Zenith Rising (27 page)

“Get out.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know until yesterday. I
don’t know how the hell it could’ve happened. I was careful with
her. I swear to God. I’m always careful.”

She suddenly came at him. Quiet, composed,
classy Erica, came flying at him. He was so startled by suddenly
seeing her body being launched at him, it momentarily took him off
guard. Reacting in seconds, he caught her wrists in his hands and
restrained her as she tried to pummel his chest.

“You could have told me yourself! Instead,
you humiliated me! Blindsided me. Is this what you wanted all
along? To jerk me around? Humiliate me because you think I’m too
successful? Too rich? Too snobby? Too… whatever? Was this your true
intent?”

“No.
God no.
Nothing like this. She
told me yesterday. When I left here, I wasn’t thinking. Or feeling.
I just left. I was in a blind rage. I do that kind of thing pretty
often, Erica. I forget… everything and everyone around me. That’s
one reason why I warned you to stay away from me. I got drunk to
forget it. You can’t actually believe I want this. At all! Jesus! I
didn’t tell you because I couldn’t believe it myself.”

“I came in there as her damn doctor, her
baby doctor
. To find you sitting there, the father of her
child? How could you do that to me? You’re everything you warned me
about, aren’t you? Selfish. Mean. Cruel. Cold. Did you get some
kind of perverse satisfaction from that?”

“Not from you. I’m telling you this was not
on purpose. I didn’t do any of this on purpose.”

“Why are you here? Why not run the other
way?”

“Because she said it was mine. I have to
know.”

“And what? You’ll man up and take
responsibility if it is? Because let me tell you there’s a
ninety-five percent chance she’s telling the truth. There hasn’t
been anyone else with her.”

“Yeah. I’ll take responsibility. What else
would you have me do? What did you think I’d do?”

She quit moving and took a deep breath. “Not
that. Okay. Not that. Take responsibility. But I guess I’m glad of
that, at least. You’d do that.”

She turned from him and her slender shoulders
seemed to shake, then relax, as she inhaled several deep
breaths.

“What was all that? In there with Tamira?
What’s wrong with her, Erica? She’s all giddy about this. Crazy.
She thinks somehow we’re in love or something like it. Why are you
so sure she hasn’t slept with any other guys?”

“Because I know her. Tell you what, Spencer,
get her to sign a release and I can talk to you.”

He watched Erica before he finally asked,
“You knew something was off with her. That’s why you kept warning
me about her, isn’t it?”

“Yes. I did. I do. And you know what’s worse?
I personally hate her right now, and I could spit nails at her; but
I also know what’s wrong with her, and therefore, I have to help
her. I have to take care of her.”

“Erica…”

She looked up with daggers in her eyes and
threw off the hand he put on her arm. “Just let me get through
this. Just do that for me. Back off. I have to do my job. That girl
needs me because she’s not well and looks to me for guidance. So
you’re not the one I get to care about right now. Or worry
about.”

He stepped back and Erica turned around and
headed out of her office. Spencer’s gut felt twisted. He felt bad,
no, terrible for Erica. And confused, and all worked up over Tamira
and her unexpected pregnancy. He began to worry how warped Tamira’s
thinking really was.

Spencer followed Erica into the examination
room. Tamira was dressed in one of the baby blue gowns, with the
long slit in the front. She failed to notice it offered everyone a
long, wide view of her naked front. Then she climbed onto the exam
table, still smiling absently. As if Erica wasn’t the person she
really was. Tamira smiled even wider when Spencer came in. He
didn’t know what to do or say. He decided it was better to just
play along right then with Tamira’s fantasy. He stood against the
door.

Erica started asking questions. Her voice
seemed detached, but warm. Impersonal, but nice. When she asked
Tamira about her last period, Spencer quickly did the math. They
last slept together about two months before. So Tamira had to be at
least that far along.

“Should I leave?” Spencer asked, desperate
for Erica’s permission when she said she was ready to start the
physical exam.

“Oh no. Please stay, Spencer,” Tamira said.
“Please, I want you involved with everything.”

