Young Annabelle Series: Young Annabelle, the Truth About James, What My Heart Wants (44 page)

And it’s begun.

Fifteen percent better.

Let the battle commence.

Mustering every ounce of courage I had, I looked up to a pair of mesmerizingly beautiful, yet amused green eyes and a row of backward baseball caps.

Royalty had arrived.

Unfortunately.

“Where were you during English, Fireball?” James snickered, eyeing his boys like he was so funny. They glanced back at him with similar amusement in their eyes.

Why was he talking to me like this?

It’s like I was nothing to him…..

James and his boys burst out laughing.

Judging by the condescending way he was looking at me, he really didn’t care anymore.

“Don’t talk to me.” I glowered at him, shaking my head in disbelief. He wasn’t the guy I fell for. I mean, I would have never fallen for a guy like that, at least I hoped I wouldn’t have.

“Don’t be like that, Fireball.” James sniggered, eyeing his boys like he was so hilarious. I couldn’t believe he’d used my nickname twice just so he could scar me in front of his friends. How could I have imagined such a
STUPID
DAY DREAM
?

Why would I want that?

Why would I ever
FUCKING
want that?

I HATED HIM!

“Leave me alone.” I whispered, stoically.

“Awe James, looks like you broke her heart!” One of his stupider boys announced, laughing even louder. After a few seconds, they stopped laughing and the amusement left James’s eyes. I glanced from left to right, my fellow classmates had stopped talking and were viewing this little ‘reunion’ with all their attention. Thankfully the line moved and I entered the restaurant, leaving the asshole crew behind.

Thank God they didn’t follow me inside. Then again, they couldn’t cut that long of a line, it would have outraged everyone waiting behind me. My hand trembled as it slid open the refrigerator. I grabbed a salad, then a water bottle. As I shut the door close, I felt a hard body bump next to me. Looks like I was wrong again, because they did follow me inside. Or rather, he did.

Oh God!

I shut my eyes and sighed in exhaustion. I felt his warm coarse fingertips on my shoulder, pulling me to turn.

“Why are you doing this?” He growled, quietly.

“Stop following me.” I hissed, not bothering to look at him for very obvious reasons. My heart was beating so fast, I was on the verge of collapsing. I took a breath, hoping it would help straighten my face from looking pained or an insult away from a hysterical breakdown. Holding every facial muscle I had, I faced him.

The next thing I saw ruined some of the hate I had inside of me, which sucked. I needed ‘hate’ power if I was going to stand my ground against him, especially now that we were kind of alone.

Looking as beautiful as ever in his semi-tight black shirt, that made every muscle in his broad chest standout, he stood with his arms crossed, glowering at me. I nearly gasped when I saw how close his body was to mine, we were practically rubbing elbows. My heart went into overdrive and immediately more of that hate dissipated as I stared deep into his eyes. All I wanted to do right at that moment was hurl myself into him and let him hold me tightly, never letting me go.

Sigh
….be strong.

“Please….leave me alone.” I whispered to him, making his eyes widen. “Just leave me alone. I swear from here on out we’ll never have to talk to each other again. You can go do your thing, and I’ll go do mine.”

He shook his head slowly, looking disgusted.

“You started it yesterday.” He growled through his teeth. “Making me look like a
fucking
dick in front of the entire school. You got what you wanted.”

My heart felt as if it stopped beating. I blinked at him. Yesterday’s disastrous hallway fight wasn’t how I wanted things to go, but I was left with no choice, with the way he’d treated me.

Especially after last Thursday.

I gave you everything and you burned me
with it!
I told him silently.

“I want you to leave me alone.” I told him once more, using whatever strength I had left to hold myself from crying.

I really, really, really, really wanted to cry.

I wanted to collapse to the ground and yell at the top of my lungs
at him, asking him why he’d treated me so horribly when he supposedly cared. I was supposed to be someone he
cared
about.

A lot. 

“You don’t have to worry about that, ever again. I’m never going to look at you after this. You were a waste of time.” He growled quietly, grabbing a chocolate milk carton and paying for it before bursting through the exit, without another glance at me.

I should have been relieved.

I should have been happy that I didn’t need to worry about James anymore, and that I was no longer going to be a beep on his radar.

He was going to ignore me from now on.

Fine…..it was going to be better like that.

Really….honest….
sigh
….damn it…...

I.

Have.

Problems!

