was going to strike out, when a cute young man in a button down shirt with the top button popped open stepped up to his table, two beers in his hands.

“You look like you want to be alone, and if you don’t want me here, I’m fine with that, but if you’re open for it, how about another beer?”

The man’s gaze met his and he felt the corners of his mouth tugging up. Seth liked this guy, but he didn’t need a boyfriend, just someone to fuck. Boyfriends brought complications he couldn’t deal with.

“So tell me, what do you expect for this beer?” Seth asked.

“Nothing, really, it’s not—I’m bad at this, I just wanted…” the guy trailed off and glanced away. With the shitty lighting Seth couldn’t tell if the man’s cheeks were turning pink or not, but he did look a little embarrassed.

“Do you watch football?” Seth asked.

The guy shook his head and frowned. “No, I’m just not into sports. It’s not that I can’t stand them, but God, they’re boring to watch. Is that going to be a problem?”

“Not at all,” Seth said. He pushed the stool next to his out and nodded. “Take a seat. My name is Seth.”

“I’m Colby.”

Colby sat on the stool, taking a drink of his beer before he met Seth’s gaze. This time Seth saw the subtle blush under dark skin.

“Tell me, Colby, why did you come here?” Seth watched as Colby swallowed and then bit his lower lip. It was sexy as hell, and he wanted those lips on him immediately. Before Colby could speak, Seth grabbed his chin and leaned in, pressing his mouth over Colby’s, brushing gently over the soft, pillowy pout.

Though the bar was loud, the music drowning out most of the sounds, he could hear, or maybe just feel, Colby moan. The vibration shot straight to Seth’s cock and he stood, grabbing Colby’s hand. Maybe fucking in the bathroom was wrong, but he needed to do something with this guy.

Colby didn’t move, but he did squeeze Seth’s hand. “Not the bathrooms. I have a hotel not too far from here—I mean, that is…” Colby’s gaze met his and heat flooded Seth.

“Yeah, let’s go to your hotel.” Seth’s head was buzzing and his cock throbbing. He fucking wanted this guy so much it hurt. Channing had been his only partner so far, but now he wanted to change that.

Colby stood and Seth moved at the same time, towering over Colby, their bodies close. Colby glanced up, his head tilted at an angle that made Seth pause as he stared down at the beautiful man. This guy was freaking sexy and Seth’s dick was hard and ready. He put his fingers under Colby’s chin and tilted his face up. This was much more intense than he thought it would be when he’d decided to fuck around with some stranger he met at a bar. Colby blinked twice and Seth’s heart squeezed. He lowered, covering Colby’s lips with his. Their bodies brushed against each other and Colby’s arms came around his back.

He felt Colby’s shiver and heard the groan. This was going to be fun, and he was going to enjoy having sex with this guy. He ended the kiss and straightened, loving the near lost look on Colby’s face before he shook his head and drew in a quick breath.

“Let’s head out,” Seth said.

“Sure.” Colby held his hand as he led him out of the bar and to a car parked close to the entrance.

“Were you at that place for long?” Seth laughed.

Colby laughed. “Kind of.”

Seth sunk into the passenger seat and strapped in. Colby didn’t take much time to start driving, heading away from the restaurant where Seth had been dropped off. He drew in a slow breath, letting his gaze rake over Colby. The guy was freaking sexy and there wasn’t any way he’d sat there for hours without being picked up. “Already had sex tonight?”

“No, I was…um…waiting I guess.”

“For me?” Seth teased.

Colby glanced at him as he slowed for a light. “Perhaps. Maybe I was waiting for someone interesting enough to get off that stool.”

Seth smiled and pulled his cap lower. He didn’t think this guy had any idea who he was, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to chance having someone else see him and figure out he was in the car with some dude he’d just met, ready to do some kinky sex stuff just to get off.

They pulled into the parking lot of a fairly nice Marriott and Colby cut the engine. “Believe it or not, I’ve never done this before—you know, picked up a stranger at a bar.”

“Really?” Seth asked.

“No, never.”

“You still okay with this?” Seth didn’t want to force the guy into doing anything he wasn’t comfortable with, but he would be disappointed if he was sent packing without having some fun.

“Heck yes I want to do this, I just don’t know how to get up to my room with you. I mean, you’re not registered here as a guest.”

“No one will say a thing,” Seth said.

“You do this much?” The light in the parking lot illuminated Colby’s face, revealing disappointment.

Seth reached out and touched Colby’s leg, smoothing his hand from mid thigh to his knee. “Actually, this is embarrassing.”

Colby lifted his brows. “You do this all the time?”

“No, I’ve—” Seth laughed as he squeezed Colby’s leg. “I’ve only ever had sex with one other guy. There was this girl a long time ago, but it wasn’t…hell, we were in high school and well, it was awkward to say the least.”

“Oh.” Colby covered Seth’s hand with his. “I’ve only really been with a couple of guys and I’ve never picked anyone up like this. I already said that, didn’t I?”

“I’m nervous too. How about we just get out of the car and walk into the lobby then go up the elevator?”

“Okay.” Colby nodded.

“What floor are you on?” Seth asked.

“Four.”

“Okay, we’ll get out of the car, is there anything you need to grab?”

Colby looked over his shoulder and then met Seth’s gaze. “Um, a bag of condoms.”

Seth laughed. “You were either hopeful or confident.”

