Zombie Pink (28 page)

She knew
one thing, though. He look
ed pissed.

Then he swallowed...noticeably...and asked, "Where's my wife?"

Right on cue, they heard snarling noises coming from below.

Andrea told him what was going on in the basement. Of course, he had
to go see for himself.
Afterwards, he sprinted back up the stairs and announced, "MOVE OUT!"

Andrea thought he sounded like an army sergeant.

"What about our friend?" Drew asked him.

"She's involved in it!" he announced, like it was an inarguable
fact.

"What the hell does that mean?" Lisa asked.

"It means she's one of the fucked-up crazies!" he barked
, sounding disgusted. "She already has her zombie make-up on!"

"I wanna see!" Lisa whined.

Suddenly, a particularly loud growl emanated
from the basement.

Then someone was banging furiously on Andrea's
back door.

"Don't go back down there!" Mr. Sexy Jogger snarled.

The super loud crack of a pistol rang out. The shot sounded like it was coming right from the patio.

Andrea screamed. She couldn't help it
. It
was strictly involuntary.

"LET’S GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!" Drew cried, as they all scrambled out the front door and raced through the damp grass, heading toward
the street.

"What the hell..." Andrea said.

"Hey! Some ass-wipe let the air out of my tires!" Lisa
exclaimed, running over to her Ford Focus.

The tires were also slashed on Drew and Patty's cars.

"That's weird..." Drew said. "Who the hell would do that?"

"Same thing happened to my Kia," Mr. Sexy Jogger reported
. "Anyway, we don't have time to stand around here
speculating
. But if you ask me, these slashed tires prove this whole thing is fake. Did you ever hear of real zombies slashing tires?”

No one said anything.

I never heard of real zombies, period
! Andrea thought.

But she didn't say those words out loud because she didn't want to sound "flip"

“I didn’t think so,” he concluded
. “I suggest we keep moving."

Once on Lamplighter, they followed Mr. Sexy Jogger's lead, heading
left towards Heathcliff. Thunder and gun shots echo
ed all around
in the distance.

"I can't believe Patty is involved in a zombie cult!" Drew exclaimed.

"I know!" Andrea agreed.

But is she
?
Andrea secretly wondered.

Andrea wished she could just stop moving and digest everything that
happened. But
she couldn't do that
. Mr. Sexy Jogger
was moving at a super fast
pace. Probably because he jog
ged all the time.

Andrea didn't want to make him any more angry than he already seemed to be
.
Although she had to admit; she did find his take-control attitude sort of sexy.

Apparently, Lisa agreed.

"What's your name, handsome?" Lisa asked him in this annoying breathless voice.

She was acting like they were at some sort of cheesy singles club
.

"Oh brother," Andrea muttered under her breath.

"Roger," he replied.

His tone was very curt...not flirty at all.

Roger
!
His name is Roger
! Andrea thought
.
I don't have to think of him as Mr. Sexy Jogger any more.

Andrea thought that Roger was a cool name
. Classic and sort of rugged
...it suited
him. He definitely d
idn't
look like a Justin or a Zack. But Roger...that
was
perfect.

Suddenly, Lisa announced, "I have to call my dad!"

"Tell him to lock the doors and don't let anyone in," Roger instructed.

Lisa's Dad didn't pick up the phone, so Lisa relayed
Roger's message on her dad's voice mail. Lisa ha
d a soft spot for her dad which always surprised Andrea since it totally went against her friend's bitchy self-centered nature.

After rounding a sharp curve in the road, the group stumbled
upon a short bald headed guy with his arm looped protectively around a young girl. The girl
was dressed very skimpily and wasn't
wearing any shoes.

The couple was heading in the same direction as Roger and the girls, and didn't appear to be infected or involved in any zombie cult.

"Aloha! I'm Nick, and this is my partner in crime, Gina!" the bald headed guy greet
ed them.

He acts like we're meeting on some beach in Hawaii, and don't have a care in the world
! Andrea thought, incredulously. "
What an asshole
!"

"I'm Roger, and this is..." Roger began
.

Then he stopped, looking around at the rest of them.

"Hell, I don't even know your names," Roger said.
“Although, I don’t know if names are really important right now.”

"I'm Lisa," Lisa jumped
in, slowly drawing her name out and pointing at her chest. Then she quickly add
ed
, "And this is Drew and this is Andrea. Oh! And that was Patty...the one we left behind."

"Andrea...." Roger said, looking right into Andrea's eyes.

Andrea felt herself blushing; turning the color of the pink rash that had been all over Mimi's skin.

"Can you believe this shit?" Nick exclaimed, sounding happier than anyone had a right to be considering the monstrous circumstances they currently found themselves
in. "The God
damned apocalypse! Hey, Lisa! Shit! Imagine meeting you here!"

"Oh my God, Nicky!" Lisa squealed, like he was her long-lost friend instead of the guy she had dubbed The Bald Headed Creep. "I hope you brought that SD card with my pictures on it!"

Andrea sighed and rolled her
eyes.

Lisa had to be the most shallow person on earth.

"One of our best friends is probably being murdered right this very second, and all you can think about are your dumb modeling pictures?" Andrea exploded.

"You guys know each other?" Gina asked Nick
. "What does she mean
... SD card?"

"Oh, it's nothin’ babe!" Nick assured her, giving Lisa a lewd wink.