A tear escaped my eyes. I wiped it away and paid for my food. Before heading out, I lightly slapped my face, hoping to snap the pained expression away before returning to Jenna. She’d notice anyways, considering she was on high alert when it came to my mood swings.

My eyes were probably red.

She wasn’t going to be happy when I explained what had just happened. I eyed my fellow classmates as they shuffled around me so they could exit. They all saw what happened. Everyone outside probably already knew.

Which meant, Jenna probably already knew.

I didn’t want another fight. I had no energy for it. Stalling, I moved out of the way to let others exit. I pulled out my phone, checking to see if there were any texts from Dean.

Nothing.

I needed him to hear me out, so I could explain how I never meant to hurt him.

I felt like such a hypocrite. I never wanted to speak to James again and here I was hoping Dean would give me the time of day so I could explain the
mess
I caused. 

The mess I caused…..

All of a sudden, the feeling to flee became overwhelming. I didn’t want be at school for another minute. I needed one of those mental health days….maybe even a few before I could be a hundred percent again.

I made up my mind, I was going home, to my room and to my bed, where I wouldn’t leave until I absolutely had to.

I headed out the restaurant, focusing on the floor as I made my way back to Jenna’s table. As soon as I got to the table, I unzipped my bag and slipped in my food to eat at home. I glanced up to a puzzled Jenna. “I’m going home,” I whispered to her.

She blinked repeatedly and jerked her head back in shock. “Why?” She whispered.

She didn’t hear about what happened?
I thought it would have been top news already. Well, if she didn’t know, I certainly didn’t want to have to explain it to her in front of everyone. I’d call her later, behind the shield of my blanket.

“I just wanna go home,” I pulled my backpack on. “I’ll call you later and tell you about it.”

Jenna looked past my shoulders. “Was it the
douchebag
again?”

“How could you tell?” I muttered, exhaling.

“Because….
that asshole
is looking this way, laughing it up with his idiot friends!” Jenna hissed. “
God!
Can I please give him the finger?”

I shook my head. “Just ignore him.”

“After what he did….I’m making no promises.” She eyed me funnily and snorted. “Do you think you can really ignore him from now?”

I exhaled. “Here’s hoping.”

*~*~*

If I could have given a message to the world at this moment, I would have told every single teenage girl in the world to forget about boys till university, or maybe until after they finished school altogether. If they fell for someone at work and things turned badly, they could always quit. You couldn’t quit school, not without ruining your life.

Not graduating because of a stupid idiot boy…..it was so depressingly tragic…..and I swear to God I was only a few horrible moments away from that.

I’ll take mind fuck for a million, Alex.

Why such an outrageous bet?

Because, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve gone all in and lost.

Again, again, again, again…..again.

My door knocked, barely breaking my trance. “Annabelle?” Mom called from the other side. She slowly opened the door and came inside. “What are you doing home so early?”

“I’m not feeling good.” I muttered, eyeing her slowly as she took a seat on my bed next to me.

“Why?” Mom asked, sounding concerned.

“I’m sad.” I sighed.

“Is it because of this morning?” Mom grimaced, sounding panicky. “Did I go psycho mom again on you? I’m sorry, I did it again. Jesus, there really is something wrong with me.”

“Chill mom, it’s all good.” I murmured to her, feeling numb to her outburst. “Just do me a favor and give me some space right now. I could use the privacy.”

“Oh, okay.” Mom got up and quickly closed the door behind her, giving me my silence back. I needed this time to myself. It was just me and the music now.

“Thanks for joining us for our late lunch slow jam. Our next song is dedicated to all those heartbroken. It’s ‘I’m not in love’ by 10cc, right here, on Light 107 fm.” The radio hummed beside me as I layed on my bed, transfixed with my ceiling as another fantasy consumed me.

“Take my shirt off.” I whispered to him as he kissed my neck for the first time since last Thursday. “Take everything off.”

James, without answering, did as he was told. Then he unclothed himself and layed naked on top of me, staring deep into my eyes. “I love you baby.” He whispered.

I stopped breathing, but resumed to answer him back even though I shouldn’t have. “I love you too.”

He grinded against me, his green eyes looking sad. “I’m sorry,” He whispered. “I’m fucked up.”

“Just make love to me.” I whispered back, wiping his wet, red rimmed eyes.

