Zeke (7 page)

As she pulled into the parking lot,
her phone rang. She looked at the display and her hopes soared. It was Zeke!

“Hi, baby.” His voice sent thrills
through her body like electrical shocks. “Can you talk?”

“Oh, yes!” Sue maneuvered
one-handed into a space, put her car in park, and shut off the engine. “Yes, I can
talk. I just got to work, but I have about five minutes before I have to clock
in.”

“Sue, I’ve missed you so much. We
have to work things out, honey. I can’t take being away from you. It’s like
trying to live without air. I need you, bunny.”

“I need you, too!” Sue sagged
against the seat in relief. Her heart lifted.

“What time do you get off tonight?”

“I’ll be done by nine.”

“Meet me in front of Re-Books. I’ll
be waiting.” Zeke’s voice had resumed its normal lazy sound. “I need you, Sue.”

“I’ll be there,” she promised while
throwing a quick glance at her watch. “Bye.” She jumped from her car and
practically danced across the parking lot. She felt like she had wings on her
shoes.

Time crawled by at work, but every
time Sue thought of her upcoming meeting with Zeke, she felt light as air.

When she arrived at Re-Books and
saw him leaning against his van, waiting for her, her pulse picked up. She
flung her door open, ran to him, and threw herself into his arms. With
brazenness uncommon even for Zeke, they crawled into his van and made love
right there on the spot, with a handful of pedestrians wandering by just
outside their cozy den. The idea of people so close by was exhilarating to Sue,
in a dirty sort of way.

“What if they hear us?” she
whispered with a quiet giggle.

“It’d be a rush,” Zeke said as he
moved inside her. “A rush.”

Snoopy Sue

Sue really couldn’t understand the
need for their relationship to be secret. She was willing to go along to a
certain extent, but it still didn’t make sense to her. Finally, she decided to
put pressure on Zeke to take her to his house.

“I wish I knew where you live,” she
said wistfully. They were sitting at a table in the park, the heavy summer heat
weighing them down like a wet quilt. She fanned her face with her hand.

“It’s about time I told you
something.” Zeke’s mouth set in a tight line. “My old lady’s got problems. She
drinks. A lot.” He ducked his head.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Sue was
immediately flooded with sympathy. “I had no idea.” She placed a gentle hand
over his, but he pulled away.

“I don’t like to talk about it. But
you can see why I’d rather not take anyone home. It’s embarrassing. I never
know what condition she’s going to be in.”

“It’s okay,” Sue consoled. “I
understand. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that.”

A group of noisy children raced
past, followed by a heavyset man with a handlebar moustache. He was carrying a
can of beer and calling, “Slow down! Wait for me, dammit.” He glanced over at
Sue and Zeke, but his eyes slid past them. He waddled by on thick stubby legs
like a broken wobble toy.

Sue waited for him to pass before
speaking again. “You could have told me before, sweetie. I would have
understood.”

“Well, now you know why I don’t
take you to my house.” Zeke’s eyes were hard. “I’d rather not take a chance on
being humiliated, and I don’t need anyone’s pity.”

“Sure,” Sue said. “No problem.”

A light sweat glistened on Zeke’s
forehead. He wiped it on the back of his arm. “Damn it, Sue. You just couldn’t
give it a rest, could you? Had to keep badgering me. Snooping and poking
around. I hope you’re satisfied, now that you’ve ruined our evening together.”
He stared unseeing over the thirsty grass browning in the hot sun.

“Zeke! I already dropped the
subject!” Sue scooted closer to him on the bench. “And anyway, I wasn’t trying
to hurt you or embarrass you. That wasn’t my intent at all. I just wanted to
know more about you. Because I
love
you!”

“I saw you, you know. The other
night.”

“Saw me? What do you mean?” A chill
settled over Sue.

“In the rearview mirror. Following
me.”

Sue blanched and started to speak,
but Zeke cut her off. “Are you stupid enough to think I really wanted to go
into that fishing shop? Look at me, Sue. Do I look like a fisherman?”

Sue turned away, heart beating rapidly.
She’d had no idea he’d spotted her tailing him. Her curiosity was just so
strong. She’d waited outside Re-Books and followed his van when he’d left work.
She’d only wanted a glimpse of his place, to know where he went every night. A
flush of shame spread over her cheeks.