"I remember you from high school," Drew told
Gina. "You were in that play..."

"Le Mis
!" Gina exclaims. "I played
Cosette!"

“Okay, sorry to break up the happy reunion here,” Roger said, sounding pissed.

"Where are you guys headed?" Nick asked.

"Over to Route seventy-six," Roger answered
. "Maybe we can find some answers... get some help. We'll head over to the strip mall, by Maybelline’s. Some people might
be
congregating there. You never know."

"Holy shit! The
freakin apocalypse!" Nick exclaimed
. "Zombies, of all things...I would have thought it would be World War
three
, not World War Z! When I saw this old fart pressed up against my window with those eyes...man, those eyes...."

"Oh, I bet that was Old Man Barnaby!" Gina declared cheerfully
.

Then to Roger, Gina exclaimed
, "I know you! You live right down the street from me! You were in my front yard and some zombie woman was eating your wife...I'm sorry I couldn't let you in, my parents said..."

"Yea, well let's just cut the bullshit right now!” Roger interrupted
her. “It's a fake apocalypse. That wasn't a real zombie. It was a woman wearing make-up. But there's enough of these assholes around to present a real danger, that's for sure. My wife is actually in on it. She's one of them."

"YOUR WIFE!" Gina cried
. "W
HAT
? H
OLD THE REINS
! S
O YOU THINK THESE AREN'T REAL ZOMBIES?"

"Hell no!" Roger declared.

"How do we find out anything?" Andrea asked
. "We can't get through to anywhere...."

"They're talking about it on the news," Roger cut in
, adding a disbelieving snort. "Like it's real."

"Yea! They call them pink zombies!" Gina add
ed, hugging her
frilly nightie. "Their skin turns pink!"

Andrea recalled
Mimi and her weird ugly pink rash. Then
she shivered.

Is this real or not real
?
she wondered.
And how do you know for sure
?

"We should stay together... all of us!" Gina decided
. "There's safety in numbers, you know."

Then to Nick, she added
, “Look. He has a gun.”

“I can see that, babe,” Nick replied, with a sheepish grin.

"What if it is real?" Drew suddenly asked
. "What if it really is a virus?"

"Then it's supposed to happen!" Nick boomed
. "A virus is God's way of leveling the playing field! Only the strongest and the smartest will survive!"

"It's not a virus!" Roger argued
. "Why would a virus suddenly spread this quickly?"

"It happened with the plague and it happened with Ebola in Africa," Nick replied in a matter of fact voice. “Hey man, mind if we tag along?"

"It's up to you," Roger responded, not sounding particularly thrilled with the idea.

Nick and Gina fell into step with the rest of the group as they headed towards Heathcliff Avenue.

"Why are you guys wearing blue gloves and glow stick jewelry?" Gina asked
, clinging to Nick like a second skin.

Nick didn't seem to mind Gina's possessive clinginess
. He caresse
d the young girl's back like she was some sort
of pet.

"For safety reasons," Andrea explained mysteriously.

"Glow stick jewelry for safety reasons?" Gina asked, wrinkling her cute button nose.

"No. The gloves are for safety reasons. Geez!"
Andrea huffed.

And Lisa thinks I act young
?
Andrea asked herself
.

The rain that had begun as a very fine drizzle was now lustfully dripping down in a more moderate, steady fashion.

"Oh shit, my extensions are getting wet!" Lisa whined
. "These things cost
a fortune! I don't know what happens when they get wet. All the bounce might come out."

"Oh my God!" Andrea complained
. "I can't believe you're worried about hair extensions at a time like this
"

"Well these might be the only hair extensions I'll ever have!" Lisa cried out, like that was the biggest crisis she could possibly imagine
. "They'll have to last me for the whole rest of the apocalypse!"

"You should be glad it's raining,” Gina commented
. “That means no mosquitoes. My family saw a special report on the news. This doctor from the CDC, Jose something, well he said that you have to avoid getting bitten by a mosquito because the virus can spread that way."

"Yea, well here's a problem," Drew stated
, always the logical one. "After it rains, everything will be really wet. Mosquitoes love moisture. So we'll have to stay away from the woods
.
"

Andrea remembered seeing Gina at the pool that summer wearing a white bikini that turned
see-through when it got wet.
She also recalled middle-aged guys from the neighborhood gawking at Gina and practically salivating with their wives and kids sitting right next to them.

"It's sorta windy, too," Gina added
. "That's good because the wind will blow the mosquitoes away! Ouch! Stepped on a stone! I don't mind being barefooted, though. I'm like a little Indian.
He
y.
Are any of you pregnant?"

"Ha!" Lisa laughed. "Not that I know of!"

“That’s a weird question,” Drew said.

"Because there was this guy on TV...he did this mosquito research," Gina explained
. "And he said that mosquitoes like pregnant women."

There was
an awkward moment of silence.

Are we supposed to take this girl seriously
? Andrea wondered.

"Oh! And he also said that mosquitoes like you more if you've been drinking beer," Gina add
ed.

"Uh-oh..." Andrea said.

"We're fucked!" Lisa exclaimed.

"Especially you, Lisa," Drew pointed out.

"Okay, well let's not get too silly here," Roger cut
in. "This has nothing to do with mosquitoes or beer. Trust me! I do however think you should stop talking so much, because it’s slowing us down. This isn’t a party!"