“I don’t have anyone in my life like you,” He grinded again, sounding distraught. “I don’t have anyone. I’m always alone. I didn’t know how to deal with how I felt. I fucked it up.”

“Make love to me James.” I whispered again and he quickly slid on a condom and entered me, going in and out, making my head tilt back and the rim of my eye water from pure delight. “Baby,”

“I’m going to make it up to you, I swear.” James promised, pumping faster. “I’ll do anything to make things right with you baby. I won’t let anyone stand in my way.”

“Just don’t stop what you’re doing. We’ll talk about that other stuff after.” I ordered him softly, pulling him in for an epic kiss.

Snap out of it!

NOW!

A smart person wouldn’t be day dreaming these scenarios.

But that’s just the thing…..I wasn’t a smart person. A smart person would have gotten off the James train a long, long, long, time ago.

“That was ‘I’m not in love’ by 10cc, now for all those love sick optimists out there, here’s ‘Baby it’s you’ by The Beatles, right here on Light 107 fm.” The radio hummed, filling my room with their calming voice, making me sway slowly, calmly. Soon enough, I was knee deep into another fantasy….

“Baby,” James murmured as the warning bell rung behind us, sending whoever was left in the hallway scrambling to class and leaving James and me, to our moment. “You belong to me?”

“Only if you belong to m
e.” I murmured back as his soft but coarse finger tips glided along my bare arm, making every single spot on my body tingle.

Fireworks.

“Baby,” James murmured with a smile, wrapping his strong arm around my waist and pulling me in. “I’m only yours.”

“You’re crazy about me?” I smiled shyly, leaning up, stopping an inch away from his smile. Without answering, he bent down and kissed me.

James pulled back, without letting go of my waist. “More than you’ll ever know.”

Oh My God!

What was wrong with me?

Probably a lot of things, and no, I didn’t know how to fix them at this moment. What I did know was this messy situation with James wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. And in order to survive my remaining days at Royal Heights High, I had to come up with a plan.

A plan of attack.

CHAPTER 35

I woke up fresh the next day and early.

Today, I would show James that I was over him and that he could go screw himself. From here on out, there would be no more fantasy’s, no more daydreams, and no more giving in.

Honest…..I swear. 

I hoped that was the optimist in me speaking and not the delusional.

Alright, let’s do this.

My closet, thanks to mom’s pre-weightloss shopping, actually provided me with options I never would have considered on my own.

Meaning…..sexy clothes.

I needed something that would make me stand out. The only thing I could think of were clothes that showed a lot of skin and left little to the imagination. Shorts and tight tops were exactly what I needed to make the impression that I wanted today.

I had a point to prove.

Why?

Because I made a choice, and whether it was the right choice or the sanest, it didn’t matter to me.

I know…..I have problems.

Call me stupid, a masochist, and even brain dead, it’s the choice I made. If played with, I choose to fight back and bring a certain ‘asshole’ to his knees, begging for my mercy.

Hopefully Jenna wouldn’t be too upset that I wasn’t going to ignore him and move on. She’s probably going to think I’ve become obsessed with him.

Or, she might join me.

“Annabelle.” Mom blinked as I entered the kitchen. “Good morning, sweetheart.” Her eyes followed me as I took a seat next to a shell shocked Katherine.

“Morning little sis,” I smiled at her and poured healthy cereal for myself. I held the box out to mom. “Is it okay that I continue eating this? I’ll eat more than usual.”

Mom sighed and sat down, spinning a spoon in her coffee. “It’s my fault. I’ve been drilling it into your head for the last few months that you shouldn’t eat this and eat more of things like the healthy cereal. I just….I don’t….I don’t want you going down a bad path. I pushed you too much. I’m sorry.”

“I won’t go down a bad path. I’ll switch from dieting to eating in moderation.” I promised her, pouring the two percent milk that was on the table. “You see, two percent milk.”

“Yes, that’s what we’ll do from now on. Healthy, but not scary healthy.” Mom smiled, then took a sip of her steaming cup of coffee. She lowered her cup and eyed my outfit confusedly. “That’s some outfit darling.”

“It’s really hot today,” I replied, avoiding eye contact.

“Your hair might frizz in that heat, which would be a shame, all that work you put into making it straight. And I hope you don’t sweat off that light make up you’ve done.’ Mom assessed.

“I’ll be fine.” I mumbled.

“Are you sure?” Mom asked.

“Yeah,” I answered her, getting busy eating my breakfast in record speed.