“Neither, just always prepared.”

“I like that. I only have two condoms on me.”

Colby’s eyes widened. “Do you think we’ll use more than two.”

Seth popped open his door and stepped out, Colby did too after reaching in the back for the bag of condoms. They both looked at each other and smiled.

“I sure as heck hope we use more than two.” This time it was obvious Colby’s cheeks had turned pink. “Come on, let’s head inside and act normal.” Seth pulled his cap lower and walked in front of Colby, stepping inside, acknowledging the desk worker with a nod. He didn’t look back at Colby once as he headed to the left, following the sign that pointed out the elevators. He pressed the button to call the elevator and stared up at the indicator, acting like heading into a hotel with a total stranger to have sex was nothing big.

The elevator doors opened and they both stepped in. Colby pressed the button for four, and Seth pressed the button for five. They didn’t say a word or touch as the elevator rose. He worried that he was making a big mistake. Colby couldn’t overpower him, but he could easily overpower Colby, not that he would.

Memories of the first time he’d had sex with his ex came back. He’d been so very young then, maybe not in years, but in maturity. It was hard to believe that it had only been a year ago that he’d first been with Channing. His broken heart squeezed. Could he actually do this with someone other than Channing?

The elevator doors opened and he glanced to Colby. The guy was sexy, that was for sure. Smaller than he, the man was tight, compact with some muscles under his button down shirt. He’d felt them when they’d been close, and he’d felt them on Colby’s legs when Seth had touched him in the car.

Colby glanced up, his gaze full of warmth. Seth wasn’t making a mistake at all. Maybe they’d fuck once and be done, maybe they would spend the night in each other’s arms, or maybe they’d kiss and they wouldn’t feel it and he’d head home.

Having only Channing as experience left him a little afraid. What if he wasn’t really into guys, just Channing? He thought about the excitement he’d felt when Colby had brought over a beer for him and knew there was something between them, but what?

Colby stopped at room four fifteen and held the card in his hand for a second before sliding it into the reader. Colby glanced over his shoulder, uncertainty shining in his eyes. Seth checked down the hall, making sure they were alone before entering behind Colby.

If this were he and Channing, he’d be tugging at his clothes, trying to strip fast enough to please his ex, but this guy looked worried, and he didn’t want to scare him. Once the door was closed, both of them in the room together, Seth leaned against the door, crossing his arms over his chest.

Colby stepped into the room and flipped on a lamp before going to the window to close the curtains. They were on opposite sides of the room, Seth staring at Colby and Colby looking back at him. His heart was filled with something more than just lust. Being here, alone with this stranger, felt better than being with Channing ever had. He stepped deeper into the room, stopping when he came even with the edge of the bed. A white blanket covered the king sized bed and six pillows lined the top. It looked comfortable, and he would have fun making sure they both got what they wanted. Seth turned to face Colby, lust pumping hot.

“Come here,” Seth said.

Colby swallowed and stepped closer, sinking his teeth into his lower lip. His arms were crossed over his chest and he looked unsure, but under his uncertainty, lust appeared to burn hot. Seth reached out and smoothed one finger over the front of Colby’s shirt. He popped one button, then another, excitement zinging through him.

“Mmm, so sexy,” Seth groaned.

Colby lowered his arms and Seth finished unbuttoning the shirt, pushing it over Colby’s shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. He ran his palm over the undershirt covering the flat planes of Colby’s chest, before brushing over his nipples.

“God, you’d be so freaking sexy in shorts or cutoffs, white T-shirt on, while you washed a car, the water from the hose soaking you. I bet your skin would show through so beautifully.” Seth rasped his thumbs over Colby’s nipples loving the way Colby opened his mouth and threw his head back, his eyes rolling up into his head.

Seth tugged at Colby’s undershirt, pulling it over his head. He stared down at Colby’s beautiful torso, knowing that he wanted to lick every inch of his chest. He stepped closer and cupped Colby’s cheeks, tilting his head back. A surge of lust and power filled him as he lowered his lips, brushing gently over Colby’s mouth. Colby opened and Seth slipped his tongue between Colby’s lips, dipping in for his first taste of the guy. They both moaned, the vibrations filling him. He wanted to push Colby up against the wall, strip him and sink in, taking his pleasure.

The kiss ended but he didn’t pull away, instead a memory teased him, pulling at the back of his mind. He realized that he was the dominate one of the two, the one who had the power and it scared him that he wanted to take advantage of having the upper hand, to possess instead of treasure. But that wasn’t what he really wanted, not deep down. He wanted something more equal with this man, sharing power instead of one of them being in the dark and forced to comply. No, he wanted balance.

Channing had lorded over him in the beginning and it wasn’t until Seth signed with a pro team had Channing showed him any respect. He didn’t want that, even with this sexy stranger who had no clue who he was or what he did for a living. Seth stepped back, and smiled when Colby complained.

“More, don’t go.” Colby’s fingers twisted in Seth’s shirt as he tugged him close again.

“Just a second, I want this gone.” Seth tugged off his T-shirt, tossing it to the bed.

Colby gasped, “Oh my God, you’re cut. Holy shit, you could be a model.”

Seth chuckled, a little embarrassed by the attention. Colby reached out, his hand shaking as he smoothed one finger over Seth’s pec and down his ribs.

“You must work out every day. Of course you do, you don’t get muscles like that with occasional trips to the gym.”