Zandor (23 page)

I unlocked the door and held it open for her.

“Don’t come in
.” She stood, arms crossed, shaking like a leaf.

“You really think I’m leaving right now when you just pulled that shit thinking I was going to cheat on you?”

“We’re not together.” She said slowly like I was too stupid to understand.

“Don’t say shit like that
, Bekah.”

“You’re hurting me
, Zandor, worse than anyone else in my life ever has. Now that you know that it should be easier for you to leave.”

“I will strip you down in every way I want and then build you back up. You’ll do as I say and you’ll like it
.” I was not going to calm down, I knew what she needed, fucking me!

“You may not be able to see what it is you’re doing to me. But listen to yourself do you even hear what you’re saying to me? Do you
? I was so wrong about you.” She turned to walked away and I grabbed her hand and she winced.

I looked down and her hand was red. I took it more gently and kissed it
. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I don’t want that, Bekah, I want to…I want you to let me show you everything I need to about me that can make you better. Make me better. I know now how you see me…”

“The same way you saw me in North Carolina when you heard everything about me. You’re kidding yourself if you think…”

“No, you’re forgetting what it was like! What we are to each other.”

“Just stop please just stop
.” She pulled her hand away from my lips.

“You deserve to be
.” I stopped and closed my eyes feeling the burning rising up. The feeling of loss. “I’ll leave if that’s what you need but listen to me very carefully, Bekah, I won’t repeat this and you’ll definitely want to remember it.
Quando chiudo gli occhi vedo solo te. Ti amo gattino
.” I watched the confusion in her eyes so I repeated slowly three words I had never said to another woman, “
Ti amo gattino
.”

I walked out and closed the door and fucking just in time. I felt tears in my eyes, and I didn’t fucking cry. Ever. And I wouldn’t now.

What What?

Bekah

I watched him sit in the cold vehicle, motionless. He raised his hands to blow into them. It was cold out, I know because I had left my jacket at the bar, apparently he did, too.

I couldn’t call and ask Tiffany to bring them home, my phone was in my pocket. So I stood watching him sit in my car waiting for him to leave so I could fall apart.

And that is just what happened. I lay in bed, next to his overpriced jacket that smelled of leather and him. I held it tight and cried myself to sleep.

~

I woke to Tiffany sitting next to me brushing the hair off my tear-stained face. I looked up at her and she held my coat.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

“No problem. Go back to sleep.” She kissed the top of my head and started to stand.

“Tiff
,
ti ammo gattino
?”

“I love you
, too.” She smiled and started to walk away.

“Wait!”

She stopped and turned. “What is it?”

“
Ti amo gattino
? What’s it mean?”

“It’s been a few years since I took Italian, but I’m pretty sure in means I love you
, Kitten.”

“No.”

“Look it up.” She sat next to me and grabbed my phone from my coat pocket and laughed, “There’s an app for that.”

She played with my phone and then gave me sad puppy dog eyes
. “Yeah, it means I love you, Kitten. Did he say that to you?”

I
nodded and started crying again.

“And it makes you sad?”

“Yes, damn it!” I lay down and cried into my pillow.

“Okay
.” she lay down and rubbed my back.

~

The next time I woke, it was to a tall blonde gorgeous man tickling my feet. “Rise and shine, darlin’. It’s turkey day.”

“Chris?” I rubbed my eyes, “What are you doing here?”

He sat down and hugged me. “Well apparently hell froze over in the South. The colonel called me this morning to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving.”

“No way!”

“Yeah, no shit, huh?”

“Apparently
, he wants to make sure his
kiddos
know he feels like shit about the past four years and hopes that even if we don’t want to spend the holidays with him we should do it together.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him I didn’t know if he was hopped up on pain meds but I was still gonna fuck guys when I felt inclined.”

“You didn’t?”

He looked at me and rolled his eyes.

“Of course you did.”

“He told me life was too short for the bullshit and he hoped we could move past it all. He also told me about some guy that you brought down there that he was an asshole to. Oh and by the way he’s not apologizing for that because he’d do it again. I asked if when I brought a boy home he’d do the same thing to protect my virtue.”

