Your Heart to Keep: Holly and Jax (7 page)

Jax. Huh. Not the name I imagined him having but as I bounced it around in my head, I began to feel a trickle of something familiar oozing over my senses and for a moment I was lost.

“Holly? Is that what your name was?”

“Oh! Yes, I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“I really have to go. I still have family here that came for Chloe’s funeral last week. It was lovely to talk to you.”

“Of course. Thank you for your time and again, I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you dear.”

We hung up and I felt lighter. She seemed like a lovely lady and already I had so many questions about Chloe. What did she look like? Did she have lots of friends? What was her favorite color? What sort of car did she drive? It hadn’t been the right time to ask. I hoped that one day in the near future I could speak with her again and gain a better picture of the girl who gave me her heart.

Chapter Ten

Jax

It had been eight days since Chloe’s funeral. Micah sat on my bed in Mom’s trailer, checking his Facebook messages while I did a round with the punching bag.

After the service and burial, Micah had driven me back and slept the night on the sofa in the lounge room. Mom had arrived not long after us in her car but had to head out to work a couple of hours later where she put in some hours serving drinks at a local bar called Heat. I hated her working there and always worried about her walking out to her car late at night with drunks and thugs loitering around. Sometimes I stayed up to go get her and other nights I made sure one of the bouncers walked her to her car.

Now without my wheels, I wouldn’t be able to. I needed to get my shit together and sort out what was happening with my car.

Mom looked pretty good for her age as far as moms went. She had my dark features. Brown eyes and hair, slim figure around five foot ten. I could see why men might look at her and want a piece which is why I worried about her working at the bar. During the day, starting at 7am she worked as a receptionist until 2pm so I didn’t get to spend much time with her because I sometimes didn’t get home from the work until 6pm. An hour tops and then she was gone again.

Since my mother had been working at the bar, I must say, she’d earned some decent tips and had been stashing it away so she could move out of the trailer park and into a nice apartment. She almost had enough to start looking.

I lived about ten minutes away in my own small house. It wasn’t much but it was all I could afford on my mechanic’s wage. It was two bedroom, one bathroom with a decent kitchen considering the size of the house itself. I’d asked Mom to move in a few months ago but she’d refused, knowing that a guy my age really didn’t need to be living with his mother. Plus, Chloe had stayed over most nights and I was sure my mom didn’t want to hear us going at it like rabbits.

Today being Saturday, Micah was back. I think my mom had asked him to keep coming over to keep an eye on me because I’d seen more of him this past week than I had in months. Later in the day I’d get him to drop me back home because Monday I was going back to work. I needed to keep busy.

Hearing the phone in the kitchen peal out, I motioned to Micah with my head as I slowed down the punches. “Can you get that?”

“Sure.” He didn’t even lift his head up from his IPhone but rose from the bed and walked out the door still glued to Facebook.

A minute later he was back, holding the phone out to me. “Who is it?”

“How the fuck should I know?”

“Male or female?”

“Female.”

I took my gloves off and snatched the phone off him. “Hello?”

“Hi Jax. It’s Catherine.” Why was Chloe’s mom calling me?

“Catherine. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing okay. Taking each hour as it comes. How about you?”

“I’m coping.” That was all I was doing. Nothing more.

“I’m glad to hear that.” She cleared her throat and paused for a bit as I waited for her to tell me why she called. “You may or may not want to hear this Jax but I received a phone call yesterday from Chloe’s donor recipient.”

Crap! Don’t do this to me! “And?”

“After speaking with her, Hank and I have made the decision that we’d like to arrange a visit.”

“Why would you want that?” I didn’t really give a damn what they chose to do but why call me and tell me this shit? Was it to guilt me into giving a toss about the female who lived because Chloe had died?

“She sounded like such a nice girl. Holly was her name. She didn’t have to call and offer her sympathy but she did and she was extremely grateful to have been given a new life because of our daughter. That means something to us. I thought maybe…”

“No! Look, I’m sorry Catherine, I really am but if you expect me to go visit this girl or call her…I just can’t.”

Mrs. McQuade’s fatigued sigh didn’t go un-noticed. “I thought that would be your reaction but I wanted to call and give you the option anyway.”