Spencer didn’t want to be involved in
anything. But he stayed. He watched Erica stand up and use a tape
measure on Tamira’s belly. What was she doing? She felt all around
Tamira’s stomach. Then she turned between Tamira’s legs, rolling
the stool closer.

“Slide your bottom to the end of the table.”
Erica’s voice was cool and gentle and Spencer became fascinated
watching Erica work. She pushed Tamira’s legs apart and rested them
on the stirrups. God, who knew? What was she doing? He’d never
actually seen her at work, or what went on in these examination
rooms. He grew hot, and began perspiring with anxiety. He decided
he really didn’t want to know what happened in here. Still, there
was something quick, confident, and commanding in Erica’s movements
that intrigued him and he could not resist watching her.

A drape hid the more graphic parts from
Spencer’s eyes. Erica disappeared behind it, using some
evil-looking metal tool. God, what did she do with that? He felt a
grimace of sympathetic pain.

“Pap smear.”

Spencer started at hearing Erica’s voice. She
suddenly slid out from behind Tamira’s legs. She was looking at him
and her face seemed cold. Even deadpan.

“What?”

“I’m doing a pap smear on her. Checking to
make sure things are okay. You looked puzzled over what I was
doing.”

“What’s that thing?”

“Speculum. Opens things up so I can
work.”

He remembered her claim of knowing women
better then he and now realized exactly how accurate she was.

“Can we do a sonogram? Please, Dr.
Heathersby?”

“Yes. An in-office one.” Erica turned and
left, but came back minutes later, wheeling a computer-like machine
with a screen. Spencer didn’t have a clue what that was for
either.

“Come here. You’ll want to see,” Tamira said,
holding out her hand to him. Spencer glanced at Erica, who tilted
her head as if to say he should take Tamira’s hand. Spencer
did.

Standing now by Tamira’s head, Spencer
watched Erica’s miraculous hands at work. She pushed aside the
gown, and squeezed some gel-like goo on Tamira’s belly. Spencer
felt his nerves getting ragged. He felt dizzy, like he might pass
out and his breath was coming in short, gasping pants.

Then Erica put a wand-like apparatus over
Tamira’s stomach, moving it all around while she clicked on the
keyboard in front of her. She was concentrating on the image and
looking at the screen, but her expression remained unchanged.
Finally, she smiled at Tamira.

“Well? Can’t I see it?”

“It’s too small yet. Maybe next time.”

Spencer looked into Erica’s face and saw her
mouth was tight, while her eyes avoided his. What was it? What did
she see? Something. It seemed like something. She looked intense.
Uptight. Worried.

Erica wiped Tamira’s stomach off, and tucked
the gown around her with gentle hands and a warm squeeze. The way
that a mother might do with her daughter. God, was there no end to
Erica’s goodness? How did she do it? How did she find so much
compassion and professionalism for a girl who deliberately sought
to rub her nose in this? How could she keep her composure and
humanity? Her grace? Spencer was so awed by Erica, he could hardly
get his brain to process what was happening: they were looking at
his baby inside a girl he wanted nothing whatsoever to have any
further interactions with.

Tamira sat up. “Dr. Heathersby, I’ve been
thinking. I’d like to tell Spencer everything. You know, the last
year stuff. But I was wondering if you would tell him.”

Erica’s eyes jerked up to Tamira’s. “Why? Why
don’t you?”

“Because I just can’t.”

Erica studied Tamira. “You want me to discuss
your past history with him? What I know?”

“Yes. Please. Would you?”

Erica waited a long, drawn-out moment. “Fine.
Do you mind if I talk to him now? While you get dressed? You could
wait in here for me?”

“Sure. Of course. Oh thank you!” Tamira
nearly bounced off the exam table with a happy bop. What the
hell?

Spencer took it as his cue to follow Erica
into her office. She walked around her desk and sat down. The
message was clear: she was putting her professional distance
between them. She was a doctor in here. Wilting in her chair, and
resting her elbows on her desk, her head fell into her hands.
Finally, she raised her head, removed her glasses, and rubbed her
eyes before putting them back on and sighing.

“We have a problem. A really big
problem.”

He sat down across from her. It was the first
time he ever sat in there before. He always stood before her,
waiting for his next orders and leaving. Except for that one time
when he had sex with her while sitting on her couch.