I grabbed my bowl and got up, dumping it in the sink. “I’m off.” I called halfway out the kitchen.

“Anna, wait a minute please.” Mom called, joining me as I, for the first time since school started, slid into black flip flops instead of my black slip on Chucks. “You look lovely,”

“Thanks,” I told her, my hand on the door knob, turning it slowly. “Anything else?”

Mom looked like she wanted to say something, but she shook her head and smiled warmly at me. “No, it’s nothing. Have a good day.”

*~*~*

Jenna’s jaw dropped as I headed towards her. She was waiting at our usual spot beside the pillars next to the front stairs. “Um…who the hell are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

“You like?” I smiled timidly, pulling at the hem of my tropical printed shorts and my tight waist level peach colored tank top. The clothes looked good on me, but I had to be careful. If I ran too fast or jumped, the shirt would go up and my navel would be exposed to everyone. I wasn’t ready to show that much skin in public just yet.

Even if it was hot as hell in Florida.

“Um,” Jenna cringed, eyeing my outfit for the thousandth time. “It’s nice, but it’s a little sexy for school. Maybe for the beach it’d have been nice, like a cool beach party, but Anna, we’re at school.”

You can do this!

Breathe.

“I know,” I gulped. “I did it on purpose.”

Jenna eyed me confusedly. “Why?”

“I made a choice,” I told her.

“You made a choice?” Jenna repeated, with no amusement in her eyes. “Another bad one again?”

“I don’t think so.” I blinked, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“Spit it out,” Jenna demanded, quietly.

“I made a choice last night,” I started, taking a sharp breath as my heart rate accelerated. “I’m going to fight back.”

Jenna’s eyes widened. She pushed off the pillar she was leaning against. “What?”

I gulped again. “I’m fighting back.”

“How?” Jenna grinned all of a sudden. “By dressing like a two cent
hookah!
”

“I’m serious!” I screeched, pulling at the hem of my shirt as she burst out laughing. “Is it really that bad? Have I gone too far?”

Jenna dimmed her laugh down and became serious. “Relax,” She sighed. “I’m playing with you. I think it’s great. You look awesome. Sexy as hell and I’m a little jealous, because I want your legs.” 

“Yeah, okay.” I didn’t believe her, she had an amazing body. If anything I was jealous of her legs.

Jenna grabbed my shoulder and eyed me sternly. “Today, is, going, to, be, a, great, day.”

“It, is.” I matched her slow but determined tone. “He wants to play dirty and put me on blast in front of the entire school, well, let’s see him try and do it now. This girl right here, she looks good.”

“Hell yeah she does.” Jenna rejoiced, shaking my shoulders. “We, are, going, to, rock, today!”

“Yes, we, are.” I stated.

“Let’s do this, we have a school to conquer.” Jenna ordered, heading up the stairs with me trailing beside her. On the patio I grabbed her bag strap as she led the way around our fellow classmates. Some were eyeing me peculiarly, especially the boys.

“Look at all the guys staring at you Anna!” Jenna hissed, ecstatic. “Should I yell out, ‘hot girl coming through’?”

I laughed at her comedic timing, feeling a hundred times better than yesterday.

“Work those hips girl.” Jenna laughed, walking away to her locker, leaving me standing by myself.

Here we go.

I turned and all I saw were warm brown eyes and a twinkle of amusement. Then I took in the rest of him and it was a boy I had been going to school with since freshman year. I forgot his name though. “Hey,” He grinned, eyeing me funnily. “You’re new here?”

“No,” I grinned. “I’ve been going here since freshman year. I know who you are.”

“You know me?” The guy’s eyes widened. “How come I don’t remember you? I’d remember a cutie like you.”

“I know you, but I don’t know you, if that makes sense? I don’t remember your name.” I shook my head grinning, feeling my heart beat faster at the term of endearment.

“Josh,” He replied, eyeing me in flirty way. “And you are……?”

“Annabelle.” I replied, like ‘duh’.

His jaw dropped. “Annabelle?”

“Yeah?” I said.

“I remember we had Bio last year, last period. You changed so much,” Josh mumbled, barely coherent. “You didn’t look like this before.”

“Duh,” I grinned at him. I checked the hallway and the popular crew hadn’t arrived yet.

“Where did you come from?” He murmured behind me, “It’s not my birthday till March.”