“I appreciate your call. If there is anything else you need, let me know.”

I threw the handset onto my bed beside Micah who had stopped messaging on Facebook and was looking at me, oddly.

I ran a hand over my face and sighed before jabbing an elbow into my trusty punching bag.

“Who was that dude, and why do you look so pissed?”

“It was Chloe’s mom.”

“It didn’t sound like she was calling just to ask how you were.”

I walked over to the vacant wall adjacent to Micah and sat on the carpet, with my knees up, forearms resting on them. “They’re going to visit the bitch that got Chloe’s heart.” I squeezed my eyes tigtly shut before opening them again. “She was going to ask me to go but I cut her off real, quick. Jesus Micah! Why the hell would they want me to do that?”

I gazed at my best friend as he studied me, head slightly tilted, his brown eyes suddenly filled with depth. He was about to say something that I knew I wasn’t going to like, I could tell. He always got that look whenever he tried to talk me into something I didn’t want to do.

“I think you should go.”

“What the fuck? Are you crazy? Goddam it! You’re supposed to be supporting me, not shooting your mouth off about something you know nothing about!” My knuckles cracked as I squeezed my clenched fist with my other hand.

“Calm down, Man! Just think about it for a second, alright? Mrs. McQuade had a valid point. Aren’t you the least bit curious to find out about and meet the girl who has your girlfriend’s beating heart? It’s the only thing left of her that’s still alive. The only thing real that is still a part of what you two had together. And you make it sound like the recipient had a choice. She didn’t. A heart came up and she was a match. It could have been anyone’s. Any one’s at all but it was Chloe’s. Dude I think that’s a sign. You have to go meet this chick.”

Jesus, I hated him when he did this. Went all high and mighty on me. He didn’t know shit about what I was going through. It was easy for him to sit there and say the right thing. He didn’t even have a girlfriend.

“Nope. End of discussion. Don’t bring it up again. Now let’s get out of here and go do something crazy.”

Micah nodded and then seemed to think for a second before plastering a huge devious grin on his face which meant only one thing. Trouble. “I’ve got just the thing.”

Chapter Eleven

Holly

I couldn’t get thoughts of Jax out of my head. It was crazy. Uncalled for. Without reason.

Even though I was twenty years old, I’d never even had a boyfriend. Never been kissed by a boy. It’s not that I hadn’t wanted attention from guys; it’s just that none of them wanted a blind, ill girlfriend.

Hearing his name turned him into a person for me and not just Chloe’s boyfriend. I’d said it to myself over a hundred times trying to figure out why it sounded so right.

Slivers of warmth wove around my new heart as the moniker slipped from my lips again, “Jax.”

I’d never quite had a sensation like it. It ran deep inside my core, tickling my senses and creating a swirl of nervous anticipation to pulsate in my belly.

What was it? Had I met this Jax before but not realized it? Why was my body responding in such a way as to leave me breathless and with a buzz down in my nether region?

I had to find out. Getting up from the bed, I sat at my desk and started talking into my computer. The letter was similar to the one I made for The McQuades with some obvious changes. When I was happy with it, I printed it and decided I needed some help from my brother.

Opening my bedroom door I called out. “Ty?” Hopefully he would hear me above the volume on the television.

“Yeah, Hols?”

“Can you come here for a minute?”

He rumbled down the hallway, singing a Kings of Leon song.

“What’s up, sis?”

“I need your help.”

“Sure. What with?”

“I need you to find me an address.”

“Email or postal?”

“I’m not sure yet. Both, maybe.”

“Do you know the dude’s name?” asked Ty, his shadow moving across my room to sit at my desk while I perched on the bed.

“Jax. He’s the guy that was in the accident with Chloe. My donor’s boyfriend.” With that announcement came a dashing ache to my chest. Like a shot of adrenalin injected directly into my veins. It was only fleeting but most definitely real. Enough so that it caused a sharp intake of breath.

Ty asked, concern in his voice, “You okay, Hols?”

Not wanting to admit to my peculiar episode I breathed out. “Yeah. Just got a cramp in my big toe, that’s all. It’ll settle in a minute. Where were we?” He seemed to buy my lie. At least I thought he did because I couldn’t see the expression in his eyes. He let it go, anyway.