“I know. I do.”

“No. We do. Look, things aren’t all right
with her.”

“What do you mean? Is something wrong with
the baby?”

“You could say that. There is no baby.”

He jerked upright. “What the hell? She lied?
She went through this whole grueling charade, expecting what? To
trick me?”

“No,” Erica said, her voice very calm. “Sit
back down. I have to talk about this. Right now, I’m talking as
Tamira’s doctor to the person she wants for support in this. I need
you to be that person. We’re not us right now. Let me just get
through this.”

He let out a breath. How did she do it?
Remain uninvolved on behalf of a girl who didn’t deserve it? Who
deliberately lied and caused all this gut-wrenching stress?

“I don’t think she’s lying in the way you
mean. She’s having something called pseudocyesis.”

“Pseudo what? If she’s not pregnant, she’s
not. That means she’s lying.”

“No, she’s not. This is a real condition. It
has a lot of names, false pregnancy, hysterical pregnancy,
imaginary pregnancy, and the list goes on. Cases have been
documented for centuries. It’s rare, extremely rare. I’ve never
come across it in my practice before today.”

“What exactly is it?” Spencer felt dazed.
Angry. Confused. Pissed off.

“The most common factor to all cases is the
affected patient remains convinced she is pregnant. Their symptoms
mimic true pregnancy, and are hard to distinguish from the real
thing. Morning sickness, tender breasts, weight gain, and period
cessation, as Tamira has evinced. And even some abdominal
distension; the abdomen expands in the same manner as it would in a
normal pregnancy. Medically, I thought Tamira really was pregnant.
The only thing missing was the fetus on the ultra sound.”

Spencer didn’t know what to say. He was
stunned. “I don’t understand.”

“Tamira is having these physical symptoms and
she really believes she’s pregnant. She wasn’t screwing with
you.”

“So you’re saying she has somehow replicated
actually being pregnant? How could that be? Why?”

“No one knows exactly why. There are so few
cases, the causes have been studied very little. There is no
single, underlying cause. Women who are emotionally unstable, or
become extremely emotional about discussing pregnancy are often at
risk for this. I guess for Tamira, it could be just wish
fulfillment, in which her minor body changes have created the false
belief of true pregnancy.”

“You think she wanted to be pregnant so bad,
her body believes she now is?”

“Yes. But she’s a victim of this. And not
causing it.”

“Why would she be so emotional over a
pregnancy?”

“Her history.”

Spencer paused. “Why you kept warning me away
from her.”

“Yes.”

“And now you can tell me.”

“I first met her when she was eighteen. That
was three years ago. She had a rash that wouldn’t go away and
vaginal warts. Anyway, I saw her a lot. But usually, for nothing.
She came back all the time, nearly weekly for a while. I suspected
someone was hurting her and she was looking for help. For some
reason, she liked me, but she wouldn’t come right out and tell me
why she kept coming in. I let her because I hoped to gain her trust
so she would tell me the truth. Turns out, I was right. She finally
told me. Her father had been molesting her as long as she could
remember.”

Spencer’s insides tightened and bile climbed
up his throat. He thought about how he treated her. How carelessly
he had sex with her. He closed his eyes, preferring not to know
anymore about Tamira.

“Still, she wouldn’t leave home. She was
afraid to leave her father and he had complete control over her. He
had her convinced she liked the abuse, and purposely brought it on
herself. Guilt and self-loathing kept her with him until she was
nineteen. That’s when she came to me pregnant.”

Spencer drew in a sharp breath. “Her father’s
baby?”

Erica nodded. “Yes. She eventually decided to
have an abortion, which I performed for her. I do them only rarely.
But I had to do it. She was destroyed. But you see why she had to
do it. Anyway, she came to me months later, wanting to move out.
She completed a course in medical billing, all with the end goal of
working here, for me, which I knew was wrong. She never even told
me about her goals. She just decided she had to work for me, and
got the training she needed so she could do something here. What
could I say? Refuse her? She seems to look to me for guidance. And
support. I don’t know exactly why. Except that I pressed hard to
find out what was going on with her father, and no one else ever
did.”