Z-Burbia 7: Sisters of the Apocalypse (2 page)

Motherfucking Kramer and his mad scientist conditioning. I swear I'm going to slice his scrote open and make him suck on his balls like jawbreakers when I find his ass.

"How long do we stay on this trail?" Steph turns and asks me, her mouth jammed with apple and salami. "Those blind kids gave us the slip yesterday. This town is either a trap or a dead end."

"We check it out," I say.

No one in charge, but I am the driving motherfucker when it comes to hunting Kramer. That old cocksucker is why Stella died. He fried one of our sister's brains. Cassie. Fried her up good and she killed Stella.

I found her. Don't you worry about that. Brought her back for the Stanfords to go all stabby stabby on. Fucking killed her dead in a shower. Bitch deserved it. No argument.

But Kramer is still out here somewhere. I got a life goal. A five-year, ten-year, however-long-it-takes-year plan. Hunt Kramer, kill Kramer. That's the plan.

"We search the town for the son of a bitching shitfucker," I say. "If he ain't here then maybe there's some clues."

"Clues?" Marcie laughs. "This isn't Scooby-Doo, El. Any clues those blind kids may have left aren't going to lead us anywhere. They never do."

"You quitting on me?" I ask, giving her the stink eye. I have a good stink eye. Makes people squirm.

But she's a sister and shrugs it off. Sisters don't give a shit about no stink eye.

"You know I'll follow you to the ends of the Earth, El," Marcie says. "I'll never quit."

"Thanks," I say. I drop my stink eye and give her a smile. She deserves a smile. Smiles are good for sisters.

"Three days," Steph says. "That's how long our rations will hold out. It's a five-day drive back to the Stronghold since we have to go cross country to avoid the canny traps and crazies. We have three days of food for here then we try to scavenge what we can and head home. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Antoinette says. She takes a bite of zucchini bread and says something else, but I can't make it out.

"Agreed," Marcie says. "El?"

"Yep," I say. "Can't hunt if we're starving. Agreed."

Steph relays the plan to Audrey. She agrees as well.

"We bunk down on this roof tonight," Steph says. "Audrey is going to stay where she is so she can provide cover for us tomorrow. We'll rendezvous with her and then get to the Humvees. After that, we continue our sweep of this town and try not to get swarmed by Zs."

"Sure are a lot of them for a small town," Antoinette says, zucchini bread falling from her mouth.

"Jesus," Marcie says. "Close your mouth."

"Whatever," Antoinette says and swallows. "I still don't look as bad as El when she eats."

They all turn to me and grin. Fuckers.

"Ha ha," I say. "You should have seen how I ate when I was munching on people meat."

"You had to go there, didn't you?" Steph says and rolls her eyes. She's an eye roller.

"I lived there," I replied. "Don't worry. I ain't going back. You bitches look yummy, but I think you all are a little spoiled."

"Fuck and you," Marcie laughs as she gives me the finger.

I love my sisters.

Chapter Two

The town we're in was called North Valley. That's what it was called when people lived here. Ain't called that now. Now? It's Z-Town. Z-Ville. The Z-Burg. Z-Valley. Yeah, Z-Valley. Should have said that first. I miss Long Pork. He always knew all the good puns and jokes and funny stuffs.

Whatever the fuck it's called, it's someplace north of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Which means we ain't even in Colorado anymore. And it's hot as fuck because it's September and shit is still hot down here in the Southwest in September. Or that's what Charlie says. He's all Mr. Big Thinks, so he knows his weather facts. Not that I need weather facts to know it's hot because it's fucking hot.

Might be hot during the day, but it gets butt-ass cold at night, so we sisters all huddle up together to stay warm as the stars sparkle in the perfectly clear night sky. Audrey calls on the radio a couple of times to tell us we suck since she has no one to huddle with. We tell her we're sorry, but none of us are because we're warm and would rather stay warm. But we tell her we are sorry because that's what sisters do. Lie to make each other feel better.

I'm not as good at the lying as others.

"Oh, God, who farted?" Marcie groans.

"Me," I say. "It's the salami."

"We all ate the salami and aren't smelling like a dead horse," Antoinette says. "You got something wrong inside you."

"That's what they tell me," I say. Then fart again.

"Dammit, El," Steph growls. "We're gonna make you get out of the huddle if you keep doing that."

"Farts are part of life," I say. "Do not banish life because you cannot handle the stink of it."

"That sounds like Greta," Marcie says. "You need to stop listening to Greta. She's constantly fucking with you, you know?"

"Yeah," I reply. "I know. It's our game."

We all drift off to sleep, the sound of the Zs down below like a scary lullaby. Not too scary since I can whoop Z ass when I want to, but it ain't soothing like Stella singing a song or anything.