I
laughed and covered my mouth. “What did he say?”

“He said not to push it.”

We both laughed. He gave me a big-old Chris hug.

“You look like shit
, Beks, take a shower. It’s two in the afternoon for fuck sake! Get all pretty and we’re going out to Thanksgiving Dinner.”

“Okay
.” I hopped up and ran to the shower.

As shitty as I felt
, I wouldn’t say no. It had been too long between visits with Chris and I and we lived so close.

Tiffany walked out of her room with Drew
. “You sure you won’t go with us?”

“No
, Chris is here, we’re going to dinner.” I know I was beaming and she smiled and hugged me.

“Glad you feel better. See you later?”

“Yes.”

~

After my shower I walked into the bedroom and Chris was standing in the window smirking.

“What’s so funny?” I asked and nudged him with my hip.

“You’re car just got dropped off by two very hot men.”

I looked out the window and sure enough the SUV was pulling out and Zandor wasn’t driving. They drove by slowly and
Zandor had his head out the window looking up at me and he flipped me off. The driver pulled him back and peeled out.

“You got an admirer?”

“Apparently not.”

“Why because he flipped you the bird?”

“Yeah.” I forced a smile.

“It’s Thanksgiving
, baby girl. I’d take it as a Happy Thanksgiving greeting.”

“
Rose-colored glasses?”

“No other way to live. Now get dressed, we are gonna have one hell of a Thanksgiving
.” he chuckled and walked out leaving me to get dressed.

~

“Where are we?” I asked as he pulled into the driveway of a beautiful home on a hill just outside of town.

“I work with this girl. She insisted on me coming here for Thanksgiving,
and I promised I would. If you’re not comfortable we can leave. But I think you’ll like them, real down to earth people.”

He walked around the car and opened my door
. “Feels good to have a hot female date to dinner. Been awhile.”

“Still on the man kick?”

“You live here now, you tell me how the hell I couldn’t be.” He patted my back.

The door opened
, and a little girl with dark hair and blue eyes said. “Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Happy Thanksgiving to you
, too.” Chris grinned at her.

“Momma Carly
, we have guests!” She yelled as she skipped into the entry.

A pretty blonde walked out followed by a very petite brunette
. “Christoff you made it!”

“I did and I hope you don’t mind, I brought a date
.” He hugged each of them.

“Of course, there’s plenty for everyone
.” The blonde smiled and stuck out her hand, “I’m Carly.”

“Very nice to meet you
. I’m Rebekah. You have a lovely home.” I shook her hand.

“I know right, crazy beautiful
.” She was very sweet and seemed down to earth.

The little brunette stuck her hand out and smiled
. “I’m Tara. What did you say your name was?”

“Rebekah, but you can call me…”

“Is that music I hear?” Chris interrupted and dragged me behind him as I kicked my shoes off.

We walked into a beautiful family room to the little dark haired girl playing a dance game on the television.

“Come on, Aunt Tara and Momma Carly! I’m not getting any younger.” She clapped excitedly

Carly looked at me
. “I apologize for what you’re about to witness, I’m not a dancer. If you want to sit back and watch, feel free to watch Bella or Tara. Or do me a favor and play along so I don’t feel like an idiot.”

I
laughed. “I’ve never played.”

“Perfect, maybe I’ll have a few minutes before you get the hang of it to not be the only one that dreadful gaming system boos
.” The doorbell rang and she smiled. “Excuse me for just a moment.”

“You’re player four, see right here?”
Bella pointed to the screen and I smiled and shook my head yes. “Let’s get this party started! Christoff you’re playing too.”

“Fine, I suppose I can do that, just don’t start crying when I wipe the dance floor with you
, Bella.”

“As if,” she
snickered. “You’re number 5.”

We were dancing and
laughing. Tara was definitely the one to beat. Bella was great, too. We played for at least five songs before we stopped for a break.

“You have me sweating
.” I wiped my head and Bella did too.