“I don’t know what you’re talking
about.” She tried to play it cool, but her hands trembled. She shoved aside his
cutting words, knowing he didn’t really think she was stupid. It was the pain
talking, not him.

“You know what I did, Sue?” He
clenched his jaw and he stared at her. His eyes were hard and cold. “I left out
the back, snuck around the building, and stood right behind your car. You were
so busy watching the front door, you didn’t even see me.”

“Oh, god.” Sue buried her head in
her hands. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t spying on you. Really. I just wanted to
know...”

“You wanted to see the shit-hole I
live in? That it?”

Sue groaned. “No! Well, I...I guess
so.”

“Well, I’ve got somewhere to be.”
He got up suddenly, waves of displeasure emanating from him, a moody darkness
like a blast of cold air.

Feeling foolish and rejected, Sue
followed him to the van, hating the stiff set of his shoulders. He ignored her
when she climbed into the passenger seat. No matter what she said on the short
ride back, he didn’t answer. She feared he would never want to see her again
and she couldn’t bear it. But, at the last minute he gave her a sad smile.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”

She sagged with relief. His bizarre
way of twisting things, the verbal pictures he painted in her mind, the
sensations he was able to coax from her body all combined somehow into a toxic
mix, a drug that she couldn’t resist. No one had ever talked to her the way he
did, and it simultaneously repelled and attracted her. He was a sickness for
her, but she didn’t want a cure. Right or wrong, she wanted Zeke.

Driving home, Zeke sulked. His
presence was required at a dinner party. His job: dress up in a tux, be
attentive to Mrs. Harrington in front of her stuffy guests, and make sparkling
conversation. Of course, later she would flip a coin to decide whether he or
Lazlo would share her bed first that night. Maybe she would press them both
into service again. It was Mrs. Harrington’s call, of course. She was the organ
grinder and he was her monkey. And he was getting tired of it.

Mean
Eugene

Zeke had spread a blanket on the
floor of an old deserted farmhouse about ten miles outside of town. Sue had her
head in his lap, looking up at the peeling paper and dust-laden spider webs in the
corners.

Zeke watched intently as Sue reeled
off a painful recollection of a Labor Day weekend years before. She set the
scene with a vivid description; the details were still sharp in her mind.

“I remember the savory smell of the
barbeque, the sound of ice cubes clinking against the glass of the lemonade
pitcher, and the sight of the Jell-O desserts all crowned with whipped cream
toppings. The grown-ups milled around the house, but all the kids were shooed
outside to play.

“I didn’t want to play with my
cousin, Eugene. Mean Eugene, I called him to myself. But, my mother pushed me
outside. ‘Now go on, Susie,’ she said, ‘the grown-ups want to visit.’ Then she
pulled the screen door shut behind her and told me to stay in the yard.

“Eugene glared at me and made
snorting sounds. He called my name like hog callers do. You know, like…Sue-eee.
Then he whacked me in the arm and ran to the other side of the porch hollering.
‘You look like a piggy. Sue-eee!’

“Now keep in mind that he was
bigger than me. Still, I tried to stick up for myself. I yelled at him that I
did not look like a pig! I couldn’t keep the tears out of my eyes, though.

“He taunted me. ‘Yes you do, you
have a fat piggy snout and little piggy eyes. You’re ugly as a turd. That’s it;
you’re a piggy turd!’”

Sue did a perfect impression of the
bully, right down to his nasal twang.

“Guess what he did then? The tubby
little brat pulled a rock from his pocket and threw it at me. It missed, but it
would’ve really hurt me if it hadn’t. I screamed at him, telling him that he
was mean, then I ran to the door and tried to open it, but it stuck, so I cried
out for my mom.

“I heard a chair scrape on the
linoleum inside and my mother came to the door, a crease between her brows. She
wanted to know what was the matter, and her voice sounded so weary, like I was
being a nuisance. She asked me why I couldn’t play like all the other kids did.

“My lips quivered as I told her
about Eugene calling me names and throwing rocks at me. You know what she
said?”

Zeke shook his head but said
nothing, not wanting to interrupt the flow of the tale.

“She said she was sure he didn’t
mean it, and then she gave him this tolerant look and said, ‘did you, Eugene?’