I miss Stella too. She was kind and strong and smart and kicked Long Pork's ass when it needed to be kicked which was like all the time because he was so annoying and stupid sometimes but other times he wasn't and I miss him just as much.

Whew. That was a long thought. Need to take a brain breath.

I dream. Old times when I was a girl. Standing in a white dress as my mother, that evil bitch, presents me to someone. He's tall and thin and has a long scar from his right eye down to his jaw line. He doesn't smile at me. He doesn't say anything. My mother is talking, that evil bitch, and she's saying something to the man, but I can't hear the words. I know she's talking because you just know stuffs in dreams, but I can't hear the stupid words.

Stupid, stupid words.

He nods to my mother and reaches down for my hand. I don't want to give it to him. His hand is more scarred than his face. It's all warped and gross and the skin looks like it's made of that doughy play stuff that's bright colors. Can't remember the name of it. It's dough you play with. Fuck! What's it called?

He has my hand. I didn't give it to him, stupid dream. Stupid, stupid dream.

We're walking away from my mother, that evil bitch. She waves to me then turns and goes inside our house. It's a big house. Mansion. Not like the Biltmore where I met the sisters for the first time after we were separated. Not that big. But big. Half a Biltmore?

Mother is gone, that evil bitch, and I'm all alone with the scarred man. He's talking to me now, but I can't hear the words. I hate this dream. Stupid, stupid dream. The words are like dumb butterflies that float off in the air. I see them. They don't have wings like butterflies because words can't have wings. That would be weird. Words with wings would be weird.

He keeps talking, I watch the words fly off, he takes me into the garden that was at the end of the backyard at my old house. I see roses and they laugh at me. I'd punch the roses, maybe lop their heads off like Zs, but I can't because I'm not me in the dream, I'm the little girl me. If I was me now in the dream, I'd so kick those laughing roses' asses.

But not me now, I'm her then. Me then. Whatever then. Scarred guy leads me to a fountain and points. Does the ugly bastard want me to get in the fountain? No thank you and please. Not happening. The water is gross and yucky. Dream me has a white dress on. Gross yucky water and white dresses don't go together. Even I know that.

He points again, his scarred face getting angry. Well, fuck him. Not getting in the water. He grabs me, picks me up, but the dream me is too small to do anything. The guy is really strong. I shout at him, but I don't shout because little girl dream me can't shout. Fucking pussy. Before I can stop him, I'm flying through the air, grabbing at the words, hoping they'll help me. But stupid flying words don't help me and I land in the yucky fountain water.

Kersplash.

My head goes under and I sink fast. The fountain is deep because it's a stupid dream fountain. I sink and sink and sink and finally hit the bottom. Everyone I've ever known is there. All the dead people. No living people, just dead people. I know a lot of dead people. They stand up, not caring about the yucky water at all, and walk over to me. Some of the dead people open their mouths. Nasty-looking teeth. Bitey teeth.

So it's gonna be one of those dreams, is it? Fuck that.

I stand up too, but now I'm the now me, not the dream me because fuck this dream and fuck these dead people I know and fuck getting my little dream girl white dress dirty and shit.

I reach for my blades, but they aren't there. That's not like me. I always have my blades. Even when I'm riding John back at the Stronghold, my blades are within reach. Freaks him out sometimes, but that's the price you pay for fun in the sack with Elsbeth. Heeya!

The dead people I know get closer and I ball up my fists. I think for a second that it's strange I can breathe under water, but it's a dream so I guess it's not that strange. The dead people get to me and I let those fists fly. I hit one smack in the jaw and half its face goes away. Just dissolves in the water like honey in tea.

I like honey in my tea.

The next dead person screams at me, but it's all bubbles and shit. I probably wouldn't hear the words anyway. It's a dumb dream. I kick her in the stomach and she rips in half as her belly dissolves away too.

More dead people. More punching and kicking until they are all gone. The bits that don't dissolve float to the top of the fountain, but that's so far up I can't see it anymore. Just a bright dot, way, way, way above my head. Stupid bright dot.

"Elsbeth."

I spin about.

"Who's there?" I ask.

"Oh, knock it off."

I feel a slap and my eyes pop open.

Marcie.

"You were dreaming again and you punched Steph in the tit," Marcie says.

I rub at my eyes and look over at Steph. She's rubbing her left tit.

"Sorry," I say.

"You are on overwatch tonight," Steph says. "Audrey gets to huddle with us if we're still outside. I am not getting punched in the tit by you anymore, El."

"I said I was sorry," I say and stand up. "Gotta pee."

"Over there," Antoinette says and points to a corner of the roof. "We've already gone. Don't step in the pee."

"I know how it works," I say.

"You don't have to wake up grumpy every morning," Antoinette says and starts rummaging in her pack for breakfast. "Be nice or no apples for you."

"Got my own apples," I say.

"Nope," she smiles. "I snagged all the apples because I knew you'd be grumpy."