“So, Jax? That’s it? No last name for this guy?”

“No.”

“How do we even know it’s his full first name? It sounds like its short for something.”

I was thinking hard trying to figure something out. “I don’t know Ty! I was hoping you could help.

“Well you haven’t given me much to go on, squirt. Come on. Let’s go into my room and I’ll see what we can find on Google. Maybe the guy was mentioned by the media at some stage after Chloe’s death. He was in the accident, after all. You’d think he’d get a shout out somewhere amongst it all.” I knew Ty didn’t like using my braille computer which I could understand, so counting my steps I followed him into his room where he still kept an old computer that he used when he came home for visits. It would suffice for what we needed.

“Why are you so desperate to do this?”

“I can’t explain it. I just am.”

“Okay, whatever you say. Let me just bring up Google. And…done. I’ll start by typing in Chloe McQuade’s death and see what comes up.”

His fingers ran over the keys and I could see the light of the screen change to signify a new page but nothing else.

“Whoa! Over two hundred hits. Could take me a while. The top ones are the most popular so we’ll start there.”

I sat fiddling with my hands and biting my gums. Was I overstepping my boundaries by making contact with him? Calling Chloe’s parents should have been enough and yet? There was something niggling inside me to do this. Where would it lead? I wasn’t sure. I’d cross that bridge when I came to it. Right now I just wanted that full name and address.

“Bingo!”

“Bingo?” My new heart was galloping to a faster tempo.

“Bingo! Jaxon Reynolds. Twenty six. Lives in Denver. There’s an image here too if you want me to describe what he looks like.”

Holy Cow! Jax was short for Jaxon. He was six years older than I and lived in Denver. We lived in the same city. We could have passed each other in the street at one point, although the chances were pretty slim. Did I want to know more than that? Did I want the image in my head to be marred by my brother’s description of the real Jax?

My teeth were almost piercing the skin inside my mouth as I threw the idea backwards and forwards. “Ty, I was really only needing a name and address.”

“Knowing who the guy is makes that a lot easier now. I’ll call my buddy Flint. There’s nothing he can’t find out about anyone or anything.”

I heard Ty ripping a piece of paper off a pad and writing down the details he needed to give to Flint. “Come on Sis. Before I quit out. Do you want to know what the guy looks like or not?”

If I didn’t find out it would bug me and it would keep on doing so until I knew. “Shoot. Might as well.”

“He’s actually a good looking guy. I mean if I was into males and all that. Dark hair, matching eyes. Actually, brooding eyes. Deep and almost sad. Yeah, definitely brooding. Roman nose, not big but chiseled. He’s wearing a two day growth in this pic. How am I doing so far? You got a visual in your head yet?”

Oh yeah. And Ty’s description wasn’t dissimilar to the one I already had implanted in my brain. In fact, I’d always pictured him dark. Never blond. Weird. “Okay go on. Anything else?”

“Not much. Hard to tell what his top lip looks like with the growth but there’s a full bottom lip. Angled sort of face. Wearing a black tee in this pic. Looks like he works out. It’s just a head shot but I can tell by his muscular neck that the guys buffed. Can’t tell you much more than that.”

“No. Thanks Ty. You’ve been amazing! I appreciate it. Can you let me know when you get an address?”
“Sure. If it’s not too far from here, we may as well hand deliver the letter.”

My eyes bugged out. “Oh, no we shouldn’t!”

“Why not? We’ll just drive by and put the envelope in the mail box.”
“What if he’s out the front?”

“I’ll keep on driving. Make it look like I’m just cruising.”

All of a sudden things were progressing from mailing the letter to taking it to his house. No. That sounded too much like stalking to me. And it’s not like I’d be able to see his house anyway. What would be the purpose of that? The only upside would be that he would get the letter on the day we delivered it. I would know that he actually received it. Sometimes the local postal service could be less than reliable.

“Look, let’s just worry about getting the address first and then decide.”

“Okay. You’re the boss. I’ll get onto it now.”

I leaned in and hugged him as best I could before going back to my room to analyze everything. I was suddenly feeling giddy like a school girl.