“Of course, Eugene put on an
innocent face and said he’d just been kidding. And she believed the little
creep. Not me, her daughter. No, she believed Eugene. I felt totally abandoned
as she turned and disappeared back into the kitchen.

“The way my mom handled things only
emboldened Eugene. He got even meaner and called me a tattletale and
brace-face. He told me I’d better not go out in a storm with all that wire in
my mouth or lightning would strike me dead. Then, he punched me in the arm
again, snickered, and ran around the side of the house.

“I crawled up on the porch swing
and tried to make myself small. I held my arm, massaging the sore spot, which
later turned into a deep purple bruise, and wished I could go into my room and
draw with my crayons.

“But our family gatherings seemed
to have one hard and fast rule. Adults inside, children outside. The older kids
were allowed to walk down to the park, but Eugene and I had to stay home. Over
the years, I endured many of these miserable get-togethers. Until I was old
enough to go the park with my other cousins, I was at the mercy of Mean
Eugene.”

With a gentle hand, Zeke stroked
her hair. “I wonder why your mom didn’t want to protect you?”

“She didn’t realize what was going
on. She probably thought it was just kids being kids.”

“I don’t know, bunny. She was a
grown woman. She knew better. Sounds to me like she just didn’t care. I hate to
say this, but maybe your mother never wanted children in the first place. You
told me your folks are quite a bit older than your schoolmates’ parents. Maybe
you were an accident, a change of life baby. You ever think of that? That’s
probably why they never had any more kids. Your mom probably even toyed with
the idea of abortion, but couldn’t handle the guilt.”

“Oh, Zeke, no.” Sue’s eyes filled
with tears. “That’s not true.”

“Well, why do you think she let Eugene
abuse you then? Why do you think she forced you to play with him, knowing how
cruel he was and knowing you were too little to defend yourself? Why would a
mother do that to her child?”

“I don’t know,” Sue said miserably.
“I think she was just busy visiting.”

“Too busy to protect her own little
girl? After you told her what was going on? I don’t know. It doesn’t sound
right to me.”

Sue sniffled but didn’t answer.
Is
it possible my mother never loved me? Was I an unwanted child, a burden my
parents had to endure?
No! I don’t believe it.
Still, the idea was
hurtful because it created doubt.

Zeke stretched out and pulled her
up next to him.

“Don’t take it so hard, honey. I
have a bad mother, too. It’s not easy, but you can overcome it. You just have
to accept it and decide to move on. You can’t let the past drag you down. You
have to take control over your own destiny, Sue.”

His hand moved calmly and steadily
over her hair, comforting her, transmitting a message of love and empathy.
“I’ll never be too busy for you,” he whispered. “And I’ll never let anyone hurt
you.”

He began kissing her with great
tenderness. She cried quietly, but he ministered to her with gentle touches and
soothing murmurs.

“I’ll always look out for you,
Susie Q. I’ll make you the center of my world.” He offered promises as he slid
his hands down her body. “And I don’t think you’re ugly. I think you’re
beautiful, like a goddess. You’re so special to me.”

His stroking hands placated her.
Consoled her. Her tears subsided.

“So, what’s Eugene like today?” he
asked.

“He’s okay, I guess. He’s shorter
than me, now, so he has to look up to me. He works in a vacuum cleaner repair
shop in Jersey.”

“Sounds like a loser.”

Sue nodded; Zeke’s words were a
much-needed boost to her wounded pride. Eugene
was
a disappointment to
his parents, she reflected. It was common knowledge within the family that he
hadn’t gone as far in life as they’d expected.

Zeke kisses grew more passionate,
arousing her. “Use your lips on me, baby.” He unsnapped his jeans and pulled
them over his hips. “Please. I need you.”

Sue, still numbed by their
conversation, dutifully wrapped her lips around his erection. He moaned.

“That’s good, that’s really good.”
Zeke panted slightly.

She let her tongue trail up his
length with each stroke, starting to enjoy the feel.

“So,” Zeke said casually, “were you
ever attracted to Eugene?”

She spit him out as if she’d just
found a bug in her mouth. Gazing up at him, a perplexed hurt in her eyes, she
stuttered, “Hell no!”