I raised an eyebrow, stifling my smile. This was so crazy. The attention was making me feel weird. “I’ve been here all this time.” I could feel my face heating up on route to my locker.

“Better than ever, right?” Josh grinned, adjusting his backpack strap as I opened my locker. “What class do you have now?”

“English.” I answered, changing notebooks. “And yourself.”

“Yeah, what’s your next class?” A familiar voice mocked, making my entire body freeze. In a matter of seconds, everything around me went quiet. I closed my locker and turned slowly, coming face to face with a pair of angry green eyes and a row of backward Baseball caps with their arms crossed.

James! And the Kings of the hallway!

One.

Two.

Three.

Holy shit!

“Well, what class do you have next……Studmuffin?” James sneered. His boy’s sniggered at that comment, but Josh’s face went stony.

Asshole!
I scowled at James and the rest of the Kings of the hallway. Why’d he have to do that in front of everyone?

“I asked you a question, and you’re not answering me.” James stood in front of Josh, eyeing him sternly. “So it makes me think we got a problem?”

“No man,” Josh murmured, taking a step away, without another glance at me. “We don’t have a problem.”

“Then don’t ever let me see you near my girl again.” James threatened quietly, his jaw clenching hostilely. “Got it, bitch?”

What?!

I wasn’t his girl!

Josh nodded and speed walked away, escaping into the crowd that surrounded us. After that, it was like everything went into slow motion. The guys standing behind James rubbed his shoulders in a congratulations gesture while others slapped hands with him. He grinned widely, eyeing them and nodding like he proved his point.

This was it. The time to show him what was up was about to start.

I took a deep breath. “You’re an asshole.” I told him, taking a step closer towards him, eyeing him sternly. “And I’m not your girl.”

The hallway became a whispered frenzy. The guys behind James eyed one another incredulously, like they couldn’t believe what I’d just said. I went there, in public, again.

Oh yeah….I was out for the kill.

I placed my hand to my waist and tilted my head to the side, waiting for him to say something. But he didn’t say anything. He just stood there, gazing blankly at me. After a few seconds the warning bell rang and the crowd dispersed. The Kings murmured their goodbye’s and fled the scene, leaving James and I, in our little stare-off.

“You look nice today,” He murmured all of sudden, stunning me.

I looked nice today?

He wasn’t supposed to be saying these things to me. He was supposed to be ignoring me forever. What was wrong with him? He couldn’t keep any of his promises, good or bad.

I shook my head, feeling my heart go BOOM. He was trying to trap me again with his famous soft gaze and heart melting tone.

Not this time….

Not
freaking
this time…..I was on a mission….I was fighting back.

He was obviously playing with me!

Be strong Annabelle!

“Don’t talk to me.” I murmured and walked around him towards English. I felt his body close behind me.

“Look who’s all strong today. What happened? Had a good pep talk with your crazy best friend from the Swim team?” James sneered behind me. “Girl power, right?”

“Screw you,” I hissed, eyeing him deathly before heading into class and leaving him with his stupid face in the hallway. English was almost filled, and horribly, there were only two seats left, and they were together in the back row beside the window.

James’s regular spot.

Great….just freaking great. Now I’d have to ignore him for an entire period.

Note to self, get to class faster from now on.

Since James liked sitting next to the window and I walked into class first, I gladly took the seat next to the window just to piss him off. Before, when things were less hostile between us, I would have gladly given that seat to him.

But not today….there was no mercy today.

I struggled not to laugh as James took the seat next to me.  

“You’re in my seat, Fireball.” James stated as I took my notebook out of my bag. I kind of knew he was going to say that and I had a witty response to fire back at him, but him calling me ‘Fireball’ again left me enraged…..making my blood boil.

“Don’t call me that,” I hissed, eyeing him sternly. “You never call me that again, you understand?”

His jaw clenched. “Stop acting like a bitch.”

My jaw dropped.

Um…..excuse me?

What did he just call me?

Before I could fire back, the bell rang and Mr. Doors shut the front door loudly, motioning everyone to stop talking.

I closed my mouth and shook my head at him as he started to smirk.

Asshole!

“Okay, class, let’s pick up where we left off yesterday.” Mr. Doors began the lesson and I positioned my body so that James would face the side of my back. As class went on, James started making strange grunting noises on the down low. It reminded me of how he acted on the first day of school. And just like the first day, I was beginning to question his intelligence level.