"Sneaky twat," I say, but I'm smiling.

Sisters call each other twats. It's funny.

I drop my pants and have a wonderful piss. Nothing beats a good piss first thing in the morning even if it is cold as hell and my butt cheeks start to shiver. I do that little ass shake thing and pull up my pants. This is important. Pay attention. My belt buckle won't buckle right, so I start getting mad at it and stomp around the roof. I almost step in my piss then almost step in my sisters' piss and end up doing this hop jump thing over the puddles.

When I land, my foot goes through the roof and I'm stuck up to my knee.

"Shitfuck," I bitch as I forget my stupid belt and yank at my leg. "Hey! I'm stuck!"

"Keep it down," Steph snaps. "You'll get the Zs riled up."

Everyone comes over to me and I see them start to laugh. Then I see them stop starting to laugh. Then I see them hurry backwards as a crack in the roof spreads from my leg all the way across to the far side. Their eyes go wide, my eyes go wide, everyone freezes for that little second.

Then they jump into action. Antoinette flings herself at me, forgetting about the piss puddles between us, and reaches out as far as she can. I grab her hand as Steph grabs Antoinette and Marcie grabs Steph. They pull, but the roof is already cracking too much and my other leg drops down into the building. Antoinette is shouting at me, but like in my dream, I can't hear her words.

Why?

Because all I hear are Zs growling and moaning and hissing. A whole bunch of asshole Zs right below me. In the building I'm about to fall into. Stupid asshole Zs.

I reach for one of my blades with my free hand and then the dream shit gets real. My blades are sitting by my pack where we'd all slept. All the way across the roof. Stupid asshole blades.

"Hold on!" Antoinette shouts.

"I'm doing that!" I shout back. "Say something helpful!"

"Fuck you!" she yells.

"You too!" I yell back.

The roof cracks more and I start to fall. I can see the crack spreading to Antoinette. If I go down and she doesn't let go then she goes down with me. Can't have that. Sisters don't let sisters go down. She's probably thinking the same thing because when I let go, she grabs me with her other hand.

"No," I say and shake my head. "I got this. Get off the roof and help me from below."

"There are too many Zs below!" Antoinette shouts. "I'm not letting go!"

"Come in from one of the windows," I say, all cool and casual because what else are you gonna do when you're shitfucked like this. "Let. Go."

"Do it," Steph says.

Antoinette starts to argue, but the roof buckles and the crack hits her right in the chest. She lets go.

I fall fast and hit hard. Nothing broken, I know that right away. You don't live in the zombie apocalypse without being super aware of your body. Plus, all that secret conditioning and whatever else Kramer did to us.

I get to my feet and spin about, the morning light just gloomy bullshit through the dirty windows of the room. It's an apartment. Was an apartment. I'm in a bedroom. With a few Zs.

Five Zs. Two women, two men, and a little girl. In a white dress. Was a white dress. All gross now. They come at me, but they're slow and barely held together by spit and shit and goo.

The first woman reaches me and I punch through her head. My fist squishes her rotten brains right out the back of her crumbly skull. That Z drops and I kick out against the first man that's near me. My foot sinks through his chest instead of knocking him back. Great. Now my foot is stuck in a Z's ribcage.

No matter. I can handle this.

I wait for the second woman to reach me and I rip her arms off then jam one into her brain and the other into the brain of the guy holding my foot hostage in his stupid ribcage. She falls, he falls, my foot comes free, and I stand there staring at the last man and the little girl.

The last man shuffles so slow that I yawn. I do. He's boring. I rip his arms off and stab him in the head with one then start to stab the little girl, but stop.

Her skin is grey and just strips falling off her face and neck, but she's got this cute little waddle. I bet she wasn't even six when she died and came back.

"El!" Marcie calls from up on the roof.

"Yeah!" I reply. "I'm good!"

"We're going down the fire escape to find a window we can use to come get you!" she yells.

"Don't bother!" I yell back. "Only a few Zs here! I killed them! I'll find a way out and meet you on the fire escape!"

"You sure?" she asks.

"I'm sure," I say.

"Okay," she says, but doesn't sound convinced. "Hurry. The Zs in the streets are getting thick again!"

"Yeah, yeah, thick Zs, got it," I say and take a deep breath.

The air is dusty and smells like dead shit. The little girl is almost to me, her arms out like she wants to be picked up. She doesn't really want to be picked up. She wants to eat my ass. I stare at the arm still in my hand and the splintered bone at the end. I should jam it right in her eye socket and call it a morning.

But I don't. I can't. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm Elsbeth. I kill Zs. It's what I fucking do. Why can't I kill this one?

"Fuck you," I say and let the arm drop.

I go to the bedroom door and start shoving away the furniture and stuff that's piled in front of it. I hear her little feet scraping across the floor, but I don't turn around. I'll know when she's too close. I always do.