“Want a drink?”

“Sure, lead the way, tiny dancer,” She grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hall and into the kitchen.

I stood looking around in
aww. It was perhaps the most beautiful kitchen I had ever been in. The cupboards were distressed white wood framing glass doors. Each was organized beautifully. The double sink was stainless matching all the other appliances. The counters were all white granite except for the large island in the middle, its countertop was black. I loved the contrast in color.

I heard muffled voices from the other room and Bella grabbed five bottles of water from the refrigerator.

“Come on, break time is over.” she giggled

We stepped into the hall and she dropped three on the floor. I
laughed and picked them up. I heard a loud inhale of breath and a growl from behind. Before I could look, Bella was dragging me into the family room.

“Alright let’s do this!” She cranked up the music, Thrift Shop played. I looked at Carly shocked.

“PG version. Let’s do this!” Carly shouted.

We were all doing well, even Carly
, who thought she couldn’t dance.

When the song ended
, the room erupted in applause and I turned to look behind me.

I felt dizzy immediately and must have stumbled because Carly grabbed my elbow and steadied me.

“You oaky?”

I couldn’t look away from his angry dark glare.

I shook my head quickly up and down.

“Why don’t you have a seat for a minute?”

Carly walked me over to the couch and it was like Moses parted the red sea. Xavier moved over and patted the spot next to him, as he bit his cheeks, suppressing a grin.

Joe walked in wiping her hands on her apron and her jaw almost hit the floor.

Tara smiled at her. “Christoff and his sister Rebekah are joining us.”

She smiled
. “Of course, of course. It’s wonderful, the more the merrier. Nice to see you again, Bekah.”

Zandor chuckled
, and I felt my face heat up. “You too, Mrs. Steel.”

“Joe is good
, Bekah.” She smiled and then shot Zandor a look.

He and Xavier both
chuckled.

I looked up at Tara who was looking back and forth between Zandor and me almost as if she knew. I wondered if she did. If everyone in this room did, I searched for Chris and he was avoiding eye contact. I wondered if he knew too.

Bella walked up to me with my water bottle. “Are you okay?”

She knelt in front of me and opened the bottle and handed it to me.

“I’m fine thank you, Bella.” I took a drink and only then did I realize I was shaking.

Zandor reached up and took the bottle
. “Why don’t you go see if maybe there’s a couple crackers, Little Bell.”

When she left the room Xavier
burst out laughing and then gave me a big kiss on the cheek. He left the room, and my brother followed him out.

Zandor turned
toward me. “This fucking diet is gonna kill you, Bekah.”

“You…this is
your…”

“My family? Yes. The guy you came with is Christoff?”

“Chris, yeah. My…”

“Brother?”

“Yeah, you’ve been drinking?”

“A lot
.” He started to rub my leg. “I’m going to have a hard time controlling myself.”

“I’m going to leave, this is your
family’s…”

“You stay. If you try to leave
, I may lose my shit.” He stopped and lifted my hand. “I hurt you last night.”

“I bruise easy. I’m fine.”

“I never would hurt you, Bekah.”

“You flipped me off today.”

“I saw a man in your bedroom window and your hair in a towel fresh from a shower.” He brought my hand up and kissed my wrist and then licked it.

“Zandor.”

“No, let me pretend that you didn’t crush my heart last night. Let me pretend that you’re still mine.” He leaned over and kissed my neck. “I won’t come after you again. I said everything I could last night. If your feelings aren’t the same, there is no reason for me to be here.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means me…”

“I got crackers
.” Little Bell ran into the room.

I looked up and Carly, Tara, Cyrus, and another man walked in and looked at me.

“Thanks, Bella.” Zandor leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

She
laughed. “You need to shave.”

They all walked in and sat around me.

Zandor looked up and laughed. “Bekah, I think you’ve met every one here except Jase.”

Jase smiled and stuck out his hand
. “I feel like I already know you.”

I felt my face turn red instantly.

“Smooth, Jase.” Zandor sat back and groaned.